Day 10 ~ Journal To The Demiurge

Journal To The Demiurge with Raphael Awen

By Raphael Awen

(This is Day 10 of an ongoing series, to begin at day 1, go here:

In Day Ten, I open out an exciting budding connection with Metasoul Brother, King Arthur of Camelot, into our journey at hand. Join with this growing posse of hearts as we form an ambassadorship delegation to meet with the Demiurge.

Thank you for tracking this series. We’re off to see the Demiurge, the Christian God, Yahweh, or Jehovah, to see and feel what we are ready to see and feel together…

Here is Day 10:
Raphael: Okay, ready to rumble, everyone? Let’s roll. I’m feeling like a rockstar! A star in my own universe!

I’ve had some bigger connections with Arthur yesterday, outside of our dialogue here in this Journal together. King Arthur is a beloved Metasoul Brother, and I have both been waiting patiently, as well as with some trepidation, for a deeper connection to arise between us. Well, it arose in a big way and he has agreed to share here, at my request. So, I feel, with no further ado, to ask you to share. Arthur?…

Arthur: Raphael, and also to this great company of hearts and soul. I thank each one of you for allowing me space on this journey with you. I feel so deeply, deeply, honored. I feel a little awkward, however, having the opportunity to share here prior to Animalea sharing. Raphael, you have referred to her, and to what was an all-male circle before she was acknowledged and invited in. This deeply stirred another awakening for me, that our round table in Camelot, as treasured as it was; one of the reasons it came to an end, was the absence of women in our circle. There was a way that each of us as men, were still afraid of our own inner feminine and this was reflected in our no-girls-allowed, boys-only club. So, I’d like to say that I will gladly be delivered my own nervousness of speaking here in this moment and instead be given to hearing from you, Animalea, if you would so relieve me?

Raphael: Animalea?

Animalea: Ahh, King Arthur, I am just settling into hearing from you, and my heart is stirred already by your words. I shall be more ready to share here once I have heard your heart speak.

Raphael: Looks like it’s back to you then, King Arthur.

Arthur: Okay, then, and yes, I shall look very forward to hearing from you also, Animalea.

This is what I felt through to share with you all today. I have been a King, though, recently, this came to mean almost nothing to me. It felt like more of a curse than a blessing. I found myself in great despair with Camelot in ruins and our round table circle of men, that is legendary in your timeline, is but a heartache in mine.  Dispersed to the four winds and seemingly gone forever; until Raphael and Rhodes reached out and began bridging to me. Living with the remains of so much gained and then lost was more than my heart could bear. I closed myself down to my own multidimensionality, trying to minimize my pain, so it took some doing to bring me to this place of being able to be here with you all.

Raphael’s story this life and choice points of actually leaving Christianity, after being so fully in it, is what I was not able to inhabit. This was also a big part of the downfall of Camelot, and my very much beloved circle of brave hearted men. I was always plagued with having one foot in Christianity, and the other foot out of it at the same time. Raphael has helped me to heal my own judgment of myself for allowing this to persist. Hearing Raphael’s story, being taken in so deeply here in this circle, has penetrated my aching and sleeping heart, and renewed a dream in me that lies yet unfulfilled.

Feeling Raphael’s heart, I can feel what might be described as a radar technology that still lives in this circle, that could never be destroyed, that yet connects us, and even invites us out of our despair, as it has me so recently. I honour your preservation and desire of these bonds, Raphael, and acknowledge what you described with your former friend, Rene, as well as with your sacred friendship with Gabriel in your present timeline. I also honor, Raphael, your sacred journey with Mar-yam, as it holds so much reflection and digestion of my relationship with Guinevere. As Raphael and I discussed, something needed to die in order for something larger to be reborn. That something larger is a greater mystery than the former one, and I feel like I still haven’t solved the former one, but I shall be happy now to continue the quest. Everything in its time feels like good medicine for the moment. It just feels so good to have this connection with you all. Again, thank you for your pursuit, Raphael. Thank you, Rhodes, for your holding of the space for this access to all of you. Thank you to this great company. I especially honour this intention at hand. I know that I have things to resolve inwardly and outwardly with the Demiurge as well. I best pause here. I’ve spoken so much more than I thought I was ready to.

Raphael: Wowwww. Get used to the new normal I guess! Now, you know why I’m feeling like a rockstar. Thank you so much, Arthur. Your presence and heart energy comes as a long awaited boost to the energy field here. Thank you for every one of your acknowledgments.

I feel to share a bit as well about our connection that unfolded, so recently. Since the first time I saw and read depictions about the ‘Arthurian Legend’, it always struck a deep chord in me. More recently, I could feel that Arthur was a Metasoul Brother. Letting go of the trap of trying to claim that I was him in a past life and instead simply getting on with the undeniable resonance between us is what the Metasoul picture offers. I began to consciously welcome Arthur into my awareness as I felt each of us calibrating to each other, though there wasn’t conscious communication between us at first. Later came more desire to continue to open up the access points between us. Rhodes, as my Gatekeeper, played a key role in this as he and I felt the risk and desire points together that reconnecting with Arthur would bring us in this timeline.

Such a big one for me is the passion for connection with heart open and passionate men. Arthur, I feel, holds a strong energetic, like he said, a radar, maybe you could even call it a ‘bromance energy’, where men leave their lives as they know them to be a part of something they can’t stay away from. In this way, he and I could simply no longer remain apart, and needed to again bridge our timelines to see where that would take us.

It was only yesterday that I felt a big piece of the breakthrough with Arthur, that Rhodes and I felt ready to let in. A normal afternoon was punctuated by a surprisingly large internal sudden change in the weather. I felt like crap at first, but knew this wasn’t directly mine. I knew it was time to check in directly with Arthur. The access with him was now easy and ripe, and I found him in deep despair, as he said. Our connection immediately brought an awareness, that we discussed and felt together, how the Camelot timeline actually didn’t fail at all, but actually succeeded in all that it was meant to and in all that it could in that time. It was meant to be a powerful seed that falls into the ground and dies, and comes back to life, to bring forth much fruit.

Arthur and I also digested the personal pieces together about the absence of women in the round table. We felt together how this was something that had to be, given the circumstances of his timeline. We also felt how we are actually able to carve out a new timeline now, on his end as well as mine, by leveraging each others’ timelines, all the way into ours here in this circle.

One last final piece we digested together was how the oath of the round table was doomed to eventually come to an end, rooted as it was in moral code, duty, and obligation. Duty and obligation served us for a time to take us to this time that is upon us now, a time led by our deepest and most sacred desires. Arthur and I agreed that we would feel into and write a new sacred oath for the reemergence of the round table that is in alignment with what is true now.

I may look calm on the outside, but I’m jumping up and down on the inside.

Rhodes, a huge thank you for this! Merlin, thank you for the magic spell that opens these portals. Andy, thank you for keeping it fun. Animalea, whom I trust will be talking to us very soon, thank you for the sacred feminine keys to find our way back to the always unfolding alive masculine.

Metatron, I feel to ask you to close out today, if you will. What’s stirring in you?

Metatron: Thank you, Raphael. Thank you, Arthur. There’s a whole lot of gratitude flowing today, and it feels so right, given what we are being given.

I need to pause a moment to see what I shall say. Sometimes the moment needs few words, or even none at all.

I do feel to backlight what is happening here with these words, if you will bear with me. What is happening here today is a taking responsibility for the multidimensionality that we each have; accepting and acknowledging it. Then we are moving beyond that acknowledgement to feel what it is that we are doing with that multidimensionality. Being in a higher frequency, does not mean it is automatically a more benevolent frequency. Many times, we find that the higher dimensions are as equally stuck in unresolved conflict as they are in your more familiar 3D. Hearts and souls at all dimensional frequencies are in need of awakening to The All that love is.

The Demiurge himself is a higher vibrational being. We could not gain access to him without opening out our multidimensionality. Beyond that, however, we need to open our hearts to the love ambassadorship that wants to flow from us, if we desire to be a channel of real change. This doesn’t mean trying to have exchange without boundaries, as if in some misapplied idea of unconditional love. We are feeling through what our conditions are, and how we can face the Demiurge, while respecting the law of free will that exists for every piece of consciousness in the multiverse. Each piece of consciousness is a piece of love returning to love, in an expanded way from what it was at the outset of its journey. The Demiurge itself is one such piece of consciousness that is all contained by love. Accepting this, we are then invited into where our own power lies; into our own choice points; into the power of own free will. It all begins and ends with us.

This is what I feel rumbling inside of Arthur, and my god, what a rumble. It’s time a real kingdom of real power arose in men’s hearts, not ‘power over’, but ‘power with’.

Any more words than that, Raphael, would miss the mark I fear.

Raphael: Okay, I’m going to pause it here then and let all this digest. This party is getting started in here. Stay tuned all.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.

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