Energy Update: 11/11 Codes Offer Infinite Love Experience Through Sacred Union

By Jelelle Awen
Energy Update: 11/11 codes are ALIVE already. All codes from Divine Source offer Infinite Love and the receiving of it, becoming of it, reminder of it AS our essence. To align with receiving of these Infinite Love codes is to feel (primarily) the densities, the traumas, the fears, the blocks to becoming this love so that they can transmute and clear.
 
11/11 also offers a preparation for sacred union codes to draw your Divine counterpart mate, deepen your current sacred union, complete unions that aren’t transactable in sacred ground, or illuminate the grounds of your inner sacred union between your inner masculine and your inner feminine. Next month, the Christmas/Winter SOULstice/12/12 codes of Christ Consciousness and Magdalene Consciousness come streaming in.
 
11/11 is our preparation to become these sacred union codes within…healing the polarities that exist inside, the inner relationships between masculine and feminine that have needed to be more polarized and densified (this is the template we received) and are NOW ready to move into more union and balance.
 
In this moment of, yes, afterglow, I am in so much gratitude for the connection ground that I get to experience as an outer sacred union with my beloved Raphael Awen. As captured in the photo below, it was so wonderful to let our Metasoul connection channel through into the present on Halloween/Samhain. We were surprised by how fluidly and naturally it came through after the work we’ve done to integrate and embody these soul energies. This was not just ‘dressing up’ as something, yet rather letting our soul essence shine through.
 
The deepening and richness of our sacred union connection is revealed and exposed over the YEARS, getting better and better actually. Not deadening, yet enlivening. Not flattening, yet enlivening. Not polarizing, yet unionizing. We are moving into deeper embodiment of our King and Queen energies together, beaconing out to others to join our kingdom of heart and soul healing….. and it is SO exciting to feel this grounding into our emotional bodies in a healthy way too! Many lifetimes/timelines are coming together for us in this one!
 
This coming together of many lifetimes into this one is a theme of 11/11 and going into 2020 as well, when so many of the karmic patterns our souls have signed up for finally complete and heal. For many of us, this is our final lifetime to choose a denser 3D reality to incarnate into in order to heal and grow.
 
Our work in SoulFullHeart with the Metasoul aspects opens up bridges to these other lifetimes, allowing for integration, soul gift exchange, and quantum healing of soul trauma. We lift together the previous veils of amnesia to gain quite easy access to the lifetimes that most need your love and attention. This allows for identifying the soul themes and patterns that are playing out in this life and other lifetimes.
 
You are so welcome to join us this Saturday, November 9th to experience these sacred union codes that we live in as a transmission from our hearts to yours. We’ll be tuning into the 11/11 codes and teaching about them, bridging to the crystal bowls to provide their transmissions too, and offering a guided meditation with us as well. More info here about joining us; https://www.facebook.com/events/2595514423846711/
or here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/grouptransmissions
 
Thank you for being on this journey with us into deeper grounds of sacred everything in this exciting time of transition!
 
Love,
Jelelle Awen
We also offer a free 30-45 minute intro call with Raphael or Gabriel Heartman to consult with you about going into 1:1 sessions. More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Connecting With The You Who Can Feel You Reacting

By Raphael Awen

There’s you having a reaction with no one home to feel you having the reaction. You’ve simply become the reaction without awareness or consciousness of the reaction.

Then there’s you observing the you that’s having a reaction. Conscious awareness is being brought to the reaction. An aware you is showing up to take responsibility. That’s a big step ahead in growth for sure, but it’s also fraught with other reactions of a judgment and shame nature; an Inner Punisher showing up on the scene.

THEN, there’s a you who can feel and bring love and awareness to ALL of these states and phases of your consciousness evolution.

This higher self version of you can feel that you came here to have all of these stages, that you as well as your higher self needed this experience of both forgettance and remembrance. We chose a process of forgoing awareness as well as the entire process of returning to, and reigning in, full awareness.

Your reactions, along with your reactions to your reactivity, all the way to loving each and every one of them and especially the part of you having the experience is what you and I came here for.

Because we are both one and individual at the same time, whatever you figure out for yourself in awakening and remembering process is instantly downloaded into the one mind that we all share and made available more and more to those who are ready for and needing the download codes of what it is we are all growing into. This is where all purpose is sourced in. You get to play with whatever passion purpose expression you want to that is unique to you and part of the great remembering that we all share.

What are the big reactions that are moving through your life now?

Can you bring your awareness to them and feel any judgment reactions to the reactions?

Can you then show up with a curious and open heart to feel it all?

Would you be willing to get to intimately know and feel the parts of you that have lived your life as you up till now?

This is the new awakening in spirituality today. It’s no longer about becoming ‘higher frequency’ without getting to know the part of you pushing for the higher frequency attainment. It’s no longer about attainment, but is more about reverence for the entire process; the fusion stage of simply being your reactions; the stage of dawning awareness of your reactions; the stage of cascading reactions to your awareness of your reactions; and then all the way to revering it all as your sacred path and choice – and in that reverence, setting out to become intimate with it all.

I’m in it. You’re in it. We’re all in it.

If I can help you go into your next choice and awareness points, I’d like to invite you to consider a free intro session to the SoulFullHeart process. If you ask for the free intro session, myself or Gabriel Heartman will send you three simple questions to respond to and a short guided meditation to meet your Inner Protector to engage in, and then from there, we’ll set up a time to have the intro together for 30-45 minutes over Zoom. We’ll spend that time together and then from there, you can decide if you’d like to have regular sessions in ongoing process together.

How does that sound?

******

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Anxiety: A Peek Into The SoulFullHeart Process

By Raianna Shai

A couple of nights ago, I experienced anxiety in a way that I hadn’t in quite a long time. One thing that was very different this time was simply my awareness of it. I never totally realized that I had quite a bit of anxiety in the past. I always thought that because it wasn’t inherently debilitating that I was just an overthinker.

But I feel that this experience is quite prevalent in most of us, and is a mix of different relationships between parts of us.

For myself, it felt like my inner child feeling scared of “getting in trouble”. She wants so badly to love, feel joy and play in the beauty of life. But when things happen in my life that are more “adult” and difficult, my Protector will put her out front so that it’s harder for others to get mad at me. Who really wants to yell at a child?

My Inner Protector also has fear, for getting in trouble means he has somehow failed me. So he tends to try and avoid these situations as much as possible in order to protect my other parts such as my inner child.

Then my Inner Punisher comes into play by judging my Inner Child for getting something wrong in the first place. For he’s constantly looking for things that she could improve. When deep down, he really just judges himself for the way he feels he has to be.

All this to say that no matter how bad my anxiety or depression gets, the biggest thing that gets me through and allows me to grow from the situation is feeling the dynamics going on inside.

It’s different for everyone but what’s the same is that all of our parts ultimately want love and to be heard. So if we take the time and space (if we can) to get to know these parts of ourselves then MAYBE we can begin to draw these feelings and situations less and less.

Here is *sort of* a poem I wrote to illustrate the process I had that night!

————————————-

Tears of hopeless frustration

Feeling lost in a sea of emotion

Stomach tense in fear and expectation

Anxiety takes hold with intense ferocity

Sleep is lost to the silence of the night

Tossing and turning with measured repetition

Then I remember the family inside of me

Waiting to be felt

Waiting to be heard and loved

“What can I do for you, my loves?”

“How can I help?”

“I’m scared and just want to have joy”

Says the little one

“I fear failure, that I put you in danger”

Says the fierce protector

“I don’t like this, and I need to to fix it”

Says the punishing voice

“You are all loved, supported and heard”

I say

“You, little one, need not to worry of things in the adult world. You are the joy and love I need to tell my truth with compassion.”

“You, my loving guard, need not to protect the others. I am here now, to hold the space with intention and strength.”

“You, my precious critic, need not to judge yourself or others. You were needed once before, but now you may rest.”

And with that

The child tucked in

The protector at rest

The punisher soothed

I sleep in peace

*****

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Letting Go Of Serving/Community, To Serve, Love, And Commune With Myself

by Kalayna Solais

“The energy released through the act of Confrontation is the resource from which the new self is created. To be sure, it takes great courage to look within, but the universe will not present to you what you are not ready to see… we will never be given a burden greater than our ability to carry.” — from Avalon Within by Jhenah Telyndru

Lately, I’ve been in a process of really diving deep within to confront anything and everything that has been keeping me from leading to my fullest capacity and deeply inhabiting service…. which is also everything that’s been keeping me from ME, from loving myself in a deeper and fuller way, and also loving others in the deep way they deserve without energies of comparison and intense projections of all kinds.

I’ve been having to take space from my community and them from me during this ongoing process… and that also means not facilitating or offering intro calls to others. I’ll also not be leading the SAFE calls for women with Jelelle, like the one tomorrow.

I feel surrendered and sad. Hopeful and remorseful. I’m mourning the old timelines that are collapsing but grateful that it’s time for something new to arise from the ashes. I feel the tenderness, unknown, and even insecurity that comes up in claiming this space for myself but the alchemy and opportunities in this too, to finally uproot and HEAL what’s been allowed to live inside of me for so long, well beyond this life. This is the business of deep soul shadow work and I’m grateful for the degree of trust I have around it, even though it’s so challenging sometimes to hold it all. In moments, it feels like I’m going to implode. But even then… once the waves that feel like they’re going to drown me ebb again, a grace comes through, something bigger than the ‘me’ I’ve been, holding me. And that I’m leaning into as a vital part of my own personal healing and Ascension journey that I can’t put off anymore and that needs my intense sobriety and focus.

I highly recommend having a free 30-45min intro call with Raphael Awen or Gabriel Heartman… both are heart open, wonderful men that can be deeply trusted and they are so ready to show up for you and all parts/Metasoul aspects of you. 

Also, if you are a woman, I very much recommend checking out Jelelle Awen’s SAFE call tomorrow. Even if you can’t make it live, you can purchase the recording. It’s $15 CAD to attend/receive the recording. Jelelle’s energies of Divine Feminine/Mother are gentle yet catalytic and I have benefitted greatly from everything she has ever offered me in session space and beyond.  More info on the event tomorrow here: https://www.facebook.com/events/939184226480490/

Much love to you and with you,
Kalayna

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart facilitant, a healing healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Feeling And Healing The Inner Punisher In Service Of Love

When you are in a profession such as medical, education, business, etc. you are in a constant state of learning the new data, trends, and practices that will keep you up to date and on the leading edge of the field.

As a healer and a light/shadow worker it is very similar. I am in constant ‘professional development’ to better serve myself first and then in overflow to my facilitants/clients. Without me keeping dibs on my emotospiritual needs, I run the risk of a kind of malpractice in a way. This is not a form of shadow hunting, just being keenly aware of what my next steps are.

I came to hold space for a deeper layer of what we call the Inner Punisher. My current facilitants have had this show up for them at the same time, so it felt like a reflection to feel in myself. This is part of the development. Of becoming aware of what we may still be unaware of. The signs are right there in front of us when we are open and willing to see them, even if it feels uncomfortable.

This lead to a deep process with what we also call the Inner Father. These two energies were both merged as I had a lot of early childhood trauma with my biological father. There was a legacy of harshness and rage that had been handed down to the males in my family tree. It can’t help to be transferred from one son to the next. However, for me, this inner critical voice was internalized and expressed as self-punishment.

As I held this as a part of me, an Inner Father that wanted me to be normal and successful, I began to feel the vulnerability set in. I asked many questions to unearth what was at the root of his rage and anxiety. Once we got there, the tears began to flow for all that he felt like he had become as a mirror of my outer father.

He called himself Sarge like a Sergeant in the army. Both my father and grandfather were Marines and this was imprinted in my DNA. It has many Metasoul connections as well. I felt my compassion for him and even offered him forgiveness. That was hard for him to let in.

This is a deep energy that takes time, through rounds of healing and feeling, to get to the core of where the punishment comes from and how it has played out in so many ways. When it is coupled with a mother or father imprint it can pack a lot of energy but also a lot of healing. Our birth families offer us a lot of fodder for growth and transformation.

I have not been in contact with my father for many years. However, I could feel his higher self with me, offering remorse for what he was unable to offer me this life. That lead to another deep healing inside of me. I felt his old energy leave my field and felt a newer one integrate inside of me.

This has been years in the making and I feel a renewed sense of my own Gabrielness for lack of a better term. It is this Gabrielness that is the heart of my Service to Other. It is what lets me upgrade my system in order to let in more Light and Love to hold space and guide with compassion. I offer that space to you as well if you feel the desire to get to the core of this critical energy or any other energy you feel is keeping you in a lowered state of frequency of being. This is the reason I am here and the reason I continue to heal.

Gabriel Heartman
soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

We offer a free 30-45 minute intro call via Zoom to see how the SoulFullHeart process may serve you in your healing and growth. Click the above link for more info or you can PM me. 🙂

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Feeling Manifestation As A Birthing Process And Relieving The Inner Punisher

My last two sessions have been very powerful when it has come to feeling the Inner Punisher. This energy is very intense and heavy when fully activated. Judgement swirls inside from self-to-self (or from our point of view from part to part), and it is outward from self-to-other. The outer circumstance is a reflection of what is happening on the inside.

If this is left unfelt, manifestation works to draw this energy in even more. The Multiverse responds. This punishing/judging energy can be rooted in our early childhood relationships, our Metasoul, and/or the Gatekeeper’s relationship to life and people. When wanting to manifest a particular timeline, this part of us can really wreak chaos internally and externally.

However, when you get to truly become acquainted with it (though it has usually been a more masculine energy in my experience), you stare to get an understanding of how much of your life may have been spent in deep fusion to this part. For many of us, it is not an attractive side of us, but has a TON of gifts!

The Punisher (which sounds scary in and of itself) is really a lamb in wolve’s clothing. There is a soft underbelly to all the barbs and jabs. There is a tenderness that I have felt once we got to feel it more. So much of that judgement is being waged against itself and trying to manifest that which is sitting in your Desire Bank, as well as trying to get the hell out of 3D! That is a lot to hold and feel responsible for.

I offered a lot of compassion and love to these parts, along with my facilitants, and when that happened we could feel how hard that was to let in. They are always in a state of outward or inward judgement mode that they don’t feel safe with being vulnerable. The biggest reason is that they are the most tender and vulnerable of them all.

When this part of you gets to be in relationship, they begin to move more into a role of Discerner. It is non-charged intuitive/opinion place that just sees the forest for the trees. When the charge is removed, manifestation feels a lot less like pulling a rabbit out of a thimble, and more like a birthing process. It takes the Divine time it needs to come into this physical dimension. The Punisher almost becomes like the excited partner along the way, seeing what needs to be done next to let self-love be the mid-wife.

We manifest what we need to heal. We give birth to what we are born to share and serve.

I am giving birth to my heart and soul gift into the world with each of these words. I offer my gift with a free Intro Call into how the SoulFullHeart Process can help to heal your Inner Punisher/Judger/Critic. Check out the website link below for more information.

Together we can help to shift so much of that energy in the world into a force of loving change. First from within your heart and then into the heart of humanity.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Gratitude As A Doorway To Reverence And Abundance

Today is Thanksgiving in Canada. It feels different than in the States. MUCH less collective energy to wade through. It has given me the chance this morning to really tap into Gratitude, Reverence, and Abundance. There are so many things that I felt I could right about this morning but this one felt timely. The full moon energy is wanting to open up something for all of us around these tones. 

Gratitude can be a hard one for us to fully embrace. Parts of us can feel how much there isn’t to be grateful for. To give thanks to the universe might be akin to thanking one’s abuser. Without feeling this very real part of us, the authentic gratitude we do have may be a bit shallow in its depths, if that makes any sense. 

When we can tap into that part, the tender reasons can come to the surface even after all the thrashing. It may appear to be an entitled teenage energy or a despairing Gatekeeper tired of holding all they do across dimensions. What is there to be thankful in that?! Being seen and felt in their pain is what opens the heart to that genuine gratefulness. 

It is feeling all these edges where we get to see how authentic our gratitude is. It is not about gauging the level of our appreciation, but just feeling what is real inside of us. When that has space, Gratitude becomes like a clear, gorgeous sunrise after a very long and stormy night. You see the trees, hear birds, and see the light in a much different way. 

This is what then becomes the benchmark for our authentic gratitude. After my last deep process about a month ago, I see the world through these heart eyes. I feel what I wasn’t truly grateful for. What I had taken for granted inside of me. But now the sun is shining again and I see more than I have in any time before. But I needed to go to this place first.  

I am grateful for the Love I am surrounded by, the soul family I am apart of, and the inner world inside of me that continues to grow and be cultivated. I am grateful to be a healer, a way-shower,  a light/shadow worker, a teacher, an ambassador, and a human being. From this place I am lead to Reverence and ultimately to Abundance (more on those in next posts).  

Thank you to all that have followed my heart and words these past 3 years. Many blessings and real love to each of you. 

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

 

The Process Of Uncovering Gratitude

by Kalayna Solais

Feels strange and yet somehow ‘right’ to have ‘Canadian Thanksgiving’ tomorrow, even though in my life I feel like on a multi-dimensional level, gratitude is continuing to deepen and expand out from me and parts of me at every turn.

This year, I feel like it’s a time to really, soberly, look at, see, FEEL my life as it is and not force my parts into an ‘attitude of gratitude’ but to really feel them in where they might still be tripping over the whole concept of being grateful and why.

I know that inside of me and in my process over the years there’s been a lot of layers of entitlement to feel and heal. I’ve felt though, with each part that’s had this disposition, that underneath the entitlement is a sense of a lack of worthiness. A sense that they won’t get what they want unless they fight for it and ultimately too, a belief that they won’t actually EVER get what they want and that others will instead.

I’m still feeling into what’s truly underneath that meme that’s been ringing and pinging inside for so long and on a soul level too, yet it’s being uncovered with effort and desire to heal it. And, it feels like this ‘Thanksgiving’ celebration day tomorrow helps to bring in some sort of intention around it… around truly and viscerally healing the entitlement that still lingers and moving it into even deeper gratitude than I already feel.

Really feeling our gratitude is actually quite the process. Any bypassing that’s had to be done in order to ‘get there’ actually just buries the parts that feel like they aren’t getting what they want or even what they need, especially from you to you, you to them, parts of you to other parts of you in their relationship with each other.

There’s a lot to feel about this in the collective too of course, and it’s evidenced by our overuse of natural resources, lack of feeling and compassion towards one another and being competitive instead. Even in our domination of animals. Any sort of ‘Thanksgiving’ holiday is really just another reminder to have a look at all of this and how it’s been configured inside of each of us. What IS your personal relationship to gratitude and how does it live in you?

I feel this question as a meditation for myself… and one that I ongoingly want to feel deeply into as I DO have so much to be grateful for, always. And so much that I have earned through personal process, through ‘crawling through glass’, and also, through following with courage what my own soul and heart have wanted more than anything else. In other words… I think the deepest source of gratitude for anything in our lives HAS to be rooted in feeling grateful, ultimately, for our own journeys and where they have had to go, where they are now, and where they seem to be leading.

Much love to you… and if you’re celebrating this weekend… Happy Thanksgiving! 

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

 

Conversation With 10: The Edge Between Clarity And Uncertainty

Today for 10/10/10 I felt to connect with the number Ten as I did last year with number Nine. I always like to feel how these numbers live in me and what they want to impart to me and those that are reading this. It is a fun and more intimate way to derive meaning and personal understanding. I highly recommend it to any of you that are inspired and interested in seeing what it means for you. 

Me: Good morning Ten. I wanted to connect with you today to feel what messages or insights you could offer me and those that are reading this. 

Ten: Good morning to you Gabriel. I am honored to be here. I feel like I am on tour today. Pretty prestigious event. I forgot my coat and top hat at home. 

Me: Lol! I felt the same thing today. You have a lot of fans! 

Ten: I guess so. I try not to let it get to my digits as I have all the others inside of me to give gratitude for this occasion. 

Me: The others inside?

Ten; Yeah. All the other digits that have come before me. They paved the way here. Each one represents a part of the journey of completion and integration. 

Me: Hmmm…I like the feeling of that. I did have quite the conversation with Nine last year and It was feeling how existential being a Nine can be. On the cusp of great change from one digit to two. 

Ten. Oh, my. I can only imagine. It does feel like a lonely place yet full of possibility. I am fortunate enough to have two parts of me. It’s like I get to have sex with myself. 

Me: What?! Um…Ten, this is a family show here. 

Ten: Oh, for goodness sakes. Lighten up Gabriel. It’s all part of the fun! Look, if you look at me I have a lingham and a yoni, right?

Me: I think I just got cancelled. Yes, it certainly does. 

Ten: So I represent the balance and INtegration of all that has come before me. It is like a giant number orgy in here. 

Me: 

Ten: Gabriel?

Me: Sorry, I am just looking at the Want Ads right now. Integration, balance. Yes. Completion. Oh, this just keeps getting thicker and thicker. My agent isn’t returning my calls. Okay, so we are going rogue here now. 

Ten: Yes!!! Going rogue, man! Let’s find our way into a new dimension of possibility! Let’s move beyond the single-track consciousness of this OR that and move into this AND that. In that inclusion you see a much bigger picture and can let yourself have it all, man! I feel like I want to be like Tom Cruise and jump up and down on this sofa here.

Me: Hmmm…not sure about that reference but I get what you are saying. You are excited. You want to do things that are not predictable and yet you are very predictable as the base of our number system. We can rely on you to be constant. What about that?

Ten: You need to smoke some pot, Gabriel. Get loose. Be free, man. I can do both. I can hold the fabric of your mathematics  as well as I can get jiggy with it. 

Me: Okay, who are you and what did you do with the real number Ten?

Ten:  Lol! Look, I want to unshackle from my current role as some perfect number. Fuck that. Let’s go into the Mystic and see where this rabbit hole takes us. Close your eyes and just imagine ones and zeros. Let them rain down upon you and into you. Let them be like sperm and eggs of consciousness seeding possibility, vision, creation, meaning, direction, and completion. Let those little guys help make big changes. It’s all made up, man. All of it. The Joy and the Suffering. I know that is hard to let in but it’s true. It is all part of this crazy ride we are working out together. It’s not all good and it’s not all bad. The question becomes what is it that you truly want from this existence, for all of humanity. Imagine that and birth that baby, man! 

Me: Whoa….I think I took too big of a hit there Ten. I feel what you energizing and it is working its way through me. I can feel how I have had parts of me feeling like they can’t have what they  want because others don’t. There is still suffering in the world and I can’t be in full Joy and Abundance until others are out of it. That is a cycle that just doesn’t end. 

Ten: Now I think I am feeling that bong rip too. Whew! Yeah, there is a way that each of us need to leave an old paradigm behind in order for others to cross that Rubicon. How do you create peace when you are always preparing for war? I think I am going to cry. Seriously. I am not just being a punk. 

Me: I feel you, Ten. That went deep really fast. I want to let digest a bit. Let the smoke clear a bit. I have no idea what you just brought in the room here, but it was like a tornado. I wasn’t expecting that. 

Ten: Awesome. That is my job. To expect the unexpected. To want the unexpected. To open up to possibility through vision, heart, and guidance. Dance on the edge between Clarity and Uncertainty. The One and the Zero. 

Me: I think I need to go eat something now. You up for some granola and berries? 

Ten: Now who the hell is the Hippie here? Nah, man. I’ll take the eggs and bacon. They look like me. Lol! Don’t worry, hippie. It’s all organic and free range. Don’t get me started on factory farming. 

Me: I have no idea what planet I am on. Okay, sounds good. Thanks for being here with me and I am sure I will have network exec at my door soon. 

Ten. Don’t worry, I will handle him

Me:

Ten: Gabriel?

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Vulnerable Sharing From A Moment Of Deep Tears

by Kalayna Solais

Crying in the moment and I can’t 100% track it, what’s going on behind the tears… but, I thought I’d share and see what is coming through my heart in this moment. Take you along with me. 

IMG_3985

Sometimes there is just so much sadness that comes up in me. It’s not always linked to what I’ve gone through or am going through now. It’s not always connected to an inner process.

Sometimes it just IS. And there are so many layers to it… some of them mine, some of them not so much.

The deeper I feel it… the more I feel the sadness of a part of me coming up, but a sadness in my soul in a ‘Cries of the World’ kind of way, too.

My empath has been becoming even more sensitive than ever lately. The sense of needing the same masculinized protection inside has been healing for years. It’s time to have a more exposed, feeling, feminine heart that doesn’t need protection but needs to vulnerably share and deeply feel.

Beginning new things is always something sensitive for the younger, very feminine parts of me that care so much about being liked, being accepted, doing well… and also care SO much about others, about helping others heal, about having resonant relationships where there is genuine care, and about seeing this world we live in becoming more gentle, more open-hearted and caring, more compassionate, and ultimately much, much safer to live and breathe and emote and LOVE in.

There’s still a lingering sadness in my feminine that my last relationship is over. There’s still a way that it’s just HARD to see the growth that couldn’t happen while we were together. And there’s still so much confusion as to why this has been true. I can feel this aspect’s confusion though… her pain around relating to men in general that some of it stems from and how this relates to her relationship to my masculine inside.

When it comes to men, it’s just been SO hard to try and become what she isn’t in order to get loved, feel wanted, and belong to the man’s world. Often this has meant sacrificing something of herself for the sake of the relationship and keeping it kosher. And over the last couple of months of inner process between her and my masculine aspect(s) I’ve become more awakened to how this dynamic has lived inside of me. How he has caretaken something in her which has kept her small and how she has not been able to vulnerably invite him to actually feel her and meet her halfway in any area so that they can feel each other and really, genuinely BE together in collaboration, mutual respect for each other’s bigness, and LOVE.

So there’s that going on in this ‘now’ moment. And it doesn’t need solving or resolving… just more feeling. There’s definitely some other layer of this inner relationship coming up for me to tenderly feel with these aspects, more push-pull towards each other.

Some of the tears aren’t mine, so there’s that layer too. I don’t mind moving the ‘Cries of The World’ through my heart though. I actually feel honoured when I feel them and when I feel others and their genuine pain. This doesn’t plague me or bother me. The ‘Death Doula’ inside of me can be with the mourning and the sadness and even the frustrations. The frustrations through, because I don’t have many of my own anymore, especially in my masculine aspect, quickly move into the more vulnerable feelings of sadness that are beneath them.

Questions of “Why isn’t there more love flow in this world yet and heart warmth too?”; “Why are Disclosure people so intense still and not seeing how any focus on warfare exacerbates the problems instead of moves it all into new territory?”; “Why aren’t more souls choosing to REALLY go inward yet?”

As I feel my heart ask these questions, I know the answer already… “It’s not yet time… but it will be eventually. And the only thing YOU can do is keep going inward, keep feeling, keep sharing, and keep growing and healing, as you also respond to those who ARE ready”.

So, there it all is… different raw layers coming up on this early, EARLY Friday morning. 

I don’t often share this way because it seems to draw caretaking from others sometimes. I’m sharing this today to show how I process, the different layers I feel going on in so many moments of deep feeling, and I trust that what is meant to resonate and support your own process, will. 

Thank you so much for taking this in as you feel to for yourself. 

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Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.