From Self-Created Smallness To Embodying Your Vastness

The pain can come from being small. From learning to act small and conform to the smallness around you. The suffering comes from their projection of smallness onto you and the acceptance of this that then becomes your reality….and theirs too. It is a co-created agreement to be and remain in smallness.

The smallness is the 3D agreement of filtering. It makes up the veil of amnesia and the belief in it keeps the veil in place. The pain comes from the long term fusion to this sense of smallness as the truth of who you are. It comes from the forgetting of the truth of your VASTNESS.

Parts of you form to support this smallness picture. These parts of you repeat the message of it over and over in self punishing tones and voices. The unworthiness message battles your body, your emotions, your spirituality, your choices….whatever can be picked on or is vulnerable to attack.

This punishing frequency forms layers of protection and guardedness over your innocence. Your innocence becomes covered over with shame and feelings of wrongness. Your trust in life and yourself gets layered over with distrust. Your sense of goodness about yourself becomes buried over with unworthiness and self hate.

These parts of you feel then that they ARE unworthy, are shameful, are wrong by their very nature. So much suffering in this usually unconscious looping of the punisher part and the corresponding reactions of shame in the younger parts of you. This is a well oiled and fuelled system inside designed to keep you small, created to cap your growth, and reinforced to maintain itself. It is designed to keep you protected, even if it is limiting.

There is not some evil force of aliens or demons or negative entities or abusive spiritual teacher that keep this personal hell in manifest form from within you. This is not being done to you BY others, even as it can very much feel that way. The others in your life that reflect and reinforce this smallness picture are there only to offer you a reflection of this inner polarized state for it continue to come into your awareness….over and over again if necessary until you wake to it as being sourced from INSIDE of you.

This is a self created smallness that your soul chose for good reason….until it is the time and phase to complete it. Only you can realize when that time is and only you can end it.

You end it by bringing love to all the parts of you that have felt so unworthy, including the parts of you that punish, judge, attack, and shame you and others. You separate from these parts in order to have a relationship with them and not just become them in their routinized reactions.

This creates an increasing sense of your goodness, of your worthiness and….of your vastness. This inner ambassadorship to all frequencies inside of your BEing connects you to the truth of your bigness again. To your innate goodness again. To your innocence again.

Who ARE you? You ARE Infinite Love in human form….arising into your bigness expression for the service of and because of love. Any picture less than that is ripe to be loved into this infinite love realized manifestation state again.

Welcome back to the VASTNESS of you….love can show the way!! ~

Message from the Divine, Star Family Guides/Aspects, Angelic Aspects, ALL of your parts that ache for something NEW that is based in love……..

*****

Jelelle Awen is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador and Co-Creator/Teacher/Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Healing, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group calls, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheart.org

Unplugging And Healing The Black Widow Program And Aspect Within

A week from Sunday, Raphael Awen and I will be hosting a men’s group call about the subject of Sovereignty and Surrender, joined by our brother in heart, James Elphick. We will be diving into a topic that feels to have a lot of vibration for us men (as well as the masculine in women).

I have been in process of feeling a deeper layer of my mother wounding that is connected to a shadow feminine matrix programming called Black Widow. This is the name I received from this part/aspect of me I have been connecting with around this energy. She first showed up as a black widow spider to illuminate the nature of this woundedness and the programming itself. Then she morphed into a dominatrix with whip, heels, and all.

After some time of connecting with her and feeling who she really is underneath that all, I could feel something lighten and begin to get more clarity about this energy that may live in a lot of us men. This energy that uses guilt, shame, judgment, sexuality, comfort, and fear to keep us locked in a lower frequency, a state of suffering, a lulled state of disempowerment, or inner and outer judgment/punishment.

It is an inner battle of wanting to free ourselves from this web she weaves that I feel we as men are really trying to feel sovereign from. When we are engaged with other women in intimacy, this can really flare up. It triggers this need to be independent yet also the need to be connected in one form or another. There is a part of us that is in a push and a pull toward this energy and it is hard to feel fully empowered and vulnerable at the same time.

When she has this wounded Inner Mother energy, our Inner Teenager can feel the need to push back and seek independence. If she comes as Punishing energy, we may feel defensiveness and another need to push back. When it comes in as Fear, we may go to fight or flight. When she comes with sexuality we lose ourselves in our need for validation.

This Black Widow program/wounding has lost her connection to Innocence and to her own worth. She guards as well as feeds off this energy. Possessing it for herself out of need, not really out of some negative agenda, though it certainly feels that way at first. When I connect more with her with Love, the more she goes into her pain and her fear. Here is where healing and true sovereignty begin.

I can start to feel when this energy frequency of doubt, judgement, anxiety, or fear come in and I go to her. I feel her afraid to lose touch with me. I recognized those feelings were a tactic to keep my younger parts close to her. I am now going to her and bring her with me into the New. Into the Light from the dark crevice I first met her in.

In her more healed essence, she is our creativity and our sensuality. She is a face of our sacred feminine and our intuition. She is our truth and our discernment. She is our surrendered sovereignty into Divine Trust. She is our entrance into the exit of the Matrix itself. She knows the way. She knows how it works and operates. With that we can start to unplug (a sovereign choice) and surrender into the the New Earth world that is awaiting our creative power to encode New Earth inside and then on the outside.

If you are feeling a resonance or a curiosity about this programming/wounded inner mother energy and how it has influenced your feeling of your personal empowerment, sovereignty, and maybe a fear of surrendering into vulnerability, please join Raphael, James, and myself on this upcoming men’s group call. Visit http://www.soulfullheart.org/mensgroupcalls for more information. We would love to have you and feel what is moving for you in this area.

I also offer a free 45-minute consult/information call for both men and women that are wanting to feel more about how the SoulFullHeart process and space-holding may support this deeper dive into your wounding and unplugging. Visit http://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions for more info as well.

I will be writing more about this topic in relation to romance, intimacy, and community in the following week so please stay tuned. Sending much love to all during these very intense, yet activating times.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

One Year Later: Freeing Yourself From The Psychodemic

One year ago we all found ourselves walking through the threshold of a New World Order. An Order rooted in fear, facts, and fallacy. It was our global 9/11 moment and it has forever changed the way we experience the world we live in and those we relate to. We have become Alice in Wonderland wondering when the hell things will ‘get back to normal’.

I don’t believe there can ever be a going back. The collective psyche has been altered. Forget about your DNA, which is still being worked on depending who is doing the ‘working’, but the soul of our humanity is being altered. This has not all been for naught, however. There has been a lot that has become clear for many as this whole grand experiment/experience has awakened a population to what is real and what is not for each of us.

Science Fiction is coming alive before our very eyes. It clearly was never ‘fiction’ but a precursor to what was to come. It has become more of Science Friction. The use of science, ‘facts’, and fear as a weapon against ourselves and each other. We have been in a pinball game or roller coaster of emotion for some time now and it is becoming normalized. Life has become a dystopian novel trying to find its way into our consciousness. The question is will we let it?

As much as we may have a compulsion to go ‘out there’ to and solve the global psychodemic, it feels even more imperative to go inward. Like Neo running into Agent Smith at the end of the Matrix movie, we are being called to find the matrix tyrant within us. Who is this shady creature from the Black Lagoon of our Shadow and Control Center. The Wizard of our Oz. As so many wise and ascended masters have told us, as above, so below. What is outside, is inside.

This ‘creature’ is not a boogyperson. It is a engrained, conditioned, and legacy aspect of us from a bygone era. It is our connection to the System that we were born and raised in. It is being fed a consistent diet of bullshit that it has learned to accept as real food. Just like Neo was hooked up to the multitude of tubes when he woke up in that egg-like container. To meet this aspect of you is to meet yourself, but in this poorly-written and poorly-directed Epic of Gilgamesh we are calling ‘reality’.

I invite you to find and meet this aspect of you. It needs your sacred heart. Your soul spark. Your Divine Self to come and save it. YOU don’t need saving! This part of you does. There is NOTHING out there can can do the saving, the living, the liberating. It’s all you, my friend. This aspect of you has been judged, out of fear and control, to be a dark entity. Not so. The tag was put on it so you wouldn’t find him/her/it so that you could actually free yourself from the spiderweb that has been crafted for eons.

This aspect may not be found easily, or may even resist out of fear. The timing will present itself if you can consistently go into your heart and connect with Love. It is Love that lights the tunnels and caves of this Dark World. It is Love that holds the keys to the locked doors. It is Love that can hold the space for the fear, the hate, the unworth. It is Love that exists within you that is your saviour. It is your shamanic medicine against tyranny, injustice, and control.

I will work on a guided meditation to meet this aspect of you caught in the grids, the web, the inner caves of the matrix. This is where true freedom lives. The crossroad of the heart and soul, using the mind to create what wants to be made real or real-ized. You don’t need a degree to get there. Just a desire for a New World Order within rooted in Love and not Fear.

*****

Aurius Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and space-holder.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Ahimsa: Healing The Inner Violence To Feel Our Non-Violence

Ahimsa. It is a Sanskrit word that means “non-injury” or “non-violence”. In my recent process of diving into sexual and emotional trauma as a young boy and teen, I have been able to access the more innocent and essential aspect of me.

This In-Essence, I am calling it, is so very sensitive yet strong and enduring. When I tap into it, I feel how much violence I have learned to be with this life, and many others. This is true for all of us when we get to this very kernel of our Being. When I go outside, I am aware of the violence all around. Things that I would not have deemed as violent before. Sounds, words, actions, thoughts, energies, etc.

Now, going down that awareness road could lead me to just hold up in a cave somewhere and never come out. Of course, that is not what I want (well, maybe a part of me would be okay with that for a short time). What I want to feel is how I can practice Ahimsa in each moment with myself, with Other, and with the World.

The first thing for me is to be aware of the violence within and hold it with compassion. From a SoulFullHeart perspective this violence can come in the form of an Inner Punisher and/or our inner unworth. One parcels out the violence the other acquiesces to it. Holding space for both brings them into relationship, into forgiveness, and into healing.

The more we can heal the violence and unworthiness within, the more we become aware of what is not Ahimsa for us in each moment. That which did not seem violent yesterday may seem much more so tomorrow. The thoughts we have, the things we eat, the way we eat, the way we have sex, the way we talk, the things we say, the feelings we have, the expression or suppression that ensue. The list goes on.

It is Consciousness loving Itself in the most subtle of ways. Compassion is the bridge that takes us there. We cannot find ourselves in a vacuum devoid of violence but we can choose what we are a part of and/or how we respond to situations. Ahimsa becomes a momentary mediation on Love, just as much as holding the part of us that doesn’t feel it has ever really known it or deserves it.

Take a moment to be still and feel Ahimsa. Feel what is not. There the healing begins.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

What We Heal In Ourselves We Heal In The World

by Monica Devi Bhakti

Today I found myself deep in a spin of the fear control matrix. I was feeling the intensity of my emotions, as well as the emotions of the collective. I reached out and got wise words from this beautiful SoulFullHeart community. Many thanks especially to Gabriel Heartman.

I also remembered back with gratitude to a session with Jelelle Awen, recognizing the need to disconnect from the collective, to find myself and my truth.

I went in and checked in with my parts. I found a Young One deep in fear, and my Inner Punisher running rampant – or so I thought. What I realized then, was that my Punisher was my Inner Masculine, actually trying to help the Young One. He was in a frenzy trying to find what would help this little one’s fear and help her feel safe. He felt so helpless and was lashing out, demanding that I make a plan and take action, even if I don’t know where I am going, or what is next for me. This sent me down endless rabbit holes of possibilities as if just taking just any action would assuage the fear. And I did take some actions and explore some possibilities. This helped for a bit. What helped more was to engage the deep well of the Inner Sacred Feminine – to allow the feelings, to allow that they are not wrong, not something that I need to make go away, but to listen to and honor deeply. These feelings do not need to be forcefully “shifted” into a ”higher consciousness” – that in fact to try to do so, was an act of aggression towards myself and spiritual bypass. Not to mention a judgment of what is good and what is not, what is “light” and what is not. As I have said – What part of All That Is, am I trying to make not a part of All That Is? What part of knowing that everything is the light, am I denying?

I find if we want to “fix” something, it’s because it makes us uncomfortable, and we are judging it. We want it to go away.

I realized that this is also part of what is happening in the collective. Theories and opinions about the actions of others, and who will stay in 3D and who will move into higher planes of consciousness, are so prevalent. I also notice how many are full of spiritual judgment and bypass. I’m speaking here of the conversations that do not include the essential ingredient of compassion. The bridging needed in the world – that this SoulFullHeart work helps do so beautifully within ourselves.

When we see the darkness, the actions that others have taken that seem so heinous, of course we have emotion and recoil. It scares us. It scares us that there is pain out there so deep, that it would turn on others in such awful ways. It shows us that Inner Punishers, unchecked and unloved, can become outer Tyrants and Abusers.

I know the truth that actions such as those only come from deep, unfelt pain and wounding. I know it because I have seen it, over and over. I have experienced it, over and over. One in self-love simply does not take those actions.

Love does not harm.

So what will help that deep wounding? Will ostracizing others and making them wrong – even in subtle spiritual ways – bring healing? If it doesn’t work inside, why would it work outside?

My experience today is that compassion, love will always be the one true answer.

I can so easily allow and witness the shadow in the world and others with non-judgment and compassion. Hold sacred space. My challenge currently is to witness and allow my deep shadow. Hold sacred space, and be, as Jelelle says, ‘the Love Ambassador’ – to myself.

What we heal in ourselves, we heal in the world.

May peace and love be mine, and yours, today and always.


***Monica Devi Bhakti is a SoulFullHeart Facilitatant, Collaborator, holder of sacred space, love generator, healer and writer.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

SoulFullHeart Museletter:New Earth Energies Invite Bringing Amnesty To All Darkness/Polarities

Happy Monday! This week there were big shifts in the SoulFullHeart community with the emergence of Kalayna Solais back as a Facilitator and Jelelle Awen taking a step back from facilitation to focus on the larger context and future of the community and offering. We focused on the continuing digestion of our current times and how it relates to our individual and collective processes. Read the full Museletter here.

Featured this week is a piece from Kalayna Solais. In it, she feels through her own personal experience of the ongoing healing of the darkness and opening into forgiveness as true ambassadorship of love:

“There is still a very strong narrative playing out right now of light dispelling darkness. Yet, darkness cannot be destroyed. Your own darkness cannot be destroyed. It needs room to be felt and understood, a chance to make its case and be heard.”

The ‘Free To Be’ group call series continues this Wednesday. It’s already week four! If you’ve missed the previous calls, you can offer a donation at any time and receive the recording and also the link to attend any of the future calls live if you can or want to.

During this week’s call we will offer teachings about the necessary digestion and processing around navigating social relationships with friends, family, and mates before and during the transition. Connect during the meditation with the relationships and the part of you that are most needing negotiation around transitioning to more soul resonant frequencies and becoming a bridge for others.

For more information about this series, visit soulfullheart.org/freetobe

Also this week is the reemergence of Kalayna Solais in the role of facilitation! Kalayna expresses her appreciation and gratitude for the journey back into her soul purpose and offers her own Inner Protector meditation. There is a video by Raphael and Jelelle Awen sharing tree codes as they go on a beautiful hike in the forests of Vancouver Island in British Colombia. Jelelle offers light language activation from the trees to you.

There are many new articles and audio blogs this week from SoulFullHeart Facilitators/teachers, Raphael and Jelelle Awen, as well as SoulFullHeart Facilitator Kalayna Solais and facilitant Gabriel Heartman. There are energy updates, personal process digestions, and ways to look at and feel what is happening on the 3D, 4D, and 5D consciousness levels.

Check out our ‘Quotes of The Week’ section for some quote cards you can save and share! If you can, please do tag us whenever possible.

Raphael Awen and Kalayna Solais are available for 1:1 sessions to support you and your ongoing process. Raphael works with men and women and Kalayna works with women only. More info here: soulfullheart.org/sessions

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Healing!

You can offer a donation to SoulFullHeart via PayPal here: paypal.me/jelelleawen

You can subscribe to our Museletters here: soulfullheart.org

Check out the latest Museletter here.

Freeing The Inner Masculine From Enslavement To Joyful Embodiment

The Inner Masculine journey of healing is ongoing. Getting to know mine more and more each day has been a gift for both of us. Some days he feels light and airy, other days things just start to pile up one right after another. After having another session with Raphael a couple of days ago, we felt with my Inner Masculine how tired and in fear he has been most of this life. These feelings have been assuaged by lots of problem solving, working, busyness, and information gathering. Sex may have been the one thing that brought any relief, even if that feeling was short-lived.

As we continued to feel with my Inner Masculine, Raphael asked him what would be his ultimate expression if all of those overlording conditions were not present. His response was simply ‘Joy’. Unadulterated joy. That and unending acts of creation and service to others. Joy is a frequency that has been an elusive state of being most of my life. I have felt happy, content, and joyful in moments both short and long-term, but to really have an anchor in a Joy state while still feeling what is real in all moments, seems almost like a pipe dream to him.

What is authentic and genuine Joy as a core place rather than some elusive response based on external conditions? “Your guess is as good as mine!”, he wants to say. Yet there is a very visceral desire and awareness that this state does, in fact, exist. It is being broadcast by my Higher Self and the Divine. So he senses the home frequency, he just hasn’t been able to leave his country of condition to land in his country of origin.

As a tap into my Metasoul around this, as I did on the last SoulFullHeart Free To Be call, I can feel an enslavement consciousness, whereby I can see and feel both the slave holder and the slave. Both are actually held in tyranny. One on the outside and the other from within. The consciousness prevails over both. As the slave holder could feel this, he realized how this energy is a self-fulfilling loop and nobody gets anywhere from it. It is the proverbial self-made prison we create and we are given plenty of evidence that this is alive and well from the outside world.

The masculine has been in such darkness for so long. There is such a passionate desire to break those energetic chains and its punishing consciousness. To raise the sword of our power and cut those chains from within and release the enslavement into enheartenment. Release the Inner Child and the Inner Feminine so they can lead this masculine into the promised land of Joy, Abundance, and Service with Love. That is the daily ‘work’. That is the place where true alchemy can manifest our heaven on earth from within.

*****

You can still join us for our ongoing six week group call series Free To Be: Navigating the 3D Matrix to New Earth Transition. Our next group call is this Wednesday, April 22nd at 10:00am PDT in which we will discuss navigating relationships during this time, including sharings about the Inner Punisher and meditation to connect to your current relationships and shift to 5D sense of them. You can receive the recordings of any group calls you may have missed and the zoom link to join future ones at any time by open donation. There is more info here: soulfullheart.org/freetobe

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a facilitant, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

‘Sacred Sisterhood’ Is Emerging More As Part Of ‘New/5D Earth’ Transition

by Kalayna Solais

I wrote down some feelings of Sacred Sisterhood a few months ago when a new wave of ‘sacred sisters’ was just emerging onto my shores, in my heart and soul field, and in the flesh no less! This was not just about my growing INNER sisterhood, though that is always deepening and being felt more and more… this was about feeling the resonance of other women around my age and beyond that too, feeling us coming together more in realness, uniqueness, yet also a desire to heal and be healed and not leave any part of us or Metasoul aspect behind in the process.

I’m feeling something today about women learning to actually see each other and love each other deeply and how this seems to be happening within my beloved SoulFullHeart community and possibly elsewhere too. There is something to be said for the ‘restriction’ of not being able to go outward and do many outward things right now and feeling, then, the new portals to going inward – going YINward – that I feel is helping us all go to our next levels of feeling why we’ve had a hard time holding deeper friendships and being with other women as women. We’ve been invited to continue the journey of looking within and seeing each other as sacred mirrors of the continued inner work. We’ve been invited to feel the triggers yet actually find some stillness around them too, feeling the parts and Metasoul aspects in other timelines where they could be coming from, which then leads to a more open heart towards each other.

I hear women claiming ‘realness’ when they’re being harsh and even abusive, fusing to their Inner Punishers or other energies in their soul timelines and lashing out as a way to off-gas what actually isn’t about the other person at all. I hear women claim ‘Well, I am just direct and blunt’ when I can’t feel how this directness has heart or care in it for the other person. When I hear words like these, I can feel their Inner Matriarch who is in pain about never being met with actual realness, vulnerability, and care themselves and quite often they’ve also taken in these abusive frequencies, even from the maternal line in their birth families. Underneath this is often a pain of being the biggest soul in the room, who hasn’t ever felt truly initiated into their soul gifts or deeply seen for them either. It’s also an energy that covers over the more vulnerable energies and parts inside that just want to love and want the battles to be over so they can play and connect more with others, like with the Inner Child or even the Teenager once she has finally had some air.

In my deepening relationships with women in my life who have been very consciously working and feeling all this and more within themselves, what becomes new is the way in which it can all be shared… all the nuances of feelings and reactions. These parts don’t have to be any less ‘real’ or even more vulnerable and open than they’re ready for yet, yet they do get to be held now and seen in a new way, acknowledging that these energies they hold that often feel competitive and push away at the deeper love and intimacy that’s possible are NOT their whole story or all that they have within them.

I’ve been so pleasantly surprised (and not!) to feel how much deeper my relationships with these other women can go once we have done the work to be able to hold realness, feel reactions, share them, and also acknowledge the impact of this in every moment. The result of these exchanges is more love, not less, that gets to be shared; more seeing of each other and each other’s uniqueness and gifts; more compassion than was transactable between us before, for now we know more about each other’s backgrounds, stories, and ongoing processes.

This, to me, is a sacred template emerging for Sacred Sisterhood. It’s always in exploration. There are no rules and sometimes messes are made. Abuse is a thing of the past, though sometimes exchanges are intense if necessary. There’s a personal sense of accountability for your own energies and process and there’s a desire to be transparent and deepen the intimacy ground.

This all feels to me like the new ground going forward that’s possible in ALL relationships of all kinds if the time and space are taken to go inward, to lean into work such as this, to dig into those deeper wounds and find gold, and to begin, ultimately, to seed the ground of what New Earth/Golden Earth/5D Earth relationships get to look and feel like! There can only be BLISS as this moves and deepens our healing and the yield of 5D Earth/Sacred Human consciousness within you and in your relationships makes it all worth it. The practice ground for this is always within, yet when these sacred friendships emerge on your radar, this is a chance to really apply all you’ve realized and seek out all you’ve most wanted to experience but were afraid to ask for with another.

Much love!

Kalayna ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

 

 

Inner Punisher Triggers/Projections During This Coronavirus/3D Matrix Collapse

By Jelelle Awen

Levels of contention, disagreement, and making each other ‘wrong’ are really peaking at this time of unknown transition during the Coronavirus slowdown. These energies of contention have long been the case in 3D mainstream media, politics, religions, etc. Yet, the arguments right now, even amongst awakening and spiritual people that are more oriented to higher timelines, are surprisingly degrading down into exchanging personal insults, accusations of being ‘hijacked’ or ‘influenced’ by dark forces, not ‘getting it’ and not really being awakened and so on. Even amongst those who believe in and are creating the same timelines together (such as the Q movement), are attacking each other with infighting and putdowns and ‘calling each other out for being fakes’ becoming more common.

As an ambassador of love, I have been guided to ‘go into’ some of these battlegrounds even as they make me feel uncomfortable. These battlefields are so often, in our modern age, the comments sections of posts on social media and other places online. I have been stunned breathless at times at how cruel, degrading, and insulting people can be to each other. It hurts my heart to feel it as so often there is a deeper pain and fear there in the person that isn’t getting felt and CAN’T be with so much outer focused protection, defence, and judgemental energies going out.

I was feeling this too as a peak time for triggering the collective Inner Punisher/Critic frequencies and the Inner Punisher within each of us. The Inner Punisher is often ‘stuck’ in the polarized energies of judgement without love, which is often an internalized protection created to ‘fend off’ and acclimate to very judgemental energies coming toward them in the 3D experience, especially if it came from parents and birth family. The Inner Punisher is essentially a part that forms as a survival strategy and defense/protection in 3D. Empaths/sensitives/star seeds tend to have Inner Punishers that focus the judgement inward in extreme self criticism, self doubt, and low self worth rather than focusing it outward on others.

The Inner Punisher’s energy actually shifts to compassionate discernment as they are connected to in a conscious way through the SoulFullHeart process. I have experienced hundreds of previously ‘dark and judgy’ Inner Punishers shift into the noble, humble, and beautiful energies of intuitive discernment once they are ‘forgiven’ for their previous judgements and pain they have caused. Once this part of you is seen and loved with a compassionate heart by you, they can shift into being a vital member of your ‘inner’ team.

The current circumstances are triggering the Inner Punishers it feels like because the 3D/4D Matrix programs us to judge ourselves and others at a very young age. So much in 3D has been fueled by these judgemental energies. When part of us judges us or others, it immediately lowers our frequency. There is also necessary truth seeking and questioning going on right now for those in 3D and those moving into deeper levels of 4D Disclosure awakening. Clarity is being sought and informational sources are being looked to outside of the mainstream offerings. When that is primarily happening toward outside sources, there is less embodiment of your inner truth, your soul’s knowledge, and your own intuition. Yet, outside sources CAN mirror this inner knowing if they are looked at in that way.

If a Punisher part of someone is looking to an outside source though for THE truth, there will be an inner revolt going on, a personal sovereignty boundary that is breeched, an inner and outer rebellion, if you will. Feelings of resonance or dissonance with that outside source can create quite a lot of reactions inside for the Inner Punisher, who isn’t sure how to digest it. If that outer source of information is ALSO fused to their Inner Punisher (which is often the case it seems), then Inner Punisher meets outer Punisher and that is a recipe for contention, infighting, and judgemental projections both inside and outside. The Punisher Truthteller actually elicits feelings of shame and unworthiness in those who are taking in their truth…their energy is often angry, righteous and doesn’t see any other view than their own.

If you are taking in someone else’s truth and you are triggered into feelings of shame or unworthiness or even feeling ‘stupid’ for not knowing something or believing something, part of you is most likely reacting to the Inner Punisher in someone else. Your Inner Punisher may also be reacting to the Inner Punisher in someone else which brings up feelings of fighting and defending. Outside sources more anchored to higher frequencies can activate inspiration, inviting you to explore and land in YOUR own truth, yet not make you feel BAD or wrong about yourself.

Energies that make you question yourself in a judgmental way are rampant right now. For some souls, this is effective to help them start questioning life and reality. Yet, for those who are very sensitive to energies, the empaths/star seeds/healers of the world, these judgemental energies are difficult to navigate. I feel that I have to carefully track how much of these energies I take in as, while I am curious to feel and take in the timelines going on right now in the collective (again as an ambassador of love I feel it is important that I do so), I don’t want the information at the ‘cost’ of feeling judged and ‘kicked at’ as I no longer have these punishing energies inside of me.

These energies flying around do offer an opportunity to connect with your Inner Punisher and the part of you (usually an Inner Child) that feels shame reactions from them. This meditation helps you to connect with your Inner Punisher and Shame: https://youtu.be/3XvxkuX9YYs

True Divine essence doesn’t judge you or others or condemn or punish. The Divine, especially the Divine Mother expression, is holding much love for humanity as go through our Valley Of Shadows Of Death process to emerge into the light. Connect with Divine energies that feel supportive, loving, and compassionate and they can support you to find your own truth grounding in your soul’s path and process. These loving Divine energies can begin the process of inner forgiveness and activation of inner knowing that can help your Inner Punisher transmute and heal.

Love,

Jelelle Awen

You can still join us for our ongoing six week group call series Free To Be: Navigating the 3D Matrix to New Earth Transition. Our next group call is this Wednesday, April 22nd at 10:00am PDT in which we will discuss navigating relationships during this time, including sharings about the Inner Punisher and meditation to connect to your current relationships and shift to 5D sense of them. You can receive the recordings of any group calls you may have missed and the zoom link to join future ones at any time by open donation. There is more info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/freetobe

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. Jelelle is no longer offering 1:1 sessions yet for more information about  1:1 individual sessions with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group calls with Jelelle, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Inner Punisher And Shame Healing Guided Meditation: Video Seven Deepen 2020 Series W/Jelelle Awen

By Jelelle Awen

In this seventh video of my video series called Deepen 2020, I (Jelelle Awen, SoulFullHeart Teacher/Facilitator) talk about the often intense and largely subconscious relationship between an Inner Punisher part and a corresponding shame reaction in another part (usually an Inner Child or Inner Teenager). This dynamic of Punisher and shame creates a suffering loop that can lower your vibrational frequency, draw MORE judgement/shame from others in relationships, and diverts wisdom into judgements rather than discernment/intuitions felt with love.

I share about my own deep process to heal this Punisher-Shame loop inside myself (which was an internalized dynamic from my caregivers) and how I no longer experience these frequencies inside myself. I talk about WHY this dynamic exists and what the purpose of the Punisher-Shame loop is and it’s this investigation that allows you to ultimately offer compassion towards the parts that are involved in it.

In the guided meditation, I bridge to your Inner Punisher with Mother Mary and Yeshua, who provide a compassionate and forgiving energy of illumination and love to this part of you who can start to feel their essence as discernment and wisdom. We then tune into the part of you that is responding and triggered into shame in response to the Punisher’s judgement. We offer love to this shame-filled part so that they can start to feel their TRUE essence of innocence and goodness again.

Here is a guided meditation to meet your Inner Punisher, which is a good place to start before doing this video: https://youtu.be/SXlufQ_WBUU

Thank you for joining me in this video….as we move into Deepening energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

You can watch each video in the Deepen 2020 playlist on my SoulFullHeart Experience YouTube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNmrHdaQSAvLjwm17eBBTRhE3dbezYJdu

You can watch videos from my previous 33 Day Deepen series from 2019 here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNmrHdaQSAvLiLpw1qSOmQE-tsqhGSAD3

Money donations are so appreciated and received with gratitude as an energy exchange to support me and SoulFullHeart to continue providing free offerings such as this video series.

You can donate through paypal: paypal.me/jelelleawen or become a one-time or regular patreon donor: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart

This video series serves as an introduction and bridge to the powerful SoulFullHeart quantum healing process and cutting-edge way of life experienced and offered through 1:1 sessions with Jelelle for women and women and men with Raphael Awen and group calls/events/writings and more. For more information, visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com.