Life Transitions, Trust, And Surrender

by Jelelle Awen

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Raphael and I were just digesting how much has changed for us since coming into Puerto Vallarta exactly five months ago. We had about $40 on us with just enough money coming in to live very cheaply for he and I plusLeena Colibri and Sequoia Heartman. Prior to that, we had been living for 19 months in a remote setting, off-grid, limited to no internet connection and our nest egg that we brought with us from Canada to buy land, etc. had been spent six month’s earlier.

Thanks to the efforts of Leena and Sequoia teaching english online, we were able to move to Puerto Vallarta so that all of us could be together in community. For a month, we lived in a space with three rooms, with Leena and Sequoia sharing a bedroom with two twin beds. We got our three bedroom apartment after the first month and at least could all have our own bedrooms. We felt grateful for everything that we had even though it was very little. Living on our ranch, eating what came from our gardens and very simple food, not going to restaurants or movies or shopping…it had taught us to appreciate the very simple things in life and that which matters the most: love and connection.

Eventually, people began to become drawn to SoulFullHeart and having sessions with us, all through connecting here on Facebook. We had only been on FB for about three months prior to that, so it was all very new to us. We didn’t and don’t have a ‘marketing or sales strategy’, we are just ourselves as much as possible – offering a way of life and process that we live as our daily reality within community. I was shocked and stunned in a very good way to begin serving women in session space after letting all of it go in terms of being a ‘teacher’ or ‘facilitator’ and surrendering it to the Divine while I was at the ranch.

Just this last month, through a freelance opportunity for a tech startup, we are earning quite good money (especially for Mexico) plus with facilitation donations and Leena and Sequoia’s pay as teachers. We are now able to afford eating in restaurants, to buy new clothing (after two years of wearing the same things all the time), and for Leena and Sequoia to rent their own separate studio apartments that happen to be in the same building as us! This living arrangement more fits our vision of sharing community space for meals and group circles when desired and for everyone to have their own individual living spaces otherwise.

The Divine has given us so much since coming to the city….abundance in the form of people and, yes, in the form of money. Our desires that had been suppressed somewhat on the ranch are now coming forward for higher quality things that will last over time, not fall apart, and are truly worth the money. We are also now dreaming of buying land in San Sebastian where our SoulFullHeart community may come about, in addition to or in place of the ranch.

So much trust and surrender has been needed over the last few years….willingness to live with very little, ‘give up’ so much of what we thought mattered, only to be shown over and over that when we are not expectant or entitled so much love can come to us and in so many forms! Now, that we are going to visit the ranch again for a few days starting tomorrow, we can check in with who we are now, who we were then, and maybe get some sense of who we will become….although that, of course, is in Divine hands!

* This photo is of the cabana that we built out of cob (clay, sand, water, and straw) and some of our organic gardens on our plot of land called “Tranquila” at the ranch.

Jelelle Awen is co-creator, facilitator, and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.

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