Global Events Illuminating Shadow During This Equinox Passage

The heart is feeling heavy with this latest news coming from New Zealand. A place that represented some last bastion of civility and kindness in the world to many parts of us. Not that it has lost such distinction but I could feel a bubble being burst in the collective. Almost like a heinous act being carried out in Disneyland. I admit I do not know New Zealand very well but it is the projection I am working with. I do know it has a relatively small crime rate…and then this.

With that backdrop, the events that happened in Christchurch are amplified. Deep despair flourishes. Ignited rage and seemingly unsolvable questions. Again the reactions are all understandable and necessary. They are part of the grieving and digestion process. How these tragedies can be prevented is a much needed discussion, but in my heart and soul the sadness lies in our human condition. Within the family of our humanity. If we focus on condemnation, persecution, litigation, and legislation I feel we are missing a deeper layer to this story. We are missing the message being sent to us via the lives of 49 souls.

These human brothers and sisters are connected to so many others in the world of atrocity. So many that go unheard yet happen everyday all over the world. Too many for us to let in the depth of. The world of social media has opened this Pandora’s Box of our collective shadow and also our collective heart. It tells our story even as it is hard to read many days. We are compelled as much as we are repelled. The rush to censure it really represents our fear of what lies in this shadow. We can’t put the top back on it. It is here and we are being drawn to face it with all the love we can muster so that we can heal it.

The radicalization of hate is reaction to a deep existential fear. A fear of losing identity, of sovereignty, of control. It is a well of unworth and a need to feel powerful when a large population is feeling powerless and scared. Love is highlighting where it has been held at bay out of this fear. A survivor of the shooting even said, “A part of me wants to kill him”. Of course it does. It was taken from and seeks something to make it feel better even when in the end justice can’t heal the pain of the tragedy. So the hate lives inside us all. Still. It is just coming out through those that are closer to it.

We cannot ignore what is plainly in front of our faces. The darkness still has work to do. We are being shown that we need to go into our own shadows as we grieve, react, and propose solutions. The energies of the Equinox are here to shed light on that which has been in the dark. Hidden and suppressed. It is guiding us to harness this light so that we can really see…everything. Not just what parts of us want to. This is the real grit of Ascension. It is not all rainbows and unicorns. It is not all hell either. It is our messy way toward embodied light and love.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

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The Rise And Balance Of the Mental Body During The Equinox

I think therefore I am.

This was an invitation to go beyond what we “knew” about the world around us and dive into the world that resides within us. A philosopher’s creed. There was so much to think about in regards to the nature of existence and our place within it as humans. This heightened sense of cognition and curiosity led to so many discoveries in the mathematics of life. Pythagoras finding God in geometry. The inevitable rise of knowledge leading to power.

A mental grid blanket formed over the heart. Efficiency, productivity, invention, and progress became the engine of modern civilized industrialization. The masculine drive lost touch with its counterpart of intuition, cooperation, trust, kindness, and decency. It is not they do not exist, but they do struggle to find balance and a place at the table of humanity.

Even religion and spirituality can have its mental overlays that keep it “out there” rather than right “in here”. In the heart. In the now. It is not an attack on the mind, but rather a much needed and desired relationship to it. The unbalanced and unfelt masculine has been at war with itself and the world around it.

There is a sacred energetic poultice that is occurring here on Gaia during this Equinox. This mentalized and scared sacred part of ourselves is coming to the surface to be loved. To be felt in its protection, in its need for control, and its fear. This part has a lot of discernment and can be very unsentimental which is needed in certain situations. But it can be at the sacrifice of something quite innocent and tender inside of us.

This “mental body” has a name and a story. It has a deep purpose as a guide and a manifestor. It can be an Inner Protector, Inner Punisher, Inner Matriarch/Patriarch. Yet, when left unfelt it can create blocks to our emotional and spiritual bodies.

Raphael Awen and I will be discussing this (with both heart and mind) in our next Sacred Masculine video. We will seek to connect to this part of us to feel what it has to say about all the doing and thinking that has kept many of us from truly feeling and experiencing the kind of joy and expanded consciousness that is right there waiting for us to embody and experience beyond the mind.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Addiction As A Portal Into The Heart And Soul

“What is gripping you as an addiction is actually a profound invitation and portal into what your heart and soul came here to learn.” – words from my teacher and partner Raphael Awen this morning.

Addiction is something anyone can be struggling with regardless of spiritual awareness. It is actually a portal INTO your spirituality that addiction can take you. At the root of this painful loop, is a feeling, an experience, a part of you that is in deep need to be felt. They can range from an inner protector/punisher, inner mother/father, teenager, child, or multidimensional self that is struggling to be and resonate in this dimension of existence.

For men, these addictions can range from alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, pornography, over-working, sex, unhealthy relationship, politics, news, depression, anxiety and even things that are intended to be positive such as spirituality itself. For women it can be closely related yet with differences. It is not the thing one is addicted to that is at question, but rather the relationship we have to it.

What is it that lies under the need for the thing itself? What is it that it is so very much wanting us to steer clear of? By accessing the inner world of parts can you then feel the one that is using the addiction as a safety net, or in many cases an blowhorn for your attention.

YOU are not the addiction. When one can find space between himself and the part that is addicted a whole consciousness comes into view that can lead to a healing relationship that is internally generated and held with support along the way. This part can begin the journey of receiving its needs through YOU, the centered heart, and not the object of the addiction. It can receive Love from the Divine and other spirits through this channel of You.

It is an ongoing and sometimes difficult journey that can only start with one question that leads to feeling. What is it that you need that you are not getting from the inside?

Raphael and I will be discussing this topic in our next sacred masculine live stream this Wednesday. Time to be announced, but it will be in the afternoon Pacific Time. The recording will be shared on our feeds and on our SoulFullHeart Experience channel. We are looking forward to hearing from many of you who are moving, or have moved through difficult addictions.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Being An Ambassador Of Love To The Wounded Masculine

“Three percent of men aged 18-24 felt that the term ‘masculinity’ meant kindness. One percent felt it meant respectfulness, honesty or supportiveness.”

This was from a report shared in Men’s Health magazine in the UK (thanks, Andy Bowker). It signifies how the current Man Meme as had an impact on the health of men in both the UK and US. One can extrapolate out to other countries as well just by feeling the conditions and geopolitics of other regions. It revealed how a disproportionate number of men commit suicide before the age of 45, and beyond that the largest cause is heart dis-ease.

The inaccessibility to our deepest feelings, under the rage, depression, and anxiety, has caused a schism in the well-being of the collective male heart and soul. The allegiance to a particular set of ‘norms’ has created a swell of unfelt emotion that eventually has its unfortunate consequence.

The term ‘toxic masculine’ has made its way into the narrative and there has been a backlash that has only fueled a sense of attack against manhood. I frankly do not like the term as it only serves to create more divisiveness.

What I want to feel is what prevents/influences this healthy need to express our feelings as men. For me, it was a fear of being seen as weak, girly, or gay. As I sought to heal this pain inside of me, I needed to confront the wounded masculine parts of me that held these judgements toward myself. A collusion between an inner protector and inner punisher. I needed to act as an ambassador to these parts of me that eventually led to my wounded feminine.

When you dig down deep enough as a man, you eventually get to her. She is alone, afraid, and tired. This inaccessibility and suppression of her can lead to some pretty unfortunate health consequences. As men, we cannot continue to ignore this innate side of our human nature. This is the balance we need to find so that we can feel more free in our masculine humanity and less confined to a fear loop.

Raphael Awen and I will be talking about this and more sacred masculine topics in our upcoming Facebook live stream this Wednesday at 2:22pm PST. It will be available on my feed afterward as well as on our YouTube channel, SoulFullHeart Experience. We look forward to your participation and engagement about this journey of the sacred masculine awakening.

For more on the sacred masculine with myself, Raphael, and Jelelle, you can check out this video: https://youtu.be/X6ueoUK4aDo

I am honored to be on this journey with all the courageous hearts and souls that have chosen to go within.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Loving Your Inner Beast

By Raianna Shai

Self judgement and unworthiness are feelings that are hard to reach the root of. It can take years of unraveling just why and how we truly see ourselves and how it plays out in our lives. We can point fingers at all the people who made us feel small. The people who judged us. The people who could never forgive our mistakes. The people who invalidated our feelings.

But what about the part of you that has done all the same things? The part that tells you you’re not good enough. That constantly reminds you of your mistakes. That judges every move you make, every awkward thing you do. What if this part of you wasn’t just judging you, but judging itself? And what if all the hate and anger and insults were just this part’s way of trying to protect you? We are not victims to our circumstances, so anyone or anything that hurts you is a reflection of a part inside that hurts you too.

I’ve been working with this part of me lately, which can be called a Punisher part, to feel how and why my insecurity can get in the way of my own self love and how it affects my relationships. His name is Brutus and he sees himself as a beast – like in Beauty and the Beast. And all of the goodness that lives inside me can be represented by a rose covered in a glass case. He is fiercely loyal and strives to protect this rose by any means necessary. But his version of protection is to judge her until she does everything perfectly – then no one else can judge her.

This part of me is not easy to feel. He is harsh, brutal and very unforgiving. Every person that has ever gotten mad at me, judged me, or insulted me has actually been backed up by him. He takes everything that was said or felt about me and multiplies it by 10. He expects me to do better, he feels ashamed for how I acted or things I said, he punishes me for doing something wrong.

So instead of using the knowledge and intuition he has about my emotions to protect me, he actually just makes me feel worse about it. But one thing I’ve learned is that he just wants love himself. In his vulnerability, he feels so much remorse for how he has made other parts of me feel about themselves and in turn, other people. He feels he doesn’t deserve love or forgiveness.

But the second me and all parts of me truly forgave him, he started to shift massively. He turned into a prince and he could feel all that he has to offer. Intuition, discernment, and a healthy protection and transparency about how I’m really feeling.

So when I am feeling unworthiness or when there is a truth I need to say to someone, I can call on him and his opened out heart to say what I need to say. Instead of letting my hurt build up and explode out, we will work together to be honest and loving to ourselves and others. Because kindness cannot come from an empty vessel. We must cultivate it within ourselves so deeply, that we can’t help but overflow into others.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Pain Of Letting Go Into Love

By Raianna Shai

Letting go is one of the hardest processes we go to through in our lives. Whether it’s letting go of a career, a pattern/habit, a geography, or a relationship it can bring up so much for us to process. Letting go is so much harder than holding on.

Parts of us can judge us for our decision – feeling that you made a mistake, that you hurt or disappointed someone, that you did something wrong or will regret your decision. The best thing to do here is to feel compassion for this part. Give it love knowing that it just wants the best for you and it may be scared that it couldn’t protect you from this pain you may feel.

Letting go is painful but it also leads to a beautiful new beginning. Maybe you get that new job you always wanted or a geography that inspires your heart and soul. Maybe you get the chance at a new phase of an old relationship or a new one that reflects the love you have cultivated inside.

It can feel like you’re dying inside during this process. Like you’ll never feel happy or be yourself again. Or maybe you feel hurt and angry and find it hard to feel why it’s all happening, especially if it felt out of your control. Maybe you can’t feel anything or you can’t stop feeling everything.

And sometimes it comes in waves. A comment here or a reminder there can spark tears at the drop of a hat. Then you have a moment of clarity, a moment of knowing it will all be okay. Then you feel the guilt or the shame and it all comes crumbling back down. These are all parts of you that have reasons for feeling the way they do. Feel the pain, but let the clarity and love hold it all.

Whatever you feel there is always another side of it. A realization waiting to happen. A new love for yourself and life will start to creep in. A new view on what you have and what you want to have will fill your heart and inspire you.

All this can happen if you truly let go. Let go of expectations, let go of judging yourself or others, let go of what others might think of you. Mourn the loss, mourn what could have been and the goodness of what was and then let love fill the space. As hard as that may sound right now, it will come. Whether it takes days, months or years it will come and it will be beautiful.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Meet Your Inner Punisher Guided Meditation – DAY 19: 33 DAYS DEEPEN W/JELELLE AWEN (VIDEO)

DAY NINETEEN: DEEPEN 33 Day Video Series – Meet Your Inner Punisher Guided Meditation W/Jelelle Awen

This is day nineteen of 33 in my daily video series called Deepen. Today, I introduce you to another important part of your inner family formed during this lifetime. Your Inner Punisher is an energy that has formed due to receiving punishment and criticism in this life….usually from a caregiver, teacher, mate, etc. It also forms in response to the dualistic judging in 3D consciousness. Most Inner Punishers of empathic and sensitive people direct the punishment frequencies inward rather than outward at others, although both can be true. Directing the energies inward is a self protection strategy.

The Inner Punisher has a relationship with your Inner Child/Inner Teenager in that it punishes/judges and then there is a corresponding shame/unworthiness reaction from the younger parts of you. It is this punishment and shame loop that is often at the root of much self suppression and staying small patterns in relationships, vocations/soul purpose expression, body image, etc.

The Inner Punisher shifts from making judgements without love and care to the capacity to offer discernments WITH love and bring direct truths WITH compassion. These are very important abilities as we move into our service of love self and serving others.

In the meditation today, Yeshua and Mother Mary provide us with lots of compassionate love as we journey to meet your Inner Punisher. You connect first with your Inner Protector to gain access to this part. Then you connect with the energy of your Inner Punisher and discover what their world looks and feel like so you can begin to create a loving buffer between them and your younger parts.

Thank you for joining me on this nineteenth day of 33….as we move into Deepening energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

More about parts/Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

You can watch each video in the Deepen playlist on my SoulFullHeart Experience You Tube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist…

I will be hosting a group session over Zoom to digest your experience during this series for a $11 USD minimum. The next one will be on Saturday, February 2nd at 11:00am PST. More info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/2189383564650970/

You are welcome to share your experiences of this guided meditation here on FB and I will respond to your sharings.

Jelelle Awen
1:1 bridging and ongoing sessions available with me for women over 25 and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators (Gabriel and Raphael with women/men and Kalayna with woman 25 and under) to deepen this connection with your Protector, Inner Child, Lemurian, and other precious parts/Metasoul aspects! More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Seeing The World Through The Eyes Of Your Parts/Metasoul Aspects

Note from Jelelle Awen: This is beautiful writing from Devon, who has been in sessions with me for the last few months. She describes wonderfully what it is like to connect with different aspects of yourself (the Inner Punisher and Gatekeeper esp.) and see/feel your world through their lens. You can viscerally feel the energies of these different aspects of her through the sharing of their experience and poetry too. Go here to read more about these parts/Metasoul aspects: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

By Devon Heart Star

As I continue the process of parts work that I have dedicated myself to, during the holiday season, it has become clear that my Inner Punisher needs the most undivided attention and love from me, right now. The Inner Punisher is often a masculine energy and working with this part is similar to Shadow Work. This is not work for the faint of heart and I often want to give up! But my Soul or Higher Self has done so much work with me and continues to support me coming more into Love, that it’s truly impossible to quit.

It’s almost like each part of me has its own pair of glasses it gets to put in front of my eyes, and that is how I experience my 3D life, from the emotional eyes of each of these parts’ feelings, depending upon who’s energy has been pushed up for the most immediate attention. Once I learn about each part and actually get to feel them, giving them space from being fused to me or taking over me, powerful relationships, love, and trust, can begin within, with each of them. And this creates the space for my 4D and 5D and beyond Self to begin to emerge or descend or ascend or settle in. It’s all a very personal experience, yet has a commonality for most people drawn to this work. Eventually, I get to know when I am wearing the glasses that my Heart/Higher Self desires to wear; those of love and vulnerability, and I can continue to practice looking at my various parts with those Heart glasses, offering them the love they are longing for from me.

Back to today’s work with my Inner Punisher, Oscar. In a moment of clarity, when he was feeling safe and loved by me, he showed himself as Oscar the Grouch. I thought it was pretty funny and spot-on, so he took the name Oscar, right about the time I was going to see The Grinch movie. Both of them are green monsters who turned their back on love because of the grief they experienced in not receiving the love they so desired as children. Oscar feels safer being able to retreat into his dark can, where he still believes he deserves to be and is safe from making others angry. When he is in full-swing mode, he is the underlying pair of glasses I don’t even know I’m wearing, the voice within that speaks to me harshly, judges myself and others harshly, at times, although that is just another reason to punish himself, and basically sabotages before we can be sabotaged by someone else.

We have another significant part who seems to offer an escape hatch for Oscar when Oscar feels like his monster-self cannot be loved and the pain of that too much to bear. My Gatekeeper, Jonathan, has had a strong place in my world since my teen years, even though most people do not experience their Gatekeeper until they first really dive deep into parts work. I didn’t know him as the Gatekeeper until parts work, but he was working with me all these years, as I traveled to other dimensions and experienced alternate realities, so to speak. The energies from this would, of course, overwhelm me, physically, but I never could seem to stop them. I am still learning about my relationship with Jonathan and about his connection to Oscar, as he offers him portals and worm holes, and massive amounts of information from other timelines when his emotions become too big for this world. Anyway, Jonathan offered up some wisdom (as he is a most excellent timeless wisdom channel) that I wanted to share:

Forgiveness is a ceremony
Not an act
Self-forgiveness is a ritual
Not just a word
Cultivating forgiveness requires darkness
Diving straight into
the darkest canyons
and depths within
It requires a strength that is so soft
it can tread across
the fires of the Heart
with a willingness to burn up in the attempt
Forgiveness is no small act
You’ll have to face parts of you
that you fear most
who will mirror your courage
in their pleading gaze
You’ll need to bring your biggest light
and that divine part of you
who has no fears
Because cultivating self-forgiveness
creates the bridge
for everyone to come home to love

Thank you, Jonathan!

Everyone can relate to experiencing the Inner Punisher energy and the deep desire to heal within. I’ve learned so much and continue this invaluable process with Jelelle Awen, co-creator of and many other amazing titles at SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. You can get one-to-one very full sessions with her or other wonderful facilitators, find out more at soulfullheartwayoflife.com
I love this heart tribe 💜

 

Your Truth Is Your Uniqueness

When you feel like a blade of grass, remember you are watered by a snowflake.

These are words I felt to offer a soul aspect of mine that I am connecting with that can feel like he is not unique in the world. He has relegated himself to one of many in order to not be seen as unique, and therefore subject to criticism and persecution. He has invalidated his own truth, his own uniqueness in order to stay as the blade rather than the snowflake that he is. Just like each and every one of us.

These timelines run thick in our collective vein. The specifics of each are different for each of us but the theme is the same. The fear of breaking out of the herd in order to be heard. To be seen. As I feel into the depths of this wounding, I can see myself on both sides of the punisher/shame coin. The persecutor and the persecuted. They sit in the same room and to feel them both as me is its own unique experience. To be a third party to it, I can be a bridge to the two worlds. I can offer compassion, space, and a heart to land in. I can be the mediator of the healing between both poles and begin the integration process.

These are not just concepts or words coming together, but actual visceral lives that hold poignancy and relevancy. It is an inner play that is acted out and truly felt as real because it is. The tears and pain prove it in my book…and my heart. Not just in my head. The story is still new to me and details arising and I feel to keep it sacred inside of me, but I felt to share the theme and the process as I can feel it resonating with others that are awakening into there own largess of being.

For as we all go down this path of Integration and Ascension, you come to these places where parts of you have invalidated what they have truly felt as Truth on the inside in order to be that blade of grass. Connecting with the Higher Self and Inner Truth, you can water that blade with all the necessary courage and strength to make your selves be known to You and then to the world without fear of being punished for you hold the the light of Love inside of you. It does not seek validation from the outside anymore. This is where freedom reigns and true love lives.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Welcome To The Upside-Down: The Birthing Of Golden Earth

Welcome to the Upside-down. It is what I am seeing and feeling as I check in with Gaia and the global condition in relation to Her. This is a time of expecting the unexpected. Situations both politically and environmentally that will not follow former historical patterns. There will be a lot of analysis and theories that will be thrown into the mix but those will change from moment to moment in order to feel some sense of control. This is understandable. There is a fear in all of us around change, especially if it wasn’t seen coming.

Whether these unexpected occurrences are part of a deeper sinister plan or a natural part of this ascension process, these changes are going to uproot the shadow that is in deep need of being seen, felt, and reconciled. It could very well be that this ‘sinister plan’ is part of the ascension process. They are symbiotic. If we get stuck in the polarity of it I feel we are missing an opportunity to actually heal it.

This is why we are being called and invited to go IN. Not to continually seek victory or analytical solution. Those are outbound and outdated. This is the Upside-down. They will no longer hold the power they used to. It is the power of taking our consciousness inward that is the portal to being with these epic changes that are in process and on their way. I believe that the more we continue to do this the greater the changes occur and thus the rate of unpredictability to those that are not.

There is a tsunami that is on our shores and that is Love. It does destroy and it does upend. It is meant to as what is Not Love can only ever be returned to that which Is Love. This is about feeling inside of you where the Not Love lives and bringing this Love Wave to it. It is honoring, feeling, and negotiating with your Protector to permit that to happen. It is awakening the Gatekeeper to heal the soul wounds to unfurl and share your soul gifts. This is the new norm. This is the Inside-Out. It won’t be pretty but it will be real and it will bring healing. This is the birth of Golden Earth.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.