Inner Community Healing, Paving The Way For 5D CommUNITY With Others

By Deva Yasmin

To be in community is a deep desire and calling in my heart, the desire started to burn for this more as I opened to spirituality. I can feel how this desire for community has run deep my whole life, it feels like it was the reason I spent many years working in the Hospitality industry, as there is a sense of togetherness that comes when working so closely and intensely with a group of people in a restaurant. It feels like the longing for community has also been my greatest pain, especially growing up in an environment and society where I felt I never fitted in. Right now, I am feeling with my parts the extent of this pain as I continue to unravel myself from it.

One of the draws for me to re-enter sessions with SoulFullHeart was the community. I had sessions for 6 months in 2017. It feels like I had to take a step back and explore other things to really let in what SoulFullHeart is offering. Even though I wasn’t engaged in sessions, I was witnessing through social media and within the group something very unique. I feel that what I have longed for within community, SoulFullHeart are on the leading edge of. Beings who are committed to showing up for their own inner healing and Ascension whilst at the same time learning to bridge that into relationships, through parts work.

As I expressed this desire for community in my session with Jelelle Awen, she invited me into a NEW way of feeling and letting in community, beginning first on the inside. This has been massively liberating for parts of me because within this deep desire for community with others has been a deeper longing and pain of not belonging and of feeling unsafe. Something parts of me could actually not find anywhere else, because all along they had needed to find that within ME. With these parts leading the way I feel how they drew souls who kept reflecting and confirming to me that I could not find what they were seeking outside. This caused much pain.

I see now how this also led these parts to continue and stay in unhealthy relationships for too long, to feel some sense of security and safety. This is a deeply vulnerable and at times painful process I am navigating right now, which I will reveal more about in time as my parts stabilize and ground in the safety of Infinite Love. That IS coming through even more as I turn my desire towards nurturing and tending my inner community, rather than overly focusing on, tending to or care taking others in exchange for a sense of belonging, Love and purpose.

I feel I am getting right to the core of what has been holding my parts in pain and with us all now feeling each other, there is a new level of honesty that is transmuting and transforming places I have felt stuck in for so long. This feels possible because I am learning through the SoulFullHeart process how to feel the inner dynamics and relationships of parts and aspects of myself.

As my parts are digesting and healing their experiences with me, they are beginning to receive the Love and acceptance they have always longed for. This is helping ME find the courage to BE and express more of who I AM, as a Soul. I find my way of being in life shifting as I calibrate to the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. The process is becoming more about receiving Love and support from within. Then responding to the parts AS they show up, that still do not know how to receive, feel unworthy of receiving or are still distrustful of Love because of the trauma they have experienced in the past, in this life and others.

This is rumbling throughout my life, as I am now feeling what it feels like to BE loved, to BE validated and to BE heard. My desire for this on the outside is growing, meaning it is becoming harder to continue what parts of me have until now accepted as love and connection with other. It’s a really challenging time, as I collapse the compartments of my life, to restore balance and wholeness to my inner and outer realities. It is surprising me at times how quickly this process is shifting things just from feeling how parts have lived and why.

There is an empowerment happening it feels of my Soul Bigness, my 4D/5D selves and all the aspects of me who KNOW what Love and commUNITY are truly meant to be already. As I feel and heal my 3D parts and experiences, more space is opening out for these higher aspects to come in to my awareness, my body and my life, supporting me to move into alignment with my Soul Expression and Service in this life.

Working with parts is guiding me towards and opening me to higher timeline possibilities that have felt impossible until now and hard to manifest. I have known since before I can remember that this 3D way of life is too limited, it has never felt like the path I came here to settle in. Now I know it is because I came here to create rumbles in it and be part of Ascension on Earth Now. Though I have tried many times to step into something NEW, without all my parts consciously co creating and on board, I have had to circle back in, to feel them and integrate, so I can walk with them across the bridge into the NEW with Love, rather than jumping off the cliff where the unknown can feel like an abyss. This making the death/rebirth cycles we all go through more chaotic than catalytic.

This feels like a continuous, multi layered, multi dimensional experience of Ascending within 3D, not getting out of it. Bridging and weaving Fifth Dimensional Consciousness into the fabric of it, shifting our individual and collective consciousness from the INside, out.

We explored walking gracefully across the bridge into the NEW rather than jumping off the cliff in yesterday’s monthly group call . These calls are a huge highlight of my month, along with my sessions and the monthly Women’s call. I feel the co-creation that is happening between our souls, how the joint desire for Golden Earth is creating the reality I feel so many of us Knowing and Longing for.

If you’d like to purchase the recording of this call, you can through https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/product-page/12-yeshua-magdalene-consciousness-activation-raphael-jelelle-awen or offer $15 CAD via paypal.me/jelelleawen

Much Love

Deva x

Deva Yasmin is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Seven Areas Of Life: Past, Present and Future

By Raianna Shai

I decided recently to do my own version of this popular “Decade In Review” style post. One of the tools we use in SoulFullHeart to process where we are in our life, and where we want to be is using the “7 Areas of Life”. These areas include Emotional, Spiritual, Social, Physical, Mental, Environmental and Financial. I thought it would be a really cool practice to use this to review where I was 10 years ago, where I am now, and where I’d like to be in the future. I felt into each area of life and processed my own personal past, present and future. I’ll write a little bit about what I discovered, I’ll include the article that I used as reference and I’ll attach an outline for you to fill out yourself!

First, here is the article about the 7 Areas of Life: https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/3d4d5dselvesquestions

This article is divided into the 3D/4D/5D versions of each of these areas of life. 3D being a denser frequency focused on a way of seeing the world through the 5 senses. Lower 4D has more of a rumbly feeling with the way you’ve always seen the world starting to change, often with feelings of anger, injustice and frustration. Upper 4D frequencies are when you start to heal a lot of your trauma and fear and in turn, return to love and peace inside of yourself. 5D is the higher self version of you that has little reaction and can move through life in flow, trust and love for everything and everyone while still being able to hold boundaries.

One thing I noticed about myself in this, is that 10 years ago I primarily resonated with the 3D version of these areas, currently I find myself closest to upper 4D and for my future I would love to reach a level of 5D conscious in all areas.

10 years ago: I find that I have no judgement of the 14 year old version of myself being more in 3D. She was young, kind and intelligent but had so much insecurity and fear that much of her reality was clouded over compared to its potential. She was also very shy and would rarely speak up in class, say her truth or admit any feelings that weren’t positive. Drama would happen all around her and she would do whatever she could to not be involved. She wanted to please everyone and be the perfect student/daughter/friend and later girlfriend.

She was very emotional, though not very aware of where her emotions came from or how they could actually affect others if left unhealed. Socially, she had the same friends since kindergarten but was about to move to Canada and embark on a completely new journey. This change in environment proved to massively change my self confidence and ability to take on new and scary situations. She was awakened to some spirituality a couple of years prior but wasn’t able to sustain much of this connection. At this point, she had no real desire to connect to spirituality and focused more on the mental aspect of her life. She is a vastly different person from who I am today but the essence of who I am was still there inside of her. Compassion, emotion, and joy.

Today: Feeling into who I am now helped me have so much gratitude for all of the hard emotional and spiritual work that I have done so far. So much unworthiness, insecurity and fear has been shed in the last 10 years and it’s because of every single experience that I have had. Whether they felt good or bad in the moment, I can see now the purpose for all of it.

In the last three years or so I have become SO much more in tune with parts of me and my emotions. Discovering the root causes of my fears and feeling them into healing. My connection to spirituality has substantially increased with experiences of kundalini, openings with the Divine and more relationships with my metasoul and galactic families. My social world has been a rollercoaster ride these last 10 years with much letting go of that which no longer served where I wanted to go and who I wanted to be. Now I have opened the doors for beings who inspire my spiritual journey and resonate on every level possible. I have changed environments in big ways including a move to Mexico and back to Canada which allowed me to appreciate the energy of where I live and cultivate a center inside of me that will stay with me anywhere in the world! Financially, I have an online job that allows me to spend my days working on my soul purpose, even if the job itself is not directly a part of that. I am so proud of where and who I am today. I am excited for even more growth but if I died today, I would be so happy with exactly where I’m at now, and I never thought I would be able to say that.

Future: I have such a clear and yet flexible picture for how I see my future. I imagine even less fear and reaction, more love flow in every moment, and deeper connections with resonant souls in my life. Travel is a huge desire of mine and connecting that to service is even more enticing. Having a property that is filled with our SoulFullHeart community while having phases of travel within that is probably number one on my list. I see myself serving others as a facilitator as well helping behind the scenes to organize, plan and design. My creativity has been flowing much more lately and I hope to connect these skills to my finances and service. I feel my relationship flourishing and deepening every day, helping each other grow and become loving mirrors for each other. Socially, I would love more women to connect with and have comfortable yet growthful experiences with. I would love to have less anxiety and less thoughts spinning around in my head. In this, I see more trust and flow with my mentality and existing more through emotion and intuition.

This practice was huge in helping me feel love for the 14 year old version of myself, gratitude for where I am now, and excitement for what the next 10 years hold! I highly recommend doing even a couple of these areas of life, especially the ones you are struggling with or would like to see movement in. It can be hard for parts of us to not judge where we are but it helps to see how far we’ve come! We are a beautiful and messy work in progress and we will never be the same soul that we were yesterday.

 


 

Here is an outline I created to make it easier for you to organize it all if you like!

Emotional: The Emotional area of life includes the relationship you and parts of you have to your emotions, your subconscious, your pain body, emotional healing, and emotional expression.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 

Spiritual: The Spiritual area of life includes the relationship you and parts of you have to your Spirituality, soul gift expression, soul purpose, Ethereal Guides, the Divine, and your energy body/chakras.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 

Mental: The Mental area of life includes the relationship you and parts of you have toward your intelligence, knowledge, non-duality, wisdom, and mental-based intuition.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 

Social: The Social area of life includes the relationship you and parts of you have to birth and soul family, friendships, romantic mateships, Ethereal Guides, and Star BEings.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 

Physical: The Physical area of life includes the relationship you and parts of you have to your physical body, your health, your nutrition, your sexual desirability and expression.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 

Financial: The Financial area of life includes the relationship you and parts of you have to money, material wealth, abundance, livelihood, soul purpose expression and purpose.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 

Environmental: The environmental area of life includes the relationship you have to your physical surroundings, geography, global and galactic environment, the natural world, and animals.

10 years ago:

Today:

Future:

 


 

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Healing, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about free intro calls and 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Into The Trauma, And Beyond!

By Raianna Shai

Much of spirituality and emotional healing is based on the healing of trauma. From this life, other lifetimes, and with galactic connections. This is probably some of the most important work we do in healing our wounding and growing closer to our essence. My recent process, however, has helped me realize that there IS healing that exists beyond the trauma.

In my most recent session I connected with both my inner protector and a new gatekeeper. My inner protector is the part of me that helps get me through daily life. He is the one that can hold very 3D and physical/mental tasks. My gatekeeper, on the other hand, is the guide I can lean into when it comes to opening out my soul connections and gifts.

As I felt my protector first, he was overwhelmed and trying so hard to deepen my process and make it more meaningful. But deepening my healing isn’t his responsibility. I haven’t signed up for much trauma this life and the metasoul healing I’ve done so far has healed almost all of what I have signed up for. So this part’s job has shifted massively from protecting to resting and trusting.

This new gatekeeper, who I am calling Damien, is a much higher frequency and has the key to unlocking the rest of my soul that goes beyond the trauma. He can show me the gifts, the positive experiences, the magical and deep journeys that allow for more love and cohesion between all aspects of myself.

Going through this process has helped me realize that we don’t just have to be here for trauma healing. We can go beyond – deeper into who we want to be and what we want to build for ourselves. We can grow closer and closer to essence until maybe we are even done coming back as human.

In order to get to this place we must trudge through muddy waters, deconstruct all that we have believed to be true about ourselves, love who are parts once were and dream about who we want to be. We must find the worth, do the work and stay in the room with the darkest and most difficult parts of us. But each ounce of love we take in, each connection to the Divine and each step towards forgiveness brings us through our trauma and into the “beyond”.

Beyond self consciousness, beyond fear, beyond anger, beyond anxiety and depression, even beyond much self awareness at all. The “beyond” to me is pure love, essence, passion and service.

*****

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Healing, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about free intro calls and 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

 

Anxiety: A Peek Into The SoulFullHeart Process

By Raianna Shai

A couple of nights ago, I experienced anxiety in a way that I hadn’t in quite a long time. One thing that was very different this time was simply my awareness of it. I never totally realized that I had quite a bit of anxiety in the past. I always thought that because it wasn’t inherently debilitating that I was just an overthinker.

But I feel that this experience is quite prevalent in most of us, and is a mix of different relationships between parts of us.

For myself, it felt like my inner child feeling scared of “getting in trouble”. She wants so badly to love, feel joy and play in the beauty of life. But when things happen in my life that are more “adult” and difficult, my Protector will put her out front so that it’s harder for others to get mad at me. Who really wants to yell at a child?

My Inner Protector also has fear, for getting in trouble means he has somehow failed me. So he tends to try and avoid these situations as much as possible in order to protect my other parts such as my inner child.

Then my Inner Punisher comes into play by judging my Inner Child for getting something wrong in the first place. For he’s constantly looking for things that she could improve. When deep down, he really just judges himself for the way he feels he has to be.

All this to say that no matter how bad my anxiety or depression gets, the biggest thing that gets me through and allows me to grow from the situation is feeling the dynamics going on inside.

It’s different for everyone but what’s the same is that all of our parts ultimately want love and to be heard. So if we take the time and space (if we can) to get to know these parts of ourselves then MAYBE we can begin to draw these feelings and situations less and less.

Here is *sort of* a poem I wrote to illustrate the process I had that night!

————————————-

Tears of hopeless frustration

Feeling lost in a sea of emotion

Stomach tense in fear and expectation

Anxiety takes hold with intense ferocity

Sleep is lost to the silence of the night

Tossing and turning with measured repetition

Then I remember the family inside of me

Waiting to be felt

Waiting to be heard and loved

“What can I do for you, my loves?”

“How can I help?”

“I’m scared and just want to have joy”

Says the little one

“I fear failure, that I put you in danger”

Says the fierce protector

“I don’t like this, and I need to to fix it”

Says the punishing voice

“You are all loved, supported and heard”

I say

“You, little one, need not to worry of things in the adult world. You are the joy and love I need to tell my truth with compassion.”

“You, my loving guard, need not to protect the others. I am here now, to hold the space with intention and strength.”

“You, my precious critic, need not to judge yourself or others. You were needed once before, but now you may rest.”

And with that

The child tucked in

The protector at rest

The punisher soothed

I sleep in peace

*****

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Falling IN Love

Photo by Everton Vila on Unsplash

By Raianna Shai

In the past few weeks I have been trying to find the space and time to write a blog post, finding that I have struggled to “force” something profound and meaningful out of me when sometimes just living is as profound as you need to be in any moment. I have so much desire to serve love to others and to share what I learn on my awakening journey. Even now, I have many ideas of what I could write about but the words aren’t flowing as easily as they have in the past.

So as I sit here with an open heart, energy and time, I decided just to write about where I am currently in my life. That is what’s most authentic and flows from my heart with ease.

Right now I am falling in love. With myself, with other, with my life and family. I am falling in love inside and outside. I am growing and changing and facing my fears as much as I possibly can to continue letting in all of this love.

My inner process has been focused on a feminine and masculine part of me who are also learning to fall in love. They both have desires, needs, boundaries and fears. My feminine part, who I am calling Shai, is emotional and passionate and a true romantic at heart. My masculine part, named Michael, is discerning, intelligent and has a gift of holding 3D tasks. Together, they are balanced and full of love. Apart, they are opposite forces working against one another creating fear, anxiety and projection onto others.

Because of the abundance of goodness in my life right now, I have been focusing on these two parts in order to be able to continue letting it all in. It’s easy for parts to get scared when things are going well. In a dimension where things tend to “go wrong”, we can make predictions ahead of time of what may not work or what we might lose. In that, we lose the moment. We lose what we have in the present and we don’t get everything out of it that we could.

I’m working on not expecting the worse. On not bracing myself for the impact of something bad. But first, I feel the parts that do expect the worst and discover why that is. The more that Shai and Michael vulnerably share their fears with me, the more they will fall in love and fall in tandem with one another. That’s when their gifts can shine and that love can be shared with others.

We talk about inner sacred union a lot for a reason. It’s so important to start within. To grow the glow of love so brightly that it shines through every pore and into those around you.

*****

I found this poem from almost two years ago that I thought was fitting for this! It’s from my masculine too my feminine:

I always thought I was different than the other men

More sensitive

More emotional

More mature

 

I thought I was protecting you from the other men

Giving you edges

Hiding your feelings

Numbing your reactions

 

I thought you’d be hurt by the other men

They would crack you into pieces

They would scratch your porcelain skin

They would break your fragile heart

 

But now I see your strength as a woman

Your compassion

Your empathetic prowess

Your stillness and energy, both

 

I thought I could hide you as a woman

Under formless clothing

Under quick-witted comebacks

Under disinterest in romance

 

Maybe now I can support you as a woman

Become the mind to your heart

Become the here to your now

Become the pot to your plant

 

I’m not meant to be your guard,

But instead your partner

Your partner in this dance

Few know the steps to

 

Where our rhythms match,

Our hearts unite

And our souls release the energy

Of every star in the nighttime sky

*****

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

INtimacy over INvisibility

By Raianna Shai

I haven’t written a post in a while as a lot has been shifting and growing in my world. A couple of weeks ago Kalayna and I spent a few days on Salt Spring and just this week we all spent time camping in Goldstream.

One theme that has been popping up a lot for myself as well as my entire community is intimacy in relationships. I have always had this tendency and even desire inside of me to be invisible. I was incredibly shy as a child, I never rose my hand in class, I chose to blend in for any social interaction. I had absolutely no desire to be seen or more vulnerably, to be judged by others.

It’s easy to get into a “mode” in every relationship in your life and it doesn’t take long to establish, even with new people. We find what frequency is most comfortable and what allows us to get along with this other person. What gets hard is when something gets triggered or rubs against something inside of us.

I have found that most people either push away their reactions towards others, judging them as unfair or just not worth it, or they push their reactions on others, without feeling what the impact might be or what’s going on inside of them. Both of these strategies allow us to hide, to put away the deeper and more vulnerable parts of us that go against the already agreed upon frequency that you have established in the relationship.

Parts of me fear that my truth will either end the relationship or deepen it. Both risking being seen for more than my persona. Going against the grain of what is comfortable in relationship is exactly what intimacy is all about.

You tell your truth, as messy as it gets, until one day you are transparent in every moment. Until you have no fear locking you into place and all of your words come from love for yourself and love for other. Until you trust that losing a relationship is okay and deepening a relationship is okay too. Until you are so centred inside of yourself that no level of intimacy can scare you away. Even when fear comes up there is progress and honesty about it all. That is when community can flourish and become something new and never done before.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

The Secret: Feel The Parts, THEN Manifest

By Raianna Shai

**TLDR; I’m starting a project of reading all of the most popular spiritual books that I hear of to learn about what others are taking in so that I can share my own personal take on them. In “The Secret” I resonate with the idea of manifestation and our capacity to draw whatever it is we want. However, I believe that you have to feel the blocks that are in the way and the parts of you that don’t feel your power. They have very good reasons to feel this way and shouldn’t be bypassed in this process.**

I grew up in a spiritual household for a good portion of my life. The sweet scent of incense, the soothing sound of meditation music, a mother and step father that would talk about their spiritual and emotional explorations. But to be honest, I wasn’t all that into is as something to deeply explore myself as a teenager.

By the time I chose to try SoulFullHeart with my family I still hadn’t had a phase of spiritual exploration that most young people have when newly awakening. Because of this I really just have the SoulFullHeart lens that, while it resonates on every level so far, isn’t something that most people know about. Especially people my own age.

So I decided that in order to truly understand spiritual people my age, I could start by reading the most popular books from the classics to the more modern takes on spirituality. I really want to dive into the heart of someone who has a buffet of spiritual beliefs to dive into and figure out how I feel about it myself. So the next time someone brings up “The Power of Now”, I can have something to digest about it.

————————————————————————————————

The first book I’ve chosen to dive into is “The Secret”. I first saw this documentary on Netflix and tried to watch but couldn’t quite get into it. It felt a bit dramatic to be honest and it energized this feeling that this is something that has been taken away from us to remove our power and make us feel like we can’t change every fiber of our daily lives. I do agree that there is a veil in place that stands in the way of the ultimate capacity of our beings, but I also feel that we chose this and that a big part of why we’re here is to heal enough to dissolve this veil.

For those of you who haven’t read this book, the secret they are referencing is the Law of Attraction. It says that like attracts like – which means that whatever you think is attracted to you. If you think that you are poor, you will be. If you think that you are rich, you will be.

My first reaction from a part of me was that this seems very oversimplified. I feel that we have chosen certain circumstances and while we have the choice to heal them or not, some things are just meant to happen whether we think high vibe thoughts or not.

However, I do resonate with the idea that once we find our absolute joy and become more of our higher selves we will draw and manifest just about anything we want to. I definitely believe in the power of intention and the energy of the universe. I also really like that it encourages you to have gratitude for what you have NOW as a part of it all. Gratitude is such an important part of manifesting something new. Where my feelings differ though are how to get there.

“The Secret” mentions a lot about replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. While that’s a nice sentiment I think it takes something different and some hard inner work for everyone to get to this positive and joyful place. For me, it is parts work and the process we do in SoulFullHeart. For someone else it might be breathwork or shamanism. I feel that if you can get deep enough inside of yourself to reach the parts of you that don’t believe in your power or joy, then it is a fast track to feeling exactly that.

I think it’s a very empowering and expanding practice to picture and energize exactly what you want in your life. It sends a message out to the universe and it will manifest for you. Not thinking of the how or when but knowing that you can have it. But it’s also empowering to feel the parts of you that just don’t believe, that feel like they’ll never get what they want. Without first feeling your blocks to manifestation with love and trust, you will have a harder time manifesting anything. These parts have valid reasons for feeling the way they do and I really don’t believe they should be bypassed.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Vulnerability In Relationship

By Raianna Shai

I wrote this poem after having just the right day to open up my heart. Whenever this happens every space inside of me that feels like a void fills up with gratitude and appreciation of my environment and the people around me. I was reminded of why I tend to feel guarded around others and how good it feels to be intimate in relationship.

I am very good at being alone. I have always been independent and able to entertain myself quite easily. I thought recently that I would be happier and more opened out living on my own. But the fact that living with others is harder and scarier means it’s probably what I’m meant to be working.

I was feeling how it’s so easy to feel misunderstood or judged by others when you have that living inside of yourself. Whenever my insecurity was high, I found that it was harder to let others in and be vulnerable. I also remembered how much I love physical touch and how important it is to increase the intimacy in relationships. A lingering hug here, a friendly cuddle there. I always saved this for when I was in a romantic relationship because that’s where it felt safe and accepted.

But telling someone what they mean to you and showing physical affection are two things that are bound to be scary. It means you are seeing the other and therefore “risk” being seen yourself. This can bring up a lot of fear if a sense of lack or unworthiness lives inside of you.

I have a big desire to go to the next place in all of my relationships in order to work this push pull inside of me when it comes to intimacy. This poem illustrates the feeling I had of that!

~~~

In the moments that my heart splits open
Gratitude fills every atom of my soul
My body sways with tenderness and care
I want to wrap my arms around every lonely heart
Connecting to oneness and collective love

My fingers trace the edges of my frame
It runs along every crack
Every bump
Every inconsistency
It fills my emptiness with loving energy
It brings out the softness underneath the surface

Soft vulnerability is hard to show
The sweet caress of your own beauty
Uniquely separate from those around you
Yet intertwined in insecurity and fear

I feel overwhelmed by the thought of my loved ones
The way they move through life
The way they see and care for me
When I can’t see myself

You are so brave, dear one
To be a bright green growth
In a grey sidewalk crack
Constantly fearing the underside of passing steps
The shadow side of humanity

I see you, I feel you
I want you, I need you
I feel scared to tell you
That I admire you
And hope you admire me too

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Path To Soul Purpose

Your 20s is a strange and confusing time of your life. It’s the decade when you are entering the “real world”. When there are less handrails and more independence. When you have the space and freedom to choose who and what you want to be.

This can be as equally liberating as it is terrifying. So many people I have talked to, including myself, have moments of feeling like they don’t know what they’re doing with their life or where it’s leading.

There’s a new priority these days of fulfilling a soul purpose rather than living out the traditional lifestyle of older generations. However, we haven’t exactly been taught how to find or live out our soul purpose so we have to feel it for ourselves.

It’s easy to see others who look like they have their life “together” and to judge yourself for where you are at. But one thing I’ve learned is that absolutely everyone is going through something. No matter how much of their life is exactly how they want it to be, there are always moments of self doubt, sadness and frustration.

It’s easy to want to hide away from the world because of this. To not reveal yourself or your intentions until you have it figured out. But the biggest thing we can learn from each other is what it’s like to be in process. Vulnerability is about exposing yourself every step of the way in order to let in more intimacy.

We can spend our whole lives trying to be self sufficient and happy on our own but we do this work in order to share it with others. We are not meant to depend on others but we are also not meant for absolute solitude.

We work towards self love in order to feel love for all. We live through peaks in valleys just like everyone else. The best we can do is feel where we want to be, what’s keeping us from being there, and loving ourselves until our shadow can come to the light of day. It is then that we love out our wildest dreams.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Honouring Unwanted Feelings

By Raianna Shai

There are moments when I look outside of myself. When I feel frustration or anger at things I can’t control.

I try not to feel bad about it in these moments. I’m only human and can’t always get to a higher frequency right away.

But I do try and take a moment to feel where my frustration with other is a frustration inside of myself.

What do my parts need? Where am I feeling unloved and unworthy? And how can I fill that void inside of myself instead of waiting for that outside source to fill it for me?

Ultimately, we are always going to have reactions that we don’t want to have. It’s all about treating each feeling with respect and honor. Knowing that each one has its place and value.

No feeling is a bad one at its core. They all lead us somewhere new inside of ourselves. A new sense of self love, a new boundary with others, a new form of compassion for whatever may be frustrating you.

We are here, in this world, in this form, to feel it all. As fully as humanly possible.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.