Honouring Your Own Unique And Very Personal Journey Of Ascension

By Kalayna Solais

Feeling behind. Feeling as if we are risking being ‘left behind’ if we aren’t able to tune into what everyone else that shares awareness of Ascension is tuning into and feeling personally. Fearing that we aren’t going to be enough to ‘ascend’ or to be ‘chosen’ TO ascend, perhaps.

These are feelings that I think so many of us can resonate with on some level. These fears feel existential and like they live in our Metasoul aspects in other timelines who HAVE been ‘left behind’ by others and on a deeper level still, there’s more to feel about ‘abandonment’ by the Divine too… maybe also in this life parts of you have trauma from the ‘competition’ conditioning, from growing up in a culture where you are always striving to be THE best, not YOUR best or even just where you are at and having that be ok. There are so many layers to this and for me, I’m still discovering many of them personally and how deep they go.

I’m a part of a highly catalytic process and soul family community that we always say is on a ‘moving conveyor’. The more work you do within you, the more your outer world changes and the more shifts you feel invited to take of your own volition too. The more parts of you that you feel in their traumas and begin to have a relationship with, the more you realize the changes you need to make in your life in ALL areas of your life.

This means that at any time, one of us could decide unilaterally that there is something we need to address, move on from or move toward, and that could be a big thing or a small thing. There are always next and next and next steps too as the inner awakening and openings deepen. There are new discoveries and new strata of consciousness that begin to open up and out. New relationships are drawn. New alchemy on all levels. All of these are sacred journey markers that are very individual and a result of the individual journey. It look and feel like pure ‘magic’ and it really is, but it’s also worked very hard for.

When you have conditioning in your soul’s timelines and the heart of your parts from this lifetime that there is something always to envy in others for the sake of feeling badly or ‘not good enough’ inside of yourself, this isn’t that easy to digest all the time. Jealousy can be kicked up. A feeling that you must be lacking something or have something ‘wrong with you’ if you aren’t experiencing what they are experiencing. This is one of the major reasons why I needed the break I did…. so that this comparison dance and suffering loop could be deeply felt into by me, so that I could arise for myself with more respect and self-love. This could only happen if I got big enough for my most intense and self-punishing parts/aspects to lean into me. This was the crux of my process at times in relationship to the lives of others around me too… feeling parts of me envying their skills (that they’ve worked hard for), their fitness level, their relationships, etc. This has gone on and on for me for as long as I can remember… and only now is this starting to shift into new ground.

Why is it SO hard to just BE with our own journey? Why do we look to others for templating but then resent them for it at times?

These questions feel complicated and like the answers lie within every individual. I think it’s so hard to remember that we are ultimately here to experience Ascension in a PERSONAL way, though we are returning to oneness too. I’m discovering, especially as I feel a relationship beginning with a Reptilian aspect of me, just how deep this ‘programming’ of avoiding the individuation process of our healing and Ascension actually goes and why it can feel a bit scary.

I had a yoga teacher once, many years ago now, who offered something during class that made us all laugh but it was actually quite poignant. She was showing us the many stages of one particular posture. When she got to the most advanced one, she said,

“See? There’s NOTHING there! There’s no need to rush yourself into this ‘advanced’ place when you have so much to discover along the way”.

That really impacted me at that time and it remains with me today because I think I was supposed to take that in deeply for my own ongoing experience of spirituality and of life itself… it really IS about the journey and not the destination. Ascension is a journey. ‘5D’ is not really a destination so much as an invitation into a new frequency in which to anchor our consciousness as much and as often as we can. Every individual’s soul expression and attainments are their own, often worked for over multiple lifetime experiences and deep inner work too. There’s nothing left to ‘envy’ if we can see it this way… but there could be a lot to be inspired by!

Plus, our own journeys, when we have the space within to honour them, are proof positive of our own inner work and also the growth and healing phases that we personally need that are a reflection of our bigness in order to be with them. Maybe there is no ‘ultimate destination’ but in fact, it all keeps deepening and expanding from here. This is such a humble way to look at and hold ourselves and this whole Ascension process on a collective level too.

I wanted to share this bit about my own journey and discoveries as an expression of my own uniqueness that I’m learning to embrace more and more. I hope that it helps you feel more love and respect for your own too… for the journey you’re on as YOU.

Much love! ❤

Kalayna


Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart facilitant, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Coming ‘Home’: My Journey Away From And Back Again To Soul Family

by Kalayna Solais

I feel like I’ve arrived back ‘home’…

And in many ways, I have!

I have been on a journey inward for the last three months. I collapsed my relationship to my beloveds here in SoulFullHeart, my ‘title’ as a Facilitator/teacher of this way of life and process, and even my ‘role’ as a wife on a deeper level. I have been returning to myself. Returning ‘home’ to me so that I could feel what I truly wanted in my soul and what I was working, healing, and birthing on that level and beyond.

For me, this separation phase was never about completely severing everything that has made me ‘me’… this SoulFullHeart process has been the one thing that has ever worked for me, reaching deep into the heart and soul of my wounds and my gifts too. In fact, it was this process that held the steps into separation and the bigger context of it and held all of us through everything that came out of it and is still unfolding too.

Letting go of these souls that I have so much ‘history’ with on a heart and soul level has been one of the hardest things for me to do. What was so interesting to me though, were the many moments of dawning realizations, not just of what had to collapse between us and why in both this life and other lifetimes, but also of these newly arising senses of how to serve myself in my own unfolding process and how this was the only way to find connection with my beloveds again if that was to arise someday. This allowed me to feel so much surrender to every moment of sadness, anger, despair, joy, and connection both inner and outer and allowed me to allow in the Divine, Star Family, parts of me, and aspects of my Metasoul in other lifetimes too.

I found ways to feel my heart again, even though it was breaking. I found openings within me on the other side of many tears and sometimes rather feverish journaling and deep meditation experiences that allowed me to feel deeply loved and held by an energy both bigger than me and as big as me too. I could feel my beloveds actually living inside of me, where they would always live, no matter what happened next.

And, I trusted. Oh, how I trusted… I trusted every time I felt like trying to be social was a stretch for my parts that day and stayed home instead. I trusted every journal entry, every time I felt like I wasn’t getting anywhere, every time I was reminded to be gentle with myself because parts of me were getting too caught up in accomplishing or ‘getting over this’ already and couldn’t be gentle with themselves or each other. I trusted every feeling of being in a heavy downward shame spiral, knowing that if I could just hold it and be with it, I would find the other side of it. And sure enough, there were my guides in the form of beloved Metasoul and Divine connections, calling out to me, reminding me to lift UP and hold it all with my bigness and heart capacity, not go down with it. I realized over and over again how humbling this is to do and how no one can teach you how to do this, it has to come from your own experience.

I’m still digesting the goodness that I’ve earned now…that is really about earning the expanded capacity to transact goodness and love with others, not the goodness itself so much. I had goodness even in the separation. I just have it again in these precious relationships with those that know me better than anyone ever has and who I am getting to know and fall in LOVE with all over again.

My heart is full, happy and humbled to be ‘back’… to be in sessions again as a Facilitant and perhaps eventually a Facilitator when it’s another phase of that for me. I highly recommend meeting with Raphael or Jelelle for a session, at least one, to get a taste for yourself of what I’m sharing here. This process has a deep impact that can’t be forgotten, even if you only dive into it for a while. More information here about sessions: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Much love to you, from the heart of my journey to the heart of yours!

~ Kalayna

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart facilitant, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

The Process Of Uncovering Gratitude

by Kalayna Solais

Feels strange and yet somehow ‘right’ to have ‘Canadian Thanksgiving’ tomorrow, even though in my life I feel like on a multi-dimensional level, gratitude is continuing to deepen and expand out from me and parts of me at every turn.

This year, I feel like it’s a time to really, soberly, look at, see, FEEL my life as it is and not force my parts into an ‘attitude of gratitude’ but to really feel them in where they might still be tripping over the whole concept of being grateful and why.

I know that inside of me and in my process over the years there’s been a lot of layers of entitlement to feel and heal. I’ve felt though, with each part that’s had this disposition, that underneath the entitlement is a sense of a lack of worthiness. A sense that they won’t get what they want unless they fight for it and ultimately too, a belief that they won’t actually EVER get what they want and that others will instead.

I’m still feeling into what’s truly underneath that meme that’s been ringing and pinging inside for so long and on a soul level too, yet it’s being uncovered with effort and desire to heal it. And, it feels like this ‘Thanksgiving’ celebration day tomorrow helps to bring in some sort of intention around it… around truly and viscerally healing the entitlement that still lingers and moving it into even deeper gratitude than I already feel.

Really feeling our gratitude is actually quite the process. Any bypassing that’s had to be done in order to ‘get there’ actually just buries the parts that feel like they aren’t getting what they want or even what they need, especially from you to you, you to them, parts of you to other parts of you in their relationship with each other.

There’s a lot to feel about this in the collective too of course, and it’s evidenced by our overuse of natural resources, lack of feeling and compassion towards one another and being competitive instead. Even in our domination of animals. Any sort of ‘Thanksgiving’ holiday is really just another reminder to have a look at all of this and how it’s been configured inside of each of us. What IS your personal relationship to gratitude and how does it live in you?

I feel this question as a meditation for myself… and one that I ongoingly want to feel deeply into as I DO have so much to be grateful for, always. And so much that I have earned through personal process, through ‘crawling through glass’, and also, through following with courage what my own soul and heart have wanted more than anything else. In other words… I think the deepest source of gratitude for anything in our lives HAS to be rooted in feeling grateful, ultimately, for our own journeys and where they have had to go, where they are now, and where they seem to be leading.

Much love to you… and if you’re celebrating this weekend… Happy Thanksgiving! 

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

 

Calibrating To NEW Waves Of Love After September’s Growth Processes

by Kalayna Solais

We grow to glow…

Don’t we?

So much inner processing and it all leads somewhere new. Sometimes that new place suddenly dawns on us, reveals itself in moments unexpected. It so pays to have as much resonance around you as you and your parts can let in in order to experience this and feel the magic of the revelation when it’s being reflected by those you love.

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I am in the dawn of a new phase of deeper and brighter self-awareness that’s come from years of feeling quite anchored in frequencies that I knew weren’t me and that I just had to be with as I felt parts of me that weren’t ready to let go of what was hurting them yet. This continues to be a process but it’s finally reaching a place where the clouds are parting more easily and often. I know in my heart this is a good place to be that has been hard-earned now. And also that this new spaciousness inside of me is meant to hold even deeper dives into soul patterns and pain but also hold space for others as they come to me for support on their healing and Ascension journeys.

The gathering we held last week was a gift in so many ways that are still landing in me. It’s felt surreal to be serving love and giving energy healing to souls that really wanted to be immersed with us here! I could feel the payoff of where I’ve gone inside, especially in the challenges of the last few months. This ended up bringing me some physical symptoms to move through too, as my chakras recalibrate to what’s real NOW.

I sat at one of my favourite spots last night to take this photo. I wanted to visit with the animals that live nearby and take in the sunset codes too. I was feeling how amazing of a day I just had with collaborating with Jelelle on the stunning women’s call we held together yesterday while also feeling some sadness in my field… Some of it mine, some of it not. There’s still so much I’m learning to let in of the real goodness and LOVE streaming in right now while also feeling parts that are afraid.

That’s the ongoing process for everyone on some level… The calibration and re-calibration to REAL love and what it invites and asks.

Happy last day of September, everyone! What a MONTH! ❤️

~

You can purchase the recording of the call with Jelelle and me yesterday on our website: soulfullheartwayoflife.com 🦋

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Healing The ‘Black Sheep’ Archetype

by Kalayna Solais

When you’re a child, you start to learn right away what is expected of you. You’re meeting expectations of when to start talking, walking, even behaving more maturely, whatever definition of ‘mature’ you’ve been taught. You learn, then, about what makes you feel like you’re on track with this and what doesn’t and you take in the impact of that.

As you get older and start to awaken more to your soul but also what your heart really feels and wants, the pain starts to set in… the pain of feeling like you don’t belong and maybe never have. A feeling like you simply cannot ‘win’ no matter what you do or don’t do. Parts of you form to deal with this and find a way to be in the world but you still can’t reconcile your differences; those aspects of who you are that seem to set you apart from everyone else.

In some cases, you may start becoming ‘therapized’ as the only way that your 3D-conditioned parents or authority figures feel they can ‘help’ you. You may be put on medication that numbs and dulls your natural ability to FEEL. Even the anxiety and depression you’ve experienced, which is held by parts of you that are hurting and also feeling on their radar a sense that they really aren’t safe in this conditioning and aren’t being loved the way they need and deserve to be.

You now see yourself as the ‘black sheep’ of the family but also of the culture you’ve been raised in. You may even feel this with your friends or co-workers. I know I have.

In my recent process, I was working with a part of me that always felt she was the ‘black sheep’. We had to go into a scene together where she could line-up her birth family members and feel the lingering judgements and criticisms, the messages of ‘you’ll never make it on your own’ which may not have been directly said but were energized.

Together, we could start to feel their Higher Selves in the room too, and their Higher Selves offered that this wasn’t actually about what it seemed to be about… it wasn’t about me or this part of me being a ‘failure’ (though in a 3D sense it’d be pretty easy to see it that way). It was actually about a wonder they have at the conditioning I’ve been able to say ‘no’ to, the risks I’ve said ‘yes’ to and the trust I now have more and more in my life, even the challenges that sometimes feel like mountains to climb.

In this, I found compassion for them even though I still hold a boundary.

In this, I found a way to truly see and honour myself and my own journey as well as seeing the sacredness of their own.

In this, I could feel how this theme of ‘not belonging’ and being looked down on somehow has played out in all of my relationships in one way or another, even with my soul family and my recent marriage too.

And, in this, I could feel how just about every single one of us who has been on an awakening and healing journey has felt like some form of the ‘black sheep’ and played out this theme countless times, often with angst and restlessness and even suicidal feelings.

On the other side of this process, I could bring this part of me into a new form other than the ‘black sheep’. She was able to shake off the black and the sheep suit came off too. She turned into a young lioness, full of power and presence, yet with heart and vulnerability. She is finding a new home inside of me where she can truly belong and be seen and loved for who she is, even in those times where she is being shown something not-so-easy to see or feel about herself.

You’ve been taught to look outside of you for validation and even for connection to Divine love.

You’ve been conditioned to believe that you’re always supposed to ‘achieve’ and ‘succeed’ even though the goalposts keep moving. This happens in 3D and also 4D in different spiritual groups too where your ‘black sheep’ feelings can become amplified instead of felt deeply, often in the form of ‘tough love’ which is really just outright abuse.

The feelings of not-belonging can be healed as the parts of you begin to unify, one by one, with each other and with you.

Love is the glue that brings your heart and soul back together again to wholeness within that can no longer be severed. Love is the juice that catalyzes the transformation from within. Yours is the love your lost and world-weary parts most need to feel, to remove their own sheep suits… for they were never meant to be ‘sheep’.

They were meant to be ‘lions’.

Much love! ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

Divine Mother’s Presence Post-Lunar Eclipse

By Kalayna Solais

Divine Mother.

The energy I’m reminded of today as I feel the impact of the Lunar Eclipse yesterday.

She is an energy that bridges me back to me without force yet sometimes fire. She connects me back to connection within and shows me the doorway to my own heart again. Her lack of judgement and full-on love soothes the edges of my Masculine inside and encourages my Feminine into her power alongside him.

It’s sure been a journey to deepen this connection with Her. It’s been a journey for my soul in other lifetimes too, to heal the picture and projection of the “Goddess” who smites and incites war. It’s been a journey to feel how She has no righteousness, only a deep care and compassion that can feel unsentimental as needed to help us live into our next places of healing and seriously moving on and UP. She holds no grudges or vengeance which is SUCH a powerful template for ALL women and men too to let in.

Connecting with Her right now, I feel Her hand on my back and Her heart activating my Higher Heart in a way only She can… as I myself learn to keep letting in and letting go, letting BE what IS and being real. Letting the messy be felt so the clean-up can begin. She does not judge my mess, but encourages it, for I have to learn to fall in order to learn to walk, run, and even fly.

I feel her bringing truth to parts and Metasoul aspects from other timelines too that need it in a way that doesn’t criticize but does illuminate what has been in shadow nonetheless. I feel Her through my closest beloveds sometimes and other times on my own when in meditation. My parts cry when they feel Her, especially when they most need to feel Her because of what’s surfacing in them and what they’re feeling through or getting ready to feel through. Her help in showing us where we need to go inside can be intense yet so is Her love and both of these energies flow in equal waves to and with us.

And so She is this energy of turbines and windmills, churning and soothing, for all of us. And as we enter these next phases for ourselves and our Collective, She presences Herself in ever-growing ways as we begin to let Her and Her love in even more. ❤️

~

This energy and more is what I transmit during one-on-one Bridging Sessions with me. I get to share what I have benefitted from in ways that keeps deepening the more I serve. 😊 For more on sessions with me or another SFH Facilitator: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

You Have What You Need For Your Higher Timeline/Self

By Kalayna Solais

Everything you need to leverage you into your Higher Timeline and Higher Self/You is right in front of you.

It can feel like grabbing hold of a pull-up bar when you don’t realize you have the strength yet to hoist yourself up and onto it.

And then you do. And you realize that everything you’ve been through up until now is what’s giving you the strength to muscle your way up, aligned with heart, breath, body, and soul.

And you realize… that everything and everyone you’ve BEEN, every part of you that has led your life in ways both obvious and underground, has also brought you to this place. This chance to take a leap and fly.

The choice now is yours. If you’re ready now to sacredly sprout and grow your own wings with the support and love of the Divine and Star Family too… releasing any expectations that someone will lend or hand you their own and trusting that yours will be ready when you are.

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

July’s Energies Unsentimentally (Though Lovingly) Moving Us To NEW Timelines

By Kalayna Solais

Energy Update: So this morning I finally managed to spill tea ALL over my laptop… sigh! What is normally such a carefully placed (and essential for getting up and teaching online SO early in the morning) item was spontaneously dropped, complete butterfingers, out of my hand and directly onto my beloved computer.

Thankfully I can work through my iPad and it was unscathed somehow in this storm of hot flying tea.

What was interesting about this was what was offered last night when in meditation before bed.

I was offered that these July energies have the potential to feel “unforgiving”. Not unloving, yet they can feel unforgiving or perhaps it’s better to say “unsentimental” in showing us and parts of us exactly what needs to be taken care of or let go of.

In my case, of course there’s the relationship I am continuing to let go of, but now also my laptop which was bought used in Mexico and actually hadn’t been doing that well lately… I had been taking care of it as best I could, yet it still had the energy of an old timeline of poverty, lack, and the energy of hiding that I had been in somewhat when living in Mexico for four years. Just being back in Canada since November has been SO catalytic for me and for the others in my community here. It’s been both phenomenally easy to be here and challenging at times too with many deep processes coming up and ripples through all of us as we deepen our relationship to ourselves and each other.

The ‘black moon’ at the end of this month, in addition to what I’ve heard is a super intense phase of many planets going retrograde, means that we are being asked to take some leaps into new timelines for ourselves. These leaps are not expected to be easy. The need to ground into ourselves, our bodies, our hearts, is big right now. Grounding in by feeling parts of you in reaction to what’s coming up is important and helpful.

More on what I mean by ‘parts’ here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

2019 has been intense and somewhat rough in many ways. Even with Disclosure taking place more in ways long expected and hoped for, we are being shown ripples that can only get bigger and reach farther, including inside of all of us. Embracing your inner disclosure by feeling what has been in shadow is something beyond helpful right now and will help ease you into all of the outer changes coming in.

For more direct support of whatever you’re navigating through, 1:1 sessions are available with myself or other SoulFullHeart Facilitators: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Completing Our Sacred Union Romance

By Gabriel & Kalayna Solais

From Gabriel ~ 

This is a hard post to write for many reasons. It signals the completion of something that has been a big part of my journey the past six years so there is mourning. It opens up to the vulnerability of what is real and moving for me in transparency. All of this is held with Love and Grace.

Recently I felt a need for Kalayna and I to take some physical space to feel into some deeper layers that have been some core issues between us for some time. We had been having a hard time connecting on a deeper level and could feel some much needed heart exploring and feeling to get to a root of something.

The fear was always that we could wind up finding out what has been eluding us that may not be reconcilable. Something baked in our dynamic that had a time stamp. We have been down this road a few times and eventually we needed to complete to go back into our own processes. Each time though we came back with new awareness and foundations.

However, this time we have had to admit through deep tears and some frustrations, that this romance needs to complete for its last time. The last chapter of a volume that comprises our larger story. It was not an easy choice to make considering we did just get married. I knew that there were things we had to go into but I wanted to do that while wed to her, because that is how I saw her. That is how I wanted to remember what we had. That she was my wife. My partner. My beloved mate in this wild ride of ascension.

The reasons run deep and wide. We have many differences between us that are hard to reconcile. In our solo processes and sessions with Jelelle and Raphael, we realized that what we have is meant in a different context. One that doesn’t have romantic ties but ties that run deep nevertheless. I have found that I need a space to access more of who I am to myself and in intimacy. I have work to do just as any other ascending human man. Kalayna came to a very similar conclusion for herself.

So many timelines and stories have needed to collapse and complete so that I can open up more to the Love that wants to occur from me to me, me to the Divine, and me to Other. This is an ebb and flow of clarity and tears. I hold this just as sacred as when I got married. This time I am marrying/integrating more of myself that had been put aside in the name of the Usness that just wasn’t meant to be in this way.

In all of this, the one thing that has always held firm and true is that my love for Kalayna is real. So much so that I need to let go so that she can arise and draw what her deepest heart needs. The same is true from her to me. This death and rebirth is a part of what we signed up for and it has been one of the biggest ones to date for me.

Thank you for taking this in to your heart and holding it with reverence. I will answer any questions you may have. I appreciate all the love and support you gave us during our time together and feel blessed to have been a recipient of it. I feel held in all of this by Divine Love. There is no one else I could have walked this out the way we have at this time then Kalayna. Thank you so much Kalayna for everything you were, are, and will continue to be.

From Kalayna ~

It’s been 6 years.

6 years of friendship, of off-and-on romance, of deep connections together on all levels: soul, heart, body, and mind.

And now something so sacred to us both is deeply completing.

We have navigated life together in so many different ways and phases… we’ve pressed forward into plans, launched ourselves into the unknown, met new parts of ourselves and each other, felt new Metasoul aspects of ourselves that are connected to one another and some that aren’t or don’t seem to be too. I’ve grown so much because of being with this amazing man… and the recent choice to become ‘married’ and to deepen in Sacred Union really gave me the gift of a longtime wish I had inside to marry HIM specifically. The fulfillment of a dream, truly. And I couldn’t have asked for a better man to have been my first true, deep, resonant love.

It’s been about a month now of process within myself while taking space from the relationship and altogether separating from Gabriel. I’ve been feeling what the tendrils were that parts of me had with him and so much of that is still unfolding.

It’s been very tender and raw to feel, but it’s time to complete our marriage, our coupleship, our 6 year cycle of going IN together in different ways, always wondering about being together romantically, ‘completing’ romantic phases without them feeling really complete. Now it feels like the romance actually IS complete. I’m realizing and letting in that the ground we’ve had together, though made and built upon with SO much deep resonance and goodness on ALL levels, is a ground that isn’t nourishing in the deeper ways we both would need for it to continue, the way I need it to be to continue…. I’m seeing how in our time spent apart recently, I’ve had more self-discoveries happen inside of myself than I did in much of our romance together, at a new depth that I had forgotten in some ways was possible and also needed personally.

You can imagine how profound and emotional this whole process of letting go of this relationship has been for my heart and soul. So many of you have taken in videos, writings, live streams with us co-leading and I’m still so grateful I got to do that with him. We even recently led a few in-person meditation circles here in Victoria and that was alive and nurturing too, a new taste of my own leadership and my leadership with a mate too (another lifelong dream of mine that still remains and likely always will). I’ve been really feeling it and really letting in the mega timeline shift this has been and how needed this is right now through the tears, the mourning, the frustrations and even the resentments towards him that surface sometimes in parts/Metasoul aspects of mine.

In this whole process I’ve felt wrecked, hopeful, despairing, and then newly alive as I feel some emerging possibilities for myself outside of our bond in service, in personal healing, in future possibilities for my life in all areas. I’ve felt parts of me that don’t want to leave this relationship or complete it, and then felt ME coming up in a new way to be with what’s real and to feel what really does need to complete here for my sake and his. It’s time to come home to ME in a new way…

There’s nothing in me that doesn’t want to be connected to Gabriel somehow… and we both know so well the ground of sacred friendship that we can and DO have together. In some ways, these transaction grounds on a friendship level are just easier for us with so many gaps between us in life and soul experience that just aren’t as bridgeable in a romance as parts of me were hoping they would be.

The promise of Sacred Union is that you will grow… not that you will stay together romantically forever, especially if the bond cannot be kept alive and lively, renewing and rebooting. This has been our experience in the last 6 years of knowing each other and being together in different ways for different phases, and it feels like this last phase of romantic exploration HAS been the deepest we could go in this lifetime while in Sacred Union together.

I knew when we got married recently, that this was a step I needed and wanted to take with him, no matter how long it would last. In a sense it actually feels like we’ve been married for as many as 10 years, let alone just a few months, especially with all of the new realizations coming through that could only really be coming through because of the ground and history I’ve experienced with him. My process is calling me to keep moving forward and onward, as sad as it still feels to be moving on without him by my side…

I so welcome any questions or comments you may have…

Much love to you all… thank you for being a Sacred part of our journey.

****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s Facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, emoto-spiritual teacher, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess. 

Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

You Will Rise: A Poem For Life’s Changes, Especially When Led By You

By Kalayna Solais

Withered petals

Punctured leaves

Evidence of weathered growth

In soils not fit for your inner garden.

Drained of life force

The life you’ve led

Now taxes the nutrients

That once flowed

To all aspects of your BEing.

To transplant your beautiful Self

To flower once more

And MORE

Brings sometimes dark processes

And NEW ways to relate

To what was once ‘good’

Yet now isn’t enough.

Yet…

All anguish of the unknown

Soon moves into certainty

Courage

And strength

To keep planting in new soils

Until the one that most nurtures

Heart, body and soul

Is the one you’re planted in.

You will rise…

When the darkness feels

As if it never leads to light.

When the tunnel is tight

And the way through is foggy.

The sun rises still

The moon rises too.

There are beacons

And lighthouses

Offering a way

Offering an ‘other side’

As your boat is rowed

Through the din of the old

Letting go.

You will rise

And rise again.

You will arise anew

From the YOU you once knew.

And you will find new ways

To make it through

Moving into

What is truly

Most sincerely

Aligned with YOU. ❤

~

For more info on sessions with me or another SoulFullHeart Facilitator, I invite you from my own ever-shifting and evolving heart and soul to check out: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions ❤

Love,

Kalayna

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.