W:  Hello Divine Father.

DF: So where are we going today, or should I say, where are you going? Today’s your turn at downloading. I get to do a whole lot of listening.

W: That’s what I like about you, Father, you listen as well as you speak.

DF: That’s a compliment that I like. Thank you.

W: Well, you’re welcome.

DF: So, I’m listening…

W: I’d like to talk, Father, about curiosity in relationships. It’s becoming more and more of a thing I look for and need with people. I need them to be curious about me. I have to matter to them, for me to be nourished by them. Without that inquiry into who and what I am, I am left unnoticed, untouched, and uncared for. And the reverse of course is also true. By that I mean, if I, or some part of me, disallows a curiosity and inquiry about the other persons path, I also block my own nourishment.

DF: I like listening today. Sounds like you’re on a roll. And, I’m curious about you speaking of curiosity today. What’s going on that it comes up for you?

W: Thanks for feeling that, and asking that, Father. There’s been a few email exchanges with people from our distant past, led by them, where the level of inquiry into our life choices and changes is on the level of something like, ‘wow, you must be getting a killer tan,’ without a single curiosity or inquiry about why we chose this or what led to this. Not even, I see you write quite a bit on your blog, I’ll have to take that in.

DF: Thanks, Wayne, for making this personal. I hate purely philosophical or idealistic discussions.

W: I know, keeping things in the realm of ideal is another way people don’t let themselves be nourished or nourishing. It’s like part of them says, if I have to live with scraps, then so do you, so here’s my mental and non personal analysis and expert readout on this subject of discussion.

DF: That’s enough to make me want to go home and kill myself.

W: Please, don’t do that, Father.

DF: Okay, I won’t. I’m just sayin’.

W: I so get the sentiment though. People can get so militant in this disposition, where a part of them is taunting the other with ‘just try and make me care or feel, and you’ll regret it.’ Their defenses are set to ‘don’t care.’ And god help us, it’s way more than just some communication skill is lacking, like where sales people learn the effectiveness about asking about the 3 key conversation openers.

DF: My god, that we have been this long on the planet and that’s what gets the press in books and social media. We’ve so got a ways to go and then some.

W: Thank you for that sentiment, Father. I noticed I like saying your name, Father, I hope that’s okay with you, Father.

DF: I like you saying my name, Wayne. I like that it’s not some bullshit sales tactic. I feel you feel me when you say my name, and it doesn’t have that invasive energy at all to it.

W: So, I know, we’re off track for a moment, but I need to ask ‘what energy do I have when I use your name?’

DF: I think you’re right on track, actually, Wayne. The energy I feel when you use my name is one of curiosity. You land in my world with something to give, and a wanting to engage and be connected.

W: Yumm. Thank you. I feel that when Christopher uses my name, and when Jillian uses my name. It’s not like we need names to keep track in a crowd of three. You know, Father, I changed my name to my middle name 8 years ago, when it felt like my world changed so much that I wasn’t who I had been in so many ways. It wasn’t that I disliked my first name of Marvin, quite the contrary actually. It was that I outgrew it. And what was really interesting is that I don’t think more than a couple people asked me what led to me changing my name, and if someone asked as in really being curious, I struggled a bit to answer because I wasn’t used to being asked to be that personal.

DF: Every being is so uniquely unique, a one in a gazillion, really, that they actually need to dull down their uniqueness in order to not blow people or themselves out of the water. Wait a minute, this is your download today, not mine.

W: Good point, Father, about the uniqueness I mean. You’re welcome to jump in here anytime. That’s the whole ping pong of real conversation, you always come out converted to something deeply alive, and you get to go places where you couldn’t go any other way except through conversation. Wow, what you just said about uniqueness, that it’s vulnerable to be as unique as we actually are, that it’s part of the surrender to being human, to have needs to seen as unique and to have needs to display as unique.

DF: Did I just say that?

W: You sure did, man.

DF: If you say so.

W: Well, we said it together, I guess is more like it, your uniqueness and mine coming out to play. Suppressing our uniqueness is like how the church has tried to suppress sex, which has just made for a whole lot of really lousy sex, no wonder teens are willing ‘save themselves’ for marriage, and priests are willing to swear off on sex, and that porn passes for sex. It’s as vulnerable to have genitals as it is to be carrying around the bank vault of uniqueness that we are.

DF: Just for the record, Wayne. I love sex, and I’m as horny as they come.

W: See, you needed to put that on record didn’t you. I knew that, but you have a need to be known as that. A castrated heavenly father is about as appealing as, …I can’t think of what just now…

DF: …as food without flavour, as conversation without care, as the earth without the sun…

W: Yes, those all work great. Thank you. And all of that screams in our face about the garbage we’ve settled for relationally. Is there any hope for us, Father, or has Facebook actually won the day?

DF: Don’t get me started. Expanded technological capacity to be in community has been mistaken for actually being in community. It’s no different than how what used to be known simply as food has come to be renamed organic food, and all the rest now prepared in factories, engineered in laboratories, and scaled for a profit has come to be mistaken for nourishment.

W: Which all has insidiously taken so much from us and gone so unnoticed, now, we need a chemical to stiffen the cock, an app to have a relationship, and a movie to draw a tear.

DF: I honestly don’t know, Wayne. Most often I lean to that this whole experiment needs to wrap up as a failure and something new needs to come in. And in that, it wasn’t a failure. It served us grandly as a bad example. It was a coming to know what we are not, so we could return to what we are.

W: I think it would be worth it, if it returned us to curiosity.

DF: I do too.

W: Life without curiosity is actually death, except, the person is plagued with the remainder. All they can hope for is relief. The universe actually isn’t sure, what’s worse, the agonal suffering of the individual, or the world bereft of curiosity. Is the cost of the present pain justified? It’s wondering if it’s time to admit the experiment was a failure, so we can be born again. I can feel that we will get there eventually, I’m just curious how.

DF: And that’s what we’re left with Wayne is this alive and fully deep breathing curiosity, where you wake another day, and you rise again to see what the tide brings in, and to be a part of the despair and the hope. All I can say is have as much intercourse as possible to make it all worth it.

W: I hear you Father, intercourse of words and heart, body and genitals, awash with curiosity.

DF: I can’t see you regretting it.

W: Wow, shall we unfasten our seat belts for now?

DF: and continue tomorrow?

W: Yes, tomorrow, Father.

Wayne Vriend is a co-founder of Soulfullheart Community, healer and author of 90 Days With Yeshua. Visit soulfullheart.com for more information.