Meeting Your Divine Self – Our Journey From & Back To Source

By  Raphael Awen

The farther we journey from source, the greater is our return to source where we are enabled to experience it for the first time.

This is the homecoming that you and I are now in, even as parts of us feel like the separation is growing.

It’s no longer the separation that’s growing, but rather your awareness of it that is increasing.

This week has been marked for me with another reunion with my Divine Orphan self that was triggered by some arising life circumstances, inviting the conditioned-to-this-life parts of me to feel and see this divine orphan self. I’m finding the beholding of this part again to be so moving and deeply rewarding, that answers the deeper questions at hand about the feelings of separation.

We were all initiated out of divine source into experience itself, and this experience needed to begin with what was not source. All of the fears, anxieties and depression we carry hearken back to our being birthed out of our divine bliss/oneness/source essence.

In this, we all were implanted with a great core wound, a wound that would underlie everything we would come to label as neurosis, things wrong with us. All of our attachments and quarrels within and without stem from this wound. But this pain and burden we carry is not only a wound that hurts, it is also an opening, a portal back, back to our true essence.

Your true essence is not conditioned by the conditionings of fear and lack that were needful for the experience journey. Your essence hasn’t participated here in the hijacked, 3D, matrixed, realm. Your essence remained untouched and protected from all of that.

The godhood you long for, you actually still possess and never lost. You just took on the experience of forgetting and of losing. In experience, you did lose divine connection and it hurts like the hell that it is. In essence though, you never lost a single thing. You are both experience and essence. More correctly, you are essence that took on experience.

You set out not to discover faraway lands, but to leave the land of your origin, so that you could return to it and discover it for the first time. As essence, you couldn’t know or feel or appreciate that essence and bliss. Bliss was left wanting to be known and felt and experienced. It was a risky endeavor, but your soul and the divine’s decided to fund this great discovery journey into reverence, awe and wonder.

As the increasing awareness of this separation rumbles in your life, you feel a fever pitch of everything coming apart at the seams. Everything you’ve worked so hard for to make experiential life bearable or even good comes now at this stage to be found to be not enough. In reaction, you may work harder as I have on gratitude and whatever other host of self-prescriptions to attempt to right your relation-ship with life, only to find they are not at all effective like they were before.

What the hell is happening?

You are beginning the return part of your journey home. You are sailing in the opposite direction. You are returning from where you came and the way you came. The return voyage has been negotiated through many lifetimes and so many experiences and you are ready now, equipped and prepared for the return.

The conditioning of lack and scarcity that you onboarded in your journey into experience is still here, and at times feels strangely and troublingly magnified. But this is all to be expected as you are called to feel and reconcile all the parts of you that are adjusting to returning to source – such a different experience than journeying away from source.

Now, you begin to get a sense of how sacred this forgotten core wound opening is. It is the one thing that would guarantee your return to divine source experientially. Your messed-up-ness is actually your perfection expressing and calling out to you. Each arising pain and ache is an intrinsic part of  the ongoing guidance as you restore to each part of you the pieces of their birthright that they are ready to feel.

Your preferences for pleasure over pain are a key part of your being human and of restoring your humanity with your divinity. You are invited not to bypass them any longer in the name of some kind of medicative spiritual practice. You chose to experience. You chose to want and to need. Those wants and those needs will need to be courageously owned and embraced if this voyage is to be completed successfully and on time (and in time).

As you witness the great fever pitch of insanity unfolding around you, ask yourself if you can think of any greater contribution to such a distress call than that of saving yourself, deeply choosing and embracing your own return journey home.

As you continue your return journey home as one being, you are reminding the oneness that we all are and share of this remembrance journey. Those around you in the forgetting phase will need your example when the time of their remembering comes, just as you needed it from others.

May we each embrace the perfection that we are amidst all that seems and feels so imperfect. May we set up a heart home with a great hearth of the warmth that will allow the fullest remembering.

Raphael Awen

SoulFullHeart.org/sessions

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

The Arising, Authentic, and Sacred Masculine

In my ongoing journey of accessing and embodying my authentic, sacred masculine, I am finding where I have lived in the space between the Wolf and the Lion. The Wolf represents the more instinctual, primal energy, and the Lion the more kingly, leadership aspect. One with bite, the other with roar.

I have been aware of how both of these aspects have been hidden in shadow. A fear of my power and truth that lay within. The authentic, integrated masculine has struggled to arise for many men. There is a resistance to unleashing these aspects for a variety of reasons. When one hears the call of, “where are the real men nowadays?!”, there is a judgement in that somewhere rather than a heartfelt curiosity, both from those asking and from those of us receiving.

Yes, we are all being called to our power and truth, men and women alike. In that calling, we are met with our own personal initiations into the realm of our bigness and presence. We are sent on a quest through the hinterlands of the Shadow and what we have sequestered there until further notice. There is a veil of protection that lies in between. It is the meeting of this layer where we gain access to our most authentic self, rough edges, defensiveness, weaknesses and all.

We can respond to the trumpet of the call to action, and create an image based on someone else’s version of what it means to be a man in today’s volatile world. That may serve a purpose for some. A part of an initiation and growth edge. There is also going into what is real and authentic for you; your own process of self-awareness and empowerment that is not just about the collective but your own soul’s healing, maturation, and purpose on this planet at this time.

These energies are calling me to reconcile my masculine shadow and power as a sacred union mate, a community leader, a healer, and a teacher. These aspects are not separate from each other but integral to one another. They are also not separate from the feminine principle either. Again, integral. It is being held by this sacred feminine that the sacred masculine can arise with the trust that any shadow can and will be addressed with Love and Compassion.

This is my journey. My evolution into embodying and expressing more of what is true for me and not for anyone else. This is what I feel I am being called to live into and serve. To honor and awaken what has been hidden and forsaken in this masculine heart and soul, for myself and for those that it is meant to resonate with.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

SoulFullHeart Museletter: Nov 4, 2021

With the Samhain/Halloween/Day Of The Dead passage moving through, there’s a continued illumination of our shadow selves and other pieces of ourselves, our parts, our essences too that have been hidden or tucked away. This week we share a few writings about shadow exploration and what it invites and involves, plus we have a new group meditation call coming up this Sunday, Nov 7th, focused on Shadow Exploration.

You can find out more about this group call by visiting: soulfullheart.org/grouptransmissions

Featured this week is a writing/transmission from Jelelle. It’s an invitation to your shadow from your Divine Self, to encourage it to come out of hiding and to support it as a sacred part of you and your soul, though it may not have ever been treated that way. Jelelle reads this transmission aloud in the featured video with her and Raphael, where they talk some more about the upcoming Shadow Exploration call and what they will be offering through it from their own explorations and discoveries.

Along with some writings about processing with your own shadow, you will find other digestions of what’s moving in the world, and a sharing from a beloved community member and facilitant, Bey Magdalene! Bey shares about her own SoulFullHeart journey and what she is currently moving through and into as she continues to embrace all parts of her and her soul essence too.

You can subscribe to receive these Museletters in your own email inbox by visiting our website: soulfullheart.org, or scrolling down to the bottom of this issue and clicking ‘subscribe’.

Take in our latest Museltter here.

Much love from all of us!

~ The SoulFullHeart Community

Introducing Bey Magdalene: SoulFullHeart Community Member and Facilitant

A fun and joyful day out in Coimbra, a sweet and lively university town near us

I have been in the orbit and a part of SoulFullHeart for three years now, though I initially calibrated for six months before I had my first session with Jelelle. One day she just showed up on my Facebook and taking in one post after the other, I quickly became convinced she was speaking directly about me and to me at the same time. Over the years I’ve had the unique opportunity and experience of being facilitated by every single Facilitator in SoulFullHeart. It was very clear from the beginning that “this” was “it” for me. I finally found what I had been looking for all my life. In just how many ways that is true, I’m learning now every day as a part of the community in the physical.

Raianna dressed up at Halloween

I joined Jelelle, Raphael, Gabriel, and Kasha to live with them on a campground in northern Portugal at the beginning of August this year. About a month and a half ago, we moved to central Portugal, to quite a remote little village called Folques. While the campground was sort of a ‘honeymoon phase’ and sniffing each other out, the new phase brought a lot of intense initiations for me, inner and outer, which I bravely walked out and am now getting to the other side of. A week and a half ago, Raianna, who has been connected to SoulFullHeart for many years, joined us all here in Portugal too after completing her life in Canada. For Halloween, we dressed up and had a little gathering.

Gabriel & Kasha dressed up for Halloween

The veils are thin right now and for me personally, I particularly feel that in my ongoing process of differentiating from my persona-based ‘Bianca part’, as the current energies push up so much illumination of her and support for me to keep differentiating. For a number of years now I have been doing ‘parts work’ with SoulFullHeart and working with parts of the self. Over the years I have discovered and felt many parts of myself, differentiated from them and integrated them. This has led me to a new and deeper layer of this work, held by the soul family container and the relationship with myself. It has led me to recognize that ‘Bianca’, my birth name, had become a part herself, and a corresponding new energy had been discovered and cultured through all this inner work. This new energy/being is able to hold all parts of myself, soul explorations/metasoul aspects, soul family community, and life choices. I have decided to call this new arising energy, ‘Bey Magdalene’. One version of the name ‘Bianca’, which is Italian and means white/pure/bright light, is ‘Beyonca’ (same pronunciation) and I am feeling to go with the short version of it, Bey (pronounced like ‘bee’) for now and claim it as a transitory name until a soul name comes through. The surname ‘Magdalene’ I have chosen in honor of my soul family origins and connection to the Magdalene/Essene lineage in honor and humble claim of my connection to my beloved Soul Family in SoulFullHeart. It feels important to let go of the entire waveform of my former name as it holds all of the birth family relationships/biography/woundings, social and romantic relationships, job navigations, and life as I have known it really, in order to keep arising into the New.

Priestess energies coming through for Halloween

Differentiating from this persona-based part and everything she has been holding, including her relationship to this life, the process itself, and others, is a deep service to and honoring of me, her, and others too who feel drawn to this work and community as well.

It REALLY is NOT easy to feel everything that is going on inside in every moment, move through it, and come out the other side of it. And sometimes, all we can do is fuse to the emotional world of our parts. Yet ALL of this process is sacred and held, supported and guided by the Soul and the Divine Self, if you choose this path of utmost soul growth and deeply nourishing and resonant soul family community. I am feeling, after all these years of dedicated inner work, a deep trust in this process and myself and that it all is truly perfect as it unfolds and keeps unfolding. And to me, trust in oneself is the hottest currency out there, especially right now in these volatile and intense times.

Much Love,

Bey Magdalene

***

Bey Magdalene is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant and Community Member. For more information on community, videos, group calls, and 1:1 sessions with a SoulFullHeart Facilitator, visit soulfullheart.org.

Surrounded By Love

By  Raphael Awen

We are so surrounded by love, full of love, made of love, that we needed the ongoing experiences of stepping outside of it, and then returning to it, as a way of perfecting perfection.

Love was willing to create a deficiency of itself, a shadow partition to cordon off some of its overbearing light to afford itself; and you and I actual experiences of this love.

We couldn’t experience love were it not for a deficiency of this love. Love couldn’t flow if love was the all in all, filling all things to the full. Flow and experience required a vacuum, something missing. Love ventured into an experiment with experience, for experience was another thing it couldn’t know, feel or have inside it itself.

Every desire, anxiety, joy and fulfillment that moves and shapes your life is part of this vacuum.

Love ventured into the business of lack and harm and wounding because any step outside of itself would require an opening, a portal, a wound.

We live and carry these wounds. They are our greatest challenges. We carry them personally, in our relationships with ourselves, with every other we’ve ever known or will come to know, and we carry them collectively. These portal wounds are everywhere. They not only remind us of our seeming separation from love, but also invite us to return to love at any moment. The access to this love is beyond instantaneous, for not even an instant is required to make its connection. It just is. You are it. You never lost it.

The duality we find ourselves in is the way home. I am, therefore I want. I am, therefore I am vulnerable to not having my genuine needs met or fulfilled. I am, therefore I am afraid. I am, therefore I need.

To not have need is to not exist in this experiment of experience. You get to be needy. You get to admit your vulnerability. You get to feel how deeply you yearn for fulfillment. You get to admit what you like and what you don’t like.

You get to return fully to the love that you are, where all the costs and outstanding liabilities on this balance sheet of duality will be reconciled.

You and I literally are this reconciliation, as well as the separation, both.

Love to you and through you,

Raphael Awen

SoulFullHeart.org

Pic above: Jelelle and I got to enjoy 3 magical sunny days on the coast here in Portugal last week, while making the trip to pick up Raianna Shai from the aeroporto.

Please consider joining us for our intimate and upcoming group call Saturday, November 7th. Sign up info in the comments below.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

SoulFullHeart Museletter: Oct 22, 2021

The season of Samhain/Hallowe’en is upon us and the thin veils are helping us to feel ourselves and our souls anew. There’s no doubt that this time of year can stir up a lot inside of us and also spur us on into a deeper sense of soul purpose and passion too, even if there is a lot to feel in the meantime.

This issue of our Museletter features a NEW guided meditation from Jelelle Awen, featuring an appearance by Mother Mary, whose energies are very active in this small village in Portugal where we are currently living. This meditation helps to relax and soothe the physical and emotional processes that you may be experiencing, partly due to the thin veils, and also due to the ongoing process of awakening and healing that humanity as a whole is going through. It’s truly a balm of love for your heart and soul to take in.

There are some new writings from each of us this week, including energy updates and other sharing that may stir your soul and remind you of the Divine love supporting you. Jelelle also mentions in her recent writing that she is back to offering 1:1 sessions to women over 35.

You can read this most recent issue of our Museletter here.

If you’d like to subscribe to receive our Musletters in your email inbox, you can scroll down to the bottom of the Museletter itself and click on “subscribe”, or you can subscribe on our website, soulfullheart.org.

Lots of love to you!

~ The SoulFullheart Community

What We Think We Own

By  Raphael Awen

When we fight, push and press to own something, that thing possesses us. What was gained by force must be maintained by force.

Nothing can really be owned in this way without it owning us. The energy of the currency we used to buy it, is then the current that flows into our relationship with the thing. We possess the thing and the thing mirrors that possession back to us.

It breaks down and demands maintenance or it refuses to work. It threatens us with being stolen and calls for more time and energy to protect it. It gets neglected and then shames us for spending all that and not using it like we intended too.

How could something be called ours and not be owned in this way?

It begins with realizing that you already possess all things. You are the thing. You can’t actually be separate from anything. The vendor and buyer are playing a game of forgetting, thinking that one can rightfully own something at another’s expense and that this other must pay a ransom to transfer that ownership. Many others join so deeply into the game that it becomes a reality of its own. Thieves, police, prisons, security systems and so much more support this illusory game.

Then there’s realizing that any material thing is in its essence matter. It came from Gaia, our matter/mother. Our mother provides all things necessary freely without price. All matter is mother. Gaia is the original and only rightful owner.

Grasping to own Mother Gaia doesn’t work. It’s like trying to own love. Love can’t be owned, only let in and received. The one who receives her does just that.

And if something came from Gaia which is conscious, then a thing formed and framed from different bits and pieces of Gaia, retains that consciousness.

And consciousness wants to be experienced, known and felt. There’s no such thing as an inanimate object with this deeper awareness of what life and matter is.

All of this invites us into new feelings of reverence and appreciation, feeling how provided for we actually are, how our grasping is a resistance to that infinite and quite scary provision.

It invites us into feeling how ‘things’ want to be held in our open hands and bring their goodness and abundance to us. Things don’t like being passed on from rightful slave owner to rightful slave owner, they want to be free where they can be and express all they are.

Owners become stewards of living things and nothing more, being gifted with the relationship exchange of care, blessing and goodness (god-li-ness, god-like-ness) that the thing brings.

I’d so like to keep experiencing this more and more, letting go of chasing money, chasing things, chasing more spiritual sounding practices of ‘how to attract abundance’, when abundance is trying its best to find a way into my heart and life.

Raphael Awen 💚

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

SoulFullHeart Museletter: Oct 8, 2021

It’s exciting for us to be back in your inboxes with our first Museletter release in a few months! As you’ll read in our writings, we’re all emerging from a time of camping for several months and immersing in the healing energies of Mother Gaia. We have all benefitted greatly from this time of letting go of many aspects of who were, to let in what’s real for each of us now and how we want to serve going forward… which is also still emerging for us.

On that note, featured in this issue of our Museletter is a writing from Raphael which transmits these energies of ‘unfathomable’ Divine love which we have been bathing in and returning to in deeper ways than ever before. We also share this piece as a bridge to the upcoming group meditation call with Raphael and Jelelle this Sunday, Oct 10th. The call will be centred on Divine Love and the messages of this 10/10 portal. There is also a short video invitation from Raphael and Jelelle where they share about what this group call will focus on. More information on this upcoming event here: soulfullheart.org/events.

We welcome you to take in our sharings this week, which are about our personal processes as well as what we feel moving in the ongoing collective awakening journey.

If you would like to subscribe to our Museletter and other important announcements, you can do so by clicking the link at the bottom of our Museletter itself, or visit soulfullheart.org and enter your email there.

You can read our latest Museletter here.

With so much love from all of us!

~ The SoulFullHeart Community

Living In A Deeply Altered Reality

By  Raphael Awen

We all live in a deeply altered personal reality that we have needed to normalize to a large enough degree to make it bearable and doable.

We added a balm layer of amnesiac forgetfulness to help this altered reality hold together.

The specific location of this altered reality does have a location and coordinates on the larger map of reality, but even that larger map is yet another altered reality.

All realities are sub realities/royalties of love. Love created infinite number expressions of itself in a bid to know and expand itself.

You and I are one infinitesimally small expression of that, while at the same time holding all of the infinite fullness of that grand endeavor, being and expression.

As awareness of our origins arise for us in felt, feeling toned experience, we make more and more conscious reconnection with that origin. That is coming to know and feel our divine love essence. This is the update of love that is experiencable and felt, a ‘to:’ and ‘from:’ kind of love, like in valentines, not just a love ‘isness’ that just is, but can’t be transactionally known outside of itself. Love stepped outside of itself to know itself. You and I are that outed love kind of reality.

Even though we were outed from love, we never lost that connection to love, nor did we lose our essence of being love, for it was impossible to lose. So impossible was it to be lost, that love needed to go to these lengths to create make-believe realities mixed in with so much forgetfulness to allow for these places of experiment, discovery and expansion.

In it all, we all suffered from feelings of being cast out, of falling from grace, of assuming a personal guilt for such a felt tragedy.

These were experiences the divine was unable to have within itself were it not for you and I as modified expressions of the divine capable of this layer of creativity, forgetfulness and even suffering. But what is the point of this suffering, if not as the spiritual texts refer to, ‘a greater glory to be revealed’ in us?

As all of this is coming into our awareness, we are invited to reopen our quest and questions from a new place of childlike reverence, awe and wonder.

We can certainly see when we look at one another, or look at divergent parts of ourselves, how each of our personal realities is a specific sub reality, and all of that within a larger shared reality layer here on Gaia. But what if this Human/Gaian/Earth reality is only yet again, one of innumerable other realities, and other locations?

We can also see and feel how this ability to create sub realities is so embedded in each one of us, and how we do that from moment to moment, or from phase to phase in our lifetimes, and soul history.

If any of this feels true, then it really invites us in our awakening to humble ourselves to this background reality generating dynamic within to become reverent and curious about what it is doing and why.

How could we possibly awaken to its workings and invite it to go into new directions that our heart and soul wants to consciously take instead of living out the realities dropped on us from our environment or past conditionings?

How could we love, feel and bridge to the past conditioned realities in a way that completes them, and moves them from fear to love?

Are there ‘portal moments’ where we are ripe and ready to shift realities? How do we recognize and embrace those kinds of moments?

How do we relate to those who we have so deeply shared and created a reality with when they don’t seem done at all with the reality like we are?

Is the asking and living out of these questions possibly the return trip back to love, the completion of love’s experiment and expansion?

You are love where you are now, where you were, and where you are headed. Try as we may, this is one essence we can’t shake, for it is the only essence from which all other essences arise.

Even your shame, fear and anxiety are all a part of this expansion, experiment, experience, seeming departure and return to love. So is your unbounded joy, desire, delight and love of life, the divine and one another!

Deep, rich, unfathomable love to you,

Raphael Awen

Please join us for our 10:10 Divine Love Transmission Group Call on Sunday, October 10.

https://www.facebook.com/events/2992100991003079/

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

Deep Rich Unfathomable Love

By  Raphael Awen

Deep rich unfathomable love surrounds you and I at all times. This love is infinite, profound and isn’t based on anything you can do or not do to make it real. It is because you are.

So great is this love, that we need a resistance to it in order to make it experiencable. Like a submarine is built to withstand the greater atmospheric pressures of the deep ocean to prevent it from collapsing under the pressure, so are you and I built to withstand love, given how deep we are submerged in love. It’s like the love is too real!

We don’t want to withstand it totally; we just want to take it in, in measured ways that bring life instead of harm.

Each moment is a negotiation between the resistance and overwhelm of this love with our need and desire for this love. It seems parts of us are still functioning on old programming to resist the love with a tenacity that isn’t true or needed anymore for where we are now.

We are actually ready and need to let in a lot more love than we could in the past.

As we feel this yearning for more love, we are able to ask love to help us deal with the resistance, to un-engineer it, if you will.

We get to see and feel why love didn’t feel safe before and how we built deeper resistances to it; how we settled to live on less; and create a world with less and less love. That worked for us while it did and actually felt like love, security and safety to parts of us.

But that’s not what’s true now. Our digestive systems are upgrading to live on a lot more and higher frequencies of love. We actually feel worse when we resist love like we used to, like we needed to before.

Each time we negotiate with a resistive part of us to ask for and receive love, we experience love, tears, a good kind of collapse, that assures us deeper of this love surround. We also see that love couldn’t feel like love were it not for the resistance, being without anything to compare it to.

Love in this way is experiencing itself through you. It needs a you with needs and resistances to have an experience of itself. Love didn’t have this when it just existed in its bliss state of oneness, when it was all there was. Here is where we get to reconcile our darkness with our light, personally and collectively.

What resistances are you feeling inside? How and when are they expressing in your life, in what circumstances? How can you recognize these as portals and opportunities to receive love?

Love,

Raphael

Please join us for our 10:10 Divine Love Transmission Group Call on Sunday, October 10.

https://www.facebook.com/events/2992100991003079/

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.