By Raphael Awen
Why do men tend to shy away from spirituality and emotionality in comparison to women?
Pardon the generalization as it’s of course not true in all cases, but it is true enough for it to be a recognizable pattern.
I’m feeling a desire to rile men, to stir their deeper heart passion for what they really want. I feel a reaching out for a deeper inhabitation of my own sacred masculinity. I feel a deeper wanting of men to come out and really play! I too, have a desire inside of me somewhere to conform, I just want to conform to a new standard of being as the old ones are dying fast.
What is it about the needs in a man vs a woman that naturally dispose them towards these differences?
Are men afraid of inadequacy in the arena of heart and soul?
Are men afraid to feel? And if so, why?
Can a man sustain a hardon and a hearton at the same time?
Are men afraid that there won’t be enough of a ground for a worthy fight, for a contention, for a passionate claiming and pursuit of what they want in the arena of heart and soul?
Is spirituality and emotionality too wimpy feeling for them? Why and how so?
Why is vulnerability (the ability to be hurt) mistaken for weakness in men?
Jelelle Awen and I were talking yesterday about the daily flow of new names of men in the news lately being charged with sexual harassment, and how it is almost unheard of to hear about women being aggressors in this way? Add to that the rarity of a woman rapist? Add to that men’s draw to porn over women’s? (I wrote a piece about that here: https://soulfullheartblog.com/…/why-men-are-drawn-to-porns…/ ) It’s evident the archetypal ground underneath us is rumbling big time. The mighty are falling and we are feeling it.
We are in the middle of a huge collective birth canal that is tied to our personal birth canals. Thank god for the decks being cleared of the pretense, making room for something so much more real, but where is it all leading?
I don’t know the surface answers to these questions, as I so prefer the quest of the questions, but I do smell fear of some kind. Why else would men energize their fearlessness in other (ie. money and career, and in my opinion, lesser) arenas, while avoiding the spiritual and the emotional?
Isn’t this simply a pretense of power; a compensation to keep a deeper fear off their radar?
How could the more male passion to achieve, or to provide, be an integrous blend of deep heart and soul that doesn’t need a safe compartmentalization in order to express powerfully?
Parts of us have understandably adapted by grabbing at the collective ideas of womanhood and manhood as a map to know where the landmines are, to avoid rejection and gain love, often in the form of just some sniff of love of a cultural pat on the back.
Where this whole dialogue becomes more than a dialogue, and finds a deep traction of movement is when you as a man get to know and love the part of you stumbling around in this other hand-me-down man’s arena, that isn’t really yours. A part of you is nearing exhaustion, or may even be totally checked out, just putting in time, afraid of the more overt forms of suicide.
Will you recognize this? Will you cast off other men’s comparison games that aren’t you at all? Will you fight for who and what you really are?
‘You’ may well feel like you don’t know who you are; as a man, or as a human. But this is clearly the feelings of a part of you, not YOU, that has become disillusioned.
Can you begin to make this critical differentiation inside of yourself? I ask you this because I feel it to be the ongoingly mission critical point of my entire journey here. I needed to adapt parts of myself, to fuse them to a ‘lower’ reality, in order to gain what I came here to gain. Now though, it is time to reconcile all these parts of myself into the new emerging ‘higher’ timeline or reconciliation. We were dis-membered in order to be re-membered, and we chose it. We know this on a soul level, as a soul being and we know this on a personal level, as a human being. Both need space and time to be felt. Hence, here we are, still in the domain of space and time.
YOU as a Higher Self will need to enter this place of differentiation, and then negotiation and ambassadorship between these parts of you, then choice, intention and declaration if there is to be any growth or change. Were you actually looking for something easier? I don’t think so, or you wouldn’t have been going about it the harder way that you have up till now?
None of this can effectively be bullied into place by a punishing part of you, or it’s just another compensation approach to covering over a deeper fear. YOU can instead get to know the checked out part of you, get to know the bully inside that wants to order and mandate it all, get to know the part of you who simply doesn’t give a fuck; and then from there, lead a true declaration of heart that stems from this arising you-to-you Ambassadorship.
Choice, desire and intention are huge here, but these cannot be faked into place from a few pages from a book plucked from the self-help section. Not anymore. We’re collectively coming to the end of something and awaiting the arising of the beginning of something that will take its place. That something is already in you and available to you now. You just won’t find it on the street corner yet.
There has never been a time like this time for you as a man to go for what you really want. There are ripe and key choice points staring you down right now that are directly tied to your choosing of this more. You have the guidance. You have the courage. But it goes nowhere until you make the choice.
Courage and guidance are gifts to you from the universe. Choice is the gift you exchange with the universe in return as the sovereign that you are. The universe can not and will not make these changes for you. Expecting the universe to make changes that only you can make is only a way to obscure your response-ability, and leaves you in a child’s relationship to authority. You are the author now.
What action is the universe calling you to? That’s your full manhood right there calling to you for embrace. I promise you that this ride truly has everything you are looking for, so much so, that choosing this ride will be the most adventurous choice you’ve ever made.
SoulFullHeart is one process that unfolds this journey for men. I am one who serves that process. If you are one who wants to trade in this currency and in this arena, I’d love to serve you.
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.