Painting by Angela Treat Lyon
By Raianna Shai
I had tears of admiration and appreciation for my physical body last night. I was in pain from beginning my cycle and I tried a sweet, restorative yoga video. Towards the end I realized how much pressure a part of me put on my body. It felt like a constant voice in the back of my mind reminding me why I’m not good enough, not pretty enough, not fit enough. This voice would point out my stomach, my thighs, my skin – anything that someone else might view as imperfect. I hadn’t felt much of this from this part since moving to Mexico, but I’ve been working with him as an Inner Punisher for a few weeks now in SoulFullHeart. Often when a part is brought to light more consciously, it’s easier to feel and be aware of when their energy comes in.
I love this part of me. He may sound harsh but he says things because it makes it easier for me in the event that someone else says it to me. Somehow, it’s easier to hear it from within than from others. He says these things so that I can fix them before they are noticed, and that way I won’t be judged for it at all by others. That doesn’t mean that I want to feel that energy towards my body, or anything else I do for that matter. But, I understand where he’s coming from and where the pain and fear lies.
During this yoga video, I had a profound movement of feeling waves of self love – for my body, in particular. I thought about everything that it does for me, everything that it holds when I feel physical pain. My body is beautiful and for the first time in a long time this part and I genuinely felt that to be true. I could say it outloud and within all I wanted, but until this part of me could feel it’s worth, it was hard for me to feel mine. I was inspired to write a thank you to my body, to each and every part of it. And to my heart, mind and soul. Because spirituality, awakening, and ascension are not about transcending the body – they’re about taking it with you. And that’s what I plan on doing.
Thank you, toes, for balance, softness, and delicateness.
Thank you, legs, for support, strength, and mobility.
Thank you, hips, for femininity, openness, and movement.
Thank you, stomach, for nourishment, digestion, and truth.
Thank you, chest, for beauty, tenderness, and sensuality.
Thank you, arms, for embracing, letting in, and accepting.
Thank you, hands, for holding, touching, and feeling.
Thank you, neck, for length, poise, and space.
Thank you, back, for reliability, stability, and solidity.
Thank you, head, for my senses, my mind, and intention.
Thank you, mind, for knowledge, process, and intuition.
Thank you, heart, for love, compassion, and generosity.
Thank you, soul, for depth, forgiveness, your many, many lessons.
Thank you, to parts of me, for everything you have held, loved, resisted, rejected, accepted, thought, felt, feared, desired and opened up to.
In the moments I feel most like me, the love I feel for all of this is endless, and always available. But I also love and accept the process it takes to get there and the mess along the way. For what is bliss without the mess?
Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, retreats, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.