W: Help Father, I need your help.

DF: Sure thing Wayne, I’m here.

W: Well, it’s maybe not as urgent as I make it sound, but it is important and I do need help.

DF: What’s up?

W: Today, after a morning of cobbing, I was feeling a restless angst inside and had to feel into what it was. It didn’t take long to feel it as Tristan, the part of me who has held my contractor role in life, and who’s busy adjusting to such a simpler life, not earning money, in a new country and culture. I felt Tristan looking to you for guidance on how to be with the pain of letting go, as well as how to be with the restless feelings.

DF: Wow, Wayne, I’m glad you can feel what’s going on inside, instead of reaching for some medication to dull or mask the feelings, and then I’m glad you have Tristan, a part of you that you can honor for all that he has held, and can feel his growing pains, or maybe we should call them changing pains.

W: Thank you, Father. He’s mostly feeling wanting to learn how to be in this new way of life. He’d like to learn to be okay with our rustic lifestyle and especially our simple cobb construction, when for all of his life, he found new and improved ways of doing things that involved higher knowledge and better equipment and tools. It was a whole way of life, that provided a sense of worth and identity around that. Now that that’s eroding, and thawing out, and there is pain to be felt as the layers erode.

DF: What are the pains?

W: Well, instead of trying to describe them, I’ll just ask Tristan, who I think is up for speaking for himself.

Tristan: Hello Father.

DF: Hello Tristan, thanks for being up for talking. Can you say what the pains are?

T: Well, father, it’s about not having what used to make me feel good about myself.

DF: What was it that made you feel good about yourself?

T: For me, it was about pleasing people for sure, finding a need and meeting that need. Then it was about efficiency and learning better ways of meeting those needs and then I also got off on making ever increasing and often crazy amounts of money for it all.

DF: And most of that is gone now?

T: You mean the money?

DF: The money and all the goodies you just described…

T: Well, yes, the money is mostly gone now. We have about a years worth of really simple living if we watch it carefully. But the ability to go and find new jobs and earn a whack of money and buy new tools and all of that is over. It was such a big deal in Wayne’s life and it capped off other desires and callings in Wayne’s life I’m afraid too.

DF: How do you feel about that part, the capping you mention?

T: Well, sorry, I start with ‘well’ a lot don’t I? Well, I feel sorry. It took all the space or most of the space, and if Wayne hadn’t chosen this big life change, I’m afraid I’d still be taking a whole bunch too much space.

DF: I like the space you are taking now Tristan, talking to me, talking to Wayne, feeling the thaw of the layers of the old you letting go. I’m sorry that you feel you took too much space. My sense is that you were the best thing Wayne had going for a long time, you were needed, it couldn’t really have been any other way, and now, you are sensitive to, and living into the change. What deep regret is there in that?

T: Maybe the only regret is father is that I don’t feel as good about myself as much as I’d like to. I mean, I’d like to be okay with how our days have so much space and choice. There isn’t any more of ‘having to go to work.’ And sometimes that’s hard for me. Work made me feel good about myself.

DF: It’s so natural Tristan that you are having withdrawal feelings. If you can feel them like you are, then they aren’t cumbersome, or dark, they just are the sweet process of you feeling yourself, and being felt by Wayne, as well as me anytime you’d like.

T: That works for me, Father.

DF: Tristan, let me tell you, if you are willing to ride this process out and be with the feelings that come up, I can assure you that there is plenty of good feelings to be had about yourself. The difference is that they won’t be hiding any bad feelings about your self. You will do what you enjoy to do, simply for the fun of it, not to overcome any feelings about yourself that you don’t like.

T: I’d really like to be in that Father.

DF: Well, see that Tristan, I like starting out with ‘well’ too. Well, as I was saying, then so you shall, Tristan, so you shall. Some things in life just need time to live into the new way. It doesn’t take forever, but it does take some time to undo a deeply entrenched way of living, and make room for the arising new one. I’d say you’re right on track.

T: Thank you again Father.

DF: You’re so welcome, Tristan.

Wayne: Thank you, Father.

DF: You’re welcome, Wayne.

W: Father, I hope people can feel how I am with my parts and not write it off as some imagined thing, some therapeutic method.

DF: I hope they don’t either, because then that puts me out of the picture pretty much too. If people are not able to see and feel a larger context to life, a larger reality than the prevailing one, the safe one, then they are pretty much destined to live in the old one till that changes.

W: If it ever changes…

DF: Oh, it will change, eventually. You can be sure of that. The most difficult change though is being an early adopter of a new emerging story of life in the way that you are with your parts Wayne. There is many though who are ready and able to feel it through you, and are drawn to it, and are ready to embrace it as their truth as well.

W: What do I need to do to connect with them?

DF: Just keep living what you are living. Being this way is what etches it into the grids and makes it possible for others to find it in the soularium. This doesn’t need any of the old marketing energy to find it’s groove.

W: Thank you Father for helping me feel my way through a big piece today. I feel a bunch lighter.

DF: I’m glad you did. If you didn’t have issues Wayne, we wouldn’t have connected. Maybe one day, I’ll bring up my issues.

W: You’ve got issues too. Cool. Makes me feel better.

DF: I’m serious Wayne. I’m sure they will come up as we go keep on. Where did people get the idea that god wouldn’t have issues?

W: I suspect that it came from people trying to hide their issues, so they made a god who happened to be free of issues.

DF: Exactly.

W: Thanks again Father,

DF: You’re welcome, Wayne.

 

Wayne Vriend is a healer and author of 90 Days With Yeshua. Visit soulfullheart.com for more information.