Premise 14: Non-codependent, monogamous romance offers growth and nourishment

By Raphael Awen

premise-14Welcome to day 14 of the 21 day ‘SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour.’ Up for today is the ‘SoulFullHeart Romantic Union Premise’ and it promises good things. Please read my writings on the other premises here. 

We’re touring what we call the foundational premises that underly the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. None of it is absolute truth and all of it is ‘made up.’ And because it’s made up, we feel it’s really important to be clear about what we’ve made up, so you can decide if this path is for you or not.

But, may I ask, ‘What spiritual path or healing modality do you know of that isn’t made up?’ Well, they all are, aren’t they? However, many of them won’t admit it and take responsibility for their creation and instead hide behind some form of ‘God revealed this to us’ while denying their part in the interpretation and delivery of the message. SoulFullHeart is grounded in human perception, experience and trial and error, and that we feel is what makes it a healthy path.

Every consciousness awakening path or healing modality are like a parallel dimension to each other. Once you commit, when and while you commit, you enter that dimension for all that it has to offer, to the exclusion of the others to the degree you choose a particular path.

Many people have done this unconsciously and are now demanding the means to do it consciously, requiring transparency and accountability on the part of the paradigm or path they embrace, and from the people within participating in it, knowing the far reaching effects of their choice. In other words, they want the premises.

SoulFullHeart can best be described as an unique parallel dimension where how you experience life changes on a deep fundamental level. Not only does your experience of life change, but who is doing the experiencing of life undergoes many ongoing changes. Many of these changes can be likened to manageable, self loving and timely breakdowns where the way of life and process opens out into moments of sudden deep shifts or movements in the depths of your being.

One of the biggest areas this can open out is into sacred romantic union. Here is today’s premise.

“SoulFullHeart romantic union offers both a nourishing relational ground and a challenging crucible for growth through two people monogamously committed to ever deepening heart, soul, and body resonance by processing the relationship through the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.”

If there is one area of life that I particularly feel this ‘parallel dimension’ reality of SoulFullHeart, it’s in the totally unexplainable reality that I have with my beloved Jelelle Awen. But isn’t that what romance was meant to do, to leave us stuck for explanation?

It can be fun trying to explain, and at moments there are arising metaphors and clarities that find a mark, but mostly, it is an energetic frequency of heart, soul, and body relationality and resonance that ultimately defies attempts at description.

There’s a few things I can say about it though.

One is that when you make romantic relationship more about your growth than your comfort zone, that alone changes so much. It is in the rigours of romance where our deepest risks and needs for love surface. It is in this crucible that much of our deepest heart and soul growth occurs.

Another piece is that what your heart really wants and needs in terms of nourishment and the quality of that nourishment vulnerably increases as you deepen in romance. This is scary for us to increase our needs, rather than decrease them, without being ‘needy,’ as you grow.

Possibly the biggest challenge in romance is to let go of a partner who simply doesn’t serve your heart and soul growth, who isn’t enough for you. Holding out for what you really need and want takes deep courage and self love, as well as true love for the other you are saying no to.

We also feel that none of this goes anywhere unless it’s in monogamy. Until, you are ‘all in’, you simply are running away from love in one form or another, quite possibly claiming a whole bunch of toxicity as a justification, even spiritual unconditional love ideas to hold it together. You simply cannot know loves power and alchemy romantically by hedging your bets and spreading the risk.

A central piece in SoulFullHeart’s navigation in romantic bonds is feeling how differently each of our parts or subpersonalities relate to the relationship. Particularly crippling to our soul and heart growth is seeing yourself as one unified personality in the relationship. Most people accept some mask of relationality that is actually a blend and a neutering of two or more polarized energies inside of themselves. This can never lead to real intimacy, passion or the trust needed for deeper vulnerability. For more on this critical piece, please see our article on Subpersonalities here:…

Romance is a fire, and SoulFullHeart offers a fireplace for that fire with a definition of what real and healthy Sacred Union is. Without a measure of what healthy relationship looks and feels like, we are left to have anything but.

Thank you again for being on this premises tour. I welcome your inquiry if you would like to enter this parallel dimension deeper. Our sessions page is here and it’s the doorway into the more that we offer:

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information.