The Velveteen Rabbit Within Us All

Digesting a lot in the aftermath of completion. My heart and consciousness still calibrating to a new reality post-marriage. There are ghost-like sensations throughout the day, things that I would normally have responded to are no longer there. It is a bit of a emotive and cognitive dissonance yet that is the very thing that lands me back into me.

Me.

Who is that even? I am beginning to become aware of who I was and which parts of me were in response to all of the relationship dynamics. I do feel a core self that has been there but the degree to which “he” showed up is still in question. That is the current process. Taking stock of where “I” was and who this “I” even is.

It is not so much existential or judgmental as it is curious with compassion. That is what allows the shadow to come out and be seen and felt. Just hanging outside the cave entrance and letting it know that I am here to be a friend and a caring advocate. Not a punisher or a hunter looking for extradition.

When we go through emotional times like this it can be so easy for a part of us to go into “fix it” mode or into the blame/shame game. Instead there is an opportunity here for us to get to some tender and profound understandings of what make us who we ARE and who we want to be going forward. This makes all our experiences sacred and meaningful. We get to come in contact with aspects of ourselves that are deep need of love and forgiveness.

Through this experience I will find something that may not look “good” or feel good, but if my Higher Heart is leading the way I can guarantee I will find something that will be real and that is what any of us can hope to aspire to. Just ask the Velveteen Rabbit.

******

Advertisements

INtimacy over INvisibility

By Raianna Shai

I haven’t written a post in a while as a lot has been shifting and growing in my world. A couple of weeks ago Kalayna and I spent a few days on Salt Spring and just this week we all spent time camping in Goldstream.

One theme that has been popping up a lot for myself as well as my entire community is intimacy in relationships. I have always had this tendency and even desire inside of me to be invisible. I was incredibly shy as a child, I never rose my hand in class, I chose to blend in for any social interaction. I had absolutely no desire to be seen or more vulnerably, to be judged by others.

It’s easy to get into a “mode” in every relationship in your life and it doesn’t take long to establish, even with new people. We find what frequency is most comfortable and what allows us to get along with this other person. What gets hard is when something gets triggered or rubs against something inside of us.

I have found that most people either push away their reactions towards others, judging them as unfair or just not worth it, or they push their reactions on others, without feeling what the impact might be or what’s going on inside of them. Both of these strategies allow us to hide, to put away the deeper and more vulnerable parts of us that go against the already agreed upon frequency that you have established in the relationship.

Parts of me fear that my truth will either end the relationship or deepen it. Both risking being seen for more than my persona. Going against the grain of what is comfortable in relationship is exactly what intimacy is all about.

You tell your truth, as messy as it gets, until one day you are transparent in every moment. Until you have no fear locking you into place and all of your words come from love for yourself and love for other. Until you trust that losing a relationship is okay and deepening a relationship is okay too. Until you are so centred inside of yourself that no level of intimacy can scare you away. Even when fear comes up there is progress and honesty about it all. That is when community can flourish and become something new and never done before.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

You Have What You Need For Your Higher Timeline/Self

By Kalayna Solais

Everything you need to leverage you into your Higher Timeline and Higher Self/You is right in front of you.

It can feel like grabbing hold of a pull-up bar when you don’t realize you have the strength yet to hoist yourself up and onto it.

And then you do. And you realize that everything you’ve been through up until now is what’s giving you the strength to muscle your way up, aligned with heart, breath, body, and soul.

And you realize… that everything and everyone you’ve BEEN, every part of you that has led your life in ways both obvious and underground, has also brought you to this place. This chance to take a leap and fly.

The choice now is yours. If you’re ready now to sacredly sprout and grow your own wings with the support and love of the Divine and Star Family too… releasing any expectations that someone will lend or hand you their own and trusting that yours will be ready when you are.

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Healing Heartbreak Guided Meditation: ‘Discover’ Vlog Series With Kalayna Solais

By Kalayna Solais

I decided to create a video about healing heartbreak through parts work/the SoulFullHeart process, highlighting how it has been helping me and offering a guided meditation to help you connect to the part of you that is the most heartbroken right now (if you’re going through your own mourning process). I share openly though not in great detail yet (I’ll do more of that in another video and in some future blogs, I think) about what I’ve been processing around my recent completion of a Sacred Union romance.

I focus more on the healing of heartbreak when a relationship completes, yet this meditation can apply if a beloved in your life has passed. It’s all about connecting within and letting in the support and LOVE you’re surrounded by through guides, the Divine, your Higher Self, and even life and love themselves in order to move through the pain in all of its many layers and waves.

There are SO many dynamics moving inside of you at all times and it does sometimes take phases of big life changes in order to stir the pot and help you deeply feel what’s been going on this whole time. I’ve found it so helpful and empowering to take everything I’ve been moving through in my life back inward to process it all with parts of me… even and especially when this feels challenging to do or take space to do.

With much love,

Kalayna Solais

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

July’s Energies Unsentimentally (Though Lovingly) Moving Us To NEW Timelines

By Kalayna Solais

Energy Update: So this morning I finally managed to spill tea ALL over my laptop… sigh! What is normally such a carefully placed (and essential for getting up and teaching online SO early in the morning) item was spontaneously dropped, complete butterfingers, out of my hand and directly onto my beloved computer.

Thankfully I can work through my iPad and it was unscathed somehow in this storm of hot flying tea.

What was interesting about this was what was offered last night when in meditation before bed.

I was offered that these July energies have the potential to feel “unforgiving”. Not unloving, yet they can feel unforgiving or perhaps it’s better to say “unsentimental” in showing us and parts of us exactly what needs to be taken care of or let go of.

In my case, of course there’s the relationship I am continuing to let go of, but now also my laptop which was bought used in Mexico and actually hadn’t been doing that well lately… I had been taking care of it as best I could, yet it still had the energy of an old timeline of poverty, lack, and the energy of hiding that I had been in somewhat when living in Mexico for four years. Just being back in Canada since November has been SO catalytic for me and for the others in my community here. It’s been both phenomenally easy to be here and challenging at times too with many deep processes coming up and ripples through all of us as we deepen our relationship to ourselves and each other.

The ‘black moon’ at the end of this month, in addition to what I’ve heard is a super intense phase of many planets going retrograde, means that we are being asked to take some leaps into new timelines for ourselves. These leaps are not expected to be easy. The need to ground into ourselves, our bodies, our hearts, is big right now. Grounding in by feeling parts of you in reaction to what’s coming up is important and helpful.

More on what I mean by ‘parts’ here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

2019 has been intense and somewhat rough in many ways. Even with Disclosure taking place more in ways long expected and hoped for, we are being shown ripples that can only get bigger and reach farther, including inside of all of us. Embracing your inner disclosure by feeling what has been in shadow is something beyond helpful right now and will help ease you into all of the outer changes coming in.

For more direct support of whatever you’re navigating through, 1:1 sessions are available with myself or other SoulFullHeart Facilitators: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Being In My Personal ‘Intertidal Zone’

By Kalayna Solais

Spending some time with myself and my parts today, taking in the ocean and sunshine from Father Sun, walking amongst the trees, looking for owls (didn’t see one today but now I know where I can find them!), and just BEing… it’s been a ride this past month, what with the completion with Gabriel and becoming another ‘year’ older, which in this case feels like a year of deep rebirth that is only just beginning as so many phases inside of me seem to be ending.

We celebrated my ‘birthday’ last night as a community, making a delicious vegan dinner together and enjoying the time spent even though it’s understandably bittersweet for Gabriel and me at this time. I received gifts I did NOT expect even though part of me has been VERY vocal about wanting a few things lately, especially a new glass water bottle with a rose quartz in it to charge the water, and a big, beautiful tapestry that I can’t wait to find a home for as I settle into the room Gabriel will be vacating when he moves out at the end of the month.

Yeah… bittersweet. Goodness and sadness. Letting in and letting go.

Sometimes it feels as if I’m living like a starfish in an intertidal zone. Learning to breathe and live with the waves, the grief, the openings within and with others, the feeling of ALL possibilities in ALL areas of my life that seem to be offering new doors to open and walk through…

Well, isn’t this what’s true for all of us as Ascension waves move through, ignite us and activate us, then invite us to take space to integrate, to feel, to re-orient back inside after a phase of serving or grounding on the outside? Sometimes parts of you may feel a bit dried out by having to find a way through another layer of 3D conditioning or even 4D growing pains. Sometimes you may feel drenched by tidal waves of LOVE pouring in in ways you weren’t expecting or maybe even ready for. It’s all a part of the birth contractions of the NEW… what we came here to embody and inhabit on a deep level inside of us and with each other.

With much LOVE from my awakening and healing heart-space to yours… ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Secret: Feel The Parts, THEN Manifest

By Raianna Shai

**TLDR; I’m starting a project of reading all of the most popular spiritual books that I hear of to learn about what others are taking in so that I can share my own personal take on them. In “The Secret” I resonate with the idea of manifestation and our capacity to draw whatever it is we want. However, I believe that you have to feel the blocks that are in the way and the parts of you that don’t feel your power. They have very good reasons to feel this way and shouldn’t be bypassed in this process.**

I grew up in a spiritual household for a good portion of my life. The sweet scent of incense, the soothing sound of meditation music, a mother and step father that would talk about their spiritual and emotional explorations. But to be honest, I wasn’t all that into is as something to deeply explore myself as a teenager.

By the time I chose to try SoulFullHeart with my family I still hadn’t had a phase of spiritual exploration that most young people have when newly awakening. Because of this I really just have the SoulFullHeart lens that, while it resonates on every level so far, isn’t something that most people know about. Especially people my own age.

So I decided that in order to truly understand spiritual people my age, I could start by reading the most popular books from the classics to the more modern takes on spirituality. I really want to dive into the heart of someone who has a buffet of spiritual beliefs to dive into and figure out how I feel about it myself. So the next time someone brings up “The Power of Now”, I can have something to digest about it.

————————————————————————————————

The first book I’ve chosen to dive into is “The Secret”. I first saw this documentary on Netflix and tried to watch but couldn’t quite get into it. It felt a bit dramatic to be honest and it energized this feeling that this is something that has been taken away from us to remove our power and make us feel like we can’t change every fiber of our daily lives. I do agree that there is a veil in place that stands in the way of the ultimate capacity of our beings, but I also feel that we chose this and that a big part of why we’re here is to heal enough to dissolve this veil.

For those of you who haven’t read this book, the secret they are referencing is the Law of Attraction. It says that like attracts like – which means that whatever you think is attracted to you. If you think that you are poor, you will be. If you think that you are rich, you will be.

My first reaction from a part of me was that this seems very oversimplified. I feel that we have chosen certain circumstances and while we have the choice to heal them or not, some things are just meant to happen whether we think high vibe thoughts or not.

However, I do resonate with the idea that once we find our absolute joy and become more of our higher selves we will draw and manifest just about anything we want to. I definitely believe in the power of intention and the energy of the universe. I also really like that it encourages you to have gratitude for what you have NOW as a part of it all. Gratitude is such an important part of manifesting something new. Where my feelings differ though are how to get there.

“The Secret” mentions a lot about replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. While that’s a nice sentiment I think it takes something different and some hard inner work for everyone to get to this positive and joyful place. For me, it is parts work and the process we do in SoulFullHeart. For someone else it might be breathwork or shamanism. I feel that if you can get deep enough inside of yourself to reach the parts of you that don’t believe in your power or joy, then it is a fast track to feeling exactly that.

I think it’s a very empowering and expanding practice to picture and energize exactly what you want in your life. It sends a message out to the universe and it will manifest for you. Not thinking of the how or when but knowing that you can have it. But it’s also empowering to feel the parts of you that just don’t believe, that feel like they’ll never get what they want. Without first feeling your blocks to manifestation with love and trust, you will have a harder time manifesting anything. These parts have valid reasons for feeling the way they do and I really don’t believe they should be bypassed.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Completing Our Sacred Union Romance

By Gabriel & Kalayna Solais

From Gabriel ~ 

This is a hard post to write for many reasons. It signals the completion of something that has been a big part of my journey the past six years so there is mourning. It opens up to the vulnerability of what is real and moving for me in transparency. All of this is held with Love and Grace.

Recently I felt a need for Kalayna and I to take some physical space to feel into some deeper layers that have been some core issues between us for some time. We had been having a hard time connecting on a deeper level and could feel some much needed heart exploring and feeling to get to a root of something.

The fear was always that we could wind up finding out what has been eluding us that may not be reconcilable. Something baked in our dynamic that had a time stamp. We have been down this road a few times and eventually we needed to complete to go back into our own processes. Each time though we came back with new awareness and foundations.

However, this time we have had to admit through deep tears and some frustrations, that this romance needs to complete for its last time. The last chapter of a volume that comprises our larger story. It was not an easy choice to make considering we did just get married. I knew that there were things we had to go into but I wanted to do that while wed to her, because that is how I saw her. That is how I wanted to remember what we had. That she was my wife. My partner. My beloved mate in this wild ride of ascension.

The reasons run deep and wide. We have many differences between us that are hard to reconcile. In our solo processes and sessions with Jelelle and Raphael, we realized that what we have is meant in a different context. One that doesn’t have romantic ties but ties that run deep nevertheless. I have found that I need a space to access more of who I am to myself and in intimacy. I have work to do just as any other ascending human man. Kalayna came to a very similar conclusion for herself.

So many timelines and stories have needed to collapse and complete so that I can open up more to the Love that wants to occur from me to me, me to the Divine, and me to Other. This is an ebb and flow of clarity and tears. I hold this just as sacred as when I got married. This time I am marrying/integrating more of myself that had been put aside in the name of the Usness that just wasn’t meant to be in this way.

In all of this, the one thing that has always held firm and true is that my love for Kalayna is real. So much so that I need to let go so that she can arise and draw what her deepest heart needs. The same is true from her to me. This death and rebirth is a part of what we signed up for and it has been one of the biggest ones to date for me.

Thank you for taking this in to your heart and holding it with reverence. I will answer any questions you may have. I appreciate all the love and support you gave us during our time together and feel blessed to have been a recipient of it. I feel held in all of this by Divine Love. There is no one else I could have walked this out the way we have at this time then Kalayna. Thank you so much Kalayna for everything you were, are, and will continue to be.

From Kalayna ~

It’s been 6 years.

6 years of friendship, of off-and-on romance, of deep connections together on all levels: soul, heart, body, and mind.

And now something so sacred to us both is deeply completing.

We have navigated life together in so many different ways and phases… we’ve pressed forward into plans, launched ourselves into the unknown, met new parts of ourselves and each other, felt new Metasoul aspects of ourselves that are connected to one another and some that aren’t or don’t seem to be too. I’ve grown so much because of being with this amazing man… and the recent choice to become ‘married’ and to deepen in Sacred Union really gave me the gift of a longtime wish I had inside to marry HIM specifically. The fulfillment of a dream, truly. And I couldn’t have asked for a better man to have been my first true, deep, resonant love.

It’s been about a month now of process within myself while taking space from the relationship and altogether separating from Gabriel. I’ve been feeling what the tendrils were that parts of me had with him and so much of that is still unfolding.

It’s been very tender and raw to feel, but it’s time to complete our marriage, our coupleship, our 6 year cycle of going IN together in different ways, always wondering about being together romantically, ‘completing’ romantic phases without them feeling really complete. Now it feels like the romance actually IS complete. I’m realizing and letting in that the ground we’ve had together, though made and built upon with SO much deep resonance and goodness on ALL levels, is a ground that isn’t nourishing in the deeper ways we both would need for it to continue, the way I need it to be to continue…. I’m seeing how in our time spent apart recently, I’ve had more self-discoveries happen inside of myself than I did in much of our romance together, at a new depth that I had forgotten in some ways was possible and also needed personally.

You can imagine how profound and emotional this whole process of letting go of this relationship has been for my heart and soul. So many of you have taken in videos, writings, live streams with us co-leading and I’m still so grateful I got to do that with him. We even recently led a few in-person meditation circles here in Victoria and that was alive and nurturing too, a new taste of my own leadership and my leadership with a mate too (another lifelong dream of mine that still remains and likely always will). I’ve been really feeling it and really letting in the mega timeline shift this has been and how needed this is right now through the tears, the mourning, the frustrations and even the resentments towards him that surface sometimes in parts/Metasoul aspects of mine.

In this whole process I’ve felt wrecked, hopeful, despairing, and then newly alive as I feel some emerging possibilities for myself outside of our bond in service, in personal healing, in future possibilities for my life in all areas. I’ve felt parts of me that don’t want to leave this relationship or complete it, and then felt ME coming up in a new way to be with what’s real and to feel what really does need to complete here for my sake and his. It’s time to come home to ME in a new way…

There’s nothing in me that doesn’t want to be connected to Gabriel somehow… and we both know so well the ground of sacred friendship that we can and DO have together. In some ways, these transaction grounds on a friendship level are just easier for us with so many gaps between us in life and soul experience that just aren’t as bridgeable in a romance as parts of me were hoping they would be.

The promise of Sacred Union is that you will grow… not that you will stay together romantically forever, especially if the bond cannot be kept alive and lively, renewing and rebooting. This has been our experience in the last 6 years of knowing each other and being together in different ways for different phases, and it feels like this last phase of romantic exploration HAS been the deepest we could go in this lifetime while in Sacred Union together.

I knew when we got married recently, that this was a step I needed and wanted to take with him, no matter how long it would last. In a sense it actually feels like we’ve been married for as many as 10 years, let alone just a few months, especially with all of the new realizations coming through that could only really be coming through because of the ground and history I’ve experienced with him. My process is calling me to keep moving forward and onward, as sad as it still feels to be moving on without him by my side…

I so welcome any questions or comments you may have…

Much love to you all… thank you for being a Sacred part of our journey.

****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s Facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, emoto-spiritual teacher, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess. 

Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Feeling & Being Felt Clears The Way To Your New Reality

By Kalayna Solais

The heart space clears as tears fill the chambers that were once closed off and sealed.

Sometimes giving yourself space to cry, to just let out what’s been pent up or buried for so long, is the deepest gift.

Frustrations need space to come out from parts of you who feel they’ve been used and neglected, who’ve needed to be incredibly walled-off and protected from a world that has seemed quite heartless and cruel in their experience of it.

To be able to trust another with these tears as they hold space for you to have them is powerful… to be felt deeply and tenderly by another who is qualified to hold this space by their capacity to hold space for themselves and who hold a NEW legacy from their own space-holders who have felt them deeply too.

It can take a long time to trust this shared heart space and there are so many very good reasons why this has been true.

The new sense of what it means to be empathic and to feel another, walking with them on their way to healing as they become more and more empowered to hold that space for themselves too… and eventually others… this is what makes the journey of refining who you are as a ‘healer’ in this world worth it and the journey of serving love that constantly challenges you to keep serving and receiving love from yourself, from the Divine, to yourself, worth it.

I’ve been moved so many times by those I’ve held space for and it always helps me find movements within too. To me, the part of serving love that fills me up the most is to hold and offer the energies I give myself and also receive from those I love and trust. Feeling the love move through and from me to someone in a session, helping their cup fill back up again, is not only rewarding but always clears my heart space out too, making room for me to feel whatever is next for me to feel for myself and my own parts/Metasoul.

And so is the new INvitation to heart-led, vulnerable leadership and healership too… so is the journey into 5D/Golden Earth reality. Though the road can seem long and winding, we ARE in this together, and we are moving upward with every sober yet alive step inward…

And every vulnerable, aching tear our parts are willing to feel as what hasn’t been that reality moves more and more out of our fields and current reality.

~

I would love to serve you in session space if what I’m describing resonates for you! My beloveds are available as well… http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Eclipse Brings Stillness And Activation

By Gabriel Solais

The Sun activates. He penetrates. He gets us outside and into movement. We are showered with his powerful codes. This can be a lot to let in. We may feel over-saturated with these sacred Love streams.

The Moon offers us a reprieve. A moment of stillness and reflection. An opportunity to play “catch up” with our selves. Our scattered pieces that are waiting to be picked up and brought back to wholeness. She gives us the space to integrate and see things with more clarity. She invites us to walk into the Next with a more grounded footing, rather than feeling like we are stumbling at times.

This is gift the Eclipse can offer us today. We can choose something new to step into. Let go of the things that no longer serve the longer term arch of our higher timeline and the Presence of this Now. It is a galactically fleeting moment but a profound one if we choose it to be.

Set your intentions, desires, and dreams on High today. Offer them up to the Galactic Dance and see what comes on its way back to your heart, body, and soul.

 

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.