Category: Change and Transformation

Healing Inner Punishment Through Currency and Love

Published on by Raianna ShaiLeave a comment

By Raianna Shai

Something has been shifting deep within me to a place I haven’t quite reached yet before. I’ve always struggled to access and allow the parts of me that have opinions, reactions or feelings that are judged inside of me. They were invalidated as too much, unnecessary, unfair, harsh, immature, unimportant and anything else you can imagine.

I’ve been working with this part of me called the Ursula who is very matriarchal and has been deeply hijacked by the matrix. On the other side of the coin is my inner punisher who shows up as a dark cloud to instil this feeling of dread, foreboding and shame. Their names are Octavia and Nimbus.

I first started connecting to Octavia, many months ago but much deeper the last few weeks, and realized that she was a large source of my power, discernment and truth as a woman. She would feel opinions or reactions to things and Nimbus would shut them down immediately and go straight to the logical and more docile response. For example, if someone said something to hurt my feelings and Octavia had a reaction to it, then Nimbus would set those feelings aside and jump to the knowing that “They didn’t mean it that way” or that “It came from a certain part of them for a reason”.

Now I’ve finally let in the fact that this strategy doesn’t allow for Octavia to be felt and often she is feeling something very valid and useful for the other person to hear. Allowing her to share her reaction would bring me a greater understanding of myself and of the other person. It would bring us closer and drop any walls that might still linger between us. But this was far too intimate and could lead to hurt in Nimbus’s eyes.

Over the last few weeks I’ve finally felt ready to release Octavia from this bind and let her speak her heart and mind when she needs to. I’ve shared some (albeit small but current) reactions with some of my beloveds in this community and honestly it couldn’t have gone better.

With Bianca we were able to understand each other on a deeper level and learn more about ourselves and the ways we have operated throughout our lives. With Kasha I was able to uncover a habit of mine that kept me from connecting with others more deeply. We ended up having deep tears about how much we love each other and how much we have been through together.

Each experience allowed me to validate whatever Octavia was feeling no matter how small or “trivial” it might be judged as. Every reaction has a purpose whether it’s to understand more about yourself or to become more intimate with others. I finally understand what it feels like to be current and not hold back in the name of being polite, nice or easygoing. Those are all ideals that have kept me small and in a box of my own creation, not allowing all the flavours and colours of my being to show up and be seen.

Ever since this started I’ve felt this existential change in my being. Last night I imagined it like all my molecules have been thrown up in the air and are coming back down in a new arrangement. I am being changed by this and I can see and feel it in a way I never have before. I am claiming all that I deserve to feel inside and out and giving all the love I can give – inside and out.

Hopefully this sparks an inspiration in you to feel the parts of you that are judging any reactions you have and are preventing you from being current with those around you. Love is current and currency is love. ♥️

Raianna Shai
Soulfullheart Experience

Love,
Raianna Shai

~~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and website designer of the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.

The Year of the Sacred “Yes”

Published on by Raianna Shai2 Comments

By Raianna Shai

I woke up into this new year feeling a palpable bittersweet-ness. For me, and perhaps many others, it has been a big year of letting go and then deeply grieving those losses. In a sense it has been a year of saying “no”. To tired patterns, old versions of ourselves, relationships, environments, tensions, and anything that brings a sense of unworthiness or heaviness.

The phase of saying no is SO sacred and tells all the precious parts of you that they are worthy of love and deserve all the desires and needs that live in their hearts. Letting go and deeply feeling the grief of it is something that not many are taught to do. We are taught to let go and forget or hold on for good. But to feel every inch of sadness, relief, confusion, heartbreak, or deep despair that comes up from letting go is so much more meaningful than letting it all sit underneath the surface.

Feeling the depths of these emotions allows more room for all everything you want to say “YES” to. That’s how I feel 2023 will unfold, the year of yes.

Yes to healing
Yes to love
Yes to the divine
Yes to transformational relationships
Yes to inner growth
Yes to opening out the heart again

Saying no to so many things can feel so depleting and disheartening. It’s hard to open yourself up again to the new possibilities that can fill the void that has been left. In the meantime, we can fill the void ourselves with our own inner relationships and inner growth. But soon we can open up again and let in the magic of the new.

Everything we’ve dreamed of is on the horizon just waiting for us to be ready for it. We can hide in the shadows in fear of hurting again, or open our hearts to love and loss knowing that we’ll always find our way back to love. I feel so much honouring of all that has been let go of this year, including an old layer of myself that is ready to move out. And now I welcome in more alchemy, flow and intimacy than ever before! Wishing a REAL New Year to you all ♥️

✨ The pictures attached is an incredible creation by Kasha as a Christmas card this year!✨

Love,
Raianna Shai

~~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and website designer of the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.

A Message To Gatekeepers: Unification/Forgiveness/Reconciliation/Light Codes And Yeshua/Magdalene/Christ Consciousness Available Right Now To Tap Into And Download

Published on by Bianca Magdalene3 Comments

By Bey Magdalene

In my last session with Jelelle we met my actual/new Gatekeeper as she wanted to bridge me to my higher dimensional Gatekeeper for support. Who came forward was an energy that in the course of the session would call himself ‘Sampson’. We found him in a scene very similar to the Matrix movie. He was staring at thousands upon thousands of those pods from the movie, all representing an incarnation into a Matrix timeline in my soul. I could see many of them actually awakening from their slumber, sitting up and becoming aware of themselves, unplugging and rinsing off the Matrix waters. My soul awakening. 

He was watching those pods and seeing and feeling all the pain, trauma and victimization all of these metasoul aspects of mine were experiencing. It was as if he was experiencing those timelines himself, through my soul aspects, just by witnessing them. He was caught in a sticky web and couldn’t see anything else. 

Jelelle asked him to take a step back and to try and project this experience onto a screen, so he could start to differentiate from them and breathe. He projected those timelines onto a screen and there were many others, showing all the traumatizing Matrix timelines. It looked like a control center with all those monitors. That gave him some distance to these experiences and he could start to differentiate from them and not feel as if they were happening to him. 

Jelelle was inviting him to turn to nature to further help him unplug from his fusion to those matrix timelines. He was dialing in a big tree with a very thick trunk with deep roots and a sizable, overarching canopy. He touched the textured bark and started to rest by the tree. Then, magically, little light sparkles came through the tree that felt like Divine inspiration coming through. He started feeling and becoming lighter and started feeling hope. Tears could stream as well through Divine love and support.

That was pretty much all he could let in at that time and then he needed to go rest and retreat again. 

I have been connecting with him since and I could feel that it was him who had already unplugged so much in my process over the past few months, plug after plug. I started to get answers to questions I’ve been having about this life.  

I’ve had many deep tears with him since, sometimes he would cry for an hour straight, when I would feel with him the Love and loyalty he has for me and my soul and how he has tried to protect me this life through some really thick veils of keeping me naive/uninformed about core issues in this world or by suppressing my awakening that tried to happen ten years ago already and still has been controlling/capping it to this day. 

There has also been a lot of shame and guilt in him and unworth too, about not being able to really do anything for me or protect my metasoul aspects from trauma.  

Initially, he would show up like light shaped in human form and he was a bit elusive. He felt he didn’t deserve a face or shape because he couldn’t protect my soul, he couldn’t help my other expressions/incarnations in other lifetimes.  

A couple of days ago then he actually took a form and represented himself as a (Roman) warrior with helmet, shield and sword. His protection had become overprotective I could feel and he could feel that too and he started to loosen his grip around it, as he started recognizing my bigness and the power of my heart and of feeling. 

Since I started awakening on a deeper level to how our world is set up and works since the beginning of this ‘pandemic’, I have felt very drawn to the mind control aspect of it all and particularly the trauma based programming that celebrities receive in order to have them fall in line with the elite agenda, whose darkest expressions include satanic rituals. After having needed a break from taking in anything related to that kind of thing and generally alternative/actual news/facts on world/current or historical events, my interest in them has been sparked again since meeting Sampson. 

I have started to take in some comprehensive articles again that are very well researched and explain in detail about all the Cabal structures, events and expressions in the entertainment industrial complex (a good site for this is The Vigilant Citizen, if you are curious yourself). I have been particularly drawn to the MK Ultra programming in the music industry and even more specifically the Beta/Sex Kitten programming that creates sex slaves for the elite. 

Two nights ago, something peaked for me in that area and I could feel that my heightened interest in this topic was actually what we call in SoulFullHeart a ‘bleed-through’… I could feel a Satanic timeline coming through. It felt like a portal was opened through taking in these articles and I could see and feel the female human sacrifice on the altar and a ceremony master whose incantations of certain words opened up a portal to the underbelly of humanity and invoked very dark spirits. I could feel that Sampson was living there too, with my metasoul aspect, trying to help her by being there as a support/to witness, and because he’s loyal and just sucked into the trauma too. 

I was realizing afterwards that this timeline/portal had already bled through in the past for me. It was about 2.5 years ago and I remember feeling completely fused to that bleed through and being terrified to death. Back then, I was living a very nomadic lifestyle, moving from workaway to workaway (a type of work exchange for food and shelter) and my Gatekeeper was drawing quite some intense drama/trauma as well, to get my attention and look on the inside where that trauma lived. My inner and outer circumstances were not providing a save space to explore this timeline in. Now, I am settling deeper into my own little 1-bedroom-apartment/sanctuary here in Central Portugal, I am in a much more loving place on the inside, having felt and moved so many parts of myself from hell to heaven, and I’m surrounded by community who can support me in my inner explorations.

Yesterday was a very powerful Yeshua/Christ Consciousness portal day and the codes were streaming in undeniably. In my check-in with him yesterday morning, I didn’t feel that it was timely to go into this timeline because he felt very beat and in despair. That is also the kind of timeline I’d want support with, so it would be perfect for session or group setting. Instead, I felt to bridge him to some Divine love and support, like I have tried in many of my connections with him, but he hadn’t been ready for it thus far. I needed to feel more of his pain with him first.  

Yesterday morning, I needed to feel with him first that trauma, the matrix and even Satan is more real to him than God. It is really interesting, I have to say at this point, that the fear of feeling something is always, always more disempowering and rendering our parts and aspects impotent than actually feeling the feeling. As soon as I felt that feeling with him, it dissipated and the hopelessness and despair that accompanied that notion, too. 

I saw a staircase made from light that was leading up to the Divine/to a higher dimension and it felt like an invitation for Sampson to move into his higher timeline and into Divine support. I could feel his reticence and him not wanting to abandon my soul and leave my soul aspects alone in their trauma.  

Then I felt next to me very clearly Yeshua and that he wanted to talk with Sampson. So I took a moment to feel into him and his message more as I really wanted to help Sampson and myself too and end this cycle of suffering inside of myself. 

When I tuned into him, he had this to offer to my Gatekeeper: ‘I feel your precious loyalty towards Bey and her soul. Thank you so much for all your love and protection for her! But you actually don’t have to hold the soul anymore, you can‘t even, really, especially if you are in so much despair over it. You have been fused to Bey’s Matrix incarnations, living them yourself, feeling they are you. That way, you haven’t been able to see Bey’s soul bigness and trust and lean into that. You are in a trauma bond with Bey‘s soul… Is that fair to say?’ 

He came through very clearly, directly and very embodied too, which was a first for me. When I took a step back and was trying to feel Sampson and how he was taking in what Yeshua was offering, I could feel him a bit confused and disoriented. He didn‘t quite know who was talking. He asked: ‘Is that you, God?’ It took a little while for him but eventually he could let the Divine in the form of Yeshua in and had tears. His tears are just so precious! He responded: ‘Yes, that’s fair to say’… Yeshua reached his hand out to him and invited him to come with him up the stairs to anchor in a higher dimension, to rest, recover and receive support and Love from the Divine. I saw the shackles around his ankles that have tied him to the Matrix opening through the light. 

Before stepping on the stairs, he looked back at me and started to cry again because he didn’t want to leave me and my soul alone. But I actually need him to go with Yeshua now, I need him to leave my body and my field as I want and need to feel myself more and become more solid in myself.  

My guides can also offer him many other things and give him the kind of support that I as a human can’t give him. There’s only so much that I can feel with him and my human heart can support him in but eventually there comes a time where he has to go off and get Divine support, support from my soul and the soul family monad.  

Gatekeepers as disincarnate beings are also not made for the human realm. It is not their environment, their natural habitat if you will, they are not relational like humans either and they just have different needs than we do. So this dimension does not suit them. They do belong to a different one, they have just forgotten. They can still come back and be the Divine muse for their humans and be in a collaborative relationship with them. So, if they decide to differentiate from their human, they won’t ‘lose’ the connection to them. On the contrary, they will have a much more nourishing one with them, or even have one to begin with. 

After reading Raphael’s Golden Nugget from yesterday (77 words of Raphael wisdom every day, here is the link to the one I‘m referring to), I am realizing that Sampson has been able to come up and out because my light as Bey has been shining onto my shadow where he had been hiding. He couldn’t come out with Bianca as he was way too fused to her and thinking he WAS her, living life AS her. 

I feel I am telling you all this and letting you in on my very intimate connection and relationship with my Gatekeeper because I feel there are SO many gatekeepers out there who are in the same position as mine had been. They are living in this dark, parallel world, that is eerie and is only made up of trauma. That world is not connected to your heart, your love and the support that you have access to. In that world, they only see a repetition of yet another lifetime in the Matrix that is the same as all the other traumatic ones and they can’t actually see that you are making different choices this life and that there’s support available this life that hasn’t been there before. 

I want to reach out to them and leave a seed of hope for them and to let them know: I see you and I feel you. And whenever you are ready to let your human go deeper with us, there is support here waiting for you. 

The place they are in is like an echo chamber of trauma and programmed consciousnesses and reactions. It’s like they have Soul PTSD. For me, it has expressed this life as being easily spooked and having deeply visceral body reactions to any situation that scared me easily. I have also been expecting punishment/persecution every corner I turned or with every e-mail I received or from certain people or in my jobs. I‘m also feeling that a LOT of body issues, especially chronic migraines for me since I was a pre-teen, has been connected to him. There has been a combination reaction going on with my Solar Plexus churning and simultaneously my Third Eye which gave me migraines. 

Their world/echo chamber also projects out into this life and filters every situation, relationship, anything really, through that PTSD filter and skews and colours your experience of life and others this way. 

Gatekeepers are also quite loyal to the matrix pain as oftentimes it is the only home they have known, for eons! So that way, it actually needs some negotiation with them to let go of pain home and experience something else. There is tears for them and deep mourning of letting go the Matrix home and they have to be ready for that. Not many Gatekeepers have done that before either! So that‘s also about creating a new template and anchor it in the grids for others to tap into and follow. 

It is also fascinating how one aspect of you (or you yourself) can be so connected to the Divine, yet another is seemingly cut off from this connection, even though that aspect, you and the Divine can be in the same room together. It just needs a little bridging from you to the Divine for that aspect and it needs your trust in your own heart and conviction of your worth and that you are worthy to connect with the Divine and that Divine connection is readily available, if we really want it. It is about trusting your ability and gift of connecting to the Divine. 

It really comes down to the Gatekeeper’s own pacing around awakening as they can be an aspect that is actually quite programmed themselves. This life, my GK was definitely plugged into the social justice warrior consciousness for a short yet intense time. I can feel him needing to recover from that and from the last few years of intense workaway experiences too, that really were all a from of False Light. But that is fodder for a whole other post! 

So, sometimes, it is just holding this energy, connecting with it intentionally and then hanging out until they let you in. Before they show themselves, they can put you through a few tests though, sometimes for years even, so they can be sure you can handle what they need you to feel with them and that you have the support this life as well, inside and out, to respond to their pain. 

Through my connection with Sampson and many other Gatekeepers over the years, they have a special place in my heart and I have so much love for them all. They are such courageous energies/beings and have seen, felt and held so much. They have seen the darkest expressions of humanity and other races. When I feel Sampson, I get teary because I love him so much and I’m so glad he finally decided to trust me, after all the testing he put me through, and the community too, to trust the community and to show himself. I’m SO glad he was feeling to put an end to being in this matrix vortex that kept him sucked in trauma and that he started to let in the possibility of something else for him. A new experience. A union and collaboration with me and with the Divine. A re-membering of his Divine essence and connection. After all, Gatekeepers are the aspects of our soul that are Divine Muses ❤️ 

Love to You and your Gatekeeper! 

Bey Magdalene

https://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions 

*** Bey Magdalene is a SoulFullHeart Apprentice Facilitator and Community Member. She offers sessions in German and English. For more information on community, videos, group calls, and 1:1 sessions with a SoulFullHeart Facilitator, visit soulfullheart.org.

Welcoming In Your Sacred Inner Homecoming

Published on by Kasha RokshanaLeave a comment

by Kasha Rokshana

Through being born into this Matrix, we are taught to be concerned, always, with the opinions that surround us. We end up scattered, shattered, divided inside. This division has created ‘parts’ that formed in response to this mandate to always look outside of us for answers, for the modeling of ‘best behaviours’, for learning how to be compliant or even how to rebel properly, and certainly for any sense of ‘home’, belonging, or reconnection with the Divine. 

It has been such a huge part of my personal process over this last decade to truly bring ALL of that back inward, to follow the threads of pain that have led to parts of me, and to then untangle those threads from other parts and find integration over time. These pain threads have been complex, not straight forward, and also have been co-created and maintained by outer relationships, jobs, etc. They have also been tugged on and at times entangled with the threads within others and their own parts, making the sorting out a process of what’s mine and what’s someone else’s quite messy in moments. 

The only way I’ve been able to deeply address and heal the pain and parts has been by bringing them back inward, to my own heart, to the home/nest I’ve been creating and cultivating there for so long, which now also overflows to others in 1:1 sessions as I hold space for other women’s own parts to come forward and their own inner ‘homes’ to be created.

There is always an invitation to create this inner heart and soul home inside of you and so much support being offered for that from the Divine within you, from your Metasoul aspects, from Star Family, even from all the beings in your inner world also known as ‘parts of you’ – though many of them may have a really hard time letting in that this home within is even possible at first, as they’ve had to have so much outer focus for so long. 

The codes of Homecoming that are steaming in these days are an opportunity to re-code what it means to truly take care of yourself, your body, your emotional and spiritual realities, and not only within you… they are also supporting you to draw to you those resonant relationships you’ve maybe only dreamed of, or only experienced virtually so far. If there’s a resistance or reluctance in your heart toward truly embracing your beloved online relationships in the physical, there are very likely some parts of you that feel afraid perhaps of the cost to your life as you’ve known it… for nothing ever changes us like letting love in, especially love for ourselves and especially, also, saying ‘yes’ to love’s flow as it moves between us and others in ways unpredictable. 

My beloveds, Raphael and Jelelle Awen will be leading a group call this coming Sunday, Oct 16th, that will be focused on these Homecoming Codes – letting them in, feeling what they mean for you personally, and connecting to your inner ‘home’ in a deepening way. The call will be by donation as always, and held over Zoom. If you’d like more info, visit soulfullheart.org/events. 

So much love to you and with you as you feel into these Homecoming Codes and what they mean to you at this time!

Love,

Kasha 

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space-holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Fall Energies Inviting Us Back Into Our ‘Homes’ Within

Published on by Kasha RokshanaLeave a comment

by Kasha Rokshana

As we wind down into fall energies and the summer stirrings in our hearts and bodies wind down as well, we’re invited to find home within in a whole new way. It’s a time of inner re-balancing, finding some stability, some way of creating an inner nest where your parts and soul aspects can rest. No matter what has been stirred up for you, supported by cosmic alignments or soul readjustments, now is a time of resettling inside so that you can find a way to come back home to yourself… no matter what or who you’ve been responding to on the outside, whatever has been collapsing or coming alive in your life, or where your relationships seem to be going or not.

Between the letting go of my sacred union romance several months ago and the letting in of sacred sisterhood at new levels of depth and resonance, I’ve been feeling an ongoing need and desire to be in response from the heart of my womb, my Queen, my alchemical feminine essence, to everything that needs that…even my young cat! I feel the dance of being in my mid-30s, the letting go of a level of youngness in order to let in even more maturation. I feel my body changing and my heart changing too. I feel my soul leading me in directions that are surprising at times. I feel myself in service of love in new ways throughout all of this, claiming a deep love and appreciation of myself that can overflow so much more to others. Throughout all of these shifts and the new data that I’m embracing about myself, I feel like my inner homestead is being rebuilt and expanding too. This summer has truly been about inner renovation and renewal for me, and I’m not the only one!

In my soul sisters who I serve in sessions and who I’m in intimate relationship with here in Portugal, I feel and see similar shifts and changes. It’s like as women especially, we’re all being invited to create a new nest inside, to birth the new that wants to come from us, whether it’s a renewal of who we thought we were and experienced ourselves to be, or a renewed way of being in life and in response to love – or everything all at once! The need for women to step up to discover and claim everything about themselves, shadow and light aspects, all sorts of parts at play, creates this need for a more expansive inner ‘home’ to come back to and ground into within. 

The fall energies and the shift to go back inward is real and sometimes intense, yet good when deeply surrendered to. It’s in this surrender that we find and feel the Divine within in what can feel like brand new and surprising ways. It’s in this surrender that we can truly align with our Divine creativity, our alchemy, our personal way of being love in all the moments we have on this planet… in the full-range expression of that love, which can be challenging but also gentle. 

Here’s a guided meditation I created recently, to support your process of creating a home or ‘Safe Haven’ within: https://youtu.be/VNg8D7Hq7dw

Many blessings and so much love to you as you continue your journey through these early fall energies and bring everything back inward to your heart and the love that you are!

Love,

Kasha

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Becoming: A Poem

Published on by Kasha Rokshana3 Comments

by Kasha Rokshana

Maybe it’s readiness
That draws the curtains on our fate.
And maybe readiness has never been about
anything missing,
wrong,
or unmastered.

Maybe readiness has always been about
Now letting in
All the love there always is to receive,
being willing to go in
and feel
Where, how, why
Certain pockets of our being,
Certain parts within our heart,
Certain aspects of our vast soul
Put aside love as any possible answer
To any pain, ache, or desire.

Maybe…
Maybe it’s the vulnerability
Of humbly feeling unready
That brings in the openings we crave and cave into?
Perhaps it’s mostly in our humility,
Our willingness to start all over again,
Our ability to feel it all,
Where we feel our Divine calling to love
And be love
To experience deep and soulful romantic love
To draw to us our fated encounters,
Our synchronized alignments,
And our most beloved unfolding
Into everything we are
And are now ready to claim
…And be claimed by.

The Divine, the Great Love that holds us steady
through the tumult.
The energy inspiring our growing centres,
Encouraging, always, our deepening trust in all there is to endure,
Brings us homeward to ourselves
In ever-unexpected ways
Through waves of grief, fear, longing,
And yes,
Grace too.

We are everything
Rather than nothing.
We are aliveness
So much more so than deadness.
We are alchemy brewing and moving
Even in our toughest, tightest, flattest,
and most uncertain phases.

We are readying, steadying,
Living into
The greatest fates we could imagine
With every shake and quake of our hearts
And awakening of our souls
Into a new reality
Blossoming from the depths
And caverns
And crevices
Inside the inside of everything we are
Everything we ever were
And everything we are yet to embrace
In our ready, open, aligned
Becoming.

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Healing Perfectionism With Divine Love

Published on by Raianna ShaiLeave a comment

By Raianna Shai

Perfectionism is expressed by many different parts of us, in varied ways and for so many reasons. I’m sure many of us can relate to the constant need to control the outcome or appearance of everything we do. The fear of doing something wrong or being judged for it is running in the background of our minds even in everyday, simple tasks. We often feel tension and anxiety when something unfolds in a way we did not expect or control. Maybe it comes up when you have reactions you don’t want to have, or there’s conflict you wanted to avoid, or you chose to do something that you realize others would judge.

Perfectionism is often used as a way to protect the most precious and vulnerable parts of us which has been so needed in certain phases of our lives. Overtime it becomes so ingrained in us from messaging by society, matrix coding from as far back as birth, personal desire to appear a certain way, and to avoid judgement and loss. But it gets to a certain point where it prevents those vulnerable parts from growing into their bigness and recognizing that they don’t need that protection to the same degree anymore.

Perfectionism for myself has been so strong my entire life. I strived to be a perfect student, perfect friend, perfect girlfriend, perfect daughter, perfect community member. And slowly but surely I’ve come to unwind this ingrained desire to avoid any and all judgement and conflict. Much of this has been rooted in the idea that I’m not good enough and that I’ll lose everything I love so much. The moment we separated from the Divine, we were given an underlying feeling of guttural and tragic loss of our home frequency of love and connection. So much unworthiness stems from that loss and everyday we try to prove we are good enough to the divine in some way, shape or form.

Freedom can be found in the moments when all parts of us are nourished and aligned: heart, body, mind, soul and spirit. When we allow ourselves to let in true divine love, we are then able to realize that we can truly do no wrong from the perspective of the Divine. This is really the only place we can find unconditional love and acceptance. When we let go of expectation, obligation and self consciousness – we find liberation.

Freedom for me was felt in the picture I’ve attached to this post. That week I felt the words from the Divine rumble through me when she said “You are my everything”. The energy and truth of these words started to unlock this strong hold parts of me had on the idea of not being good enough. We truly are everything to her – everyone of us and in every way. In the moment of this picture I stepped away from something that was bringing me tension and took in beautiful nature and sunset codes with my beloved Kasha and every part of me felt nourished and aligned.

Freedom is found when we take the time to remind every part of ourselves, even the ones that are hard to love, that they always have been and always will be good enough. Even when there’s room to grow, even when there are regrets, even when the future is unknown – they are good enough and more. And the more we see this bigness in ourselves, the more we can see and feel it in others. And from there, the love spreads like wildfire.

Love,
Raianna Shai

~~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and website designer of the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Black Moon Lilith Amplifying Polarities, Inviting Soul Healing

Published on by Kasha Rokshana1 Comment

by Kasha Rokshana

🌑Black Moon Lilith Energy Update: Lilith is a powerful energy of Dark Mother and one that is up right now, stirring pots and amplifying what needs to be felt and exposed, both within you and in the collective. Dark Mother in general is a huge part of our Ascension, yet feeling a specific face of Her is often a supportive way to feel ourselves and feel Mother’s heart holding us all.

Before I even realized that we’re currently in a powerful Lilith Dark Moon phase, I had been connecting to my own polarities inside of me that still live in my Metasoul in other lifetimes, especially in priestess timelines and also in my Gatekeeper (a soul aspect that it seems we all have, who is the keeper of our veils and Akashic Records access, you could say). A recent Metasoul aspect that I met asked me to call her ‘Lilith’ and at the time I didn’t know why. Now it feels like she was drawing my attention to these current energies and how they played out in her lifetime as well.

I’ve felt how in recent sharings I’ve gone a bit more into edgy energies that aren’t really me as ‘Kasha’ and now that I’m starting to take them back inward and feel what these reactions have been about, I can feel not only my own personal Lilith influence in my soul, but also a precious and tender aspect of me that is my Inner Orphan. This is still a deepening and unfolding process for me that I don’t have total clarity on at the moment, but it’s a big one with pain coming up to be felt that I thought maybe had been resolved, which is also an aspect of what’s moving with the Lilith influence right now.

Lilith is significant for women because she represents sovereignty and autonomy. She encourages us to say ‘no’ to patriarchal energies and influences, yet when she’s taken in solely in this way, it can become hijacked by pain in our Metasouls that then comes out with anti-masculine energies or even anti-feminine energies too. That may seem a bit backward, yet there is often quite a bit of sisterhood karma-drama between women who feel like kindred souls and this can definitely become amplified with reactivity and even a longing for a depth of female connection we once knew in our Metasouls until it was hijacked by Cabal energies and other dark influences.

As I took in information others have shared about the Lilith Dark Moon, I realized that the Cabal chose this time specifically to bring up the recent Roe v Wade issue that’s come up, which has absolutely brought out more polarity during what has already been an amped-up month in some ways energetically. Taking a step back from my own reactions to so many things lately, I can feel how my soul is still learning to trust in these revelations and movements, to see what’s being exposed with as little judgement as possible, and to move beyond needing to be polarized and reactive in order to start not only seeing the bigger picture, but letting it in and living in it. 

The pain of the feminine womb has been real and we all feel it. We all feel our sisters both inside ourselves and outside too, rumbling and shaking with desire for their empowerment, for the feminine to arise and be revered as truly sacred. This is tricky ground to walk at times, as the feminine arising means she needs to also find out what she is not or no longer wishes to be. This is a sacred and personal process for all women and also for the feminine in men and for those men who have chosen to be in deep mateships with women. There is no ‘one size fits all’ way to feel and live into this process, but rather we are invited to feel and experience our uniqueness, address the messes we make inside and out, feel our impact on those around us with an open(ing) heart, and lean back into the dynamically flowing love of Divine Mother who holds our whole process of re-discovery with deep love and compassion.

I feel even in the necessary ferocity from a face of Mother like Lilith, so much love and care. I also feel how She has been projected onto and even used as a reason to be in a near-constant battling energy rather than moving into more Love Ambassadorship. I feel grateful for what she has helped stir and amplify within me so that I can see it and become intimate with it, what she has stirred between my beloved Gabriel and I for us to look at and feel together, and what she invites us into for our own empowerment. 

I feel how much power there is available to all of us at this time, as we become clearer about who we truly are as the layers continue to burn and fall away. I actually feel how there’s more power available when we embody our feminine as women without concern or attachment to the outward expression of it. Lilith just IS feminine empowerment and love, and even though the lore around her has her showing up as an angry and fighter-like energy, I can feel how much more depth of feeling and wisdom there is to tap into that can take us beyond being polarized and instead into immense love, and forgiveness, for ALL.

Love,

Kasha

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Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

What Do You Long For?

Published on by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

What do you long for?

What is seeking redemption, truth, forgiveness, and love?

What is it that you truly want to feel coursing through your veins when you wake up in the morning?

Who are you really and what the hell are you doing here?

These are the penetrative questions that rumble the status quo of our current emotional and spiritual consciousness. I am being asked those questions of myself as I feel and heal old patterns within me that have taken me to the next leg of my inner quest and leadership.

When you feel like you begin to cycle on something, you have hit a ceiling. Actually, it is more like a membrane. It is not solid in reality. It only appears that way to a part of you that holds resistance to what lies on the other side. This ‘ceiling’ is actually the floor to the next level, the next chapter, of your ever-evolving growth and remembrance.

What you come to at that moment is a precipice. In front of you is a void that has no apparent stone to step on because a part of you afraid of what happens if there is nothing there to catch you. This has been a repeated part of my journey that is seeking an end. One where vulnerability, risk, and the fear of what occurs on the other side get to create the very steps that have appeared lacking yet there all along.

This suffering ceiling is what brought me to SoulFullHeart. It is what inspired me to say no more to what clearly was not working in my life at that time. It is what is inviting me to go to my next places, next steps that send me to higher heights, along with the fears of falling. There is a moment when you have to decide when the cycles end and the real loving begins. I ask again:

What do you long for?

What is seeking redemption, truth, forgiveness, and love?

What is it that you truly want to feel coursing in your veins when you wake up in the morning?

Who are you really and what the hell are you doing here?

The answers to those questions only come from going into your heart with curiosity, a mirror, and a guide. Wherever you find it, chose it and claim it one choice at a time. Your soul is ready as your heart may waver. That wavering is a universe of parts that have a lot to say and be held in. Feel them and you create a whole new world from the inside out. I offer my heart in service to that exploration of all that you are meant to be.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Causes Of Inner Work & Ascension ‘Burnout’

Published on by Kasha RokshanaLeave a comment

by Kasha Rokshana

It’s not uncommon to hear about how burnt-out, frustrated, and DONE people feel when it comes to their own Ascension and awakening journeys. There are so many things that can make someone feel this way and there are different ways to look at why this is happening, from the inside out. 

Join Kasha as she launches into a discussion about what’s in her heart about this topic/obstacle and what the factors may be that have led up to it. She offers her sense of how being inundated with ‘spiritual teachings’ and mandates around ‘do this, not that!‘ can play a role in making parts of you feel overwhelmed and ready to give up. Also, many offerings don’t seem to truly give you handrails and active support, let alone heart warmth, and also can blow you/parts of you out (sometimes even on purpose) with over-confrontation and an outside-in orientation to healing that does nothing to empower you to hold your own process. Kasha offers that while confrontation may be necessary at times, peak experiences or intense ‘retreats’ can actually traumatize your parts/Metasoul aspects more so than offer true healing, integration, and a sense of who you truly are.

Kasha goes into more details about all of this and more surrounding what may or may not be your specific circumstances around feeling ‘burned out’ on your personal journey. This is just the tip of the iceberg too, as really this is such a big topic to dive into and is really so personal to everyone who feels it.

Here is a guided meditation to help you connect with your Gatekeeper: https://youtu.be/bGqTeeaYpwc

For more information about the SoulFullHeart quantum healing process, Jelelle Awen’s latest book Free To Be 5D, videos, and events, visit https://www.soulfullheart.org.

We also invite you to join us for affordable membership on our private, online community SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks for sharing, asking questions, and connecting with others: https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co/feed

For more information about a free intro call to find out more about 1:1 sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, visit http://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions

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Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.