The Important Process Of Sharing Your Truth

by Kasha Rokshana

So many times you’ve forgotten that your truth is important. 

It doesn’t actually matter if your truth is ‘right’ or ‘correct’ based on facts, figures, or socially accepted assumptions. It also doesn’t matter if it’s the truth of a wounded part of you projecting shadows onto those around you. Whatever is true, feels true, or could be true for you and any part or soul aspect needs to be shared some way, somehow.

We deny ourselves the real virtue of being messy and coming out the other side with more understanding about ourselves and others, and a deepening capacity to feel ourselves and others when we shut ourselves down. Getting to the real heart of your real truth takes digging and flowing inward yet also outward, expressing what you need to when you need to, whether or not it feels rational or even very ‘loving’.

It’s in our most controversial moments at times, our most fiery outbursts, that we reclaim ourselves and our own realities while inviting others into it too. At the same time, if we can keep our hearts open, the realities and truths of others then get invited out onto the same dance floor. 

We invite others to feel us while we open our hearts to feel them. This is intimacy.

This is why intimacy is scary… the mirrors we offer are also offered back to us. 

I am SO wary of any ‘spiritual teacher’ that doesn’t invite in true intimacy with self and others in this way. You’ll never fully be shorn of shadow, nor would striving for that be particularly healthy on any level. You think we would be in this intense shadow dance with the rest of humanity at this time if it was possible, truly possible, to be 100% virtuous and enlightened beyond the need for any more mirrors and inner deep dives? 

I don’t feel you would be here if that were the case. 

I feel like I’m on a very deep journey personally, of showing up with my fire in tow and not mincing words unless a sense of genuine compassion asks me to be more tactful or even careful. Without my fire, the desire to be truly compassionate dies, however. Or at the very least, it isn’t quite allowed to breathe and be where it’s at. My care doesn’t get to come out and offer a balm and my own Divine Mother channel doesn’t get to become truly activated.

Denying myself my own fire doesn’t do me any good, and it doesn’t serve others either. I might ruffle feathers along the way, yet my heart is still in the space. I have emotional range and porosity at the same time as spiritual expansiveness. There’s no reason in my heart or mind that I can think of to avoid this because now there are new mirrors to take in of not only what I need to feel and look at next within myself, but also mirrors of my bigness. 

This is what I feel inspired to share because I desire to inspire others. Let your truth out and sort it out as you go. There’s often a great cost and also a deadness that results when you don’t bother, when you sacrifice your truth for the sake of false light and love and dare I say, ‘tolerance’. Who the hell wants to be only tolerated anyways? And why would that ever be enough on either end of that equation?

As a sensitive and empathic soul, I’ve struggled to share my truth (not saying it is THE truth, yet sharing it out loud anyways) out of ‘not wanting to hurt anyone’, yet what I’ve learned through serving and also in my own intimate connections recently is that none of us are truly able to deepen our relationship with ourselves or each other without being real. 

It’s uncomfortable to be real in a world that has told you over and over again NOT to be and to be compliant with whatever is ‘accepted’ instead. Even spirituality has told us all not to be real… or that to be really real is to share misery only.

In the realness of sharing our fire and our hearts, our bombs and our balms, we invite in a powerful humanly spiritual experience that connects us so deeply to our souls. 

May you walk in realness and love today and always… 

Burning up what needs to be burned up with love.

And cleaning up whatever needs aftercare in the aftermath. 

Love,

Kasha 

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Healing The Inner Punisher-Shame Dynamic Within You

By Jelelle Awen

In sessions with women recently, the Punisher-shame dynamic has been coming up for feeling and healing as it is illuminated in the loving and safe healing field that we create together. It can be SUCH an ingrained and deep dynamic that is largely unconscious and ‘off the radar’ for most people, even those awakening for quite awhile. It can create an ongoing sense that life is hopeless, heavy, confusing, bleak, and without consistent inner/outer movement.

There is ongoing suffering looping that happens when the Inner Punisher part of you is continually criticizing/putting down/creating doubt in other parts of you that respond in shame reactions, usually the Inner Child and Inner Teenager. This punishment/shame loop is an effective way of keeping you safe from moving into your soul bigness, risking hurt/rejection, and is a way to ‘match’ the punishing frequencies around you so that they do less harm. Many Inner Punishers over the years have confessed to me that creating this inner punishment/shame dynamic is the only way to survive it happening on the outside with others (usually caregivers/parents.)

I have discovered that it is one of the MAIN ways that Protector and Punisher parts keep us safe and is actually done out of an intense love for you (even though it can feel anything but loving). It is also a necessary acclimation to the Matrix reality, which runs hugely on polarized energies of judgement of self and others. The Matrix is about division, separation, and push-pull frequencies, so we are programmed and conditioned to them from birth, in addition to our social, educational, and family systems often energizing these frequencies as well.

In the SoulFullHeart process during sessions, we connect with your Inner Protector and eventually your Inner Punisher to create a feeling-based compassionate bridge to them. As you more deeply embody your Divine Self through the process, you are able to truly come to love this part of yourself and understand/feel WHY it has been creating this punishment-shame cycles within you. This allows the Punisher to relax into its TRUE essence of humble discernment and truth telling with love. Also, your Divine Self becomes loving parent to your inner child/teenager, and the Inner Punisher can relax into that as well and stop shaming them, allowing their natural joy, magic, and innocence to express more.

Many healers/teachers also operate from an unconscious ‘fusion’ with their Inner Punisher, which can create ongoing shame loops in their clients/followers. They are sharing truths yet there is a shaming frequency in them that leaves a residue for those receiving them. Usually they have not worked with and connected to the punisher/shame energies within them in a conscious way or unplugged from the judgement Matrix either. This is part of the False Light Matrix in spirituality that can keep it ‘capped’ in polarized energies and abuse cycles between teachers and followers.

I had a very strong Punisher-shame dynamic within me that took a conscious focus over the years to heal, including working with an Inner Mother/Punisher aspect for awhile. I was very self conscious with large amounts of self doubt and ‘drew’ Punishers on the outside to be in relationship with and as my teachers. I now experience little to no self judgement of myself and others in the charged frequencies that I once did, can share my truth/gifts without self consciousness, plus I am surrounded by others and in relationship with a mate who lovingly accept/see/get me. It can be challenging to love these Punishing parts of ourselves, yet with support and some necessary separation/differientation, they can transform to become very beloved aspects of ourselves.

Another Punisher/Shame dynamic can be from the False feminine punisher aspect that we call “Ursula”, named after the evil sea witch character in the Little Mermaid movie. Ursula is hugely plugged into the Matrix, energizing hijacked false feminine/evil queen energies, competitive, jealous, possessive, and very difficult to separate from unless consciously connected to. Through more Divine Self embodiment and connection with Divine Mother, she is able to unplug from the Matrix and express her unique and powerful energies of the Divine Feminine, plus open up more soul access/activation for you.

If you’d like to dive into these grounds in a deep yet gentle way, 1:1 sessions with me or another SoulFullHeart Facilitator are 90 minutes over zoom and start at $77 USD, yet we are open to negotiation around that rate, especially if you are wanting to meet more regularly (which we recommend.) We offer a free 30-45 minute intro session beforehand to discuss with you about the process, answer any questions you may have, and give you a sense of who to meet with and where we would go in a session. I meet with women, as does Kasha….Gabriel and Raphael meet with women and men. There is more info about sessions and each of us at soulfullheart.org/sessions. PM me if interested or email through soulfullfullheart.org.

Here is a meditation to connect with the Punisher-Shame dynamic within you:

Here is a meditation and more teaching about your Inner Ursula with Kasha and I:

I share much more about the False Light Matrix and Inner Punisher in my book Free To Be 5D, available as an audio, ebook, print and PDF editions with links at soulfullheart.org/books

With much love and direct/conscious connection with these aspects, you can experience much more love and compassion for yourself and others….along with healthy discernment, passionate truth telling, soul gift embodiment/expression and loving boundary setting.

Love,

Jelelle Awen

How Some ‘Spiritual Truths’ Dull Divine Passion & Personal Soul Truth

By Kasha Rokshana

So many popular ‘spiritual truths’ feel so empty and tinny to me, and they can sometimes be used by parts of you to quell your genuine passion and divine fire. They become such dull platitudes and yet they are revered and held as THE irrefutable Truth for so many souls.

There are so many different ‘truths’ that indeed ARE true in different ways, yet just like affirmations, they can so easily be used in a manipulative way that also dulls intuition and raw instinct within yourself and others. It’s about how they are related to, not about the words themselves…

Taking the “high road” that some of these sayings offer really isn’t as interesting to me as going into the messy road, the one that has brambles and needs some bush-whacking, for that is where realness is and also some very catalytic Divine energies. It’s not that being elevated enough to see the bigger picture isn’t important, but sometimes it’s the grind and grist that leads us to our deepest growth AND our truest exit from the need for grist to appear in the same way.

These ‘truths’ which are so often hijacked by the false light matrix, can be used to gaslight, to divert attention away from a need to actually own what’s rumbling in yourself or another, to keep you from dropping into a realization about a shadow play-out that’s been happening in your life or your spiritual healing/writing offerings.

And, they do anything BUT support you to go into more intimacy grounds within yourself, to truly cultivate and embody your Divine Self, and in that same way they do not support a deepening intimacy ground with others built with true compassion and love.

On my own awakening and Ascension journey, I haven’t personally been drawn to very many of them or the leaders/teachers who spout them off and justify the abuse they dole out through them. Yet, I also feel in my heart why some souls would be drawn and even ignore any intuitions they may have about them, especially if this to them is what love is or must be and it sure seems much more alive than what they’ve endured in the past.

There are so many I could highlight today, yet I’ve chosen just a few to share about that seem to really show up a lot.

“If you’re triggered by me, it’s not about me, it’s all about you”.

While this is true to some degree, this so often gets used to divert away from your own accountability, the mirror of your own shadow showing up. Even though you may have innocently triggered someone, sometimes there is still room to own your own side of things, to see and feel someone in their trigger, and discern if this is a reflection you truly need at this time or not. None of us are perfect, and we DO get to choose whose opinions and reflections of us we value the most, yet there is so much data in all of our triggers for ourselves and our relationships to absolutely everything and everyone.

Also, where is the heartfelt care in saying this to someone that you supposedly DO care about?

“Make sure you heal before you enter in romantic relationship so you don’t project your wounding onto your partner.”

Rare is the soul who is fully done with projecting. It is so challenging at times to be the receiver of projections and sometimes, again, we can innocently trigger someone into this ground, yet this is ALL a sacred part of our exploration of deeper intimacy with others. Sometimes parts of us HAVE to project in order to see and feel themselves from a different light. Without allowing each other to have ‘stuff’ we are working when in relationship, we have missed the point of even going into it in the first place.

In the past it was hard for a time for parts of me to get that we have this permission inside to get messy with others or to let them get messy with me without any true ‘winner’ in the situation, without anyone needing to be ‘wrong’ or ‘right’, and without anyone needing to pretend to be perfect and have it all together. Yet what gets me through the pretense and old conditioning around conflict, is the reminder that we’re all in this together, we’re all imperfect, and if we can at least hold a common ground of doing deep inner work and wanting the mirrors that true intimacy offers us, then we will be just fine and heal in ways we never imagined possible.

And here’s one more which has recently been on my radar: “It doesn’t matter if someone steals or takes credit for your writings or creations made in the service of love. It never truly belonged to you anyways”.

If you have created something from the fires of your inner work, your passion, your hard-earned Divine access inside and out, and someone takes credit for that who has absolutely NOT done the same work you have and may actually be using your words/creations to seduce and create their own platform and following (something many ‘leaders’ do, unfortunately)… why would that be considered ‘ok’? If you genuinely feel unattached, I would say there’s a missing Divine passion in you that some part of you is afraid of and concerned about what it could do if untethered.

Advocacy and reasonable self-defence are not separate from Divine passion. You can keep your heart open, refrain from getting nasty, and stand solidly in your truth all at the same time. I’ve done it, my beloveds have done it, it’s possible and it’s accessible. It also shows that instead of trying to control your emotions, which aren’t ultimately controllable, you are willing to explore what is actually happening in this scenario from all angles possible.

“What’s the lesson I need to learn here?”

Whenever I hear someone say this, I immediately feel an Inner Punisher playing disciplinarian inside of them. It can feel so harsh to say this to yourself or to have a beloved ‘teacher’ say this to you. It takes the humanity out of the equation or worse, tries to discipline your humanity and make it bad or wrong or off or even ‘not ascended enough’.

I don’t feel that the vast majority of ‘teachers’ out there are even remotely qualified enough to ask such questions or make such judgements of you or anyone else, but that’s another piece I’ll share more about soon…

When something goes sideways in my own life, I don’t ask myself if there’s a ‘lesson’ to learn because I’m not in school anymore. What I do is look into the mirror that’s been offered and ask my parts/aspects, “what do I need to feel in myself that’s been off my radar but that I couldn’t see without this situation?” Even with this question sometimes I’ve had to feel a shame spiral my parts have fallen into… yet grounding it back into them and feeling where that comes from helps so much, as well as feeling the situation from as many angles as possible, truly ‘milking’ it for my growth and inner reconciliation while inviting the Divine in to support and love me through it, and then moving on. Nothing will help you move on the way real love does and that is always, without any doubt in my heart, seeded first within.

There’s such an important discernment that is being asked of us in spirituality and beyond. It’s as simple as asking questions about what is truly real, what your heart and intuition both tell you is possible, and feeling how the Divine is guiding you in every moment… whether this means you are able to ‘follow the crowd’ and wherever the current fanfare is around this or that ‘truth’ or ‘teacher’, or if you’d rather stay in your own lane for a while, feel it all out from deep within, and continue to find your own empowered connection to yourself and the Divine.

This has been such an important place to go for me personally and I imagine that we have all struggled at times to find our way to what’s pure, true, good, and loving amidst all of the din.

If my truth stirs or inspires your own in some way, please do be in touch and if you’re curious about 1:1 sessions with me (for women), we can meet for a free intro call to talk about the SoulFullHeart process and community and if it might be a fit for you at this time: soulfullheart.org/sessions

Love,
Kasha

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Celebrating Pre-50th Birthday W/Beloveds

By Jelelle Awen

After quite a full day of responding to the responses to my post yesterday, welcoming dozens of new followers and friends to my page, setting up some intros and sessions…I THEN got to go to a pre- 50th birthday celebration party with my beloveds!

My birthday is actually next Wednesday, June 1st, but we celebrated early as a group because Raphael and I will be out of town on vacation next week to visit the coastal town of Nazere, Portugal. We haven’t been to the ocean since October, so we are def looking forward to taking in the negative ions and ocean codes there, plus just spending some sacred time alone together to bond and connect. Nazere has the highest and biggest waves in the world, although not this time of year!

It was so lovely to be honored last night by such an intimate circle of souls who resonate and know me SO well. Every gift, whether material or not, was just so perfect. My daughter Raianna Shai made me one of her stunning macrame creations that I proudly put on immediately! Bey Magdalene gave me a beautiful pashima scarf and other sweet items.

The highlight was Gabriel and Kasha singing me a song that they wrote about me! My goodness that was a lot to let in, I cried through most of it and then felt a flood of love afterwards as well. Letting in, breathing, letting in, crying some more to let in.

I really feel like I am rebirthing into a New me, esp with this ongoing fasting that I am doing that seems to be purifying my whole being and opening my heart up quite wide. Cellular cleansing and rewiring is going on, along with necessary detox too as my body upgrades.

I feel truly blessed and grateful for my life and those beings in it! And for YOU too, taking in these words and images, and celebrating along with me! ❤

Love,

Jelelle Awen

Info about sessions, online community, writing/books at soulfullheart.org.

Moving Beyond Fear-Based ‘Tolerance’ Of Dissonance During Awakenings & Growth

by Kasha Rokshana

“Tolerance” is really such a terrible word. I don’t particularly like it. Because it makes parts of us feel like they are obliged to let things go that really they shouldn’t have to. It’s one of the most misinformed tenants of modern society. Tolerance is not compassion or understanding, let alone love, and it actually typically comes from fear, especially the fear of you yourself not being ‘tolerated’ let alone actually felt or understood.

If you find yourself tolerating a dead marriage, a dead relationship to birth family, a dead connection to your livelihood, rather than seeking and humbly taking risks for the sake of aliveness, then you’re likely in a place of having been coached, told, conditioned into feeling like as long as you’re tolerating these dead things, you’re ‘doing something right’ and dare I say, even reaching the carrot of ‘enlightenment’.

No one is entitled to your tolerance, not even the parts of you that ask for it. Just as people on the outside of you basically tell you ‘don’t look over here, you have to accept me as I AM’, parts of you can do that too. They don’t want you to see their manipulative strategies or ways of controlling the people in your life that you don’t resonate with so that they don’t have to experience real and true growth and what actually COULD become possible in ALL of your relationships.

Tolerance becomes intolerance, sometimes quickly, as awakenings happen and these awakenings lead quickly to depression and anxiety when this intolerance is not honoured or felt. You are changing. And if you’re a big soul, you’ve likely felt how quickly you change and shift at times and are oftentimes tiptoeing around your relationships rather than letting your awakenings truly ride with you into a new life phase.

Death and rebirth is always a part of awakening, whether it’s the kind of death and rebirth that is very, very dark for a time or the kind that is actually much easier to move through. I can assure you though, that if parts of you still buy the 3D Matrix or New Age Spirituality Matrix shit of ‘you have to find a way to make this work because that’s what real love does’, then you are in for more difficulty, not less, whether it manifests in physical illness, emotional waves you fall under rather than feel able to come to terms with (note, I didn’t say ‘control’), or a feeling of existential crisis that keeps growing until parts of you can no longer stuff it down.

Awakening, truly expanding into your heart and soul and letting them lead, is not about tolerating anything or anyone. Yet, as this intolerance is felt and honoured, true compassion can be felt as well as authentic passion. You change, and even if the people around you can’t, you are empowered to navigate your way through that and find new people to be around, even if you need a phase of being ‘alone’ (which is never alone, truly, for the Divine is ALWAYS there and sometimes it takes the lonely feelings to actually drop into Its arms at last).

If you truly have a penchant for your deepest growth, you’ll find a way to feel what you’ve been allowing that actually doesn’t feel good to you. Our gut honesty is what brings us the most growth and the most Divine alignment, even in all its messiness and absolute dearth of glamour. There is NO such thing as an ‘ugly cry’, especially when what you’re feeling is the grief of what perhaps once worked, what once was beautiful and resonant, and you’re feeling into letting it go for the sake of all involved…

I love you. Keep feeling. Keep moving beyond tolerance and you WILL find your truth, whether you end up needing to move into deep life change right away or not. Your awakenings will deepen and your experience of your soul will too, even in all of the waves of exquisite sadness, necessary rage, and openings into bittersweet bliss.

Love,
Kasha

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

What Do You Long For?

What do you long for?

What is seeking redemption, truth, forgiveness, and love?

What is it that you truly want to feel coursing through your veins when you wake up in the morning?

Who are you really and what the hell are you doing here?

These are the penetrative questions that rumble the status quo of our current emotional and spiritual consciousness. I am being asked those questions of myself as I feel and heal old patterns within me that have taken me to the next leg of my inner quest and leadership.

When you feel like you begin to cycle on something, you have hit a ceiling. Actually, it is more like a membrane. It is not solid in reality. It only appears that way to a part of you that holds resistance to what lies on the other side. This ‘ceiling’ is actually the floor to the next level, the next chapter, of your ever-evolving growth and remembrance.

What you come to at that moment is a precipice. In front of you is a void that has no apparent stone to step on because a part of you afraid of what happens if there is nothing there to catch you. This has been a repeated part of my journey that is seeking an end. One where vulnerability, risk, and the fear of what occurs on the other side get to create the very steps that have appeared lacking yet there all along.

This suffering ceiling is what brought me to SoulFullHeart. It is what inspired me to say no more to what clearly was not working in my life at that time. It is what is inviting me to go to my next places, next steps that send me to higher heights, along with the fears of falling. There is a moment when you have to decide when the cycles end and the real loving begins. I ask again:

What do you long for?

What is seeking redemption, truth, forgiveness, and love?

What is it that you truly want to feel coursing in your veins when you wake up in the morning?

Who are you really and what the hell are you doing here?

The answers to those questions only come from going into your heart with curiosity, a mirror, and a guide. Wherever you find it, chose it and claim it one choice at a time. Your soul is ready as your heart may waver. That wavering is a universe of parts that have a lot to say and be held in. Feel them and you create a whole new world from the inside out. I offer my heart in service to that exploration of all that you are meant to be.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Causes Of Inner Work & Ascension ‘Burnout’

by Kasha Rokshana

It’s not uncommon to hear about how burnt-out, frustrated, and DONE people feel when it comes to their own Ascension and awakening journeys. There are so many things that can make someone feel this way and there are different ways to look at why this is happening, from the inside out. 

Join Kasha as she launches into a discussion about what’s in her heart about this topic/obstacle and what the factors may be that have led up to it. She offers her sense of how being inundated with ‘spiritual teachings’ and mandates around ‘do this, not that!‘ can play a role in making parts of you feel overwhelmed and ready to give up. Also, many offerings don’t seem to truly give you handrails and active support, let alone heart warmth, and also can blow you/parts of you out (sometimes even on purpose) with over-confrontation and an outside-in orientation to healing that does nothing to empower you to hold your own process. Kasha offers that while confrontation may be necessary at times, peak experiences or intense ‘retreats’ can actually traumatize your parts/Metasoul aspects more so than offer true healing, integration, and a sense of who you truly are.

Kasha goes into more details about all of this and more surrounding what may or may not be your specific circumstances around feeling ‘burned out’ on your personal journey. This is just the tip of the iceberg too, as really this is such a big topic to dive into and is really so personal to everyone who feels it.

Here is a guided meditation to help you connect with your Gatekeeper: https://youtu.be/bGqTeeaYpwc

For more information about the SoulFullHeart quantum healing process, Jelelle Awen’s latest book Free To Be 5D, videos, and events, visit https://www.soulfullheart.org.

We also invite you to join us for affordable membership on our private, online community SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks for sharing, asking questions, and connecting with others: https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co/feed

For more information about a free intro call to find out more about 1:1 sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, visit http://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

The Virtues Of Virtual Community: An Update On Our Online Social Platform

I am very excited with what almost feels like a manic high, but also feels grounded into a bunch of heart and soul journey coming together into a nexus point that’s been tempered with many lows.
I wanted to share this post with our audience here on Facebook which I also shared in our private online Mighty Network group yesterday called The Soulfullheart Portal. https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

Jelelle, myself and Gabriel and Kasha got together the day before yesterday to discuss and feel together more about how we’d like to approach and give structure to the Soulfullheart Portal and online community we’re creating.

One of the pieces I’ve been feeling is the invitation to lead with transparency as we go, invite your input, rather than create some big program that we think will be what people want and will respond to, launching that, and then being with the result which is often less than we hoped for, and quite possibly underwhelming for members as well. I so welcome your thoughts in the comments below.
It’s so interesting to feel deeper into who it is that would be drawn to the SFH Portal, and to me in the moment, I’m particularly feeling the lone wolf energy in people who know what they don’t want, what they can’t resonate with, and how that can feel like most everything that’s being offered out there. They’re left with a lot of despair to try and live life with. I know that from my own experience.

I also know that anything that is driven by a lot of hype and salesy energy, only feeds that despair, and yuck inside. Add that to the ever so rapidly changing world we find ourselves in and that’s a supersized side of despair with that yuckburger!
What we are seeing as a collective is the whole internet is rumbling around the ideas of ‘creators creating content and building audience’ from which to leverage something, usually money, to the missing community, real community, where real needs get met and real connections are made, meaningful connections.

How many people would like to toss their devices and laptop for the sheer boredom of the thing, but feel trapped to do life without the need to be online. Online with what? OK, maybe that’s not one or the other, but I bet you know what I’m talking about. How many have bailed on Facebook for instance?

Jelelle and I are feeling to do a livestream and talk openly about these pieces soon, but asking your input and telling you what we’re thinking in the meantime felt good too.Here’s a couple specifics of what we’re seeing and learning:

We’re seeing that having a paid community, as in a monthly subscription makes for way higher engagement over a free community. This is true for communities in general, but seems to be particularly the case for us.

Many have seen our offer to join the free portal as it stands now, they’ve clicked the join button, answered the question, been sent their approval, but haven’t actually joined. So that feels like what’s going on there is about people having a feeling of ‘oh, this could be a good thing’ and click, and then largely forgetting about it. If they do go on to actually join, we see that many members then don’t engage, load a picture of themselves, etc, and their membership is not much more than being a member of many forgotten groups on FB. I don’t mean to be negative, but I do need to look at and feel what doesn’t excite me. And I don’t think it does anything for members that do want a warmer, more engaged, interactive community.

I’ve been that kind of disengaged member myself, which really isn’t a member of anything, but a member of something boring, and depleting like most of the internet for that matter. No judgment on you or I for contributing to that, but the yuck is an opportunity to ask what we really want and why.

So that’s a big one we see, is that a paid subscription is a big part of creating something different. How do you feel about that?

We had been seeing a free portal up till now and then later offering paid community based courses to the membership as a place to rally deeper engagement and as a way to generate income for ourselves, but this is now changing too to seeing and feeling how people don’t really want all the content that course planners create. We have created so much content on our website, blog and youtube channel and engagement there is so small compared to what we want, desire and need. But people don’t want content, they want community is what we are learning. I don’t want content. I want community.

Anyways, there’s lots more energy and emotional transparency to share around this and that feels best to save for more updates soon, but I wanted to ask your input as we go as that would help us continue to sort and evolve.

Mostly, we want a place where people really want to be, where they come alive, where they invite their friends, where they grow and are challenged, where they feel like they’ve entered a NEW world, that they could even justify paying for, exchanging for the goodness. A world of a bunch of content, even really good content (like ours) is NOT that world however. Something different is needed.

Can you feel the itch we are scratching?

Thank god we’re still a tiny group on a new impulse and can sort as we go.

Xo, Raphael 🙂

(Further to this update above is that we have now as of today changed the membership offer from free to $22.22 USD per month. If you’ve been around us long enough to know you’d like to go further in deeper intimacy with us and growing community, please head over to https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co/ and join in. I hold every single member as a sacred gift and an opportunity to share our gifts as well.)

Raphael Awen is a Sacred Masculine Love Ambassador and Co-Creator/Teacher/Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Healing, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group calls, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheart.org

Energy Update: Beltane/Eclipse Opening Karmic Metasoul Timeline Portals In Sacred Union

By Jelelle and Raphael Awen

Energy Update: My goodness, wow, there is a lot to feel and coming up in response to/activated by all these celestial ‘events’ and energies!

For the last two days, I’ve been in a deep karmic ‘tunnel’, feeling, seeing, and experiencing energies from another lifetime heavily overlaid on my own and just BEing with them and the soul aspect who feels them. Allowing lots of tears, physical tiredness and need for rest has been so important, plus lots of processing/sharing time with my mate Raphael too.

This Metasoul aspect of mine (as we call them rather than ‘past life’) is named Lorna, a powerful Avalonian High Priestess who walked away from her position for many reasons in her lifetime, yet mostly to follow the call of her heart in mateship with Raphael’s metasoul aspect ( a Christian king named Lionel). Of course, this union was ‘forbidden’ and they hid in the shadows with their affair….longing for each other yet not able to ‘be together.’ This is a reoccurring theme for Raphael and I over many, many lifetimes and what we came here to heal together this life. The priestess and the king, being in different ‘worlds’ yet our twin/pairbond calling us to connect and heal the separation wound there.

Being able to be together and be in our power/gift expression together is the opportunity we’ve chosen in this life. It is A LOT to let in and even nearly 14 years later, we are still in this process together of inhabiting this.

As is the case in truly non-compartmentalized sacred union in which we are in constant physical/emotional/mental connection together yet also individuating, this invitation to have and be in what we haven’t gotten to be in before brings up all kinds of things to feel such as grief, distrust, insecurity, fear of loss, desire to control/grasp, unworthiness and much more.

During this powerful Beltane/Union passage and supported by the Black Moon eclipse energies (along with the recent planetary alignment and ongoing solar flares), Raphael and I went into this lifetime together (which isn’t in the ‘past’ at all yet occurring in the Quantum Now), dropping into the energies of Lionel and Lorna and facilitated a feeling/bridging to them. They ‘get’ to be together in their lifetime too finally and get to lead together, seeing where that takes them. Their union fortifies and supports the union between Raphael and I too, opening up a gift exchange. Left unfelt, their resistances and fear creates blocks to intimacy and deepening for Raphael and I.

I feel to share this tender process as it is the best example I can offer of the kinds of energies you may be experiencing and emotions too, yet may not always know or feel a ‘way’ to be with them. There is a massive lifting of the veils happening where the previous amnesia we have had about other lifetimes and soul themes is dissolving. Whether you are in sacred union right now or single, your soul is inviting you to heal the separation wounds within you and in your experience in order to move into more union on all levels.

I do love this SoulFullHeart process so very much for what it allows to be opened up and felt in a specific way that also has such depth and possibility to it. If you’d like to hear more about our process recently as a couple and more about SoulFullHeart as well and if it might be a deepening place for you in community and sessions, you can join Raphael and I in a livestream on FB on Beltane, Sunday, May 1st at 5:00pm GMT/12:00pm EDT/9am PDT. The recording will be available on our feeds to watch anytime along with here on this blog and on our SoulFullHeart Experience You Tube Channel.

We also share more about our personal processes and respond to your movements/sharings too on our private online community called the SoulFullHeart Portal….creating a safe community space online to support each other, deepen, challenge, and grow together. You are welcome to join us there for a $22.22 USD monthly membership as an exchange with us: https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co/feed

The energies of the eclipse bring up and out these timelines/lifetimes and it’s HOW we are with them that can make a big difference in our experience and what we can leverage from them. I so love truly being able to dialogue with, feel, and grow with these soul aspects and parts of myself, over years sometimes, and in an ever deepening way. Not just in a one time regression session, yet in a truly relational way that is ongoing.

Healing the separations that create and feed our fear…moving into more union within and together…THIS is why we are here in this life where so much more is possible than ever before!

And Raphael’s comment on this post:

“This must sound like a complete dream to so many, a real dream, but a dream nonetheless, to have this kind of feeling access to other timelines.

It might feel quite ‘attained’, but my personal experience is more about the guts it takes to be willing to feel and digest all there is to feel in these karmic bonds and binds, and how they are expressing in the current of our current. It did take deep process and choice, but for a soul who’s ready to go here, my truth is that you will be surprised how immediate the openings are and how you will be graced and paced by love and the divine to hold it all.

Feeling this pair bond yesterday took me into some deep tunnels of despair feeling Lionel, which resonates so deeply with the despair inside so many men right now. It’s all connected and it’s all asking to be answered.

If you’re feeling that you need to stay on top of things if you’re going to be a resource to others, I’d invite you to think again. We are in this ride together and there are things to feel that feel like hell, and it is through those hells that you get relieved of the pretense of being something you are not and it is through those hells that you get truly empowered to be of useful and profound service for what is at hand now.

There’s lots more shit to come and unless we drop our roles, we’re going to just plain suffer deeper and deeper. If we are ready to go deeper, there is, I’m convinced (much of the time) that there is so much goodness awaiting us. That is not only my hope, but my daily ongoing experience.

I am so glad to be in the resolution of these timelines with you, Jelelle, and all of our discovered Metasouls. I believe that is what all of us are doing one way or another in the long run, it’s just about how much someone is ready to feel now and at what pace that makes the difference in our joy/suffering.

I know there is a TON of divine support to all of us who are willing to feel and heal on this level.”

Much love to you during this illuminating passage!

Jelelle Awen

More info about sessions, online community, events, books/writings at soulfullheart.org.

The Arising Of The May King

The Horned God comes into union with The May Queen. He sets his sights, opens his heart, and commits to the bond through his own need for growth and creation. A powerful and sacred coming together that begins on the inside and extends on the outside.

I did not have much connection to this day in my past, but it as become an increasing profound and beautiful day of honoring the masculine and feminine sacred union as well as our relationship to Mother Gaia and Her gifts of Spring and Summer. It has triggered feelings of inadequacy in my past with Kasha as she has had such a deep experience and relationship to it. Yet, as with all triggers, they are gateways to our deepest fears and rewards.

I can meet the wounded masculine within and hold space for his healing and arising into his own May King. The masculine that can show up to all of the ebbs and flows of the stillness and fire of the Divine Feminine May Queen. The King that can be in his own truth as well as meet his own shadow and vulnerable parts that are still in hiding and integration. This is no small task. It is a life-long journey that is both challenging and rewarding.

I have been fortunate to have been in intimate relationship as well as community to help reflect and mirror both my arising King and wounded man. They are always in orbit of each other and offer both solace and gifts. On this day, honor them both, as well as the feminine within me that has guided me to let in the union I share with my beloved, Kasha. This had to start from the inside from me to me first. I had to feel ready and worthy enough to go into the depths of vulnerable intimacy, as challenging and scary it can be.

I felt to share a poem I wrote years ago as a call to my Queen before I knew that it was Kasha all along. Many Beltane blessings to all both in and out of union:

Come with me, my love
Down the spiral staircase of my heart
Into the garden of my humanity

Bear witness to it succulence
It’s uniqueness
It’s burned and broken places

Come with me, my queen
Along the paths of weathered words
And the trails of new beginnings
Water the wilted with your loving care
Ignite the growth with your fiery passion

Will you follow me into the unknown?
Into the cauldron of our being?
Will you dance with me among the golden lilies
As well as the prickly cactus and forest ablaze?
Will you join with me in the exploration of our sacred sexuality?

The slow caress of my hands
Upon your beautifully sculpted, divinely feminine curves
The electric sparks that leap off our tongues
Setting fire to our chakras one by one
When we reach the gateway of our heavenly union

Will you come with me?
May I come into you?
Into your atmosphere where you shine and fly?
Into your hidden and protected caverns?
The places where few have been allowed to tread
Into your luscious and sacred garden?

I will not pluck your flowers
Or step on your sprawling vines
I will sit patiently for you to join me.
To share with me you tales
Your stories of adventure
….of agony
….of strength
….and weakness

I will etch them into my heart
Weave them into the tapestry of us
Though they belong to you and you alone
They share a sacred place in between you and me

Come with me, by beloved
As far as we both were meant to go
To unravel the mystery of who we were meant to be.

May this May Day open you out to the gifts of this season and these celestial constellations,

*****

If this touches something in you I invite you to consider joining our online community for a more intimate connection between hearts and souls. You can check it out at: soulfullheartportal.mn.co

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.