The Reunification & Reconciliation Of The Inner Masculine/Feminine

This geography is bringing up so much around what I feel is a reunification of the masculine and feminine within. I have been working with the inner feminine for some time now and it is ticking up a notch and a half since I have been here.

But this ‘working’ is not just some generalized notion of ‘The Feminine’, but rather a very specific relationship with a part or aspect of me in a more intimate way. It is ‘my feminine’. I don’t mean that possessively, but rather more personally. They have a name and a frequency just like any person I may have a relationship with.

This has taken some time for my masculine parts to let in, yet has brought with it so many gifts for them. There is something to lean into and to learn from that has been a bit out of their grasp of conditioned consciousness. There is a need and desire for reconciliation and reunification on both sides.

I feel this feminine aspect really desiring this attention and cultivation. She wants to help bridge the gap with my inner masculine aspects that have some things to clear around the repression (and fear!) of her and The Feminine in general. I feel this process actually landing me in more of a union and dance of gendered poles rather than a blending of the two in some unisexual way.

I will do this through journaling, meditation, and bringing as much of them into my waking reality as I can. As this communion deepens, I feel I will be present to my own needs for romance and service as they will each bring their own gifts and passions.

I want to thank Raphael Awen for being a model and bridge to this inner love affair that offers so much for my sacred masculine embodiment that is personal to me and not some archetypal masculine that feels inauthentic to my parts. I look forward to sharing more about this ongoing healing between these very powerful energies.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Bridging The Masculine & Feminine In Avalon

In the Heart of Avalon the energy of the sacred feminine runs deep. As a man it can bring up many different feelings and reactions. For me it has been a toggle between feeling at home and feeling amiss, like I don’t quite fit in.

The dance of the masculine and feminine within comes to the surface to be felt and called into union. I feel these aspects inside of me vying for attention and healing. A priestess energy that has been with me for some time yet is ripe for more relationship in this geography.

Then there is the architecture of the wounded masculine exemplified by the church tower on top of the Tor. It activates a priest and Roman aspect that feel the uneasy feeling of walking these lands remembering the ways in which the dominating culture created a veil to the magic of the time.

The beauty of it all is that I get to bridge those two together into my heart rather than be caught in the space between. I can bring them together in sacred ceremony as I sit here wide awake in the middle of the night. I am on a different clock now and that is the timepiece of the soul

I am here to feel. Here to heal myself as well as the collective masculine so that I may serve those knights of heart that feel the same calling within despite all the din and distraction. The sacred masculine is rising and has a journey toward and with the feminine. It is here and cannot be stopped, only resisted.

I am blessed to be here. I want to share my journey and serve the wisdom and love that arises from it. I have a purpose and the Divine has a plan of which I am only partially privy to. My masculine is acclimating to that while my feminine is revelling.

In the middle is the flow of Life.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Vulnerability Of The Masculine Relating To The Feminine

by Raphael Awen

The masculine in its ability and desire to provide is a great thing in and of itself, which we all have inside of ourselves regardless of gender.

Where the masculine gets into conflict is when it needs to find, maintain and suppress a dependent feminine in order to keep his gig working. Eventually this comes to a demise and both the masculine and the feminine are afforded an opportunity to restructure – vulnerably admit their fears, needs and desires to find a new way, or at least a completion of the old to eventually allow a new way to arise.
The masculine has a particular challenge in that it was born of a feminine womb and yoni from which it wants and needs to separate, to define itself, to be different enough to create attraction in order to be afforded a partaking of that exquisite feminine while it is trying at the same time to differentiate itself from and pretend to not need.

The more the masculine leads in the world with his power, attainments and capabilities, the more he is trying and still needing/seeking feminine love, as it is only the feminine than can give all that power and attainment meaning, yet he is not quite ready, or sufficiently aware to transparently and open heartedly admit the true nature of that need.

This dynamic takes a quantum leap forward when the masculine is ready to feel, ready to vulnerably admit need and desire to himself, his innerverse, his inner feminine, and then energetically and emotionally to the feminine in his outerverse, his universe – yoniverse.

When you get that sorted a bit, all lovemaking and love getting strategies take care of themselves, effortlessly as you have it aced inside, which is a very cool feeling for the masculine – doing something really stunningly well!

***

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of SoulFullHeart. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

Avalon Activations: Sacred Union Experiences in Avalon

By Jelelle Awen

Oh, these Avalon energies stir up sacred union within and with other as the Michael and Mary energy lines vibrate all around you! These ley lines of masculine and feminine energies are entwining and overlapping…..and then flowing away from each other again….only to return back into each other’s embrace again like lovers do.

These energy serpents spiral around the Tor together in a steady procession and then climax, bursting out on the top of the Holy Hill’s crown chakra…again, like lovers do! Once, powerful standing stones stood in a circle to capture this outward flow and redirect it within, connect it within the circle of souls gathered, and network it to the Stars and beyond.

We can bring these energies from the Tor now into our bodies and receive a template for a balanced flow there again of masculine and feminine. That which was once polarized can find union…and Mother Gaia shows us the way.

In this moment, I am in lovemaking afterglow with my beloved and feeling the energies of our sacred union dance move into new terrains and places of discovery from being here in these Avalon energies over a week now. Raphael and I had some tension and friction move through in the first days here….as many couples experience coming here.

Yet, we came into balance again, as we always eventually do, by going within and feeling our ‘sides’ of it. The parts of us and soul aspects (so triggered up here!) that need our attention and love receive it through the process of openness, curiosity and space from reaction.

And, so we return to Raphael and Jelelle again and to the steady transaction of love that is both brand new and many lifetimes long. I am so grateful for this soul, this man, this BEing who has journeyed with me through so many phases and stages this life. We’ve built up and let go of so many worlds together now. I am grateful to this king who brings out my queen with his devotion, with his kindness, with his directness, with his integrity, and with the HUGENESS of his heart.

Today, we visit the ruins of the Glastonbury Abby and King Arthur’s remains as well. And something else gets revealed in this visit and something previously unknown can then be explored and integrated. That is the reason for coming in the physical to these sacred places with energies that have remained unchanged for so long and remain pure…to know ourselves in new ways, to remember what our soul wants us to recall…to become the Infinite Love that we ARE.

Love from Avalon!
Jelelle Awen

Join Kasha and I for an Avalon Activation women’s group call on Sunday, September 20 at 5:00pm BST (9:00am PDT) with teachings, meditation, and sharings by donation. More information at http://soulfullheart.org/womengroupcalls

More information about 1:1 soul initiation/emotional healing sessions with me for women over Zoom and here in-person in Glastonbury at soulfullheart.org/sessions

The Divine Self And The Death Of Fear

Fear is a deeply sacred energy. It feels almost encoded into our being to act as veil AND and portal into our essence as Love.

Recently, I had a beautiful experience of feeling an arising, embodied relationship to The Beloved and my Divine Self. A spark of Light and Love that is increasing within. As that expands and brightens, it acts as a poultice for all that is needing attention and transmutation into that very spark.

Pockets of anxiety, doubt, and fear come bubbling to the surface, like a moth that is drawn to a flame. It recognizes the growth, the warmth, and thus the ability to hold and receive love. At the root, Fear seems to be the change agent, not the anchor it once was.

Fear can be expressed in so many ways, both inbound and outbound. We live among a highly energized fear bubble. It is highly compressed and dynamic. With that energy afloat in the collective it can be hard to not pick up on it in our own emotional body.

This is where connecting with what we call the Divine Self comes into service. As I call to mine and connect with it/him, I can feel what my personal fear is about and how, or if, it is connected to the collective in any way. A sorting out process. I can feel how much the fear is centered around Death itself.

And by that I just don’t mean physical death, but that is a big one right now. It is also the death of a system of beliefs, assurances, and patterns that parts of us have grown attached to. They almost feel like us and so the death of them feels existential.

As we continue to be invited to more inner Utopia and less outer Dystopia, we need something to ‘hang our hats’ on while the collapse and shift is underway. The Divine Self is the enduring self. It is the Alpha and Omega. It is the net by which we collect all of the things that are essential and release those that are not.

The Divine Self is the aspect of us that can hold the parts that are fused to fear and create a bridge back to Itself. A feedback loop that doesn’t judge when the fear returns. Just offers more compassion and celebration, as that is just another opportunity to open to more Grace and closer to The Beloved.

Fear is no longer resisted or covered over. It is honored, felt deeply, and transmuted back to Love through the Divine Self. This is the ultimate alchemy of the sacred human. Let’s expand that together and see where it takes us, as one and as all.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Pursuit Of The Divine, The Great Beloved

by Kalayna Solais

So much energy and focus has been placed on drawing THE mate… THE soul purpose… THE, well, anything you can think of that you’ve longed for your whole life or at least since you began to awaken.
But the pursuit of the Divine itself has been at the heart of it all… or perhaps, better to say, the pursuit of letting IN the Divine in a deep and unending love affair that lives deep inside of you.


This has been true for me. And only in these last few days have I really come to deeper realizations about this.

Parts of me have sought out an experience of a bond with the Divine through so much focus on drawing my next Sacred Union experience as well as a much deeper validation, you could say, of my reason for being here, for living, for serving love. I’ve visited and hung out with these darker edges of searching on the outside for what has been needed from me to me and from the Divine to me and back again.


I’ve shrunk, or parts of me have, in order to fit in with different ideas and ideals, social and romantic bonds, forgetting in moments the Divinity within and the unseverable cord to the Divine, to the Great Beloved, to Love itself, that sees everything I AM even when parts of me aren’t quite ready to yet. And… to let in that I too can have this love affair in an ever-deepening way with myself.


It doesn’t matter what I ‘know’. It never matters if I’m ‘right’. It doesn’t matter if I gain or lose 20lbs or if my hair is straight or curly. It doesn’t matter if my yoga poses are in full power, if I’m a ‘perfect’ SoulFullHeart Facilitator or a perfect spiritual student. It doesn’t matter… but my soul and heart’s relationship to the Divine within does. And this is what permeates all other things that I do, that I am, and that I am becoming.


The Divine really feels like the greatest lover we could ever conjure up in our romantic fantasies… the infinite love that sees everything we simply ARE beyond any facades, any fears, any window-dressing of self-image, and loves every inch of our bodies, every thought in our minds. It brings to us bouquets of compassionate flowers, leaving them at our heart’s doorstep every day. It’s the energy of being pursued with so much grounded and deeply loving gusto, that wants and persists in this wanting and claiming and pursuit.


This is so often sought through the false gods of relationships with false teachers, mates who cannot see us for they cannot see themselves, and even some spiritual or religious practices. This is so often not templated to us as something that is our birthright to have inside of us, from us to ourselves and our parts and back again.


We forget devotional practices so often, it seems… or what is at the core of them. We forget that in these practices of prayer, dancing, singing, meditation, we are also being responded to. We are not only worshipping and offering gratitude, we are being worshipped back. We are being loved deeply, no matter what we do or say. We are being met with equal desire for connection and alchemy. We take in nature and it takes us in. We take in love and love opens its heart to us.


As I let in the Beloved more and feel this energy live and breathe within me, I feel such a deeper sense of my authentic worth. This makes all else, all false gods parts of me have created out of a need and desire to experience God in an even more intimate way nearly fall away as I begin to truly feel how this is enough. I am enough. I AM. The Divine IS. My union with the Divine IS and always will BE.


And so it is, for you as well, for your preciousness as a heart and soul… And all beings on this planet.

❤️🙏🏻
Much love… Namaste.
Kalayna

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about FREE consultation calls, space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Love Can Never Leave You

The road my be wrought with obstacles
There may be others pointing this way and that
There may be sudden forks, unexpected curves, or steep climbs
You may be overwhelmed by storms or the glorious stars above
But no matter what comes your way
There is nothing that can take away
The Love that you have chosen to devote yourself to
That shines itself deeply within
From your leading edge to your trailing edge and back
Until there are no more edges to feel
And you merge into the Infinite Divinity of The Beloved
In each and every moment

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Sacred Growth Of Letting In & Letting Go In All Relationships

by Kalayna Solais

All we can ever feel with another being in this world is possibility, potentiality… nothing is ever a given, no matter how strong the vision of what could be or the depth of soul/heart connection that seems to just BE.


We are always sorting out and sorting through. We are taking in who we are through the reflection of another, directly or indirectly. We are choosing in every moment what resonates most for us right now, which may not resonate any longer in the next now. We are also this reflection, this point of resonance or dissonance for others, in relationship to them.


None of us are exempt from this sacred sorting out process or the growth that comes of it.
Let go, let in, let go again… be surprised, be enlivened, by new beginnings and even necessary collapses. Though there is always more to feel and be with in all of this, and many reactions pinging for parts of you, it’s all part of the process of deepening your intimacy with yourself and with others as well, whether they can continue to connect with you on the next leg of your individual journeys, or not.


Each and every time I walk this out… I’m surprised by what it opens out within me. The clarity of what I want next, the boundaries I need to hold with an open heart, are priceless to feel and honour. It’s always challenging in new ways, but feeling the trust in my own growth that I know is always available and necessary, that helps me sink and surrender into each crucible… and feel the Divine with me at all times.


Much love from my ever-growing and opening heart to yours,
Kalayna

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

In The Darkness The Queen Is Born

By Deya Shekinah

It’s hard to share and write as much when I am in the depths of feeling darker emotions and shadow aspects of myself. It feels so vulnerable for my parts to show the depth of grief, unworthiness, self loathing and entitlement they are feeling. For younger parts it can feel dangerous to show these feelings, as they are so conditioned to be good, nice and keep quiet. Yet to show up as the woman I know I am, this process of welcoming, owning and revealing the darkness feels like a key part of maturation and embodiment.

As I danced this morning with the darkness, I could feel how alive and juicy it feels to dance, feel and express these darker emotions. There is a power within them, that feels so connected to embodying and stepping into my Queen. To push intensity and darkness away, to hide from it and make it ‘not ok’, I feel like I am pushing away essential parts of myself as a woman. My passion, my pleasure, my joy, my purpose are all being suppressed along with them. 

There have been times these past weeks where my parts feel like they are drowning in the darkness, like they will never find their way through. To be honest that can still feel like the only reality as I, Deya, am still growing my capacity as a space-holder for my parts, and am still becoming the container that they can rest into and feel held within, rather than becoming them.

I don’t think I have ever felt so shaky in my life. Even as I feel a strength in sharing these words in the moment, once they are out in the world, the unworthiness, fear and anxiety will surely arise as they keep doing. The more I am choosing to step up and shine, to be more authentic, to follow my desire to be in service to Love and to be in intimacy with others, the more these shadows are being revealed.

It feels like there are now no other options, no more hiding places; there is no way to go but IN. To be authentic, to serve and to live in joy includes all of the uncomfortable emotions, to Love and be in intimacy with myself, with life and with others includes them all too. To be a Queen means being willing and brave enough to face the shadows. To be a Queen means to lead by example with a loving, empathetic heart to the feelings of others, because she is in a deep, real and intimate relationship with her own and knows the challenges that will be faced on this journey through her own lived experience.

Love,

Deya x

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

Reclaiming The Lost Boy Of Our In-essence

As a sensitive boy growing up, I could feel so much around me yet had no real guidance on how to interpret, digest, and integrate it all. This is really true for most if not all of us. The biggest piece I am revisiting now is the depth of my sexual trauma as a boy moving into manhood.
Confronted with so many images, energies, and conditionings around sex and sexuality, this boy in me found himself between a rock and a hard place (pardon the pun). There was the desire for innocence to be the name of the game. To dance with the essence in both the boy and the girl. Like a journey of discovery and playfulness.

Instead it was about fitting in to the dominant culture of woundedness. Girl became an object of my need to be validated as a man in the world. Her yoni a portal back into the womb of The Mother. But Girl was wounded too. She was looking for her own needs to be filled…so to speak
Now Boy is caught between fulfilling the needs of both the wounded masculine in his power over the feminine and the wounded feminine in her need to feel some hook into the masculine. Both invulnerable and unable to really see each other in their innocence or in-essence.

I reconnected with that boy in me again and replayed those days while feeling the innocence in contrast. The pain of what this boy packed away in order to survive in that world was heart-wrenching. I could feel the toxicity and pain swelling in my cells. All of the trauma that I never categorized as trauma because men don’t do that in what is just ‘those teenage years’.
If, as men, we were to really feel where we lost our innocence, we would really get to a core of who we are as a man. Why we have done, and to some degree still do, the things that we do. If we can ‘come to Jesus’ with this Lost Boy inside of us, we would find the root and beauty of our masculine innocence. Something we packed away a long fucking time ago.

In that innocence we also find the warrior who has fiercely protected him. The warrior who has both shadow to heal and truth to tell. Between them both is the Man who has a vulnerable heart and a willingness to call bullshit when he sniffs it. He is willing put his heart on the line but not his power. He is willing to seek forgiveness but not condemnation.

There has been no greater process for me than the one I am currently in. This Lost Boy in found again in my heart. I am loving him with every once of it that I have access to. It is my current sacred bromance. It is this process that activates and unearths more of my King or Sacred Sovereign Masculine Self. It is this process that leads me to more self-love and ability to see, feel, and relate authentically to the feminine within and without.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.