W: Hello Divine Father

DF: Hey Wayne, How are you?

W: Pretty good.

DF: What’s going on?

W: Well, yesterday I prepared an email to an old friend that I haven’t been in contact with for a long time about inviting him to begin reconnecting and to check out our Soulfullheart Community. I had some reactions to that and I’d like to feel them through with you.

DF: Sounds good, Wayne, go ahead.

W: Well, I led with transparency and vulnerability like we talked about. That felt really good. Then, part of me definitely felt how what I am inviting him into is a complete overhaul of his life.

DF: Say more about the reactions?

W: A big reaction for a part of me was feeling how strange we must seem to people. We hold a picture of present and coming collapse of industrial society, and have divested of our reality inside of the money-suburban-industrial world. Also, we live off grid on the ranch here which alone has very few takers, given the ease and luxury of industrial society that is still to be had. Then there is how we relate to each other and ourselves through the picture of parts or sub-selves, and the deep intimacy we share. It all adds up to one big off grid reality.

DF: I so feel how strange this all can feel looking at it through the eyes of others. But tell me, does it feel strange to you?

W: No it doesn’t. It just feels like life as I know it. There have been and are still ongoing adjustments, but it doesn’t feel foreign or strange to me.

DF: Good. I’m glad that you feel that at home inside of you. In one way, Wayne, any leader is a leader because they lead into the strange and unfamiliar. Leaders lead into the gap of between where they have gone and the person they are leading hasn’t. There’s a difference between only seeking a friendship and seeking to lead as well as be in a frienship, and it’s tricky to embrace both.

W: I can so feel, Father, how what I want is both. But what part of me struggles with is: does my leadership and passion for something get in the way of true friendship arising?

DF: Having a deep leadership and passion in your heart and life IS you. You can’t somehow exclude that side of you and be in a friendship. You were feeling that lately how offering yourself as a painter in exchange for money no longer works for you, and rightly so. You outgrew a very comfortable box, and now you can’t fit back in. That was your choice. No one forced that on you. You changed you, irreversibly. That’s scary, no doubt, until all of you catches up with the new reality and deconstructs the trailing conditioning and familiarities of the old reality, but you led this, Wayne, no one else. It may have come to you through the instrumentation of others, but even that was a product of your choices. This is who you are now, and any one that is drawn to you will naturally resonate around the same values as you.

W: What I hear you saying is that I can’t shrink myself to something that I’m not, and I can’t apologize for being that either. In one way, I am selling something, but not with insincere motives. I have the opportunity, if I want it, to be leading something centered in my heart, where I can be so transparent about what I am offering and why I want someone else to embrace it, so in my center, without even a shred of hiding any aspect of what I am offering, what it costs, and the benefits it brings me and them.

DF: So how does that make you feel?

W: It makes me feel empowered. I get to be fully me. That changes everything. Those who don’t resonate won’t take a bunch of my life and theirs to find that out. Those who do resonate will resonate because I was as clearly me as I was, without hiding.

DF: Yeah, man.

W: I wished I could write a song about now.

DF: I know a really good black rapper.

W: Would you talk to him about me?

DF: Sure thing, Man….

There’s a guy called Wayne.

He wanna end the pain,

No fuckin’ around

playin’ facebook pretend

with 5 thousand friends.

 

W: Don’t let me stop you…

DF: Leave it with me, man, leave it with me.

W: Thank you Divine Father. You so help me catch up with myself.

DF: I get that. You’re welcome, man. Sacred you-man.

Wayne Vriend is a co-founder of Soulfullheart Community, healer and author of 90 Days With Yeshua. Visit soulfullheart.com for more information.