Sometimes I Cry

By Raianna Shai

 

Sometimes I cry

I cry for the world, for the fear and the hate

I cry for the constant discord and debate

 

I cry for the children who never have homes

I cry for their feet, and the streets that they roam

 

I cry for the women who feel so unworthy

I cry for the men who are told to be burly

 

Sometimes I cry

For the part of me that never feels right

Who can’t see her beauty or bounty of light

 

For the part of me that can’t let you down

Who loves everyone, but herself she lets drown

 

For the part of me that can’t understand

Why he hasn’t been taught how to be a man

 

Sometimes I cry

Water may fall, but then I find out

That soon after tears, Comes wisdom, not doubt

 

The love will come back in body and heart

And then my cup fills, returns to the start

 

The well of my heart shall never dry

For when I feel sad, sometimes I cry

 

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

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Gratitude for Healing

By Raianna Shai

When I’m in my daily life, a part of me tends to get caught up in what my next process will be, what seeds I should be planting in order to expand the consciousness of others, how I can bridge this work that I do to people, what outside experiences I can have to be able to progress. But the most poignant and present moments that I have are when I can let in just how much I love what I do.

There has been a lot of conditioning around progress that it can be hard to appreciate and let in the present moment. To bask in gratitude for all that you are, all that you have cultivated, and all that you do for others. It can also feel foreign to really take time to appreciate other souls around you outside of holidays and traumatic experiences. To take pleasure in the simple moments, the little things that you don’t realize make your life just that much better.

Let gratitude fill the spaces inside of you that need the most love, let it fill your heart with the beauty of your life and all that you have managed to manifest in such a difficult 3D based place, let it be the catalyst for loving others and healing yourself in order to serve more and more. I wanted to take a moment for my own gratitude. For SoulFullHeart, for myself, for my community, for everyone on Gaia that strives to heal their trauma, and for everyone that isn’t yet ready to heal at all. I just want to say that I love…

I love how deeply inside of my own world I can go. I love being around others who are so dedicated to understand and feeling their own inner worlds. I love expanding outside of myself and bringing in Divine and Galactic energies to enhance my inner experience. I love what this work does for people and how much trauma has already been healed just by this work alone. I love that we’re moving towards creating a community supported by this work. I love being inspired everyday to feel when it’s so easy not to. I love you and I love me.

What are you grateful for?

Love The Dark Into Light

By Raianna Shai

Loving yourself is so much easier said than done. You can have the knowledge that you are a good person and that you deserve the world while a part of you feels the complete opposite.

Sometimes a movie and treats can help. Or a good cry and a big hug. Sometimes you just need to talk or write it out. Sometimes just some sleep will help you gain a new perspective.

But other times it’s not that easy. There are phases and moments that feel like a heavy fog is hanging down on you. Like you’ll never feel the same again or you don’t want to be here anymore.

I don’t have any one-size fits all answers for this but what I can say from experience is the importance of feeling. Without shame or guilt if you can. Let the tears flow, let the unworthiness surface. Cry until your head hurts or scream until you lose your voice. Write until your hand cramps and talk until there’s only you left to listen.

“…tears water the foundation of new growth…”

These parts of you that feel heavy and sad and unlovable have just as much a right to be felt and heard as the parts of you that feel joy and happiness. These are the parts and the processes that allow you to feel love and joy even deeper. These are the very furthest corners of your heart and soul – the ones that need the most love and light.

Then watch as you blossom into something new. Watch as the world around you turns from gray to a kaleidoscope of colours. Watch the little things you notice about people – the little habits they don’t even notice themselves. Feel your heart start to bubble with joy when you see your loved ones smile. Notice those dark corners start to let in the light and realize what you’ve known all along – that they are beautiful and lovable and deserve the world.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Feeling is Healing

By Raianna Shai

Healing and awakening are very often incredibly difficult things to do. It’s not always high frequency, good vibes, and love and light. It’s diving deep into the shadow, letting go of what once meant everything to you, and realizing what needs to be shed and felt in order to continue your growth.

I had a day today where I felt like the last thing I wanted to do was heal and grow. I felt a deep sadness that, when in the middle of it, feels immovable and permanent. It was a process that required many rounds of tears that I couldn’t quite place. They were triggered by something specific, but were clearly about something much larger.

A part of me didn’t care where they came from to be honest, and just wanted to feel sad. She wanted to medicate all of the sadness away and forget about getting to the other side of it. But even though it was hard to feel in the moment, I knew that each time I felt this sorrow, I was healing something deep on a bigger scale.

Each tear that drops from our eyes, each feeling of unworthiness, anger and fear, each time we feel how hard it is to be here as deeply feeling humans, we feel something for everyone else in the world. We cry for every human – past, present and future, for every timeline that affects our here and now, every one we are surrounded by and touch every day.

Everything we feel is sacred and as difficult as it may be, your desire to feel it rather than suppress it is changing the world. We may not be able to rid ourselves of our suffering immediately and certainly not for everyone, but each choice we make towards love (including feeling how far we seem to be from it) is making an impact collectively.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Tides Are Changing Once More

Photo by Rich Wiltshire

By Raianna Shai

Big news and shifts coming for my community and I in the coming months! The beginning of this year has been quite the phase of endings, rumblings, growth and transformation. It feels like a collective process of death and rebirth in relationships, careers, geographies and old ways of being. So many have spoken of a desire to end a pattern that no longer serves their higher purpose. Of finding what moves them and fills their heart and soul. No longer are many of us wanting to stay stuck or to linger in places that prevent our creativity, growth or bigness from blossoming.

For us, that is a change in geography once more! We are being called to serve in Europe – a place that is rich in culture, history and spirituality – in order to reach and touch as many souls as possible. I have wanted to travel for so long and especially to Glastonbury which is where we plan to begin!

Victoria has been such a wonderful landing and transitional place for us, where most of what we want has been manifested. It is one of my favourite cities I have ever lived in and it will always be close to my heart! The people I have met, and experiences I have had have all shaped who and where I am today. We still have some months left here but I wanted to acknowledge the largess of this change and how reflective of the collective rebirth it is!

Much was needed to be shed and processed before being able to make this leap but we all feel so ready to go! My deepest desire is to heal my heart as much as I can – to see and feel my own shadow so that others may be guided to do the same. I believe in the power and gift of inner healing to effect change in others and the outer world. But it must start within. Can’t wait for the upcoming adventures that await!

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Love Can Never Be Lost To Trauma

By Raianna Shai

After a traumatic experience, parts of us tend to feel this desire to go back to who we were before the incident. They desire to be blissfully unaware of what is to come, to return to the untainted heart that felt full and content. Or maybe there’s even a desire to return to neutrality and boredom for that feels less painful than where you’re at now.

I asked the Divine that very same question just now in meditation, “When will I return to how I felt and who I was before this all happened?”

I immediately heard a response back saying, “You will never be who you were before any of your life experiences. You will, in fact, be that much closer to love and your true essence. Every human experience you have, whether it feels negative or positive, gives you a closer look at who you really are. A trauma does not take away from love in your heart, for love can never be lost. It can become a story, or it can become learning and growth. It can be lost in the shadow or it can be brought into the light of day to be seen, loved, and healed into something rooted in love. You are always you, nothing can take that away.”

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Telling Your Truth With Both Strength And Compassion

By Raianna Shai

Telling your truth can be a multi-layered and surprisingly complicated process. It’s rare that we are taught how to truly and lovingly set boundaries, speak honestly, and be vulnerable in our relationships. In order to tell your truth from love rather than fear, there’s a beautiful blend of both the masculine spine and confidence and the feminine heart and compassion.

I’ve been learning a lot about my own process when it comes to telling my truth and I’ve realized how compartmentalized it has been for me. I’ve never been all that confident with telling people how they affect me or what I’m really feeling. I am very open about what is going on in my life but when it comes to anything that could cause conflict, hurt, or harm, part of me avoids it like the plague.

One way that I tell my truth is solely from my unhealed feminine heart. This can be beautiful and soft – but without a more masculine holding of it, it can come out meek and small. This is when I will share how someone made me feel but then follow it up quickly with “but it’s not your fault!”. I have this desperate need in parts of me to make people feel safe and comfortable. But this way of being allows people to think that what I have to say isn’t important. That I don’t need them to see or hear me because it’s my responsibility to take care of it and heal. When sometimes, it really is the other person and their energy that isn’t okay for me.

Wrapping conflict in layers of padding and protection, trying to keep it from exploding or becoming real – this isn’t actually loving to anyone. This hinders rather than supports real growth. Being able to tell someone that something they have said or done hurts you brings you that much closer together. It gives you the opportunity to get to a deeper place around it and actually deepen your bond. It doesn’t have to be something that deeply offends or hurts them, it can actually be a way to show them that you care and that you want MORE of them not less. You just want more of who they really are, not more of the walls or protection that allows them to do or say things that hurt you.

Another way of sharing your truth is through pure, unhealed masculine unsentimentality. This is a powerful part of us that can see the bigger picture and make decisions not based in attachment or codependency. But when I’ve shared my truth from this place alone, I have been able to really hurt another person. It makes people feel judged and small and not cared for at all. It does not allow space for the other person to grow because there is no heart there to really feel them in it. Why would a flower want to bloom in the desert?

Then we look at a blend of these two energies. A part of us that has the spine to make hard decisions that is best for everyone and a loving part of us that can create a compassionate space for hurt to arise, be felt, and potentially move in to something new. Without the heart, there is very little room for anything to shift or change in the way that you want. Without the spine, there are rare moments when the heart is really heard and felt.

I have been feeling the consequences of this compartmentalization lately but I have felt so much gratitude for being able to discover why it’s there inside of me and what was even going on when it happened. Now I can learn and grow from my experiences and offer loving boundaries to anyone I encounter next. These strategies simply came from fear for me. A fear of getting really close to someone, of being seen for who I really am, of shattering an image of perfection, of potentially hurting someone else, and so much more. We all have our reasons for being this way – all we can do is learn, grow, forgive, move on and love as fully as possible!

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Love Within to Love With Other

Burning Love by Saara AlhopuroArt & Photography

By Raianna Shai

This is one of those days that calls and aches for inner reflection. For feeling where the love exists inside you and in your outer world as well as where love is lacking. Whether you’re heartbroken, in love, lonely or happily on your own – this is a perfect time to connect with the love flow in your life.

Maybe you want a romance so badly that you feel devastated on days like these. This is a perfect time to feel the ways in which parts of you are actually devastated that you don’t love them the way they want and need. Feeling these parts of you and cultivating true love inside can’t help but draw that same connection on the outside.

Maybe you are heartbroken and recently let go of a romance and this day seems to pour salt in the wound. This would be a perfect time to honour any beauty that existed in the relationship, what you learned about love from it, and why you feel it needed to end. For things begin and end exactly how and why they are meant to.

Maybe you are madly in love and are dizzy with happiness! This is the perfect time to step back and honour yourself for being in a place to draw something that gives you this much joy and love. For that is a reflection of the joy and love inside of you. And a reflection of the joy and love inside your partner.

Maybe you are in a relationship but feel lonely or sad in it anyway. Take a moment to feel what you truly want in a romance and love. Feel into what might be lacking – and turn it inwards. What is lacking in relationship is generally something lacking inside too. Advocate for what you really want and deserve – and go from there.

Maybe you are single and happy and absolutely in love with who and where you are. This is a perfect time to feel gratitude for where you have gotten! This is not an easy place to get to and it may not last forever – but right now everything feels aligned and magical and that is cause for celebration! Perhaps take a moment to feel into the ways that you can deepen this love for yourself, even when it’s hard to.

I think most of us have been in almost every stage on Valentine’s Day in our lives. I know I have….but if I’ve noticed anything this year, it’s that it all comes back to YOU! You are the only one responsible for your heart and how it loves. You have been given the gift of feeling all the ways in which parts of you feel unlovable and loving them anyway. Self love is not selfish. It teaches you how to truly love another and it shows others how you want to be loved.

You are beautiful inside and out. All of our mistakes and “flaws” are forgiven and loved by the Divine and can therefore be forgiven and loved by you. It feels so important on these to take a moment for you, no matter what stage or phase you are in. Maybe then love can pour into all of our hearts and reach those who are struggling to find it themselves. Inner love always reaches the collective – so let’s help each other out by helping ourselves.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Completions & Next Steps – DAY 33: 33 DAYS DEEPEN W/ Jelelle Awen & SoulFullHeart Community (VIDEO)

DAY THIRTY-THREE: DEEPEN 33 Day Video Series – Completions & Next Steps W/Jelelle Awen & SoulFullHeart Community

 

This is day thirty-three of 33 in my daily video series called Deepen….the last day!! Today, Raphael AwenGabriel HeartmanKalayna ColibriRaianna Shai and our dogs Sara and Koda join me for the completion of the series. Each of us shares from our hearts what the Deepen series has been and brought for us. We also offer a bridge to you for possible next steps to deepen the personal experience you have had through other writings/videos, and both individual and group sessions with us.

Thank YOU so much from my heart and soul to yours for taking in this video series in whatever ways and means you have. It is a process that invites you into an ever deepening and spiraling inner journey of self discovery with LOTS of love and compassion.

Thank you for joining me on this thirty-second day of 33….as we move into Deepening energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

More about parts/Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

You can watch all the videos in the series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist…

You are welcome to share your experiences of this guided meditation here on FB and I will respond to your sharings.

Jelelle Awen
1:1 bridging and ongoing sessions available with me for women over 25 and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators (Gabriel and Raphael with women/men and Kalayna with woman 25 and under) to deepen this connection with your Protector, Inner Child, Lemurian, and other precious parts/Metasoul aspects! More info here:soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

 

Loving Your Inner Beast

By Raianna Shai

Self judgement and unworthiness are feelings that are hard to reach the root of. It can take years of unraveling just why and how we truly see ourselves and how it plays out in our lives. We can point fingers at all the people who made us feel small. The people who judged us. The people who could never forgive our mistakes. The people who invalidated our feelings.

But what about the part of you that has done all the same things? The part that tells you you’re not good enough. That constantly reminds you of your mistakes. That judges every move you make, every awkward thing you do. What if this part of you wasn’t just judging you, but judging itself? And what if all the hate and anger and insults were just this part’s way of trying to protect you? We are not victims to our circumstances, so anyone or anything that hurts you is a reflection of a part inside that hurts you too.

I’ve been working with this part of me lately, which can be called a Punisher part, to feel how and why my insecurity can get in the way of my own self love and how it affects my relationships. His name is Brutus and he sees himself as a beast – like in Beauty and the Beast. And all of the goodness that lives inside me can be represented by a rose covered in a glass case. He is fiercely loyal and strives to protect this rose by any means necessary. But his version of protection is to judge her until she does everything perfectly – then no one else can judge her.

This part of me is not easy to feel. He is harsh, brutal and very unforgiving. Every person that has ever gotten mad at me, judged me, or insulted me has actually been backed up by him. He takes everything that was said or felt about me and multiplies it by 10. He expects me to do better, he feels ashamed for how I acted or things I said, he punishes me for doing something wrong.

So instead of using the knowledge and intuition he has about my emotions to protect me, he actually just makes me feel worse about it. But one thing I’ve learned is that he just wants love himself. In his vulnerability, he feels so much remorse for how he has made other parts of me feel about themselves and in turn, other people. He feels he doesn’t deserve love or forgiveness.

But the second me and all parts of me truly forgave him, he started to shift massively. He turned into a prince and he could feel all that he has to offer. Intuition, discernment, and a healthy protection and transparency about how I’m really feeling.

So when I am feeling unworthiness or when there is a truth I need to say to someone, I can call on him and his opened out heart to say what I need to say. Instead of letting my hurt build up and explode out, we will work together to be honest and loving to ourselves and others. Because kindness cannot come from an empty vessel. We must cultivate it within ourselves so deeply, that we can’t help but overflow into others.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

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