Authenticity – Page 2 – Divine Self Embodiment Blog (Formerly SoulFullHeart)

By Wayne Vriend

Have you ever felt that a smaller or lesser version of you is living your life? (By smaller or lesser, I don’t mean bad or wrong, but rather lacking in your power and bigness.)

Why can’t you find friends to whom you don’t feel so invisible around?

Why does your family culture seem so impenetrable to your changing values?

Why do you remain in relationships that you know have a high degree of toxicity?

Why have you been unable to find a more fulfilling way to earn money in the world?

If the above questions don’t feel like the ones you ask about your life, then you have either found and healed your way to a really rare healthy life configuration, or it’s a smaller version of you who is doing the assessing.

A smaller version of you, made up of specific parts of you, are what does life until a you arises to alleviate them of the strategized way of doing your life that they have learned to do, in your absence. Up till now.

This smaller version of you is looking for a good enough status quo kind of equilibrium with which to survive, and especially to avoid rejection and pain. This applies if you are outwardly struggling in life or considered successful and well adapted. This smaller version of you is very predisposed to only taking the safest of risks, which are hardly risks at all, and has become expert in living out of preapproved cultural norms. This you won’t allow you to show up in your real and vulnerable feelings for fear that if that you gets rejected, there is no stand in double to take it’s place. Even your expressions that you consider authentic and real are channelled through this managed bureaucracy of you to significantly tone down the risks, and to strategize the ‘realness.’

The smaller version of you is run by what we call the Prime Monarch part of you, (ultimately motivated by love, but compromised by life’s hardening experiences) and it is in charge of the parts of you who had to be suppressed inside of you for your intact functioning. The vulnerable and afraid you; the magical you; the you who still only knows how to truly play; all had to be suppressed as you grew ‘up.’

And given the territory; and given the lack of a present you who could relieve this smaller version of you; this you is to be honored and thanked. It found a way. It showed up.

The difficulty though is this new you arising with these deeper assessment questions that you maybe didn’t even notice on your radar much before are now growing in your awareness. This new you begins with emerging desire, honesty, needs, advocacy, dissatisfaction, and self love to become a presence in your ‘you’ stream.

What would your real power and bigness look like if it manifested in your life and relationships and decisions? You might be able to get whiffs of it, but you don’t really know, do you?

Of course you don’t. You haven’t lived your way there, which is the only way to ever arrive and keep arriving there. There is no one size fits all template of what bigness looks and feels like. There are some very refreshing common earmarks, but the way they show up and express in your life are as diverse as fingerprints and snowflakes.

So the real question then is something like this: ‘How could the life I’m living, the one I find myself in, actually lead me to more and more of my real self, instead of fortifying my false self?’

That question in itself is only one that an emerging real self could ask. The smaller version of you simply can’t entertain such a question. It can embrace self improvement, and fixing problems, but not the task of emotional authentication.

I feel the smaller part of myself right now, as I write this, wondering if it’s OK to be this big, to be this authoritative sounding, to say we have solutions, and also wondering where this will lead, away from my own current familiar. ‘Who’s going to look after me?’ he asks. The small part of ourselves is not bad, or a drag. They feel insecure because their needs and vulnerability is real, and they need a larger us, who is willing to feel them and respond, rather than suppress and power through.

Soulfullheart, as a process (not to be mistaken with a therapy), was created for people who are at this stage of awareness, and desire, and frustration – all necessary ingredients to making the choice to find and discover and heal your way to your real you. The SFH process derives its’ value from people like you who feel called to themselves to undertake it.

If this article resonates inside of you as speaking your truth, I promise you, that your real you is waiting and longing for you to take the next step into your bigness, and begin your Soulfullheart process.

Please contact me, Wayne or my wife Jillian for a free intro into where you could go from here.

Visit soulfullheart.com for more articles and information about the SoulFullHeart healing process.

By Wayne

We are in the middle of huge change.

Just what is going on? And at what pace is that happening? And, more so, how will it affect me and my family? What’s a sane amount of preparation? To what degree are we going to have to ‘just wing it’?

Many of us are managing our lives and facing these new challenges in such a way as to remain buoyant, to look on the bright side, and not to succumb to an anxiety that we feel around us and in us. We’re afraid of going into our anxiety, for fear it will swallow us. If not swallow us, it certainly would slow us down, affect our performance on our jobs, affect our relationships, etc. Our success is dependent on our positive bearings, we feel. While that strategy feels like it has worked in times past, it is actually setting you up for a much harder landing, given the pace of change we are facing. This is essentially the ‘Extend and Pretend’ approach of our political, economical, and spiritual leaders, as reflected in our mainstream media, that has held so much of our allegiance.

This ‘extend and pretend’ approach also applies to how you relate to your internal reality. The challenge comes with getting in touch with your emotional reactions and conversant with what you really feel, especially what we call the, ‘negative’ emotions of shame, anxiety, and depression. In my opinion, allowing yourself to feel these feelings is the single most important thing you can do to prepare yourself to be in a place of fitness to face these unfolding changes. Nothing it seems in our current society supports this kind of awakening. But, your depression and your anxiety and your attempts at control are not what’s wrong with you. They are the path to being the most real you and the most alive you and the most contributing-to-the-world you that can be. If you can embrace them.

I feel a voice, the voice of my own heart calling out to me, and you:

If you sign on to your most alive path, then you are about to enter the most interesting and intense journey, the most well written plot and sub plotted story, the story of you. But you can’t know and experience it any other way than by living your way into it, on this planet, at this interesting and transitional time. You already have it. You don’t need to attain something, or overcome something, or escape you in order to enter this very true story.

Your only requirement is yielding to this story of you.

If you sign on, Life will soon bring your first choice embarking into this story. You won’t know where it is going to end up, you will only know clearly in this one choice what YOU really want. Oh, you will have a wrestling of what you ‘should’ do and anxiety about the possible outcome, but in your heart, you will know what is the path of your true and real story, the internal script or scrip-ture of your life, for this one choice at hand. It will take huge courage, no doubt, but not more than you currently have available to you.

Living in this story will become your new mode of living. It offers you no guarantee of what is coming financially, or what is coming regarding your career, or even your relationships. Chances are strong that most people are not resonant with or ready to join you in your new way of navigating life. It’s funny this new way is all about navigating, but nothing about controlling. You value the people in your life and the money and advantages you have, but you no longer live from the dead ground of basing life’s choices on protecting and preserving them, at the cost of your true story.

Life’s choices still come at you whether you sign on to this most authentic and magical journey of you or not; it’s just that the choice you make is often very different from what is considered safe or even sane.

As I write these words, my heart aches at the pain I’ve felt and the time and relationships it has taken for me to transition from an external scripture to an internal one. From an ‘extend and pretend’ mode of life to a real and authentic one. Arriving at adulthood, I attached myself so deeply to learning and living by the Christian Bible as the truth of all life, the meaning of all life, the guarantee that my living and breathing on this earth would come to the most meaningful outcome and the most reward, both in this life and the next if I lived out of and in allegiance to that truth. I see now that the challenge of following my own heart in the way and degree I describe above I was working towards, but not yet ready for. It was the most authentic journey of my life then. There was no possible other outcome it seemed. Until there was.

Actually, the story of you (as it was for me) is so difficult to let in, in fact, that most of our lives (and lifetimes) are spent in earlier domains while we gather the courage for the next step, the next true and authentic and totally natural step. And, none of this is wasted time or unnecessary pain as it all leads to growth.

There is such a deeper ground of living arising now, in the midst of global collapse, where the ‘extend and pretend’ modes of life are finally wrapping up. And we are all being invited to live an internal and external reality that is more in alignment with our authentic selves.

Visit soulfullheart.com for more articles and information about the SoulFullHeart healing process.