The Creative Force Of Death & Rebirth That We Actually Are

by Raphael Awen

When the old game gets boring and no one really wants to play it anymore, the game itself wants to die, but struggles to do so because people keep showing up trying ever harder to keep it alive.

The game itself is a living thing that takes on a consciousness of its own because of all of the consciousness that is invested into it. Money is maybe one of the starkest examples of this – a game created by us, as we mutually agree to a set of rules, and as we then try to abide by those rules, that game then takes on a life of its own and becomes a mediator of life. We speak in homage to money when we say things like ‘you can’t live without money’, when in fact money and physical life have no correlation other than the one we created for it in our perceptions of the importance of money, thus giving it god-like status.

The money game we currently play is built on mountains of debt that are so far beyond repayable, no one wants to talk about it, because to talk about it is to acknowledge and look at the ending of the game, the end of us. Games are toppling all around us. The social games we play of showing up for people we don’t actually like or no longer relate to life in any kind of shared values is another game that aches for its end, but struggles to find. The spiritual games of giving our power away to an outside of us authority in some form of a guru-devotee dance is another. The emotional games of trying ever harder to stay away from what we really feel is another. One crumbling game is intertwined with another.

Something wants to die and it’s call keeps getting louder and louder. Something within also wants deeply to live and thrive at the same time.

How do we relate with both?

When we accept that the time for denial is complete, we move through the stages of grief, to feeling our anger, our fear, our need, and eventually to acceptance and even thriving in a new reality.

Nature demonstrates this process of death and rebirth over and over again. When we feel how life can’t actually ‘die’, but can only change, we accept at a deep core level our own relationship to being life itself – in movement with death and rebirth.

The ‘infestation’ of the tiny Pine Beetle in North America’s forests in recent decades is a powerful example of this. It was and still is seen through a 3D lens as a blight, a scourge, a VIRUS that is killing our precious forests and economy. Many attempts to stop its advance were made and failed. Then came along some people who were willing to look at and feel the problem from a higher place of awareness. They learned that the Pine trees in North America were and are in a state of stress brought on by the warming climate. Then they learned and proved that the trees under stress actually emit a physical sound and they recorded it. Then they realized to their utter amazement that what the Pine Beetle actually was, was likened to an agent of an assisted suicide. The Pine trees pined for their own death. The Pine Beetle heeded their call in such astonishing numbers that seemingly came out of nowhere.

I believe this so speaks for what is going on for us collectively and individually. What once felt very sustainable and comforting no longer is. Parts of us want to die and exit. Other parts of us fear death. Other parts of us so want to thrive. Only as you are willing to feel each of these parts of you are you able to navigate a truly responsible life, by your response to what now undeniably is.

The Coronavirus, whether the virus itself or the scenarios created by our layers of reaction to it answered a call we didn’t even know we were making. Playing victim to the virus and the circumstances may be the phase many are necessarily in, as they need a bringer of death to life as they’ve known it, but can’t admit it. Others with awakening consciousness see and feel that the changes and deaths are what they and life itself called out for. We are in a funeral and a birth canal at the same time. Life as we’ve known it will not be the same in so many ways.

This is the creative force of death and rebirth that we actually are. This is our next phase of consciousness evolution lapping at our shores. Holding and feeling yourself in this transition is your service to others and is your highest calling.

You get to be in your highest calling now, even sustain your life through sharing your deepest gifts of life. Just when you couldn’t find the courage to quit your day job, life came along and killed it for you. Now you get to explore what you really want now! You get to have fun and you get to play! Your day job might return, it might not, but you will be in a new flow that you longed for more than you realized.

How did we ever think it was sustainable to exchange something less than our most passionate living and loving in exchange for money? We thought that because it seemed true enough for a long time, but that’s changing now – ‘dying’ now, as you and the parts of you that makeup ‘you’ are called to an emergency meeting to feel and explore a stark new emerging reality.

~

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

Feeling & Processing Current Events With The Inner Child

by Kalayna Solais

As I went into meditation this morning, members of my Star Family were right there waiting for me and for a very precious part of me, especially.

I’ve been closest with my Star Family aspects from Sirius over the last few years. I think in some ways this is because, well, they are feline and look like “lion-people” so that makes them easier to let in for my young parts especially, but also, they are among the groups that have been working the closest with humanity. You may especially feel them nearby, energizing love and support to you around “Lion’s Gate” every August 8th. They’re also accessible because they’ve been where we are now and they understand the Ascension process well from their own experience of it and of the sacred yet often ‘bliss-messy’ steps along the way.

My Sirian-Lyran (that’s a sort of ‘star being name’ I’ve been offered to call them as it encompasses their origins) aspect named Ineerah and her masculine counterpart named Ortho wanted to connect with me and with my Inner Child, Lilly. They have been feeling her and MANY Inner Children a lot lately with everything going on. The Inner Child seems to be THE seat of sensitivity and deep reactions to what is going on right now, alongside the deep soul rumbles that everyone is feeling as the ‘collapse’ happening around us in different ways is very reminiscent of other timelines our souls all know very well (which our Inner Children are also impacted by to some degree).

Ineerah and Ortho wanted to connect with Lilly and feel her in this heightened sensitivity to the world. She is (as they always seem to be) very empathic and even a deep layer of all of us who feel we are ‘healers’ in some way.

Just yesterday I felt deep tears with her about the ‘meanness’ of others, not just towards her, but towards each other. She doesn’t like the judgements everyone has of one another and the harshness too. She doesn’t like how intense parts of people can be about ‘rules’ and ‘health regulations’, especially while she feels all of this is about SO MUCH MORE than a ‘virus’. She hasn’t felt much about what’s happening/not happening in our world right now and is actually quite happy to hear that animals are returning to places like Venice and that China’s skies are clearing. She hopes for a better future, just like all of our Inner Children do. And in that, they need presence, especially OUR presence. And, they need a voice. But, their voice cannot be heard, let alone land, in a world that remains as chaotic and out-of-touch with the real heart of things and their own individual hearts too, as has been true up ’til now.

This is what my Sirian-Lyran Star Family told her this morning, in light of this,

“Lilly,  the world is going through what it needs to right now so that you and parts like you can come out and feel safer. You WILL feel free to love and let in love in new ways as has been very unimaginable sometimes beyond your soul family connections. We know how much you ache to love and to have it be as simple as that… adult relationships, as you’ve noticed, are so complicated sometimes, but in a world where you get to be you, in all of the magic that’s within you, you get to be part of the celebration of what’s coming. You and all other parts like you are a light at the end of a very long, dark tunnel! And there’s nothing you need to DO to BE this, you just simply ARE this.”

They’re emphasizing to me now to share that our Inner Children are not a ‘solution’, but they are a ‘result’. Meaning, they are not (though sometimes this happens) meant to be actively ‘used’ as a means to an end by other parts of us to ‘solve’ issues on this planet or in our relationships, pressing on and using their hurt and pain somehow instead of healing it, which can only happen if/when we scoop them up and hold them close as us, ourselves. Their ideal alignment is with love and deep soul and heart freedom and they are freed up by the work you do with other parts of you and within your soul healing as well. They are not the labour pains of birthing the new reality, yet they ARE a new reality, especially as their essence of innocence, empathy, and trust in the Divine get to be re-discovered and unearthed.

In all of the sensitivity arising in just about everyone right now, whether it’s showing up mostly as fear, or sadness, or even excitement about what’s possible after all of this is over, it feels important to remember that this sensitivity was always there, just buried in busyness, which is now falling away. The real feelings of the heart can no longer be medicated or hidden in the same ways now that the outer world has been ‘locked down’. This can lead each of us into many deep processes yet these feelings are all meant to bring us into our truest anchoring from within of the New Earth that is in the middle of birthing into our reality.

If you feel ready to try and be with or even meet your own sweet Inner Child, you can try this meditation from Jelelle Awen to help you get in touch with them: https://youtu.be/L_bpgyIuYds

And, as always, my beloveds Jelelle and Raphael are available for 1:1 sessions if you would like to receive some mega-hearted love and support at this time: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions ❤

Much love from my heart and parts, and Star Family too, to yours!

Kalayna ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart facilitant, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

 

Feeling What You REALLY Want And Need During These Turbulent Times

by Raphael Awen

When the rumble of the collective fear of death goes viral through the collective by the aid of a media-hyped and created event, we do well to feel each and every part of us that resonates with that rumble.

Trying instead to stay ‘high-vibe and positive’ invariably proves to be an exercise in denial and lying to oneself and others if we are not willing to be honest about the parts of us that actually are freaked out if they in fact are. You can’t stay high-vibe if you aren’t there already, and you can’t get to high-vibe if you’ve denied yourself a way to feel the parts of you who are low-vibe at the moment.

You were given a range of vibes for a divine creator reason and as a divine creator. That reason becomes very obscured and flattened when you are only permitting one polarity to live in you. What good is a piano with only the high notes?

What this Coronavirus actually is in terms of any real threat and in what scale is something that will only be known in hindsight. What is real is the fear that you feel that is kicked up by the story that is being spread far and wide. Our collective is so long overdue for a collective bowel movement and this one may well be one big dump, one that relieves so much. We’ve all had a hand in creating this need.

Because we are all one in a higher level of reality, we also do well to feel what this collective shift in consciousness is opportuning us to feel personally.

When I feel parts of myself, I feel aspects of me that want the future to be safe and bright and exciting and alive. I feel the parts of me that want purpose and engagement, as well as creature comforts. All of these goodies are threatened by the looming Coronavirus story – asking me to pare down my desires and settle for the story of the goal of survival. I feel the parts of me that aren’t yet assured of a bright and exciting future and wonder if we shouldn’t just settle for an outlook of mitigating disaster rather than full-on thrival.
Now grounded in what’s real in the inside, I get to actually process and create movement inside of myself from fear to love. I couldn’t actually get to the love were it not for the fear as my starting place.

And I also can’t get to the love I’m needing when I’m spending all my time staying up on the agenda of the Dark Illuminati/Cabal/Black Hats versus the Alliance/Q-anon picture of things as a way to distract myself from what’s really going on inside of me to me.

And when I don’t actually get to the love I’m needing and wanting, my vibe is invariably lower, I’m broadcasting that vibe as a reality generator to those around me before I utter a word or take an action. In other words, your and my greatest service to others begins and ends with the greatest service to self. ‘Selfishness’ isn’t a bad word at all in 5D.

Whoever gave us the ‘service to self’ versus ‘service to other’ dichotomy was still living in the reality that there is actually any separation between self and other. This is the old picture of separation of spirit and matter, the separation of good and evil, the battle for supremacy that is being found more and more to be the root of all conflict inside and outside. There isn’t actually a ‘whoever’ to blame here; we gave that picture to ourselves as a way to live our way to and through a movement of our reality.

We are this big, and our lessons are this epic! We get to do this and we get to do it as a collective and as individuals at the same time.

Allow what you really want, feel, and need, without denial, to guide you through these waters.

I’d be delighted to help you through your personal rumbles if what I’m sharing resonates for you. More here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Photo courtesy of https://unsplash.com/@renebbernal

~

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

Energy Update: Ripe Time For Awakenings, Deeper Connection With The Divine And Within

by Kalayna Solais

Yesterday, I paused to feel the panic moving through the collective, how it could easily echo something that needs me inside of me, yet doesn’t seem to at this time…. At least not in the same way as it seems to be for others.

It rippled and ripped around where I stood. It told me, asked me, to keep being as still as I can, to keep holding space for it, to keep being a beacon of love and surrender during a dark time.

Having been through dark times in this life and many others, I know I can do this. I can be the lighthouse on the dark and stormy waters, whether the ships can see me or not.

My soul knows the solace, the solitude, the loneliness too, of being a ‘healer’ in the midst of chaos. My soul also knows the beauty of the beaconing, the beckoning towards brighter shores of possibility and deeper connection within and with the Divine during such times as these when the death knoll (literal and figurative) sounds and there is an added poignancy and consciousness/awareness in our daily interactions and activities that we couldn’t get to otherwise.

My heart knows that this is all leading us to deeper connections to each other and ourselves as well as our beloved Gaia, as what is rebooting completes its reset cycle, bringing the collective into many different strands and strata of awakening.

All lenses are valid, all viewpoints need acknowledging. None are ‘wrong’ and none are absolutely ’right’, for this world is not now nor could ever be black and white.

I think the deepest gift we can offer ourselves if we choose to isolate, to pull back and out from ‘work’ or from ‘social’ as a precaution is to go inward and feel. The world is on a sort of ‘pause until further notice’ which is extremely rare. This is an opportunity to see what’s been brewing and moving on the inside of each of us. Where is the stagnancy and stubbornness toward love and surrender? Where is there a poignant fear of death or loss or both? These are existential questions, I know. Not everyone will be able to ask themselves or parts of themselves these just yet, but the invitation is there as always. And, as always, the Divine is here holding us all in whatever explorations we’re having inside and out and in whatever it is we are discovering about ourselves and our worlds, both inner and outer.

We are being invited to see our capacity to create the life we actually DO want and how this all comes from inside of each of us… from these places of panic and worry that are rooted far deeper than simply just being what ‘is’ and therefore accepted as only what ‘is’. There is SO much that needs our LOVE in these places. There are so many parts feeling their beloved 3D world being shaken up and so many Metasoul aspects in other lifetimes feeling a recapitulation of what they’re going through as well. Indeed, there are MANY layers all happening at once, so the need to pull it all back inward and make space for feeling it all is very, very real.

In all of this… there is nothing to ‘vanquish’ but there is a lot to be with and love UP.

It’s from this inward place that it can all change for the better, starting with the chaotic INNER world, the one that tends to get brushed aside or buried far too often.

Much love to you all and everything inside of you that may be in deep reaction at this time….

Kalayna ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart facilitant, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

The Process Of Healing ‘Sisterhood’ Inside and Out

by Kalayna Solais

Letting in REAL sisterhood… the kind where you aren’t calling each other ‘sister’ because of blood or because somehow spirituality has told you that you ‘should’ in order to honour oneness and acknowledge, even just on the surface, our equality.

Real sisterhood is about calling each other ‘sister’ from the depths of our healing hearts as women. It becomes a declaration of love coming from the sisterhood inside, healing between parts within us who have been against each other for different reasons, and making space for this same frequency and depth of healing to happen between souls we are connected to on the outside.

This is new. This isn’t a process for which the depths of it have really been acknowledged. It’s challenging to look at how deep and often unconscious the competitiveness, comparison, and fear of each other lives and breathes within each of us as women. Simply starting to call each other ‘sister’ only reaches so deep. It so easily becomes a label without a heartbeat and without genuine care about each other.

To care about each other as sisters in soul and heart requires an awful lot of letting ourselves in, of feeling how and why it’s been hard to have deep intimacy with other women both in this life and in other lifetimes too and the karmic binds alive in them. It’s easy enough to let parts of us claim that this is a result of our conditioning and the messages in the media alone… yet, when we bring this inward, we can feel how yes, the outside influences have been there for a very long time, yet where the looping of this conditioning can finally close and heal is on the inside and this is where those lifetimes of persecution and pain can finally heal too.

Since the latest women’s call last weekend and for a few weeks beforehand, I’ve been letting in resonant relationships with other young women around my age who are doing the same SoulFullHeart process work that I’ve been doing for years now. We are taking the space to connect together, sometimes for several hours at a time over video call since we don’t live in the same country at the moment and can’t connect in person. We update each other on our personal processes and feel them together while we also clear anything that needs to be felt and cleared between us, feeling our hearts in the space and the desire to become closer. We feel our soul resonance and soul sisterhood on a deep level wanting to become more of a felt reality between us. This is not something I’ve experienced very often, especially with women my age, and that’s been so painful that parts of me in the past have shut down the desire for it altogether.

This is all an expansion of what I’ve experienced moving in me for years now with Raianna and Jelelle as part of this process too… but to be experiencing this with young women in my actual ‘peer’ group is a whole other thing, not surprisingly!

There are moments of caution that arise in these connections. On my side, I feel where this comes from is how often parts of me have felt ignored or unwanted by other women. The social pain of this continues to be flushed out, as even this morning I felt with a part of me that I’m calling my ‘Inner Sister’, how foreign it feels to really be ‘seen’ in my gifts by women my age and to SEE them in theirs too without feeling jealousy or defensiveness first. There are concerns for this part of me that we are/she is the ‘problem’, always, in every connection that goes sideways or when painful reflections are sometimes offered about how we’ve impacted others when connecting with them. Feeling shame takes over for feeling compassion for where the other person is coming from. This is all so much about intimacy though, and having a deep and real connection with other women needs to just feel strange and foreign and unknown until it becomes the new normal to be in these sort of ‘catalytic’ (not ‘catty’) relationships that get to expand the healing and growth on both sides. And, ultimately, the feelings of shame and being ‘the problem’ live inside of me between parts of me and this is the only place where these reactions and projections can fully heal.

We truly cannot place expectations on other women around us to become ‘sisters’ in a deep way without acknowledging the work that needs to be done within and between each other. This process though is so worth every moment of tension and expansion, because it IS what seeds the ‘reLOVEution’ we’ve been wanting to experience in how we relate to and treat one another, especially as feminine energies who are all here to be in our bigger soul purpose work and Divine Feminine LOVE ambassadorship!

Much love,

Kalayna

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart facilitant, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

SoulFullHeart Museletter: Message From The Magdalenes

It’s the latest release of our Museletter! Offering ALL of our most recent writings, videos, events, healing offerings, and audio blogs. Our Museletter is now released every other Monday. Go read it here!

Go here to subscribe to receive these in your email inbox!

Jelelle Awen has been downloading the beautiful frequencies and INvitational messages from The Magdalenes quite a lot recently! Featured in this issue is a writing from her where she shares the messages of belonging, of rediscovering yourself and your deeper soul purpose, and of reuniting with conscious soul family:

“You have chosen to incarnate into this timeline for an important reason. Now is the time to water, tend, and harvest the seeds of a 5D Golden Earth that we planted in the Yeshua/Magdalene lifetime. There is much support for you to move into your purpose around this. Align with this support, let go of that which distracts and invalidates you…. and your higher timeline will come to you from the Divine. Choose this higher timeline and it will choose you!”

Raphael and Jelelle will be co-leading their next monthly group transmission over Zoom on Saturday, March 7th PST. The focus of this group is to share about the Yeshua-Magdalene consciousness and help you feel YOUR place and role within it, both in other lifetimes and in the Now. More information here to join them or receive the recording: https://www.facebook.com/events/183471066213945/

For more information on all of our events, visit: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/events

The journey led by Jelelle through her ongoing ‘Deepen’ video series, happening throughout this year as each video arises, takes us this time into the process of letting in our own individual ‘Light Body Activations’. She talks about the light body activation process going on as we move from our dense, carbon-based 3D body to much higher frequencies of light being able to be embodied. Watch the video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_nbhQJ9uSw&feature=youtu.be

We have a few NEW writings and audio blogs this week, including a couple from a SoulFullHeart Facilitant, Deva Yasmin, who shares about her ongoing process within and in Sacred Union with her beloved mate. Jelelle Awen, Raphael Awen, and Kalayna Solais also share pieces about personal processes, energy updates, and other digestions.

Raphael, a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for men and women, is now offering FREE 30-45 minute intro calls over Zoom to see how the SFH process and ongoing 1:1 sessions may support you on your healing and Ascension journey. Jelelle Awen works with women only, also in 1:1 bridging sessions. More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Way of Life!

You can become a patron of SoulFullHeart through a one-time or monthly donation via our patreon page.

Check out the latest Museletter here

The Ongoing Journey Of Serving Love

by Kalayna Solais

Service is a journey, not a destination…

When I first started awakening and paying close attention to different spiritual teachers, authors, etc, parts of me took this whole world of being a ‘leader’ in personal development, healing, etc as a place of arrival; as somewhere you land, someday, and never leave and are never really asked to leave. I didn’t know back then about the dis-integrity that often comes with these high-up places and ‘roles’ that are often not heart-inhabited or emotionally awakened though the soul may be quite ‘attained’ in many ways.

Parts of me wanted to be one of them… wanted the accolades, the spotlight, the sense of ‘arrival’ and ultimately having ‘healed’ so much. Really though, it was the feeling sense of living your truest soul purpose day-in and day-out, fully aligned with who you came here to BE and what you came here to offer others that was the shiniest asset for me.
Yet… it wasn’t exactly real.

At least not in the ways that I was thinking it was at the time.
There’s a sheen and a glamour that is starting to fade and tarnish now. There are still those who are worshipped yet the abuses they are part of toward others and ultimately themselves is starting to show through the shiny fabric. The ‘Wizard of Oz’ can no longer hide in this process of Ascension.

Even the most highly praised leaders are starting to realize that their sense of service of others, to whatever degree it’s been genuine for them, is in fact an ongoing journey and not an ultimate destination where you no longer need to grow, to look at yourself, to realize what has been hiding in the shadows of your heart and soul that now need to purge out and be seen and felt, loved and humbled.

The desire that has always been with me to get to some ‘place’ where I can serve love more directly with individuals and groups still lives in me to some degree and every day I feel it. I see it show up in others too, even many young men and women are much younger than me, who have parts of them that feel the need to aim for this ‘destination’ place, often as a way (and it was this for me too, once upon a time) to leap-frog over the necessary life experiences and deeper healing processes that come first and foremost in order to be fully embodied and feel the humility (and humanity too) that comes with being of deep service; an alignment with yourself, your soul, your own ongoing healing process that overflows to others with deep integrity and honesty.

I’ve learned over and over again to not rush myself to ‘get somewhere’ I may not be for a while. Supporting those around me that are in a flow of service feels right to my heart for now. I don’t feel that in this I am shrinking at all from my bigness, but that I’m being given space and an invitation to explore my own process deeper, trusting that all of the inward time opens out as needed into some expression of service that can only expand as my soul does.

Maybe, then, we can say that there IS an ‘arrival gate’ when it comes to service-of-love flow and one that you simply ‘know’ you’ve arrived at when you have, yet that it’s only another leg of your very individual journey of YOUR ever-deepening healing and growth process, meant to shift every ground within and outside of you, in all areas of your life and with all parts of you/aspects of your soul.

Much love to YOU on YOUR journey of ‘arriving’ where you are right now… into the invitation to just keep feeling yourself, trusting that this is what truly takes you, with the most integrity possible, into your next phase of ‘service’ to self and others. ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart facilitant, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Heart-warm Closure With The Men Of My ‘Past’

by Kalayna Solais

Last night before going to sleep, some really sweet energies moved through my heart space that I so wasn’t expecting, but I welcomed it all fully. I felt invited to think about the men I’ve been with or ‘almost’ been with in romantic relationships. The ones who parts of me felt rejected by for some reason, the ones who kept me in the “friend zone”. The ones I made love with or talked about making love with. The ones I wanted to marry. The one I did. The ones I “friend-zoned” and sometimes felt confused about. The handsome ones… well, they were all handsome, let’s be honest. And I loved all of them.

In all of this I felt how much I STILL love them. And a genuine appreciation for them, and whatever relationship we had or didn’t have. I learned a lot from each of them. And somehow, up until last night, parts of me and Metasoul aspects in other lifetimes too, felt primarily rejected or cast aside or ignored… or simply unworthy, not good enough, and made it seem to themselves like these patterns of “not ever” being with a deeply passionate man who can truly meet me in all ways, “stay in the room” with me, explore his King’s leading and trailing edges while I explore my Queen’s, would last forever.

There’s no romantic companion in my field at the moment. No prospects or crushes beyond the etheric ‘mate’ I can sometimes see and feel. Yet, I felt guided to keep feeling this through. And for the first time, I could see not only the gift of each of these connections I’ve had, but the gift of ME that’s come out of each of them and the ways in which they were each able to adore and love me, no matter how complicated it was or wasn’t between us on a romantic or even just a friendship level. My own Inner Masculine took notes throughout all of these connections, I’ve realized, and decided from each of them what he would take with him and what he would help me say “no” to in the future, even within him, himself, in my relationship to him as an Inner Father, Protector, and Mate too.

My personal process is so deep for me that no matter what happens in my life, I “mine” it for the golden nuggets, the exquisite diamonds, of personal growth and healing on a heart and soul level. I have looked deep into the mirrors of all of these relationships with still more layers emerging, and I’ve been willing to let that show me what the truth of ME has been throughout it all; which parts of me were hiding or activated and where/why, which Metasoul aspects were feeling the pain and the sting (and also the joy and lust) in their own timelines.

All of this exploration has been rich beyond measure and I’m still reaping the rewards of these inward journeys. It’s because of this work that I’m able to, for the very first time, HONESTLY say “I am GRATEFUL for it all… for every cut, every bruise… every loving touch, every hug and kiss… every unconscious choice and every conscious one too.” If any of these men are reading this (many of them probably won’t because I’m not connected to them anymore… but I know their Higher Selves are listening and feeling this) I want them to know how much I can feel the adoration I and parts of me have always had for them on many levels, even with the impact we had on each other and the fear-based choices that sometimes overtook the love-based ones. We’ve helped shape each other into the people we are now and I know in my soul that I needed every single one of you.

Maybe now we can move even more fully into whatever is next for all of us.

Much love to you as these Valentine’s Day energies bring out whatever you may need or want to feel through in your own romantic life or even just with regard to the Sacred Union within…

Kalayna

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart facilitant, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

SoulFullHeart Museletter: Meeting Your Inner Orphan

It’s the latest release of our Museletter! Offering ALL of our writings, videos, events, healing offerings, and audio blogs for the last two weeks. Go read it here!

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Meeting your ‘Inner Orphan’ part of you is a sacred process that has been coming up for many souls lately. In this issue’s featured article, SoulFullHeart Teacher/Facilitator, Raphael Awen, shares open-heartedly about his own experience with this process and how it opened out for him:

“I simply tuned in Yeshua as a beloved guide, and dialed in a Golden Earth setting, and there in the magical outdoors, was Yeshua crouched down about 8 or 10 feet away, holding upright a (soon to be) eager toddler, who he then let go, as this beautiful baby focused his gaze on me and began to take his first steps crossing the space between us. Midway across, the name Bartholomew came as plain as day. I received him into my arms, and he readily received me. I intuitively knew that this Bartholomew would change my life, that holding him would require all the rigors of true parenthood and presence of being that this Orphan would need to transmute the pain in his heart, allowing both him and I to shift our destiny and to embody what we intended when we set out on our journey of ‘leaving’ the Divine.”

There are quite a few NEW energy updates from these last two weeks from Jelelle Awen, including an audio blog sharing one of them, some personal process sharings from Kalayna Solais, and a deeper invitation into your own inner process of feeling from Raphael Awen.

Jelelle Awen continues her video series “Deepen 2020”. This series will be offered on an arising basis, rather than every day for a set period of time, and will be responsive to current events/cosmic energies/personal & collective process, etc. Every Deepen 2020 video will offer a teaching and a guided meditation. You can watch these on her Facebook page or our YouTube channel.

You can watch all podcast episodes on the SoulFullHeart Experience YouTube Channel or listen to the audio on the SoulFullHeart Soundcloud channel or iTunes channel.

Jelelle will be hosting the next virtual women’s group call over Zoom on Sunday, February 23rd, at 10am PST. The focus of this group will be on feeling and processing the sacred sisterhood wound. Women may feel a deep longing and familiarity in their soul around the goodness of connecting in bonds with soul and even birth sisters. Even with this longing, there is also the experience of these connections often resulting in competition/envy, not being seen/felt/appreciating and just overall sense of relational challenge to show up for them.

For more information on this and other upcoming events, visit: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/events

Raphael, a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for men and women, is now offering FREE 30-45 minute intro calls over Zoom to see how the SFH process and ongoing 1:1 sessions may support you on your healing and Ascension journey. Jelelle Awen is now working with women new to the SoulFullHeart process in 1:1 bridging sessions. More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Way of Life!

You can become a patron of SoulFullHeart through a one-time or monthly donation via our patreon page.

Check out the latest Museletter here

Meeting Your Inner Orphan

Photo courtesy of https://unsplash.com/@benwhitephotography

By Raphael Awen

What we relate to as suffering, the Divine is passionately interested in. Divinity knew bliss, but had no sense of challenge or difficulty; and thus, no movement.

We feel something as deeply moving because that something flows in between the familiar tension we hold in our being of bliss and it’s loss.

We are the Divine out experiencing movement, growth, challenge and difficulty, all of which the Divine couldn’t know or feel were it not for its choice and our souls agreement to individuate itself into many gods – you and I.

Yes, you and I are saddled with godhood. And this explains our base tones of anxiety and fear. We knew and hold in our being remembrance of there being no separation, no veil of forgetting, no sense of any paradise lost.

This past week, I had a very moving encounter where I felt that it was time for me to formally meet my Inner Orphan Self – this core aspect of my soul who holds all of these tensions; this core aspect of my soul, out of which is born in this life, the Inner Child and Inner Teenager – both of whom are shaped and formed from the Inner Orphan soul aspect.

I simply tuned in Yeshua as a beloved guide, and dialed in a Golden Earth setting, and there in the magical outdoors, was Yeshua crouched down about 8 or 10 feet away, holding upright a (soon to be) eager toddler, who he then let go, as this beautiful baby focused his gaze on me and began to take his first steps crossing the space between us. Midway across, the name Bartholomew came as plain as day. I received him into my arms, and he readily received me. I intuitively knew that this Bartholomew would change my life, that holding him would require all the rigors of true parenthood and presence of being that this Orphan would need to transmute the pain in his heart, allowing both him and I to shift our destiny and to embody what we intended when we set out on our journey of ‘leaving’ the Divine.

This ache of loss held in the Inner Orphan soul aspect is the juice and the portal back to full embodiment, full familiarity, full familial fidelity. We long to return to soar in the heavens and so the Divine gives us the role of parent, re-parenting our own soul aspects as the very portal back to that which we lost only in experience, reassuring us that we never lost the actual possession or birthright of our full godhood.

In the days that followed this experience, I have surely felt a conscious vulnerability and arising of base fears and anxieties, along with deep tears – feeling so small. I have also felt a ‘me’ there who could handle and show up for all of it, as well as the Divine’s confidence in me and gratitude to me for my desire and willingness – that even now as I write these words, I feel a welling up of this support and energy.

I offer support and space holding and process within session space as a SoulFullHeart facilitator to others who wish to undertake such a journey, but it isn’t from any expert place of one who has ‘healed’ their anxiety and thus who has transcended their anxiety, or their depression, or their fear, but rather as one who has welcomed their fear, anxiety and depression. Quite the opposite, at many times, embracing this portal into pain has left parts of me seriously wondering if I hadn’t bit off more than I could chew. I can tell you that time and time again, I continue to come out the other side into newfound joy and range of being – what I see and feel as real transmutation of my being. This in turn only appetizes me for more and makes any ‘attainment’ look and feel like kindergarten all over again as I feel like a bigger beginner every time some ground or embodiment is gained.

Isn’t that what is really to be expected in an infinite love reality? Any and all progress measurement is swallowed up by love’s infinity. You get to be in infinite love if you’re willing to give up your stamp of certification of being anything other than part of this infinity. Certificates only look good on really boring office walls anyway. I’d so much rather know and feel real adventure out in the forest, the city and Golden Earth, with Yeshua, the Divine Mother, and The Divine Father.

Look for me and Bartholomew out and about feeling love and life anew in many ways for the first time. His name meaning is ‘Son of the Ploughman’ which so surprised me as I felt the plough as that which opens and prepares the earth to receive seed – it is through our wounding that the divine seed enters – ensuring that we will never lose our way – even through the deepest loss imaginable. We are ensured that all consciousness is finding its way back to all that it ever was and even being expanded out to more in the process.

That kind of starts to explain the hell you’ve journeyed through, or quite possibly feel like you are journeying through right now, yes? Doesn’t this speak also to the part of you who is more set on only ‘moving forward’ who doesn’t want to cry over spilt milk, who doesn’t want to get lost again in the world of feeling? This part of you will also need your showing up to negotiate the exploration and true healing journey your soul came here to undertake.

My truth is that we all individuated out of the Divine and came here to feel it all, even to get lost in it, so that we could be found by love, and in so doing, be truly of the greatest service to all of love and life.

Thank you for feeling me and for feeling yourself. 🙂💚😇

Much love,
Raphael Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.Com/sessions

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our Patreon Page to send us love in the form of money: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart 🙂