By Raphael Awen
I am about to re-release soon the book ‘90 Days With Yeshua’ that I wrote in 2013. In preparation for that, I decided to write a prologue in the same fashion of our conversations from the book and felt to share them here as I do. It will be over a few days of dialogue and today is day one of that below. I hope to have you join me for the ride. Enjoy…
Raphael: Yeshua, This is Raphael. I’d like to reconnect.
Yeshua: Ahh, Raphael, yes let’s connect, you changed your name Man!
R: I did, Wayne left the building for the most part.
Y: Wow, My heart is warmed feeling from you…
R: ‘warmed feeling from you?’
Y: Hey man, we always made shit up didn’t we?
R: I guess we did, we sure did, and so here we are without missing a beat.
Y: No, I’ve missed our beat for sure. Glad you want to check in…very glad.
R: I feel our hearts recalibrating in the moment.
Y: I do too. Life isn’t the same without you, or was it Wayne? …who is Raphael anyway?
R: What was that, like 36 seconds in and you want to go deep…
Y: Hey man, we earned our dues together. No one else has ever done a 90 day stint together like we did.
R: And what a ride it was and still is for me. I need to reread it all again in the moment, to let it in again. The ground we covered in heart and learning was so moving. I think Raphael is the birth of all that we walked out together in words and heart.
Y: So what’s up now, like 365 days with Raphael or something? That sounds really good actually.
R: Well, not so fast…the bigger reason I wanted to connect is that I’m re-releasing the 90 days book and wanted offer a prologue to the new release of our heart and energy together.
Y: Okay, I’m in, but who knows where it might end up going?
R: Why does a part of me have a feeling that you already know the answer to that question?
Y: I know I’m not the same since we connected. Relationship is the great mover, if we’re willing to show up for it.
R: I miss you and our connection when you put it like that. Sometimes it feels like I simply made you up out of my deep longing for real connection.
Y: That’s the deal Wayne, I mean Raphael, you are continually making yourself up and everyone around you for that matter. We don’t perceive people as they are, they are as we perceive them for all intents and purposes, relationally speaking.
R: So then I am making you up…?
Y: Relationally, I can’t be to you anything outside of your perception of me. Christians see me a certain way, the son of an asshole, I might add, and that’s where we end up…talk about ‘made up’ in a right screwed up kind of way.
R: I’m sorry.
Y: Sorry about my edginess?
R: No, not at all, I’m sorry for what you’ve had to endure.
Y: Thank you. I feel over it mostly. And if there’s any of that anger still to work out, It will in its own way and time I trust, probably through relating with you, I might add.
R: That’s touching Yeshua. I’m glad to find our ground again. I want to perceive you as you are, rather than as who I am making you up to be, but you said it doesn’t quite work that way…help me out here if you can…
Y: When you know you are perceiving me through a filter, you become conscious of that filter, and you take ownership of that filter to whatever degree you can…which is primarily simply coming to terms with the truth that your perceiver skews perception, then you are in admission of that, and THAT is what allows for a much deeper and truer knowing.
R: ‘not-knowing my way to knowing’…I know we covered that in 90 Days, more than once. It was an ongoing theme.
Y: So what do you know now Raphael?
R: I know that I don’t know, and that knowledge leads to deep trust and surrender. I know I am loved. I know I live in a perfect and benevolent universe. I know all is love. I know I am infinite love, surrounded by infinite love, sourced from love, returning to love, being re-membered back into infinite love. And all the rest is a stageplay pointing me back to this home over and over again.
Y: Now, you’ve got me worried that I’m just making you up. You are like too good to be true…
R: Well, we’re in good company then, and Yes, I did take in that compliment, and I’m sure I will be for hours or the rest of my life in some way. You are thee coolest guide and heart lover there is.
Y: I’ll bet you say that to all your guides.
R: I do actually. I’ve been introduced to a bunch since I learned to connect with you, and really, thanks to you.
Y: So what would you offer others who are reading this about connection itself? You and I can go on for like days, but I’m feeling to include the readers of our dialogue here to, which we are in our feeling tone energetics together, but what would you say to them directly?
R: I’d like to share with them my experience that all the connection they can imagine, quite literally, is theirs for the letting in. You don’t need to spiritually evolved or enlightened to do this. In fact, it helps a lot if you aren’t any of those bull shit things. You only need desire and willingness and a big dollop of self permission.
Y: Which is all sourced in the self…the desire, willingness and permission,…which makes this something anyone can have, and no one can take away…which is really fucking cool!
R: You don’t even need to have all pretty and polite language…:)
Y: Pretty and polite will keep you outside of this actually. Until, we are ready to feel what’s real down to the core of where we live and what we want, nothing can move. Then no matter how much prettiness is faked on the cake, it just won’t bake. I don’t want to be in any pretense with you Raphael. Wayne and I got into shit fully, with our heart and souls dirty and wrung out where we live.
R: Wayne is moved to tears right now as you just love-waved that. Thank you Yeshua….I love that love isn’t anything we’ve imagined it to be hardly.
Y: Well, he has my deepest respect. He, and you, are deep soul family, and that’s not because we popped out of the same pipe at the same time, but rather because we lived out the same choices and came to the same heart resonance together…and feel called to live that out as a soul gift to others…
R: Why do I always feel so opened out after talking to you?
Y: Well that gets back to not being able to come to know ourselves but through relationship in real life…we just had ourselves a big dose of self reflection and self love together.
R: Yeshua, I think that’s a lot for one day. Are you up for tomorrow?
Y: I am if you are…and you are, I can tell, so I am…
R: Keep an eye for me, I’ll be back soon.
Y: I know you will. I will to.
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and inspiration.