By Jelelle Awen
I am emerging slowly out of an intense quiet….a time of deep immersion in nature, living in a tent within a river valley on the edge of vast wilderness in a camp with my beloveds. Inward focus overcame outward expressions, along with focus on the present NOW and real rather than the virtual. In these last few months of summer here in Northern Portugal, I felt a rest from sharing, serving and writing that allowed me to respond to deeper layers of digestion and integration that needed me. When I checked in with my guides/soul aspects/the Divine, I was guided over and over to “just rest and fill UP again with Divine love.”
For the last five years, I have been posting my teachings/channelings almost every day on social media and on my blog, working on a book of some sort, doing 1:1 healing sessions with women, co-hosting near weekly group calls, co-leading and being in our small SoulFullHeart community, etc. This outward service has felt so often like a JOY, inspired by a Divine flow rooted in my love for the Divine. So much passion expression came out of me in answer to what I feel strongly IS my purpose here.
Yet, also, it has been challenging to serve and share during this time of bifurcation, Matrix collapse, and False Light dominance over spirituality, especially in the last couple of years with the C narrative and V. grid. I could feel there were increasingly parts of me holding trauma from being WITH so much trauma in others over the years in session space and group calls, offering a heart and soul bridge to them as I was called to do and be, and also from receiving sometimes harsh projections and energetic kicks from others. Also, I would share with others as soon as I received love/guidance/light from the Divine….and this outward pouring needed to pause so that I could fill up again.
There was a soul pattern within me of sacrificial service to others as a False God piece that I am still working through, a long thread of it within my soul and many lifetimes as High Priestess, Oracle, Wise Woman, Nun, Rebellion Leader, etc. There was also some unworthiness and feeling of failure, of ‘not being right with God’, if I didn’t express outwardly in this way and draw others or when completions would happen with others too. These pieces feel like they are clearing up now with the time and space I have bridged to them. Receiving compassionate forgiveness from the Divine for myself and to then extend to others is allowing a NEW way to relate to service that doesn’t hold grudges, guilt, karmic compensation or other unworthiness based energies.
Gaia held the space for these inner reclamations…the steady sound of Her waters flowing over rocks filling my ear chakras for all these weeks, allowing for a deep cellular purging and cleansing. Her fresh air constantly penetrating my lungs, opening up my heart space as necessary mourning/grief/sadness moved through. Her tree canopies surrounded me with prana energy that gave life to the places that were tired, fragile, or needing it. She reminded me of the New Earth template that She holds ready for humanity when we emerge out of our Dark Night.We are moving on now from this natural nest that has held us and into a beautiful home together as a community in Central Portugal for the Fall/Winter.
As I let in this new timeline shift, I feel such gratitude for what I’ve received here, what I’ve let go of here, what has rebooted here, and for what may emerge out of my more cleared soil from within as I leave here. I feel the embers of sharing and service starting to ignite from within again. The forms they will take and the rate/pace and specific offerings are still unknown to me. Yet, I feel the Divine trust in my heart that is always there that the way will be guided, the words inspired, and the intentions pure. And I feel the steady support and goodness of the beloved souls who stayed around during this time of deconstruction when more was unknown than known.
I feel more than before the invitation to BE a lighthouse…a beacon of love and Divine trust to light and guide a way through these increasingly stormy times. I can only true BE that as I am in a place of rest, trust, and overflow from within. From a place of higher anchored light WITHIN the human body, there are possibilities to move out of suffering, out of the false light, and into the genuine and real lap of Divine love.
I look forward to what comes next for me, for you, for humanity, and for the next phases of our Ascension together!
More information about SoulFullHeart at soulfullheart.org.
2 thoughts on “Emerging Out Of Inward Focus: Personal UPdate”
Beautiful! I’m so happy to hear this. Yay for all of it! Congrats on doing what is called for in each moment.
I’ve been traveling in an RV for three months, a lifestyle that is so much more in connection with gorgeous Gaia, and has gifted me uninterrupted time to integrate the new ways of being.
I can share so much about how in tune this lifestyle is but now I’ve been called to a much greater initiation that has me a little shaky… I’m realizing I will have virtually none of the “props” I’ve had as I make my way to Africa for a number of months. No dog or son or RV with my favorite kombucha and soap, you know? Am dry fasting now to prepare. Leave in late October and will be thinking of you… I believe it was Anna channeling that began the awakening in me of my connection with some peoples and places.
Wow, Shelly, what a life shift and journey you have been on! I so get it about living in an RV and what it opens up…I feel it as a ‘shelter fast’…meaning, taking a fast/detox from ‘easy’ shelter and houses in order to more connect with the shelter that Gaia provides and the shelter within. The journey to Africa feels amazing, must be a past life/other lifetime connection there, yes? The cradle of humanity 🙂 Love, Jelelle