Day 9, Part 1 of 2 ~ Journal To The Demiurge

Journal To The Demiurge with Raphael Awen

By Raphael Awen

(This is Day 9 (Part 1 of 2), of an ongoing series, to begin at day 1, go here:

Raphael: Another Day, People, or BEings. It’s not so easy coming up with one title for all of us, and we’re getting larger in numbers, too, as we go.

I know, you are soon to be introduced to Martin, as in Martin Luther, our Metasoul brother, from the 1500’s. Then, we got a taste of King Arthur, from Camelot, another Metasoul brother, who I had some very sweet feeling exchange with earlier today. There’s also Animalea, my feminine counterpart, who just might steal the show altogether.

It did feel a bit strange feeling how up till now, we were an all male team, so I’m glad Animalea got invited. I will leave it to her to share when she’s ready to, while extending a very warm welcome toward her.

Not that long ago, I was reading Carl Jung, who felt that all men have an inner feminine part, that he called ‘The Anima’, and that all women have a masculine part, that he called ‘The Animus’. I no sooner read that, and Animalea burst on the scene. She’s a big part of the reason that Jelelle and I work out so well, in a number of ways. Quite uninhibited, is how I’d put it, in the moment.

So, we have all that to look forward to. I’m feeling as we go, how all of this is part of the opening and access to meet with the Demiurge. We find the Demiurge inside of each of us, with each part of us, some in alignment, others in opposition. We also encounter the Demiurge with each of our Metasoul Aspects having their own distinct relationship with the Demiurge.

This is a forming delegation to meet with the Demiurge. I haven’t used that word ‘delegation’ yet, but that word carries the energy of what I’m feeling. A delegation is a body of individuals who are authorized to represent a larger body. In our case, we are downloading an implicit authority that exists in the Multiverse, is how I’d say it, that we have sufficient self-worth to claim and embody that authorization.

The larger body, that we seek to represent is the human race, and even beyond that, to any and all other beings that have felt an unresolved relationship with the Demiurge.

For most of these people, there is probably an anger at the suppression they feel and have felt coming from the Demiurge. I’m already feeling that key to gaining access with the Demiurge will be a willingness to feel our side of the co-creative responsibility for the Demiurge’s existence. By that, I mean, feeling how each of us used the Demiurge as a scapegoat to hold our own divinity until such a time as we were willing to hold it for ourselves. Being saddled with holding everyone’s disowned divinity would eventually make anyone an asshole, in my opinion.

The suppression coming from the Demiurge however, is not Okay. That is a central message of this delegation, that we will not negotiate in any way or stand for any longer. On the other side of the coin, we cannot expect that us telling the Demiurge that he is the embodiment of evil, that he is separated from love, and that he stinks basically, is going to move or shift anything.

What I’m feeling in all this is how we have some more homework to do, to get ourselves ready to carry out this delegation, this ambassadorship. A key piece that I feel deeply in my bones is that there is only one source of All There Is and that is thee All. The Demiurge is not the source of All, but he is contained within the All. This is the same thing I feel about myself and everyone of us. Each of us are hopelessly and inescapably contained by love, no matter how much of the dark we seek or need to embody in our awakening journey. I feel this as the restoration of all back to love.

This is why I am able to rise above the fear of attacks or repercussions from the Demiurge, in undertaking this assignment. He is only one aspect of love’s reflection and duality. What I do feel a healthy fear of though, is the idea that we are going to cleanse the world of evil in some epic spiritual battle, a ‘we/they’ kind of separation. This is a battle, but the battle exists inside of each of us first, and only then, gets its license to play out externally.

Our interface with the Demiurge will be one from the inside for each of us personally who are willing to make that bridge real, and then for each of us, the war inside simply comes to an end. As more and more of us choose this, and walk this out, the delegation spreads to more and more sovereign individual souls, and eventually, the reign of the Demiurge naturally fades and loses ground as is already happening. This delegation is something that has been a long time in coming and has been coming. We are simply riding a wave prepared for us. Let’s acknowledge that we are surfing a wave of heart and passion and ache that wants to manifest.

Each person who wishes to make this their reality will have to walk this out internally, and then follow suit externally. Each person will have to come to terms with their own disowned divinity, that they pawned off at the Demiurge’s Five And Dime chain depots that our planet became known for. To do that, and as they do that, each person will become fluent with their own Internal Punisher, their own disembodied opposite gender aspect, their own unacknowledged Metasoul Aspects to fully realize their own freedom and Heaven On Earth reality. The Demiurge without is a manifestation of the Demiurge within.

Ok, wow, so I had some things to say, I see. Thank you for letting me go off.

Andy: I like the surfing part, Raphael.

Raphael: Yesss, we could so use a beach for today, maybe this afternoon, Andy. You can get the boards waxed and find us a cute instructor. If there’s one thing the Demiurge doesn’t know and longs to know is how to actually have fun. Keep that in mind while we are formulating our plan of how to approach him.

I felt so much relief in the last Journal entry sharing the big piece how I finally said a profound ‘No’ to a faith, a completed marriage bond, that had become a bind, and an entire social world built around that. As I shared that piece again, with all your sweet attention and love, there was some more to feel from the intensity of the birth canal passage that was, that I couldn’t feel all of at the time. In this way, we are ‘re-membered’ with each part of our selves, as we are ready to. These parts of us need and want to be felt as we revisit our stories.

I feel expanded out just writing these words, catching up with, yet again, a new reality of a deeper embodiment of my own divinity, my own infinite largesse of being that life and love and the universe and the multiverse is holding space for me to feel. That’s a pretty grand self image, I know, and I apologize for none of it. It’s the same image I see and hold for every one of us. We’re all as great as anyone can imagine, and then infinitely more. It has a whole lot to do with the Demiurge that we haven’t been able to see and feel that for ourselves. Our religions and spiritualities and institutions and the cults of our cultures all speak of an intense opposition to all of this greatness. We, are, however, moving out of the phase of our consciousness where less was enough, and are moving now into the realization of The All, the true infinite more that we are, that no false humility can any longer suppress.

Only the truly great, can embody true humility. Only the truly selfish can embody any kind of the selfless. Only those who are the first partakers of love can have any to spare.

Okay, wow, sometimes, Metatron, It feels like I’m channeling you, without giving you the credit…

Metatron: And, how perfect is that?! We are one, and we are only separate and distinct while we need to be. It’s the best of both worlds. And don’t think I don’t get my fair share with you mimicking me, I so do. I want to be like you, when I grow up.

Raphael: Cool! What else would you like to say, Metatron? Where are we on the unfolding journey to the Demiurge?

Metatron: We need to be aware that we do have the Demiurge’s ear. He is aware of this delegation and is feeling our approach. Each person reading and feeling this journal, present and future, is expanding this delegation. The Demiurge, like our Higher Selves, doesn’t exist in 3D time constraints of past, present and future. And there’s no hiding in these higher dimensions either.

Raphael: Wow, the parts of me conditioned to 3D, don’t get that all the way, but they’re working on it. Thank god though that I have parts of me conditioned to this layer of reality, or I wouldn’t have been able to have this entire learning journey in 3D this far, and now expanding beyond.

I feel this peaceful centered feeling right now, with a whole bunch of possible directions that we could go in today, going outwards like spokes on a wheel, and the peaceful feeling is too good to lose by getting worked up about anything, even as in choosing a direction today. I may need your help, or maybe you weren’t done yet, Metatron?

~ end of part 1 ~

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.

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