Healing Perfectionism With Divine Love

By Raianna Shai

Perfectionism is expressed by many different parts of us, in varied ways and for so many reasons. I’m sure many of us can relate to the constant need to control the outcome or appearance of everything we do. The fear of doing something wrong or being judged for it is running in the background of our minds even in everyday, simple tasks. We often feel tension and anxiety when something unfolds in a way we did not expect or control. Maybe it comes up when you have reactions you don’t want to have, or there’s conflict you wanted to avoid, or you chose to do something that you realize others would judge.

Perfectionism is often used as a way to protect the most precious and vulnerable parts of us which has been so needed in certain phases of our lives. Overtime it becomes so ingrained in us from messaging by society, matrix coding from as far back as birth, personal desire to appear a certain way, and to avoid judgement and loss. But it gets to a certain point where it prevents those vulnerable parts from growing into their bigness and recognizing that they don’t need that protection to the same degree anymore.

Perfectionism for myself has been so strong my entire life. I strived to be a perfect student, perfect friend, perfect girlfriend, perfect daughter, perfect community member. And slowly but surely I’ve come to unwind this ingrained desire to avoid any and all judgement and conflict. Much of this has been rooted in the idea that I’m not good enough and that I’ll lose everything I love so much. The moment we separated from the Divine, we were given an underlying feeling of guttural and tragic loss of our home frequency of love and connection. So much unworthiness stems from that loss and everyday we try to prove we are good enough to the divine in some way, shape or form.

Freedom can be found in the moments when all parts of us are nourished and aligned: heart, body, mind, soul and spirit. When we allow ourselves to let in true divine love, we are then able to realize that we can truly do no wrong from the perspective of the Divine. This is really the only place we can find unconditional love and acceptance. When we let go of expectation, obligation and self consciousness – we find liberation.

Freedom for me was felt in the picture I’ve attached to this post. That week I felt the words from the Divine rumble through me when she said “You are my everything”. The energy and truth of these words started to unlock this strong hold parts of me had on the idea of not being good enough. We truly are everything to her – everyone of us and in every way. In the moment of this picture I stepped away from something that was bringing me tension and took in beautiful nature and sunset codes with my beloved Kasha and every part of me felt nourished and aligned.

Freedom is found when we take the time to remind every part of ourselves, even the ones that are hard to love, that they always have been and always will be good enough. Even when there’s room to grow, even when there are regrets, even when the future is unknown – they are good enough and more. And the more we see this bigness in ourselves, the more we can see and feel it in others. And from there, the love spreads like wildfire.

Love,
Raianna Shai

~~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and website designer of the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.

A Love Story: Part Four (Enter At Your Own Risk)

By Raianna Shai

I finally made it to part four of my love story series! This is a full on post instead of a poem, so I’ll keep this preface short and sweet.

I had a moment last year while trying to rediscover myself and my purpose when I realized that the part of me that I’ve judged and kept protected is actually one of my greatest gifts. I’ve been so held back by fear of my own emotions and what other people may think of me that it’s been so hard to let myself just be honest and real.

Even when I would share my feelings in a relationship, I would try to soften it to not make it sound “too much” or “too unfair”. But I’m finally reaching the point of realizing that risking judgement and blowing up a relationship is worth it when your truth could actually bring you and the other person into something new and meaningful. Yes, truth can hurt and harm others – but so can holding it back. At least the former allows you both the opportunity to show up and grow into new ground.

———————————————————————

A Love Story: Part Four
Enter At Your Own Risk

So much of our lives are spent worrying and fearing what might happen. We close ourselves off knowing we could potentially be hurt if we don’t. We don’t tell people how we feel, we don’t open up our hearts to one another, we don’t commit to something that means a lot to us, we sabotage ourselves in the name of safety, comfort and preservation.

But when I think of all those beautiful moments in life that we’re constantly searching for – have we ever gotten there without risk? Have you ever fallen in love without being vulnerable? Or felt a deep sense of connection with someone without the risk of being rejected or judged? Has there ever been a moment of true and real emotion that hasn’t come with an underlying fear of abandonment?

We try so hard to avoid the mess – the heartbreak, the judgement from others, criticism – but with that, we avoid the bliss.

Something I’ve realized about myself over the last few months is that I am incredibly sensitive and emotional and for maybe the first moment in my life I 100% love that part of me. I’ve spent so long worrying that I would be seen as too much, as pushing people in my life to be someone they’re not in order to match me, as being overly sensitive and insecure. Insecurity can come with sensitivity but so can strength.

When I let myself be me, I have the strength to sit with someone and pour my heart out to them. I have the strength to feel my feelings on full blast without having a wall up to protect myself from others. I have the strength to love with such depth that I genuinely worry I’ll get lost in it.

And sometimes I do. Sometimes I forget how beautiful my heart is and how much it deserves to be loved back just as powerfully. I just want to be seen and felt in all my glory.

Love,
Raianna Shai

~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and website designer for SoulFullHeart Healing, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about free consultations and 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

A Digestion Of The Deepen 2022 Video Series

By Raianna Shai

This SoulFullHeart video series is such an incredible way to get to know yourself to an incredible deep level. They’re full of teachings and meditations that are so valuable for discovering who you are, why you feel and react the way you do, what your gifts are and how to heal even your deepest wounds. I’ve been doing this series for the last two weeks or so and even the more “basic” videos have been so enlivening and core to my current healing process.

There’s something special about connecting to 31 different videos that slowly but thoroughly help you dive into any and all places that need your attention. They can be taken in at any pace and at any time which allows you to go deeper into any process that feels relevant.

I have been on a deep journey of discovering my divine empowered woman and these videos have brought so many connections to light inside of me. They have taught me how much my inner mother wants to care take everyone to the point where it doesn’t allow others, or other parts of me, to live into their bigness and grow into the person they’re capable of. They have taught me that my inner teenager is ready to blossom and become a woman capable of setting boundaries and advocating for herself and the capacity of others.

They have woken up my inner protector enough for him to realize that he can’t keep me small and locked in my bedroom anymore. This journey has strengthened belief in myself and what I have to gift others. I have been able to dive into my shadow in a way that I was way to scared to before and recognize patterns that have been so detrimental to my own growth as well as those around me, even if for a good reason.

So thank you Jelelle, Raphael and soon Kasha and Gabriel for providing me with the tools I need to love and care for myself in a way that serves both myself and the collective ❤️

For more information about the Deepen 2022 series including a full listing of the content covered over 31 days, a playlist featuring each video released so far, and information about the two Deepen 2022 group calls, visit http://www.soulfullheart.org/deepen2022

Love, Raianna

~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and website designer for SoulFullHeart Healing, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about free consultations and 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

A Love Story: Part Three (In The Midst Of Love)

By Raianna Shai

The following writing is one very close to my heart. These are actually lyrics to a song I wrote in that phase of a relationship when it’s been long enough that you know each other inside and out. Your friendship is formed and the romance is alive. I’m not exactly a lyrical genius but it came from my heart and I don’t often write songs!

A relationship based on mutual growth and healing requires a sharing of the innermost tender and vulnerable parts of you. You begin to understand when and why walls come up or what triggers stress and anxiety in them. You notice the little things that you love about them and what makes their heart truly glow. The bond deepens from physical infatuation to deep and growing trust and respect.

This is the time when comfort begins to sink in. You no longer have to work hard to try and win them over, you don’t feel so self conscious about yourself or your habits, you feel a sense of calm and hope that your feelings for them can last. This is the phase that we long for! The fire still burns yet you feel at home within the bond.

We work hard inside and out to get to this place but ultimately, getting here is the easy part. The next part is trickier. Retaining your mutual growth, passion, respect and love for each other is the truly difficult part. Choosing everyday to understand yourself so that you can continue to be vulnerable, honest and real together. I’ll talk more about this on my next post 💞

———————————————————————

A Love Story: Part Three
In The Midst Of Love

You make me and my
Whole heart smile when you
Look at me that way

You make me wanna be a
Better person, each and
Every single day

I know that It’s not
Easy being here
But I’m glad that you are

I wanna make you
Happy dear because you
Shine just like the stars

~ Chorus ~
I’ll hold your inner child’s hand
As we run under the moon
I’ll soothe your guard’s worried looks
And soon he’ll make me swoon

Your punisher is next
And him I’ll love the most
Your feminine will help me show
How our hearts can be so close

~~~

The moment you feel
Lost and lonely know that
You are not alone

Even when the
Earth starts shakin look
Inside to find you’ve grown

I know that it’s not
Easy being here
But it’s worth a try

I wanna make me
Happy dear because our
Love can reach the sky

~ Chorus ~

And when we start to touch the soul
Our bond will deepen evermore
My dream is to get close to you
Be intimate and break right through

~ Chorus ~

Love,
Raianna Shai

~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and website designer for SoulFullHeart Healing, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about free consultations and 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

A Love Story: Part Two (Falling In Love)

By Raianna Shai

The next part of this story is the part that we tend to spend our lives looking for: falling in love. The new and exciting rush of meeting someone that has an equal interest in us as we do in them. A new pair of eyes to see you, new ears to hear your passions and desires, new hands to touch the lonely and unloved parts of you inside and out. It sparks a hope in us that nothing like love can. We hope that this person will be the one we can grow with, who will understand us and treat us the way we’ve always dreamed of being treated.

More importantly than this outside love is what it sparks inside of us. It can allow us to love ourselves more than ever before while also bringing up our deepest insecurities. We begin by showing the brightest and shiniest parts of ourselves, hoping that will win them over. The way we enter a relationship is so telling of where we are at on the inside.

I remember the moment I wrote this poem, sitting under a tree staring out at the water. I felt elated and overcome by pure hope and love. I looked up at the leaves and they looked brighter than usual, almost as if they were glowing. In that moment I remembered feeling this way before. And then I remembered it fading and eventually leaving me completely. But it didn’t matter. Feeling it again reminded me of why we continue to search for this feeling over and over again even when it leads to pain or heartbreak.

This feeling is a reminder of what we are capable of feeling, with or without another person. All someone else can do is illuminate what’s possible in our own hearts and souls. Each relationship gets us closer and closer to this feeling of ecstasy and love inside of ourselves and without another person. We can feel this way with the divine, with our own inner parts, with our inner sacred union.

Without heartbreak, shadow and pain we cannot understand what it truly feels like to be in love and peace from the inside out. 💛

———————————————————————

A Love Story: Part Two
Falling In Love

This feeling of falling in love
With you and
With every part of me
Is like coming home

This is what my soul knows
What it’s been waiting to come back to
To feeling nourished
To feeling loved from the inside out
To loving the outside in

I see your face and smile
And even if it doesn’t work out
This feeling right here, right now
Is worth it all
This is what it’s all about

Freezing this moment and remembering
This is what we work so hard to get back to
This is why we dive deep
This is why we feel our shadow

Love,
Raianna Shai
SoulFullHeart Way Of Life

~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and website designer for SoulFullHeart Healing, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about free consultations and 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

A Love Story: Part One (Heartbreak & Healing)

By Raianna Shai

I woke up this morning with the urge to create through writing but couldn’t quite figure out what I wanted to write about. I started scrolling through the notes in my phone and found several writings I wrote over the past two years that really brought me back to the moment and phase they were written. Interestingly, I found 6 pieces that seemed to represent a cycle from beginning to end and back to the beginning again.

This cycle in particular represented the phase of the ending of a relationship, to the beginning of a new one, to the end once again. It felt like a really beautiful arc of letting in and letting go and everything that goes on in between. I felt myself recognizing the patterns of relationships and realizing that even when things come to an end, they are so worth the journey in and out.

This isn’t just true for romantic relationships but for careers, geographical moves, finding your soul purpose, healing a trauma and moving into your next phase of growth. As humans, we continually go through cycles in every part of our lives and the only thing we can do is become conscious of them. After a death of a phase you may wonder, what’s the point? But looking back you may notice how much has changed from beginning to end.

Falling in love is beautiful, messy, painful, exhilarating and everything in between but just like any other death and rebirth, it’s so important in facilitating our growth. Each layer brings new realizations and understanding of what it means to find love and purpose in these human and divine lives of ours. We cannot exist without cycles, for without them we cannot understand the gift of being human.

To show what I mean I thought I would share these 6 writings as a marker of each layer that these cycles can illuminate and provide. Particularly in the context of relationships. The first one I felt to share is both the ending of one relationship and the beginning of another. Marking the phase of overlapping death and rebirth ❤️

———————————————————————

A Love Story: Part One
Heartbreak & Healing

I sit here
Gathering the pieces of my heart
Trying to glue them back together
The mismatched edges
And sharp corners
Almost fitting perfectly
And then not at all

You wait there
Patiently watching my broken pieces
That long for that perfect edge’s embrace
Slowly come together
All the while knowing
That one day I will come

I will come with just enough pieces
To hold together the contents of my love
When I am still chipped, but no longer broken

You are there
With your chipped pieces
Already glued together
With as much accuracy as truth can allow

And we come together
Look at that!
Our broken pieces create a mosaic of lost loves and tearful goodbyes
Not perfect, but beautiful all the same

Love,
Raianna Shai
SoulFullHeart Way Of Life

~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and website designer for SoulFullHeart Healing, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about free consultations and 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Our Soul-Self Ascension

by Kasha Rokshana

We are arising.

From the ashes of the unknown
while we cry out
in sometimes hysterical
…yet critical
meltdowns
shedding what is now old
to embrace what is new…

We are in constant
movement
into, through
and out of
phases and claims
that we need for a time
but not forever.

We will always know
without knowing
without even being fully conscious
or aware
that our soul is edging
toward another new horizon.

Oh, beloved…
I am at the feet of my newest
most sparkling self.
I am bringing my new legs
to stand again
against the warmth
of your ascending
and ever encouraging
sun.

My personal power
lays out in the grass
of the freshly lain
frontier
of a new level of Me
of growth
of a renewed connection
to You…

Oh, great gems of sapphire
crystalline gold
heart-shaped All
in this moment
I summon
all of the strength
I know
I have healed to have
to continue the motion
of my forwarding press
into the brand new
epic
wilderness
of an ever-evolving
self.

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Remembering The Soft Feminine

by Kasha Rokshana

As soon as my feet are bare, my dancer comes out.

And they were bare on this day, in this place, because of stepping into a healing pool of precious waters. The sensations of which returned to me even more soul memories to integrate into my heart. And so the dancer energy coming forward reminded me of a gentle femininity that lives deep inside, that invites instead of tugs. That dances for herself in self-love first of all and can pull others in to join her when it’s time, when they’re ready, when she feels ready to embrace that sort of partnership, mateship, friendship that requires vulnerability in exchange with another.

Avalon’s legacies are sometimes used to bypass… to exit instead of enter. These feminine energies are misread, misused, taken over.

When you choose to enter Her sacred womb, Her healing waters, the embrace of Her sacred trees, you find yourself feeling more than ever before as your own femininity arises into deeper healing possibilities. This can feel scary and unknown in moments. Yet held in Her embrace you are, always…

Incredible journey. 🦋

This sense of the deep feminine is one that all are invited to feel into inside of themselves… all that it powerfully pushes up to feel and be with is important. When the need for ferocity alone is complete, you’ll feel the balm arise from within. To me, this is what makes the shadows worth visiting and getting to know, even when the edges are sharp and the cost seems great.

Much love to you and your own (re)discovery of your inner feminine, whether man or woman… ❤️

~

Serving women in 1:1 sessions is a deep passion of mine. This process of healing the feminine within and experiencing her full range of expression is so profound and endless! For more info on what my beloveds and I offer in session space, visit soulfullheart.org/sessions 🕊

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about FREE consultation calls, space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

 

Connecting & Healing With Star Family: My Recent Encounter

by Kalayna Solais

Parts of me were crying. My heart and soul were crying. Sobbing. Nearly wailing. The waves of pain moving through were great, coupled with so much longing for New Earth. For a dimension that feels truly like ‘home’… much more like ‘home’ than 3D has ever felt.

Everything in me was reaching out to me to hold it, but also reaching beyond me, to my Galactic aspects/Star Family that sometimes can’t be ‘seen’ even within my third eye, but can be felt within every cell in my body. They are part of me and I am part of them. We are inseparable and always in love. The kind of love they don’t tell you about in 3D. The kind of love that isn’t sold in magazines or written about in newspapers. It’s the kind of love that can’t be defined, only experienced, and only really let in as your heart heals the barriers to it.

As I sobbed, I felt my soul’s ache. I felt the pain of what it’s really been like to be in 3D. I felt it for myself and I felt it for others. I felt the repression… the suppression of truth, the rejection of real love. I felt tired, so tired, of stark polarities being played out and even worshipped by those who can’t see or feel it all, and those who just simply don’t care. I felt tired of judgments from Inner Punishers… the layers of my own that I’ve felt over the years and the ones that are being fused to by so many others right now. I felt a youngness in parts of me and I could give them permission to just BE young. To just FEEL, without judgment, without needing to be older than they are and to allow these Star Beings, these ancient and otherworldly energies, to just hold them with me.

My eyes were closed to allow sensations to be heightened. If my eyes had been open, they would have been searching for my Star Family beloveds instead of feeling them. They love to enter through the heart and answer our calls. They may not always materialize in the physical but they are there. They are always… always there.

I reached out in front of me, eyes still closed, to invite them even closer energetically. I invited in their touch and could feel the tiny hairs on my body ripple with their energy nearby. My elbows started to bend back towards me and my hands, no longer simply ‘mine’, found my cheeks. They explored my tears, fascinated by them, feeling my heart in them, letting me know that even though some of them don’t ‘feel’ the way we do as humans, they love us deeply. The ones who can feel us because in some ways they’ve BEEN us, offer such deep empathy and compassion that it’s hard to describe in anything but light language or simply energy. Just ask to experience this kind of love when you are ready and they will be there, offering as much of it as you are ready to let in…

I felt then, how they were here representing my own Star Family, yet also everyone’s Star Family. They offered a transmission then, which I published here. It was a transmission of encouragement, of deep feeling of us, and a beautiful reminder of how they are ALWAYS here with us and how everything we are experiencing now, no matter how challenging, is necessary and not without purpose.

I feel them inviting us all to ‘keep looking up’. Keep looking for them, physically and energetically. Psychically too. Keep ‘looking up’ for context whenever we feel parts of us still bound to 3D minutia and details and conditioning. Keep ‘looking up’ for breaks in the weather as we continue to move through all we are now, to become all we are meant to be.

If you need a guided meditation to help you along in connection to these energies for yourself, there are several from Jelelle Awen that I recommend as a powerful bridge for you:

Meet Your Star Family

Arcturian Healing Chamber

Also! ‘Free To Be Two’, the NEW 6-week group call series with Raphael and Jelelle Awen starts this coming Wednesday, May 20th: soulfullheart.org/freetobe2 — this is another way to connect with Star Family AND Soul Family too!

Much love, from my Star Family to yours… ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

The Path Of The Unspoken Heart: A Poem

By Kalayna Solais

Both powerful and scary
is the independent heart
That loves with everything it has
And gravitates towards
only love that flows
Not love that spits and stammers
and hammers on home
a declaration
that it in fact is superior love.
There’s no wrong in truths long hidden
Though pain emits
from the now lighted pathways
That couldn’t be felt
Or digested
Before.
Now in new light of day
New ownership beckons
Of what was left unclaimed
And in shadow.
No…
There is no ‘wrong way’ in this world
For all paths lead somewhere
And to some satisfaction.
It’s the path of into the unspoken heart, though
That calls most to my own soul
And the souls of those
Near and nearing my dimension
Held with love
And invited with care.
This is a declaration in softness
Both spoken and written
And awakened in this very heart that shares
Into the din of what cannot move
Without being invited from within.

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.