Sometimes Real Love Can Feel Like A Bully

Real love presses and invites with compassionate passion. It wants more of Itself to shine and be shown. When it feels that it is being hidden away, defended, or downplayed, Love goes for the cracks. The places that it can sneak under to find more of Itself to heal and flourish.

To the part of us that takes a defensive stance to being “infiltrated” in the name of self-preservation, it is just wanting what is known to stay in stasis because it is all it has ever known…even if this is suffering or crisis. So if love is advocating for itself, which lies on the other side of those walls, then Love would feel like a bully to this defended part of us.

This can only feel true if there is a bully inside that provokes that response. An experience of being punished or persecuted, either this life or others, creates a knee-jerk protective stance toward anything that feels encroaching our inner sanctum of vulnerability. 

“Tough love” comes to mind when I ponder this more. Tough love has an edge to it that can be an inner punisher part of one person that is using this term as an excuse to off-gas abusive energy. There may be a true loving intention, but this energy can be tainted with some toxicity. If there is an experience of this within a spiritual or psychological framework, your Protector most certainly can have some reaction when Real Love is being offered. 

What is the difference? 

It comes down to feeling your own inner bully dynamic and how that may be being projected out and even drawing these situations. It is also about being vulnerable with the feeling of being bullied that draws out this inner energy. There is a sorting out that takes place to parcel out what is “tough” and what is “real”. Real love can be intense and may be tough to a part of us, but it is never toxic or rough. It does not pry or demand, but invites and passionately advocates. 

In any authentic and safe healing space, the healer must also be in tune with their own emotional and spiritual bodies and be willing to feel and see their own “stuff” that may be a part of any advocacy or difficult love offering. This allows the protective part of the one receiving healing and guidance to feel safe and open. 

This is why those of us in SoulFullHeart are always asking ourselves, and each other, if where we are coming from has tinges of an energy that may feel “off” so that we can feel how that may be affecting our facilitation. As a community, it is a system of checks and balances that is about our own personal growth as well as our commitment to being the most authentic healing modality out there. 

If you have experienced this wound of toxic love, my heart goes out to you. I am sorry that happened. I want to invite that part of you to experience something different and possible. Something genuine and real. Something that leads you to experience a new relationship to the pain and trauma, with transparency, honesty, and heart-open advocacy.

******

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

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Class Action Love Suit

By Raphael Awen

Anxiety and depression coming up are at first seen to be related to how one feels about this life.

Looking deeper and feeling deeper, one can see how these feelings also stem from the Metasoul – Mirroring aspects of our wider self, in other timelines often holding karmic binds, an expectation of things going wrong.

Karma’s whole point was to bring us to remorse and reconciliation from this polarized extremity and duality of living as if one could harm an other and reframe from harming self.

Feeling the deeper soul’s sorry, one moves the karmic binds from a kind of class action law suit arrayed against you, to a kind of class action love suit, where victim and perpetrator recreate and rewrite the story to one of deep love through the inseparable bond of karma.

I felt this while feeling my Atlantean Metasoul aspect today, who I’ve come to know as Mordecai. At first, it was simply a heightened energy of fearing outcomes. I even had a moment of ‘for no reason’, fearing the car breaking down while driving yesterday, along with other feelings of circumstances turning negative. I was able to feel into this karmic expectation backlash that this was about the reality that Mordecai created for himself, and to feel this all with him and create a new unfolding timeline of deep remorse, asking forgiveness, receiving it and now allowing for the Karmic binds to be transformed into alchemical Karmic love binds.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Being In The Void Space As You Move From 3D To 4D

By Jelelle Awen

The void space….the space ‘left behind’ when your soul wakes up inside of your 3D life and your consciousness shifts into fourth dimensional (4D) and you make choices to align with your soul frequency. I feel 4D as a consciousness phase of much sorting through, learning and re-education about the ‘real’ world from the one you’ve been taught. It is a phase of seeing the false matrix and understanding WHY it has been chosen and feeling its impact on your reality and unplugging from it. 4D waters your ‘rebel’ and the void is what happens as you push away from 3D.

The void is the space that happens when you let go of something you don’t want in order to let in more of what you do but the something new hasn’t come quite yet or not consistently. In this void, you are no longer your 3D version of who you used to be and yet you are not yet your 5D/higher self coming into your body version that you most want to be either. You are in transition and in between, moving back and forth between the ‘worlds’ and riding the waves of consciousness states related to this.

The void space is what arises as your higher self and soul lead you through the awakening process of deconstruction, dismantling what has been to allow what wants to BE to arise into your life. In this process of deconstruction, you are letting go of 3D beliefs and ideas, you are sloughing off conditionings that no longer fit. This can be a VERY painful process at times as so many parts of you are identified with and attached to these 3D energies and the emotional body purges out all you’ve ingested as you detach. Of course parts of you are attached to 3D because they have HAD to be in order to survive in the dense 3D experiment that you signed up for to grow and to learn.

This attachment to 3D frequencies can especially be felt in ‘long-term relationships’ that have run out of resonant ground, yet continue on from mostly past energies and associations. These relationships can provide an anchor into 3D that feels safe and good to parts of you (especially younger aspects such as the Inner Child and Inner Teenager) as these are the dominant energies that have needed them.

The void comes from completing relationships like this, from moving on from 3D-based careers and businesses, from leaving familiar geographies, from shifting livelihood means. The impact of these choices is your process for quite awhile…the mourning, the negotiating, the eventual letting go. The letting go and more letting go as feelings of isolation, rejection, abandonment, unworthiness, disconnect all come UP from your emotional body to be felt with each movement.

So, then, what is meant to come and FILL this void and this space that has been freed up from all this letting go? When SO MUCH has been let go of…….then WHAT?

This has come up many times in sessions as a response to souls who have so courageously given up and completed what hasn’t felt like them as they integrate their soul awakenings into their world. And, then, the ‘now what?’ comes up as a pressing question because they may feel the completion of the lone wolf phase and their cozy cave existence that they have so needed to be in while they went through this 4D deconstruction.

However, remaining too long in the void while feeling loneliness or blocked by anxiety about moving on or existential tensions (fear to move into surrender of the Divine) or stuck in scarcity or lack (which comes naturally as you let go especially of 3D secure money earning) may keep you stuck or capped in your growth if it continues on without inner negotiation.

I’m sharing about this as I feel many souls may be at this place in the moment. I WAS at this place of void many times in my awakening journey where ‘now what?’ was the pressing question. Some souls may be here after many years of letting go and the ‘being in two worlds’ reality. Surrendering into what love wants to bring you now and where it wants to bring you comes from negotiation and feeling with the parts of you that are afraid, stuck, tense, anxious about moving out of the void and into the NEW.

Ultimately, we are invited to let go in order to then let in. Love wants to come and fill this VOID now. Love wants to move you into your HIGHEST reality in all moments. Love wants to fill the void that you’ve created by your soul choices. Love in the form of sacred union relationships with a mate, with friendships, with commUNITY. In the form of service of love in the soul purpose form that you are meant to offer it and then receive abundance in exchange for offering it. In the form of sharing your gifts with the world in the ways you are called to and letting in gifts in return. In the form of giving love and receiving love in transactions that serve love.

Moving into receiving mode and sharing mode is the next place beyond the void where you are FILLING up again….only, this time, with the most nourishing frequencies of LOVE!!

There is more in this article about the 3D/4D/5D selves in expression in the seven key areas of life that may help you identify how your 4D transition is playing out: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/3d4d5dselvesquestions

Jelelle Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.com
We offer the letting in of love through sessions, group calls, retreats/gatherings, community: soulfullheartwayoflife.com

 

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about 1:1 individual sessions with her and other SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Lion’s Gate Completes With Many Gifts Offered

By Jelelle Awen

This Lioness Queen is going on a four day vacation to our beloved Salt Spring Island with her Lion King today….feels so appropriate on the ‘last’ night of the Lion’s Gate opening. The energies continue to download and activate from Sirius always and in all ways, I’m told, all you have to do is connect with your aspect from there as I’ve been doing with mine called Sela these last days.

I really feel that these days of the Lion’s Gate have been marked by a specialness, an acceleration of our personal processes AND the collective process….Ascension Christmas! I personally have received many gifts of rebooting, clarifying, support, validation, and huge waves of love energy as a reflection of goodness about what I am offering through SoulFullHeart as my service of love offering to the world.

And. there were raw but really good processes in there too for Raphael and me as we open up into a deeper level of co-leadership of SoulFullHeart going forward, completing a seven year cycle of its inception and seeding phase. We cleared a deeper karmic pattern between us in a specific metasoul timeline/lifetime that has been conscious between us for many years. With this clearing, there is more space for our collaboration and also individual passions to arise as we move into the next seven year cycle together.

We got to host two groups together during Lion’s Gate, one here in Victoria, BC and one on zoom…giving us more sense of our higher timeline serving love together from the overflow of our sacred union. You can purchase the recording of our powerful Lion’s Gate group transmission from 8/8 here btw if you want to take it in: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/shop

Changes in eating patterns, changes in sleeping patterns, changes in relationship patterns, changes in passion purpose expression……perhaps you experienced some or all of these during this lion/lioness’ time. These changes all seem to support the enLIGHTenment of our hearts, souls, minds, and bodies as we continue on this path of ascension…and allow us to flow more with it as it is accelerating. What has anchored us to the old, to the 3D life..is being lifted and more let go of.

There was lots of purging and cleansing on many levels….cellular to social to emotional to physical during this passageway as well. You may have felt deep sadness at times as the collective sadness/cries of the world moved through your higher heart space as it activated next level.

I feel immensely blessed in this now for the unity in my life, the abundance in my life, and the abundant unity too! Love to you on this last eve of Lion’s gate….may you find and use and connect with both your ROAR and your PURR! ❤ ❤

We are also headed to Salt Spring to feel into places we want to go to for activations, ceremony, etc. during our one day trip here during our Equinox Gathering next month from September 20-23. There is more info here if you’d like to join us for four days of magic, activation, DEEP processing, community experience, etc. https://www.facebook.com/events/595200351002134/

Much Love,

Jelelle Awen

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about 1:1 individual sessions with her and other SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Your Great Awakening And Disclosure Are At Hand

The recent suicide by Jeffery Epstein is rumbling throughout the collective and is casting a huge spotlight on nature of this case and the ‘powers that be’. For many, this is not a huge surprise considering the magnitude of what he represented. It is right there for all of us to see.

No, there is no particular evidence to suggest otherwise, though I am sure there are some making their way. As we learned from the JFK assassination, 9/11, and numerous other events, this will be muddied before it will be made clear. That can be guaranteed.

However, the collective can ‘feel’ it. They can sense it. It has ‘no duh’ written all over it. We are being messaged from the ruling class that they still have control, even as they are losing it. So now there will be a show. An extravaganza with all the makings of a daytime drama we will not be able to peel ourselves from. Huge stores of time, money, and energy will be expended from all sides. The crowd will gather at the coliseum with torches, pitchforks, and cellphones in hand.

While we are gathered, the game continues. The divide widens. Yet, it can be different. We can take this as a sign of the times. Something is rumbling. It is coming down. As the pieces fall there is going to be damage. There will be a chaotic feeling in the air as the shadow plays itself out in full form.

To move through it, we must move with it. It is through coming into our own shadow and feeling where the disclosure within still lies. What you can see, feel, and relate to within you with Love and Compassion will be the tools you apply in the Great Awakening. The time when what the collective has been asleep to and unconsciously complacent in comes to the forefront.

We all have a part to play in this. Some came to do the work of exposing the details. Others are here to be exposed, and many are here to be the balm after the bomb. If you are one of those, your mission, if you choose to take it, is to feel and know the real you. Not just the good, but the not-so-good. The wounded, the abuser, the controller, the ugly, the evil. They live in us as it lives ‘out there’.

Watch the events from a distance, but stay on course. Hold the Light into the Dark. As it shines brighter it causes the rumbles to happen faster but it is what you came here to do. To move out of the 4D paintrix and into the New 5D embodied God and Goddess you have always been. Let the reactions lead you within and then into this Divine frequency.

Your own Disclosure is at hand.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Receiving The Gift Of The Current Lion’s Gate Portal

By Raphael Awen

There’s a ton of support available in what’s called the Lion’s Gate Portal, that is at its height today on the numerologically significant date of 8/8, a period that opened on July 25th and remains open until August 16th.

During this time, there is loving support to access connection with your Higher Self and feel through current life changes from a more expansive, heart open place.

One evidence of this can be counterintuitive, in that feelings of heightened despair or longings can come up to the surface that usually remain subconscious to you and off your radar. If this is happening for you, you are being invited to feel this as a big invitation into a solid step forward. You don’t need to pave over any part of you to get to any higher ground.

I had a profound and deeply touching experience yesterday that was a long time in coming, and deeply treasured that has to do with serving men.

I’ve felt for many years a resonance with King Arthur and Camelot, which was about a deep lament over the loss of this powerful round table of men united in purpose and vision. With the help of the Lion’s Gate Portal, (along with some help from Jelelle), I was able to feel the heightened sadness, as well as an ease and grace to connect way more directly with King Arthur, simply through my Metasoul connection with him. As we felt through and discussed together the reactions that he has simmered in for a long time, his heart was able to rise again, back to vision and to the powerful service of love self that he has wanted to activate beyond the failed right/wrong picture that he previously served under.

This makes for what feels like a ton of freed up energy in my soul field that I can feel already shifting my relationship and experiences to come in serving men in particular. Men have been conspicuously absent from heart based explorations in comparison to women, and that is in the process of changing, I feel.

Be sure to give whatever attention and heart space you can to this opportunity today and into the next 8 days to come.

Join Jelelle Awen and I today! for Lion’s Gate at 10:00am PDT over zoom for a powerful group transmission event! We will connect to the 4D matrix to unplug from it and bridge to the higher frequency Lion’s Gate codes themselves, opening the higher heart. You can join us live or receive the recording for $15 CAD/$11 USD offering the donation here: paypal.me/jelelleawen or here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/shop

more info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/2168911176740089/

Photo courtesy of https://unsplash.com/@nerdist0014

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Message From Leo On The Lion’s Gate

On this day of August 8, I felt to tap into the message of the Lion. He is inviting us to lead ourselves into a new relationship with our experience of life and Gaia as we have known it. He is about finding our courage and strength and feeling all that we need to feel during this highly transformative time.

What wounds and pains, both this and other lives, are looking to be heard and felt at this time?

What resistance is showing up inside of us that keeps us from fully inhabiting the largess and love sponges we are?

This is not an easy choice to make going INto the pain, not to suffer, but to heal. To reveal. To discover. It leads us into our jungle and arises as the king and queen of our truest dreams and inner knowing.

You may be invited to make some difficult choices along the way. We can not have things stay the same and expect them to be different. Leading your way into your next emotional and spiritual growth terrain is what Leo is offering and guiding us toward. Healing your way to passion, purpose, and the remembrance of magic.

From denser energy to a higher vibration.

From care-taking to self-actualization.

From being alone to being in community and sacred passionate romance!

At some point today, take some time to tap into your wildest dreams, the savannah of your imagination. Drink the water of your open and plentiful heart and let it fill you with the ‘roar for more’ even as they show up in tears. This is your time to have it All when you are ready to feel it All.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. 

Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

 

 

Increasing Light Exposing The Dark Knight: Response To Mass Shootings

Somehow this is becoming a tragic reality of the unfolding drama within a country. Within humanity. After two back-to-back shootings on the heals of another just days earlier, it becomes clearer that a country is on a verge. I say a country because the US leads the world in these types of events. The mass shooting. The most numbers in one incident happened in Norway, but the volume of incidents and deaths happen in the US. 

It is also by the hands of men. Young men who all had deep emotional issues prior to the event. They have been described as outside the bounds of intimate community with a deep feeling of rejection and disenfranchisement. Yes, they are mostly white, and many have used their own hate as the fuel for their actions. The hate has been both indiscriminate and specific. We are all affected. 

I get that there is a war going on. It is undeniable to me. It is going on in the heart and soul of a populace of men. This saddens me deeply. It has edges of despair and hopelessness at times. These men have faced their own experience with violence and feeling unloved. When a part of them feels rejected, either by an individual or a group, this part needs to find a way to get its power back. It is a dark knight that seeks the throne of attention in any way it can, and being steeped in violence it has the means already at hand. 

This is a Violence Matrix. One that permeates the heart and soul of the wounded masculine. This aspect of men is permeable to influence in order to feel power. They can become pawns in a much larger game going on. They can create useful distractions and reactions that lead toward a specific goal. It is a soul history of being a soldier for The Cause. A 4D matrix that has deep roots. This is where the healing is if we can get there. The one great effect we have as men is to go into this and find out where that wound lives. That disempowerment, that rage, that violence. 

We all have our reactions to this from despair to indignation. When this happens the Rage of Change comes out loud and clear, but until we learn to love our own Dark Knight the cycle seems to keep recurring. As Gaia continues to enter more and more of the photonic light belt, we are going to see increased exposure of what lies deep within our collective shadow. These men are us. If we disconnect from them, we disconnect from a deeply wounded part of us seeking Love. We disconnect from a soul brother that is still in war and in battle. Fighting for his continued right to hate himself above all else. This brings me to tears. This brings me to wanting to love him and give him a home. No gun control legislation can heal this, even if it can stem it. 

We are being given the opportunity to feel something deeper. This is what Disclosure is offering us. It is not pretty. It is not overly welcome. But it is real and we need to face it. Otherwise, the wheel goes around one more time.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

 

Lion’s Gate Energy To Activate And Empower The Inner Masculine

This upcoming Lion’s Gate feels like a very activating and empowering portal. We are being offered the support to go in and access where we are still recapitulating dynamics and patterns in our emotional body and Metasoul. These cycles are looking to complete with love and compassion and reemerge into new cycles of higher manifestations and empowered, self-loving choices.

The inner masculine provides the ‘juice’ for this transition transmission. It creates the container by which the healing and emerging can deepen. If you feel like there a block to manifesting or moving into your next phase of growth, there is a part of you that has a resistance to that.

It can be a Protector/Gatekeeper that knows what is possible if that container is created. It means you have the ways and means to get even more intimate with yourself and your shadow. It also means that you have more to ‘lose’ if you are successful at the manifestation of what it is you truly want.

With each portal we are being shown what it is we need to go into to further this ascension process. Subconsciously we have some clue and THAT is what scares us. Going in it is what brings us to the other side, but do we have just enough worth to bring the unworth with us and see what happens?

This is a great time to feel what it is you really want out of life. Put in your Christmas list now as the Universe, and our Sirian aspects, want to give it to us! It is all right here for each of us to grab. Santa’s bag is an Infinite well of goodies! This is where it can feel too good to be true for many parts and aspects of you anchored in the unworth and scarcity.

Tapping into your Sirian guides, your inner masculine/feminine, inner child/teenager, and Protector/Gatekeeper can help bring clarity to what has kept you from fully inhabiting and claiming what it is you really want and believe you can be.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Energy Update: Support To Breathe & Digest Through Lion’s Gate Momentum

By Kalayna Solais

It’s good to sleep/rest as much as you can right now to help ease the activations in… taking space for yourself feels so necessary and IS so necessary to give you space to feel and BE even if your life is typically ‘busy’. This breathing and feeling space is meant to give you the opportunity to heal AS the activations continue, because what they are activating is not meant to make you or parts of you suffer, though the ‘pressure cooker’ feeling of these activations that can spark some sense of urgency about your next steps is very real too.

This urgency though, is not about something outside of you giving you an ultimatum (though that may manifest if necessary to help you move into something new). Rather, this urgency is coming up from inside of your heart and soul. It’s showing you that what you’re living right now is not enough in many ways. Parts of you may feel guilty that their loyalty to different things, jobs, people is being challenged by new desires arising and being REALized too.

The arising of the truth of what you’ve come here to do and become is not something easily ignored, especially during such activating portal phases as Lion’s Gate. What feelings about your life have parts of you been working so hard to bury or put aside? Reactions of anxiety and depression, if they’re coming up rather strongly right now, are also pointing you in a direction of feeling the GOODNESS of feeling these emotions! They are such spectacular markers of what’s not going the way your soul needs and wants it to go in your life. These feelings are from the rumble within and the fears of parts of you that either things are always just going to be the same, or change will come too quickly. The best thing you can offer them is space to feel with you, to be loved by you, in all they’re feeling… every ounce of fear and disdain, resentment and hope.

There’s always deeper to dig and more layers to feel.

A lion’s ROAR cuts through the din and exposes the truth. And the roar of our Sirian beloveds is here to encourage us to keep going inward to find the truthiest truth within.

Your truth of heart and soul longing and needs is being brought forward, supported, amplified in ways unexpected. There’s so much support available to bridge you to your new timeline. All of the grieving and potential loss is worth the discovery of your vulnerable strength and resilience that comes from deep within… places that have often not yet been explored or felt.

MUCH love to you on your journey… my beloveds and I are here should you desire support for the continued illumination and living out of all of these pieces (and parts): soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.