by Kasha Rokshana
If you’ve been in or around a ‘spiritual circle’ or offering of any kind for a while, you’ve probably heard about how ‘separation is an illusion’ quite often, yet perhaps it hasn’t really felt relevant or comforting to parts of you to hear that… and, you may have also felt a subtle (or not so subtle) rumble in your belly in response, a sense of being ‘wrong’ for buying into the ‘illusion’ or somehow not quite getting how separation isn’t real.
Separation IS an illusion, yet for parts of us, it isn’t… and for certain soul aspects of ours in other lifetimes, it also isn’t. There’s the theory that separation isn’t real, but sometimes it FEELS like the realest thing there is, especially with how much MORE separation in the physical is happening now between yourself and others. The Great Awakening has a cost to it and that cost is that you may start to feel closer to the Divine again, yet your relationships are crumbling along with your job prospects, your means of ‘making ends meet’, and perhaps even your whole way of seeing and experiencing life in your home country.
In some ways, with human division ripening and dissonance sometimes feeling much more real than any possible resonance with one another, how could separation NOT feel like the realest thing there is?
In my own experience of healing the separation wound to the depth I have already (with more layers to go, of course), I feel like the greatest reason for any part/soul aspect to feel ‘separate’ from the Divine, always comes down to the deepest feelings of unworthiness… of having been ‘cast out’ of the Divine Garden, of having been pressed back into the density of a human body (again), of not experiencing ‘love’ in the same way our souls know we so easily CAN when in our soul’s home dimension.
To make up for this unworthiness, parts of us reach for anything that can bring them back into the arms of the love they feel they’re missing, even at the detriment of the physical body or the numbing/transcendence of the deeply feeling human heart. There’s a throbbing ache inside the gap between the consciousness you have, the lacklustre relationships you’ve said ‘yes’ to, and perhaps even the spiritual practices you continue to do even if they aren’t quite answering the pain.
I’ve experienced at times triumphant, celebratory (and often VERY tearful) waves of reunion with the Divine in different forms, faces, and energies… within meditation and in my inner world, yet also in intimate reunion experiences with soul family and Sacred Union in the physical that open the once bruised heart back up again. And still, even with all of this, there are moments, processes, deep-dive experiences within, where I find yet another layer of shame and pain that creates feelings of not always being Divine let alone always being WITH the Divine.
I feel the Divine offering that these states of feeling separate are not only understandable, but expected… so deep are the layers of separation that reciting affirmations may help parts of you, yet not quite do all of the ‘work’ for you. It’s the bittersweet remembering that inside of you is a well of complicated soul and this-life experiences to keep wading into and exploring which brings you much closer to the Divine than trying so hard to move into a reality where separation no longer feels real without even glancing at the map before you, let alone traversing the actual terrain of the process of reunion.
This coming Sunday, Raphael and Jelelle Awen will co-host a group meditation call on Zoom at 5pm GMT, focused on healing the separation wound. They have been such profound models for me personally of how to enter into this territory of feeling aspects of you like the Divine Orphan, for example, and letting in the gifts of experiencing even deeper reunion and oneness frequencies with the Divine and even other souls too. You can attend the call live and/or receive the recording by offering any donation that feels good to you. You can find more info on this upcoming call here: soulfullheart.org/events
Lots of love from my journey of reunion to yours,
Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.