Loving Yourself Through The Difficult: A Poem

by Kalayna Solais

Sometimes, days are just rough… the seas of life move you in one direction when you thought you were moving in another.

Sometimes, the feelings you feel are just hard to feel… they seem to come out of nowhere, or, if they do come from a known somewhere, they can feel overwhelming.

Sometimes, you are in a phase of darkness, where parts of you feel as if the light will never turn on again… everything they fear happening is happening, and there’s no mantra or affirmation that seems to help you.

Sometimes… 
and eventually, many times over… 
the light turns on from within during these moments and phases. 
You fumble in the dark long enough, then a gentle hand guides you to the light switch. 
And soon you see the gentle hand is your own.

Now, in times to come, you feel the suffering through the pain start to enter your field 
and realize that you can move through it, be with it authentically, 
and find your way to healing, trust, and nourishment from inside.

Nourishment that in all of these times, can never ever leave you.

This is the process of moving onward and UPward from within.

Ascending through the heart and the deep healing of the soul.

This is the process of recognizing that the springtime of love is inside of you, not a Mecca to seek on the outside.

And a time when you see
that nothing ever happens to you
but with you.

This is the great turning point of our Ascension process,
and our maturation as Gaian BEings.

This is not what makes us ‘worth saving’
but what wakes us up to saving, healing, loving ourselves
and then, loving each other. ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 30 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

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The Crucibles And Gifts Of Sacred Union

by Gabriel & Kalayna Solais

It’s in what we see in each other’s eyes. It’s alive in the touches of mutual nourishment and softness. It’s present in the sometimes fervent moments of conflict or advocating for each other or ourselves. We see each other as each other and yet as very different beings too, each with their own path and their own healing crucibles, riding alongside this mutually claimed healing crucible of being in Sacred Union… which we claim for its depth not its length.

A ‘successful marriage’, to us, means a commitment of heart, soul and body that has found all the depth it can in this current lifetime and phase too. It’s not about staying together ‘forever’. It’s about being in this exploration of a deeper bond with each other while feeling all it pushes up and yet helps heal too inside of each of us as individuals.

This is not a perfect process. We engaged in romance on a few occasions so that we could see deeper into ourselves at each turn. The blind spots, the shadow, is revealed in the dance of intimacy. At times they moved us to new places and new ground between each other, and at others they took us to a completion that sent us on a more singular quest of self-understanding and growth. Each one leading us to new awareness and new desires…..sometimes for others and eventually back again.

In this current revolution of our Usness (the bond that lives between each of our sovereign beings), we have chosen to go deeper into this soul pairing. We have felt parts of ourselves that relate to each other’s parts in different ways. Many of our differences and conflicts arise from the meeting of these parts and Metasoul aspects. This is the quantum healing that is possible inside of this kind of conscious union. We are not together to ‘ride it out’, but to go deeper into our growth and soul edges. We both have masculine and feminine parts relating to each other, soul contracts to feel and resolve, lifetimes of joy and pain to integrate together. We have felt our kings and queens, soldiers and maidens, priests and priestesses, and galactic counterparts.

~

Gabriel: The journey of Sacred Union with Other begins with Self. What we feel and see about ourselves is reflected in those we relate to, especially those we are most intimate with. The ache for Other that may reside within is in large part an ache for Self. As a part of this journey with my beloved wife Kalayna, it was a process of falling in love with me. My parts. My parts loving themselves and being loved by me. One big Me love fest. It is that love of self and selves that beacons and draws that which is alive on the inside.

~

Kalayna: When I look at Gabriel, most of the time I can see him on all of these different levels and layers of who he is. Yet, he arises as a mystery to me. Also, there are moments and days where the soul isn’t seen right away, where he is a body in a space shared with my own. These moments though, I’m grateful and happy to say, are few, because of the degree of mutual respect and reverence we have for each other that still continues to deepen.

At the end of the day, I’m grateful for every moment spent with him and every moment that this relationship has helped reflect to me my next places to go inside, even if this is the last day we have together in this romantic bond. I feel my parts pinging off of and interacting with different parts of him in this this-life dance we share. I also feel, especially during love making and moments of deepening together, the other-life dances our souls share, sometimes unbeknownst to us yet ever present somehow. I desire for more depth with him, to venture off into many sunsets with this man, riding this horse called “Sacred Union”, trusting the unfolding of the path we share.

~

Gabriel: We know each other well in some respects, but are a complete mystery in another. Kalayna has continued to arise as a woman and blossoming feminine leader whose scent gets sweeter and succulent each time. Her passion and shadow reflect mine. She activates and triggers what needs to as part of my own growth and response to my own leadership. This has happened both in and out of romance, but this Sacred Union calls something forward that is part of each other’s crucible of Love’s ambassadorship. It is us and more than us at the same time.

~

Kalayna: Love is always here with all of us, inextricably part of us yet also making up our whole being. We cannot be ‘left’ or ‘abandoned’ by it, though the imprint of feeling this way in the trauma of separation from Divine love especially has made it feel to parts of us like sometimes love really does ‘leave’. In past relationships, even in past phases of romance with Gabriel, I’ve felt parts of me cling to him as to a liferaft. I still feel where I need to go with parts of me in their sometimes over-attachment to him and the comfort and natural solace he brings to the relationship, in order to help them find that more with me than with him. This feels so important for any and all relationships in my life actually, and is what the main process is sometimes for me… to keep bringing it all back to me, back inward, to find, cultivate, and nourish the ultimate source of comfort and love there and with the Divine as well.

~

Gabriel: There have been times of complete overwhelm and resistance and other times of ecstasy and bliss. The in-between is what we navigate daily, surfing the realness of heart even if it risks an ‘end’. In reality, there is no end, but rather a moving on place. This is the crucible of my process as a man to be as vulnerable and real as I can and to feel and love the shadows that arise from such a difficult place for a part of me. This is the Real Deal. It is the Big Time. We both signed up for one of the most catalytic experiences in life. True conscious Sacred Union. I am excited and scared as hell at the same time. Who we will be and become are unknown and yet ready to be born. I couldn’t imagine doing it with anyone other than Kalayna.

~

Old ideas and conditioning that say that romance is really supposed to offer a ground of having someone to come home to who will love you unconditionally are still very much alive in our culture and embedded in our hearts and souls too from many different lifetimes of feeling abandoned especially by romantic love. The new sense of Sacred Union though, feels so different… it feels as if it wants to come from the transaction ground between two lovers who are in a mutual healing and maturation space, meaning that this cling to each other for reasons of quelling wounding for a while wants to move into something new, some new ground of relating that is based much more on health rather than dis-ease within. This is the sense of Sacred Union that we commit to with each other now… and we cannot know how deep this will go or how long it will last. Yet, to treasure what we have right now in this moment, even in this moment of writing this piece together, feels important and desired.

Much love to YOU and with YOU as you continue to explore your own journey of these Sacred Union grounds within… and possibly with an Other too, either in this moment or another moment to come. ❤

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

     ***
Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 30 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.



Peak Fear: The Uphill Climb Before The Surrender Into Love

by Kalayna Solais

We are living into a big crescendo right now, especially pushed up by the coming Equinox and this trinity of Supermoons. I keep being offered to call this crescendo ‘Peak Fear’ and that’s certainly what it feels like is happening. We are living into a dark time where the rumble of awakening out of 3D slumber and into lower 4D awarenesses is understandably pushing up fear.

The fear though is not so much coming from a need to fear what’s on the outside and how what’s rumbling in the collective will affect you personally. The fear is actually a reaction to what’s been in your personal shadow and is now coming up to be witnessed, felt, and ultimately loved UP. The fear of seeing timelines/lifetimes where your personal Metasoul has been involved in some of the terrible crimes that are actually quite triggering for you in this moment… yet, it’s surfacing because it’s time to not blame others for the state of the world and to begin taking responsibility, finding forgiveness and love inside so that you can feel compassion for what’s happening outside.

This is not an easy process, to really feel through these darker timelines of which your soul has been a part. Yet, we’re all invited to inhabit this sometimes daunting and heavy task with a pace we’re ready for. It feels like opting to go on journeys via Ayahuasca or Peyote or any other methods of inducing these sort of processes could add to the trauma of suddenly being thrust into these timelines of darkness, yet, if this is something you feel drawn to it may be important to go into it this way. The only piece here is to remember to hold self-love around it and to have a self-loving plan for integration and space for processing what you’ve now unearthed.

This whole process of unearthing and remembering could be much more step-by-step and self-lovingly held and paced if you choose to access your Gatekeeper first, who holds the keys to these alternate and other lifetime realities alive and well in your soul. It’s through getting to know them and negotiating with them that you can begin the descent into your inner cave, unveiling the dark and the light in your personal Metasoul. Here is a guided meditation from Jelelle to help you meet this aspect of you and to start the process of getting to know them too:

I personally have not been drawn to the intensity of plant-induced journeys and have preferred the pace of self-negotiated steps facilitated by an open-hearted other who has also been there. Yet, this is what my soul has gravitated towards with having experienced many lifetimes of these induced journeys for the sake of being an oracle, psychic, etc. and may not be what you actually need at this time.

What we’re intending to heal as a collective cannot be healed by pointing fingers. This method of shaming and blaming hasn’t worked yet in our ‘history’ to genuinely change the world we live in and how it operates. We cannot fire guns (figuratively or literally) and expect to find prolonged, sustainable peace, unless the parts of you that are attached to gunfire being the answer are deeply felt and given the love they so desperately want and need.

We cannot continue to ask world leaders to hold and give us the answers when they themselves haven’t gone inward to find what’s really going on inside of themselves or their own souls. More and more leadership is being invited out from inside of you, starting with leading your own explorations into the shadow that continues to be illuminated by what you’re hearing about, reading about, and reacting to on the outside.

The beautiful thing about all of this, is that we aren’t being asked to do it alone. We aren’t actually being asked to go deep into the desert and suffer for our ‘sins’ or find penitence and to strive for forgiveness from outside of us. We are already forgiven. We are already loved, despite it all, because we have needed to walk all of these timelines out for the sake of discovery, learning, growth, and the path back to the love we’ve come from and simply ARE. Now though… now we have the choice about what we want to do with this information and we can choose to be curious instead of fused to the same reality of Peak Fear we’ve been witnessing and perpetuating in different ways.

Much love to you as you feel into whatever your shadow is illuminating for you… I, myself, am curious too about where this exploration will take me next, for there are ALWAYS gifts to integrate from even the darkest of places we must go within and I trust deeply that I will not be the same person (in a really good way) on the other side of each journey inward.

For more info on connecting with one of us for bridging sessions and facilitation to help you become this love ambassador to your own soul, visit: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 30 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Sacred Romance; Sacred Ceremony

Wow.

What a magical day it was yesterday. The weather could not have been more ideal (well, maybe a tad warmer, but not complaining!). Jelelle and my daughter Raianna wove a stunning tapestry of love for the ceremony with decor and an altar in honor of our Usness. Jelelle’s holding of the space was truly beyond words. Her words invited depth and spirit and could feel the multitude of being and lifetimes in the room with us.

Kalayna was just stunning in her dress and radiated and glowed with the love she came into this world with. I felt rather dapper in my thrift store finds (in full disclosure). We carried the love to the ocean where we felt The Divine grace us with jubilance and fanfare. Raphael spoke eloquently of feeling the mourning as well as the celebration which lets in the poignancy of the sacred moment. We commit ourselves not to its length but to its depth.

We were joined by a new friend to our intimate circle, Annie, as a heart and soul presence that so sweetly took in and reflected our love. Raianna brought us to tears with her words and guitar playing.

We are so blessed with everyone’s love and well-wishes in this new phase in our growth and service of love. We look forward to serving its overflow to the individual and the collective.

Much love back at you all,

Gabriel & Kalayna Solais (pronounced So-lay-is)

It is pronounced Solish in Irish/Scottish but we felt to be phonetic as it is easier. It means light and soul.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Sacred Union Wedding Celebration

by Kalayna Solais

These are the posts I made for the day before, the morning of, and the day after Gabriel and I wed on March 9, 2019. A day with MUCH ‘3’ energy! It was a powerful and poignant day, celebrating cycles of life and the ongoing death and rebirth of all relationship grounds, romantic and otherwise.

Here are the posts with their dates! ❤

~ March 8, 2019 ~

Tomorrow we marry…
Declaring love and desire for depths
Yet untraveled 
Between us.

Beloved Gabriel! 
Joining my soul
Heart and body
With yours 
in this deepening way
Inspires
And drives it all home deeper
That this is what I’ve truly wanted
Earned
And worked for!

I love you! 
And the journey here has been worth every tear… ❤️

~~~

Face-squish snuggles,

melting touches,

roll between bedsheets

of softness,

bellowing and beckoning

heartbeams of sunshine and goodness

among the sticky-hot sweetness.

My head catches up

to my heart’s warmth and wonder

at how we two

so different,

so alike,

came together

to move together as one

yet two

all over again…

Lover of my heart, soul and body,

cherisher of that which I cherish,

my everything claims this,

our space of phases

and movements together,

no matter the length and breadth

of roads we travel side by side.

The light I love in you

holds a lighthouse lamp shining

for the leadership of yours

next to the shining brightness

of my own.

From here we gaze inward,

toward ourselves and each other,

belly-laughing,

dog-sandwich, morning-bed cuddling,

sweet sunset kissing,

and daylight collaborating…

This bridge between us

made of much,

holds the truths of which

we will uncover

as we each agree to the next MORE…

and our flow of love

cascades onward

as we walk hand-in-hand,

together. ❤

~ March 9, 2019 ~

Preparing for this wedding today in ways that honour my heart and parts but also honour the heart and parts of everyone coming, witnessing, feeling us in our next chapter together. This is another cycle of death and rebirth today as much as it is also a celebration of a new beginning unfolding.

I feel a poignancy in my heart today… and amazing to add, as I sit in this nearby coffee shop sipping a morning Matcha latte with my parts in my heart, the song ‘Landslide’ just came on… 💕

I feel a peace and love in my heart yet also the soft rumble of what’s to come… which is largely unknown yet the crucible of growth is real in relationships, no matter how spiritually conscious they are.

The hum of life and love continues to drone on. The invitation into deeper surrender to every twist, turn, arising and unfolding of the path before me and us is very real and sitting across from me in this coffee shop. Every face of the Great Mother and Father too is here in celebration and deep reminder of the next and next moments of deepening growth and healing to come. For myself, for Gabriel, and for all who witness our Union today.

We will share digestions and photographs with all of you later. ❤️

Thank you SO much for ALL of the love, blessings, and well wishes yesterday and always. You are all in our hearts…

Much, much love!

~ March 10, 2019 ~

I am nothing but blown away.

This man has no wallet worth a million dollars
But a heart worth a million kisses
And a soul worth a million explorations
… and then some!

Our day yesterday was magical, wonderful, poignant. It held the reality of beginnings and endings, that one ground has to give way to another eventually in the name of growth, healing, and service. That ‘forever’ on a soul level is one layer infinitely present, yet ‘forever’ on a personal level in this lifetime and others, cannot be promised or granted.

Every single moment of ‘together’ is a treasure. Every single wave of NEW is a gift. Every single ground of exploration is sacred… together and individually.

I love this man, my community here, our greater community of all of you taking this and us and our service of love in, and I look forward to the many expressions of our mutual growth, reflections, and above all, the deepening LOVE shared among us! ❤️

With big big love for all of you! Thank you for the well wishes!

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Love Can Never Be Lost To Trauma

By Raianna Shai

After a traumatic experience, parts of us tend to feel this desire to go back to who we were before the incident. They desire to be blissfully unaware of what is to come, to return to the untainted heart that felt full and content. Or maybe there’s even a desire to return to neutrality and boredom for that feels less painful than where you’re at now.

I asked the Divine that very same question just now in meditation, “When will I return to how I felt and who I was before this all happened?”

I immediately heard a response back saying, “You will never be who you were before any of your life experiences. You will, in fact, be that much closer to love and your true essence. Every human experience you have, whether it feels negative or positive, gives you a closer look at who you really are. A trauma does not take away from love in your heart, for love can never be lost. It can become a story, or it can become learning and growth. It can be lost in the shadow or it can be brought into the light of day to be seen, loved, and healed into something rooted in love. You are always you, nothing can take that away.”

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

333: ‘Divine Align’ Higher Timeline Opportunities, Next Steps INvitation

By Kalayna Colibri

It’s 333 Day today! A powerful time to feel where you truly are right now, to acknowledge yourself for where you’ve been, and to see the illumination of where you’ve yet to go… it’s a day for conscious creativity, to see how your creativity has expressed, and to feel your intentions for your creative flow from now on.

‘Divine Align’ comes to mind and heart right now, but of course this can be much easier said than done… the journey into this alignment is truly one of exploring and refining your integrity, feeling parts of you that are afraid of being vulnerable and truly admitting when they are out of integrity, and being courageous enough to take those steps into the deeper truth of this.

We are creative beings. We can’t stop creating. There are new opportunities to create and recreate starting from inside of us in every single moment. We have infinite choices in this world of infinite possibilities. We are choosing, always, whether or not we are ready to take the next step into our higher timeline and if we are truly ready to align with the Divinity within. I feel reassurance today that there are no setbacks and there’s no way to really go ‘backwards’ even when parts of you feel like they have.

Your Inner Protector may especially feel like they’ve ‘failed’ you, failed their ‘mission’ to protect you from hurt, harm, and even love when love is catalytic and feels like a tidal wave coming in to shake up your entire world. Yet, even this very powerful part of you does not have the ultimate say as to what unfolds for your soul and the bigger picture of your life…

If you’re up for meeting your Protector today and feeling their story with them, here’s a powerful video and guided meditation from Jelelle Awen that you can take in:

I have felt many times with an Inner Masculine part of me, which once expressed as an Inner Protector for me too, this fear of ‘failure’ and have felt very tenderly, with many tears, all the ways in which they feel they’ve ‘failed’ or ultimately let you, or (sometimes especially) ‘God’ down. It’s a relief to them when you can let some air into the room and remind them that they haven’t…

Today, with this ‘333’ Divine alignment of numbers, it’s another invitation to let in Divine love in this way and let this love rumble even your most defended parts of you, to help you shift from fear to love on a deeper level, aligning you with clarities about your personal service-of-love expression if it’s truly time for that, and bringing you a sense of empowerment in your life that may show you an array of choices you’re invited to feel into.

The Divine truly celebrates YOU today and always… and is inviting you, without a doubt, into your next co-creative steps with It as you become ready to deeply embrace them. ❤️

Much love!

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Being In All That The Moment Has To Offer: SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter (Feb 25, 2019)

It’s the release of our weekly Museletter! Offering ALL of our writings, videos, events, healing offerings, and audio blogs for the week. Go read it here!

This week’s Museletter launches with a piece by Raphael Awen, who invites you to feel the difference between striving to ‘be in the moment’ in order to feel better and choosing to ‘be in the moment’ in such a way that allows you to feel everything you’re currently feeling:

What if really being in the moment is more to do with a simple willingness to feel all that is moving through in any given moment …..even if it isn’t peaceful, or centered, or loving? Centered, loving and peaceful can only be real if it begins with an acknowledgment of what it isn’t.

He goes on to highlight how being in this feeling place allows you to become an ambassador of love to all parts of you in each and every moment, allowing them to deeply heal and move out of suffering for good. This is where the most profound life changes stem from, or conversely, if the real pain is not felt, then major and necessary life changes are actually shut down or avoided.

Join us for a meeting at the SoulFullHeart Community House on March 3rd from 1pm to 3pm PST to experience a guided meditation and personal sharing afterwards! We will lead you in a powerful, high vibrational guided meditation to connect to your Higher Self. Your Higher Self is the aspect of your soul that vibrates in a higher vibrational frequency and is available for you to experience, get guidance from, and also embody more and more.

Raphael and Jelelle Awen will be facilitating an in-person group session on March 10th from 10:00am to 5:00pm PST in Victoria, Canada for $111 CAD minimum donation. The group session offers resonant soul community, individual process digestion space, and high-vibration connections.

For more info on these events, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com/events

We have two powerful live stream recordings to share with you this week! Raphael and Jelelle led a live stream during the latest Supermoon, where they shared a guided meditation to connect with the energies and activations coming in and digested their effects plus some new ways to feel everything you could be feeling.

The other live stream was an intro to the ongoing video series that Raphael Awen and Gabriel Heartman are going to be leading together, about healing the wounded masculine and discovering the sacred masculine within for men and women, both. They led a discussion about the ways in which to discover the masculine energies within and feel how the wounded masculine has likely expressed in your life, and offered guided meditation in which you’re invited to connect with your inner wounded masculine, sacred masculine, and Inner Protector too.

There are many new articles and audio recordings for you to take in this week from Jelelle and Raphael, Gabriel, Kalayna Colibri, and Raianna Shai. They all share about the Love Ambassador that you can BEcome to parts of you, energies around you, things rumbling in the collective, your own process, and every single thing you may be feeling.

Raphael, Jelelle, Gabriel, and Kalayna (Kalayna is available to serve women 25 and under) offer 1:1 90min Bridging Sessions to help boost and digest your Ascension process and feel with you what your next steps are towards your highest timeline possibilities. These sessions are available for $55 USD minimum donation per session. More information can be found here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

We love to share our offerings with you and would enjoy receiving whatever heart donation in the form of money you feel that resonates with our offerings. You can go to our donation page for more info on how to donate: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Way of Life! If you’d like to receive these Museletters directly and automatically in your email every week, you can subscribe on our website at: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/writingmuseletters

Check out the latest Museletter here.

Telling Your Truth With Both Strength And Compassion

By Raianna Shai

Telling your truth can be a multi-layered and surprisingly complicated process. It’s rare that we are taught how to truly and lovingly set boundaries, speak honestly, and be vulnerable in our relationships. In order to tell your truth from love rather than fear, there’s a beautiful blend of both the masculine spine and confidence and the feminine heart and compassion.

I’ve been learning a lot about my own process when it comes to telling my truth and I’ve realized how compartmentalized it has been for me. I’ve never been all that confident with telling people how they affect me or what I’m really feeling. I am very open about what is going on in my life but when it comes to anything that could cause conflict, hurt, or harm, part of me avoids it like the plague.

One way that I tell my truth is solely from my unhealed feminine heart. This can be beautiful and soft – but without a more masculine holding of it, it can come out meek and small. This is when I will share how someone made me feel but then follow it up quickly with “but it’s not your fault!”. I have this desperate need in parts of me to make people feel safe and comfortable. But this way of being allows people to think that what I have to say isn’t important. That I don’t need them to see or hear me because it’s my responsibility to take care of it and heal. When sometimes, it really is the other person and their energy that isn’t okay for me.

Wrapping conflict in layers of padding and protection, trying to keep it from exploding or becoming real – this isn’t actually loving to anyone. This hinders rather than supports real growth. Being able to tell someone that something they have said or done hurts you brings you that much closer together. It gives you the opportunity to get to a deeper place around it and actually deepen your bond. It doesn’t have to be something that deeply offends or hurts them, it can actually be a way to show them that you care and that you want MORE of them not less. You just want more of who they really are, not more of the walls or protection that allows them to do or say things that hurt you.

Another way of sharing your truth is through pure, unhealed masculine unsentimentality. This is a powerful part of us that can see the bigger picture and make decisions not based in attachment or codependency. But when I’ve shared my truth from this place alone, I have been able to really hurt another person. It makes people feel judged and small and not cared for at all. It does not allow space for the other person to grow because there is no heart there to really feel them in it. Why would a flower want to bloom in the desert?

Then we look at a blend of these two energies. A part of us that has the spine to make hard decisions that is best for everyone and a loving part of us that can create a compassionate space for hurt to arise, be felt, and potentially move in to something new. Without the heart, there is very little room for anything to shift or change in the way that you want. Without the spine, there are rare moments when the heart is really heard and felt.

I have been feeling the consequences of this compartmentalization lately but I have felt so much gratitude for being able to discover why it’s there inside of me and what was even going on when it happened. Now I can learn and grow from my experiences and offer loving boundaries to anyone I encounter next. These strategies simply came from fear for me. A fear of getting really close to someone, of being seen for who I really am, of shattering an image of perfection, of potentially hurting someone else, and so much more. We all have our reasons for being this way – all we can do is learn, grow, forgive, move on and love as fully as possible!

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Seeing, Feeling, Healing The ‘Past’: Mother Mary Transmission

By Kalayna Colibri

This came through this morning as I connected with Mother Mary… a face of the Divine Mother that is key to helping us become love ambassadors to all parts of us and all beings around us. I felt this for myself, as a way to forgive what has been and move forward into more of what and who I want to be, and I felt to share it, because Mary offers so many beautiful frequencies of love and forgiveness that are so so needed now and always. ❤️

“To you, and all parts and Metasoul Aspects of you:

Starting from a young age in this very lifetime, you’ve only ever done the best you could with what you’ve been consciously and unconsciously taught by birth family, close friends, your pursuit of love and intimacy, and your pursuit of spiritual fulfillment, too.

You’ve been invited to fire-walk through the shadows, the challenging phases of figuring out what was theirs and what is actually yours in your heart and soul and BEing… a necessary and sacred process of death and rebirth, and sometimes a very painful one.

You are forgiven for all expressions of not-love you’ve had to walk out towards yourself and others in this process… beyond ‘forgiven’ actually, as you are infinitely and intimately loved by the Divine that holds you and is within you.

You’ve needed to push, to grapple, to tumble and fall. You’ve needed these messy times of awakening and realizing what you want and don’t want, sometimes without much explanation… sometimes hurting or maybe harming others in the process of feeling and finding your boundaries, or even in the holding on to relationships that are no longer resonant.

You’ve led yourself to this very place you are in now, and if this is not a place of deep fulfillment, you’re invited to feel this, to feel the discomfort, to feel the loneliness, to let all of this alchemize your next steps inward and outward. You’re invited, always, into your next steps, which are always leading you home: to the heart and soul that holds you, and the love that is always surrounding you.

Your next choices are arising now… they are small or they are big, yet the impact is the same. You can choose to feel and be felt, to arise and become real, and you can choose to feel and heal the past so you can live in your new present… the one that will always arise as you do, as you pursue it from inside, as you feel the seeds of what you most truly want being planted in the nourishing soil of feeling and healing.

With much love for you, your journey, and everything inside of you…

Mother Mary ~ “

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.