By Raphael Awen
Calling ourselves lightworkers and wayshowers without acknowledging that we all are also darkworkers and wayconcealers is a kind of pathetic.
It’s a good kind of pathetic, like the veil of forgetfulness kind, but it leaves us out there sounding kind of tinny. We didn’t previously sound so tinny, but something has shifted and now we’re left sounding more and more shady like charlatans or overampy street vendors.
There’s whole swaths of us just now getting the memo that backlights this kind of kinship with what was an ignorant bliss. What we once believed and even knew to be true has shifted, and it’s changing everything.
Here we come to see and feel that as part of the divine, we participated in an exercise likened to an alzheimer’s patient who hides their own Easter eggs and wraps their own Christmas presents. We possessed everything there was to possess, except for the ability to experience lack, and so we asked the question of how could our completeness be complete if we haven’t known and been tested by lack? Then we figured that the experience of lack wouldn’t be real enough if we knew that it was just sitting down to an evening board game kind of simulation of reality, so we mixed in enough deep forgetting to make it effective.
We must have really battled over what the requisite recipe amount of forgetfulness would be as the whole experiment would be useless if it were not enough, and again useless if the amount were too much and most of us were unable to ever be re-membered back with our essence; somehow lost forever in the biblical language of ‘outer darkness where there is only wailing and gnashing of teeth’.
Now, we’re in a new place where both are true, both the forgetting and the remembering, both the wayconcealing and the wayshowing, along with all the aftermath. It’s anything but business as usual, and yet there is enough stability to feel and heal what is wanting to be felt and healed.
I’m reminded of the sales pitch: what better guy to show you how to protect your home than the guy who used to rob people’s homes, right?….Who’s had a change of heart, and a reconciliation with himself, and the universe, and isn’t play pretending any longer in order to manipulate those still asleep. That us taking responsibility for our own creation. We dialed up all the mess. The ‘enemy’ is beautifully us.
That’s a big waking up. We consciously feel huge desire to be shown the way and to return to the light, but subconsciously, we are being invited into the awareness that we also cocreated the darkness and agreed to it, much like kids setting up an evening of dressup games. We did it and we did it for the most profound and serious purpose imaginable, that is to live on the edge of real curiosity.
We agreed on the condition that essence could never be shaken or taken from us, while the experience would change drastically. We were assured that we would, through the use of the time illusion, ‘event’-ually, event by chosen event, come out the other side, back to being re-membered, from our experience of being dis-membered.
This is the process we find ourselves in now, a true dimensional shift, where the next phase of this board game is coming into play. Even the words we use and how we use them are wanting to shift into alignment. We need to feel and heal all the all too real sufferings we dialled up for ourselves in the previous dimensional reality, and to do that, we are given this overlay of the two realities, one upon the other.
I am perfect wholeness, and I carry reactionary wounding to this journey I’ve taken. Both are true. I have it all and yet I find myself wanting. I am perfect light, yet I am in process of incorporating light into my darkness.
This feels like the bigger deal we curiously imagined for ourselves, like privileged children, knowing they can have whatever they want, set out to want more. We wanted the more of knowing what it would feel like to be returning to love, and so we needed to step outside of it in order to give ourselves that experience.
It’s like my 13 year old once chided me ‘Dad, unless you leave, I can’t miss you!’.
Nothing’s been lost, though it often so feels that way.
We needed the missing.
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.