A Soul’s Declaration

“I am a Knight and Priest of The Magdalene Order of the Rose”. Those are words that came to me this morning in meditation. This could be Metasoul brother of mine, or it could be a soul awakening. Or both. When I let those words as a code enter my being, I felt different. I felt a coming home to myself within my masculine and feminine. 

Lately, I have been listening to music that has been connecting me to multiple masculine aspects within myself in multiple timelines. A Druid priest and teacher, an Essene co-leader, a knight of Arthur’s Round Table, and a Templar monk/knight. I have felt them surrounding my feminine in a calling for reconciliation and integration. I have let that process just unfurl itself through occasional journaling, meditating, and compassionate curiosity. 

Yesterday, I spent some time with my soul brothers Raphael and James on the Abbey grounds here in Glastonbury/Avalon. I could feel multiple timelines in our connection together. In a circle with Yeshua, around a fire as knights and a king, as priests/monks pontificating on the nature of and duty toward God. All of this supported what was going on inside of me as a background process until it was ready to come into clearer view for myself. 

I am a part of a lineage of male and female Metasouls that have devoted themselves to the process of embodied death and rebirth, of the ways of the mystery schools, and of the sacred feminine/masculine and Divine Mother/Father. This lineage is encoded in my cells as it is all those that are a part of it. From this I have become more clear as to who I am and what I am here to serve. 

I am not a practitioner. I am not just a healer. I am a leader, a teacher, and a student of this initiative order of Divine and Galactic revelation. It is deeply connected to many inter-galactic ‘races’ such as Sirian, Pleidian, Arcturian, Lyran, Orion, and others. It is a path to the embodiment and remembrance of these lineages, timelines, and families. They are seeking a greater reconciliation as well. 

I feel a renewed reverence for what I have been called to serve through this journey with Jelelle, Raphael, and Kasha (and recently, James). They have been the biggest teachers and mirrors to me as well as my Higher Self and the Divine when I was not in contact with them. It has all been an undulating path back to clarity. I am grateful for it as I can serve those undulations and see where they may lead for others. 

So in the end here, I guess this is my Mission Statement. This is what I am here to ‘do’, Be, and embody more and more. It is a call to other men and women who feel a resonance with that clarity and declaration. Who feel guided to heal the wounds within that lead to greater revelation about who and what they are meant to be and serve within that lineage of the Magdalenes and their galactic counterparts. I look forward to the new chapter that serves me, you, and the Divine whenever and however that reveals itself.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Reunification & Reconciliation Of The Inner Masculine/Feminine

This geography is bringing up so much around what I feel is a reunification of the masculine and feminine within. I have been working with the inner feminine for some time now and it is ticking up a notch and a half since I have been here.

But this ‘working’ is not just some generalized notion of ‘The Feminine’, but rather a very specific relationship with a part or aspect of me in a more intimate way. It is ‘my feminine’. I don’t mean that possessively, but rather more personally. They have a name and a frequency just like any person I may have a relationship with.

This has taken some time for my masculine parts to let in, yet has brought with it so many gifts for them. There is something to lean into and to learn from that has been a bit out of their grasp of conditioned consciousness. There is a need and desire for reconciliation and reunification on both sides.

I feel this feminine aspect really desiring this attention and cultivation. She wants to help bridge the gap with my inner masculine aspects that have some things to clear around the repression (and fear!) of her and The Feminine in general. I feel this process actually landing me in more of a union and dance of gendered poles rather than a blending of the two in some unisexual way.

I will do this through journaling, meditation, and bringing as much of them into my waking reality as I can. As this communion deepens, I feel I will be present to my own needs for romance and service as they will each bring their own gifts and passions.

I want to thank Raphael Awen for being a model and bridge to this inner love affair that offers so much for my sacred masculine embodiment that is personal to me and not some archetypal masculine that feels inauthentic to my parts. I look forward to sharing more about this ongoing healing between these very powerful energies.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Bridging The Masculine & Feminine In Avalon

In the Heart of Avalon the energy of the sacred feminine runs deep. As a man it can bring up many different feelings and reactions. For me it has been a toggle between feeling at home and feeling amiss, like I don’t quite fit in.

The dance of the masculine and feminine within comes to the surface to be felt and called into union. I feel these aspects inside of me vying for attention and healing. A priestess energy that has been with me for some time yet is ripe for more relationship in this geography.

Then there is the architecture of the wounded masculine exemplified by the church tower on top of the Tor. It activates a priest and Roman aspect that feel the uneasy feeling of walking these lands remembering the ways in which the dominating culture created a veil to the magic of the time.

The beauty of it all is that I get to bridge those two together into my heart rather than be caught in the space between. I can bring them together in sacred ceremony as I sit here wide awake in the middle of the night. I am on a different clock now and that is the timepiece of the soul

I am here to feel. Here to heal myself as well as the collective masculine so that I may serve those knights of heart that feel the same calling within despite all the din and distraction. The sacred masculine is rising and has a journey toward and with the feminine. It is here and cannot be stopped, only resisted.

I am blessed to be here. I want to share my journey and serve the wisdom and love that arises from it. I have a purpose and the Divine has a plan of which I am only partially privy to. My masculine is acclimating to that while my feminine is revelling.

In the middle is the flow of Life.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Masculine & Feminine Interdependence

by Raphael Awen

An impulse to do something, to express something is a masculine kind of outbound energy. This energy needs and requires a feminine inbound energy of being and letting-in to sustain and validate its need to do and express.

The masculine doing and expressing by itself runs out of gas, and must vulnerably return to the feminine to get its needs met.

Likewise, the feminine inbound energy of letting in love and ability to BE in being wants to express and do as a natural extension of itself. The feminine however can’t disconnectedly express and do just for the sake of feeling powerful, or worthy, or right. It wants and needs a higher frequency.

In this way, the masculine and the feminine are interdependent, and in that, we see the basis for Sacred Union, within each of us, for we all possess both masculine and feminine aspects/polarities of being – each of which longs for union, for a higher way.

The incompleteness of one is the portal to the other.

Vulnerability (the ability to admit need) is the grace that permits the masculine and feminine to find Sacred Union dance.

This is true inside and outside.

Maybe the most powerful common denominator between the masculine and feminine is this shared mutual need – this wound state one remains in without the other.

This energy feels so palpable to me since arriving here in Glastonbury in the UK, a place of deep feminine energies and converging soul aspect timelines. One can feel the still unresolved lingering between the feminine and the masculine wanting to find its reunion in actual transactional grounds of real people expressions and relationships.

We are this coming together. We are the cast and crew of this production being put on by consciousness itself.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of SoulFullHeart. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

The Vulnerability Of The Masculine Relating To The Feminine

by Raphael Awen

The masculine in its ability and desire to provide is a great thing in and of itself, which we all have inside of ourselves regardless of gender.

Where the masculine gets into conflict is when it needs to find, maintain and suppress a dependent feminine in order to keep his gig working. Eventually this comes to a demise and both the masculine and the feminine are afforded an opportunity to restructure – vulnerably admit their fears, needs and desires to find a new way, or at least a completion of the old to eventually allow a new way to arise.
The masculine has a particular challenge in that it was born of a feminine womb and yoni from which it wants and needs to separate, to define itself, to be different enough to create attraction in order to be afforded a partaking of that exquisite feminine while it is trying at the same time to differentiate itself from and pretend to not need.

The more the masculine leads in the world with his power, attainments and capabilities, the more he is trying and still needing/seeking feminine love, as it is only the feminine than can give all that power and attainment meaning, yet he is not quite ready, or sufficiently aware to transparently and open heartedly admit the true nature of that need.

This dynamic takes a quantum leap forward when the masculine is ready to feel, ready to vulnerably admit need and desire to himself, his innerverse, his inner feminine, and then energetically and emotionally to the feminine in his outerverse, his universe – yoniverse.

When you get that sorted a bit, all lovemaking and love getting strategies take care of themselves, effortlessly as you have it aced inside, which is a very cool feeling for the masculine – doing something really stunningly well!

***

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of SoulFullHeart. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

The Challenge To Feel (VIDEO): Conversations With Men

“Feeling is really hard! It is really challenging!”

These were words I spoke in the third video of the Conversations With Men series with Raphael Awen. In it we talk about the challenges for many of us, especially men, to get down to deep and vulnerable feeling. To actually feel our feelings.

Raphael mentions in the beginning that we are all emotive beings in constant feeling. The question is are we really feeling the feelings and being honest and vulnerable with them? What is feeling as opposed to reactions and/or states of being?

As boys (and girls, too!) we are conditioned to suppress our more sensitive emotions, our true heart reality. This suppression tends to result in anger or depression (numbness), or both! Rage becomes an emotion that is normalized in men rather than hurt.

The inner boy’s feelings are not welcome and sequestered to the shadow where hurt foments into rage. A protection forms that pushes away or shuts down in a myriad of ways. For the more spiritually inclined man, the activation of the upper chakras in cahoots with the lower chakras can create a bypassing of the most human heart chakra.

This may form as an abusive teacher/healer/mate. A narcissism is formed as a protection against feeling the pain of the inner boy’s trauma. There may be a self-destructive path that leads to addictions, self/other-harm, or possible suicide (one of the leading causes of death among younger men).

If we could create an environment where it is safe for men to feel what they are feeling as they are feeling it, with the ability to process those feelings as parts of themselves rather than being fused to them, I believe we would see a new calvary of men that have the wear-with-all to co-create a new world with the feminine in sacred collaboration.

A tall order? Maybe. A deep desire and need? Yes. I feel the challenges, I am challenged, yet with the support of like-hearted men and women in community, I am finding my way. I believe that other men too could find their way when the desire to truly heal the heart becomes the single most important thing they feel they can offer the world.

Please check out our video for more conversation and please share with other men that you feel would be interested in this mission of deep soul and heart transformation. Comments and questions are deeply invited.

Thank you for being on this journey with us. 🙂

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Lion’s Gate Crop Circle Update: Sacred Masculine Activations To Heal The Love Of Power – August 9, 2020

By Jelelle Awen

A new and dynamic crop circle formation has been reported today August 9th at Woolstone Wells, Nr Uffington Castle, Oxfordshire, UK! This one ‘appeared’ most likely overnight during the peak of this Lion’s Gateway that we are still within.

I felt a strong activation from this formation immediately, stimulating energy already running up and down the spine as it comes in/downloads through the upper chakras (Personal Sun, Soul Star and Crown). I felt a sacred masculine frequency to this (rather than Kundalini/Divine Feminine) that seems to originate from the Great Cosmic Sun in alignment with the powerful Sirius energies.

These are energies of Divine Father support, love, and goodness to heal the wounded masculine that impacts and effects and lives within us all personally and collectively. Sirius Lion energies are of the healthy, noble, and humble leader…..the empathetic, compassionate and vulnerable king.

Healing the love of power seems to be an aspect of the energies being offered right now during this Lion’s Gate as we see so much of this struggle in our world right now. The Matrix is fed by the love of power over others and the ‘attainment’ of it. It collapses as each of us chooses on a soul level to align with the power of love instead….the only TRUE and INFINITE and PURE power in the Universe. All other forms of power are illusionary, temporary, and ultimately dissatisfying to the soul.

Each soul is walking out this journey of discovery for themselves and in their own timing. Those of us who have been anchored into the power of love frequencies through a LONG deconstruction and purification process over many lifetimes can radiate out this possibility to all those who need to receive it.

Radiating out love rather than absorbing fear supports us too during this transitional time.

I feel so much love for the masculine with this formation and available with Divine Father in this Now, with our soul aspects who are masculine, with the Lion Sirius energies, with men and for the inner masculine within us all!

What do you see and feel from this one?

Here is the aerial footage of it: https://youtu.be/0Ah89xTj2eY

I shared more about the Lion’s Gateway, recent crop circle formations, and a message from my Sirius aspect Sela here: https://soulfullheartblog.com/…/lions-gate-crop-circles-up…/

love,
Jelelle Awen

More information on group calls, writings/books including my latest book Free To Be 5D, 1:1 sessions and more at soulfullheart.org.

Initiation As A Rite Of Embodied Self-Realization

We are always in phases of initiation whether we consciously choose them or not. The cycles of initiation lead us to Realization. We may spend years in a cycle until we are ready to graduate and move on to integration, only to be met by another cycle of initiation.

The Initiations are varied, specific to your soul needs and wounding. Crucibles arise when we are ready to fully embody the lessons of the initiation itself. We face intimacy initiations, leadership initiations, truth-telling, boundary, and courage initiations. All of them meant to challenge our way to the next level of our growth and maturation as an ego and a soul.

Sometimes we choose our initiations and sometimes they choose us, all orchestrated by the soul. These are meant for the parts, or Metasoul aspects, of us still stuck in a suffering loop or pattern. These loops are centered around something usually very traumatic which makes it that much harder to go into to heal free from.

The emotional body is where you may find the biggest anchors, the largest obstacles to these graduations and self-realizations. We can all achieve temporal states of bliss and Oneness, but the bigger plan is to fully EMBODY Samadhi in the physical. To be walking, conscious Divinity in the Now.

So from here to there, we have work to do. Things to feel, trauma and fear to heal, desires to express, and dreams to manifest. We have initiations to attend to, graduations to celebrate, and integrations to soak in. This is a journey, not a rocket launch. Yet the more you let in what the heart and soul needs and wants, and walk out those initiations with self-care, the faster the healing and shifts can occur.

As has been said many times, it is not the product but the process, and that process is Initiation.


For more about the SoulFullHeart Process and Paradigm, I highly recommend Jelelle Awen’s new book, Free To Be 5D. Visit soulfullheart.org/books for more info.

There will also be a 6-week Zoom call series about the book beginning next Wednesday, July 15. For more info go to soulfullheart.org/freetobe5dgroupcallseries

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Ahimsa: Healing The Inner Violence To Feel Our Non-Violence

Ahimsa. It is a Sanskrit word that means “non-injury” or “non-violence”. In my recent process of diving into sexual and emotional trauma as a young boy and teen, I have been able to access the more innocent and essential aspect of me.

This In-Essence, I am calling it, is so very sensitive yet strong and enduring. When I tap into it, I feel how much violence I have learned to be with this life, and many others. This is true for all of us when we get to this very kernel of our Being. When I go outside, I am aware of the violence all around. Things that I would not have deemed as violent before. Sounds, words, actions, thoughts, energies, etc.

Now, going down that awareness road could lead me to just hold up in a cave somewhere and never come out. Of course, that is not what I want (well, maybe a part of me would be okay with that for a short time). What I want to feel is how I can practice Ahimsa in each moment with myself, with Other, and with the World.

The first thing for me is to be aware of the violence within and hold it with compassion. From a SoulFullHeart perspective this violence can come in the form of an Inner Punisher and/or our inner unworth. One parcels out the violence the other acquiesces to it. Holding space for both brings them into relationship, into forgiveness, and into healing.

The more we can heal the violence and unworthiness within, the more we become aware of what is not Ahimsa for us in each moment. That which did not seem violent yesterday may seem much more so tomorrow. The thoughts we have, the things we eat, the way we eat, the way we have sex, the way we talk, the things we say, the feelings we have, the expression or suppression that ensue. The list goes on.

It is Consciousness loving Itself in the most subtle of ways. Compassion is the bridge that takes us there. We cannot find ourselves in a vacuum devoid of violence but we can choose what we are a part of and/or how we respond to situations. Ahimsa becomes a momentary mediation on Love, just as much as holding the part of us that doesn’t feel it has ever really known it or deserves it.

Take a moment to be still and feel Ahimsa. Feel what is not. There the healing begins.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Reclaiming The Lost Boy Of Our In-essence

As a sensitive boy growing up, I could feel so much around me yet had no real guidance on how to interpret, digest, and integrate it all. This is really true for most if not all of us. The biggest piece I am revisiting now is the depth of my sexual trauma as a boy moving into manhood.
Confronted with so many images, energies, and conditionings around sex and sexuality, this boy in me found himself between a rock and a hard place (pardon the pun). There was the desire for innocence to be the name of the game. To dance with the essence in both the boy and the girl. Like a journey of discovery and playfulness.

Instead it was about fitting in to the dominant culture of woundedness. Girl became an object of my need to be validated as a man in the world. Her yoni a portal back into the womb of The Mother. But Girl was wounded too. She was looking for her own needs to be filled…so to speak
Now Boy is caught between fulfilling the needs of both the wounded masculine in his power over the feminine and the wounded feminine in her need to feel some hook into the masculine. Both invulnerable and unable to really see each other in their innocence or in-essence.

I reconnected with that boy in me again and replayed those days while feeling the innocence in contrast. The pain of what this boy packed away in order to survive in that world was heart-wrenching. I could feel the toxicity and pain swelling in my cells. All of the trauma that I never categorized as trauma because men don’t do that in what is just ‘those teenage years’.
If, as men, we were to really feel where we lost our innocence, we would really get to a core of who we are as a man. Why we have done, and to some degree still do, the things that we do. If we can ‘come to Jesus’ with this Lost Boy inside of us, we would find the root and beauty of our masculine innocence. Something we packed away a long fucking time ago.

In that innocence we also find the warrior who has fiercely protected him. The warrior who has both shadow to heal and truth to tell. Between them both is the Man who has a vulnerable heart and a willingness to call bullshit when he sniffs it. He is willing put his heart on the line but not his power. He is willing to seek forgiveness but not condemnation.

There has been no greater process for me than the one I am currently in. This Lost Boy in found again in my heart. I am loving him with every once of it that I have access to. It is my current sacred bromance. It is this process that activates and unearths more of my King or Sacred Sovereign Masculine Self. It is this process that leads me to more self-love and ability to see, feel, and relate authentically to the feminine within and without.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.