The Deep Human Fear Of Intimacy

by Kalayna Solais

One of the deepest fears of humanity seems to be intimacy. Relationships that deepen. These relationships are not just romantic either, though that is one of the most challenging grounds in which to work this fear. This also includes beloved friends, colleagues, the Divine… and yourself.

How intimate are you with yourself or parts of you? How intimate do you feel you are with the Divine and with others around you?

3D conditioning has created a block, a defense against intimacy. It reminds our soul too much of Oneness and our decision to separate in order to experience life here and learn through it, grow because of it, and rejoin into Oneness when it’s time to do so. It brings us back to the love we once trusted that somehow 3D life has taught us either doesn’t exist or it takes too much work to earn it.

To be intimate, starting with ourselves, is our birthright and the journey we came here to inhabit. It is the wellspring of Self Love which overflows the love that then is shared with others.

To be intimate also means being vulnerable. Being vulnerable is also scary for parts of you because of your conditioning that it somehow isn’t ok to not be ok.

And… to be vulnerable means to make space to feel and share love. It doesn’t just mean sharing your pain, it means sharing your tears of joy too, your celebration of others and yourself, your gratitude for the Divine and Its ever-loving support.

To be truly intimate with Self and others really offers us all a deepening journey of feeling every line of defense within and every case made by parts of us to keep guarding those defenses and keep them in place. To actually go inward and feel the fears is the deepest gift to offer these parts as they trust your space-holding more. They and you begin to feel naked to your own truths and bake in these opportunities for rebirth.

To begin to open your heart again after all you’ve walked out in THIS life let alone other lives, is no small feat and uncovers no small fears along the way. Yet with every tear of pain or joy or relief or anguish undoes the lock to another layer of who you’ve been and had to be until now and who parts of you have had to become in order to preserve the precious depths within you and within themselves too.

It is a deep passion of mine and my beloveds to support your unlocking and unfolding of all of these pieces… sessions with any of us are available for you and we would love to serve you:soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions ❤️

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

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Beltane Blessings & Celebrations Of Love & Healing

By Kalayna Solais

Happy Beltane to you ALL… this day is a day to begin anew, to remember what you are worth as man or woman, to be in the ache of your springtime renewal inside, that wants and waits to share and BE with a mate that loves and cherishes you as much as you do… and cherishes themselves too. The Beltane fire helps us to burn away the old, the rigid, the now stale old harnesses of the ‘past’. Being with parts of you who have reactions to this process is important on this and every day…

This poem I composed two years ago and it still stands as one of my deepest, as my soul so knows Beltane from many sides of it and many roles within it. I feel personal themes emerging this year of letting in the bigness of this soul within me that knows how to gestate in inner healing processes and celebrate the emergence of a new sense of my bigness and desire to serve.

I dedicate this poem and all of the frequencies within it this year to my beloved husband/mate Gabriel Solais with whom I share my heart, body and soul and many exquisite layers of each, and I dedicate it to my beloved Inner Masculine too, who has been and always will be an inner rock for my feminine parts to lean into. ❤

I dedicate it to YOU as well, seeker of heart and soul, that you’ll find what’s next for you on your sacred path becoming revealed to you on a deeper level, whether wrapped in self-mateship or mateship with an other.

~

This Beltane Call, For The Love Of US

by Kalayna Solais

Beloved that you are,

When the smoke clears

on life’s regulating ways

and gives way to the undulating meadows

of new love’s first spring,

there I’ll be

standing in the light

of the sun shining above me,

firm in the ground I walk on

yet lightly walking toward your ready stance,

singing a song

we will both remember.

In Beltane’s past, my love

we dined and danced

and brought together our intertwining

everythings

to mingle in the love light

of the divine masculine and feminine dawnings.

In Beltane’s new arrivals, love

we’ll linger long

in embraces for only us to feel

in the eye of the mind’s connection

until the refreshing breath

of a crisp and ripe chapter

brings us closer

in all elements of this life’s wanderings.

In myself I stay here for you, love

finding more treasure long buried

to show you

in vulnerable ownership

echoing the also deep claim

you have inside of you for you.

The winds of change

and graspings of renewing tides

grip at our thrown-about clothing

to move us closer

to the edges

that keep US alive…

Together we will meet, my beloved

and there we will find

what we have been searching for…

a counterpart

not to bind, but to bond

not to cling, but to sing

not stifle with duty

but to bring out with bounding life’s alterations and celebrations…

of each new movement

here…

Bring your mountains out to greet the new day, love

and see the power of our sunshines mingling

on a new insatiable appetite

of a love reunited

in a way that was agreed to

long ago and yet NOW too.

Even NOW I make a vow to you,

to be all the more loyal to myself

and dedicate overflow to you

to what we will create together

in our messy masses of alchemical baths

and swooning passes.

Love, when we do meet again

here

I will dress the moon in your honor

and harness the sun’s rays for your Kingdom to come

and our world that is being reborn…

On this Beltane celebration day,

As I ache for you

I prepare that place in my heart

that is you-shaped

where you already live…

and that place in my body’s life

where your essence will connect

so much

oh, so much…

with mine.

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Death/Rebirth, Relationship Shiftings And New Alignments From Within: Personal Update From Raphael and Jelelle

By Jelelle Awen

Raphael shares vulnerably below his recent death/rebirth process that entwines and connects to mine and our ‘usness’ together too as we separated during it. This latest phase of our journey together has brought me so much into my own heart space, into tender holding with parts of myself and multiple metasoul aspects as well….at one point working with four different timelines at once! I could feel and focus on myself as a woman/queen/mate/healer, etc. and even with the times of immense grief and sadness coming up….so feel the core of self love and goodness and trust that is THERE inside for me always to lean into after all these years of parts/metasoul work and deep connection with the Divine.

I am amazed (yet somehow also not suprised?) as the timeline shifts again to realign us all together in community again. I certainly felt during this time of separation from Raphael, the trailing edge and karmic frequencies of our bond together, manifesting this life and other lifetimes/timelines too. I fully went into owning and feeling my side of the sometimes contentious energies between us. I learned and continue to learn so much! This is deep work to we have signed up to continue to do together, as so many counterpart soul mates have too!

I have been so amazed at how the SoulFullHeart process itself has so been there for me through the grief, the pain, the letting go, the realizations….all of it and then some…and I am amazed at how Raphael is moving through what he is too as he leans into it more as well.

With this shifting, we are feeling to remain rooted/grounded/based here in Victoria BC with plans to travel to Europe in the fall to scout out future retreat/group session places there too. It just feels like I want it ‘all’ honestly…the rooted/grounded heart home with my beloveds and the adventure/activation of travel into these ancient places and eventually hold groups/retreats there too.

My heart feels relieved and lighter too as the Divine seems to be gifting me with exactly what I want and need as I was so willing to let it all go (as seems to be the process honestly). Timelines really are collapsing and re-emerging SO FAST these days!

Thank you all of your sweet support during this time!
love,
Jelelle Awen

~

By Raphael Awen

I am so glad and relieved to be on the other side of what has felt like my deepest dark night experience this life to have opened out a deeply profound and meaningful reconnection with my beloveds after a long feared relationship meltdown.

I wanted to update those of you who have held myself, Jelelle, Gabriel, Kalayna and Raianna and our growing community in your heart.

I can’t hardly describe to you the death and rebirth process, the dark night of the soul process that is now opening out to love and life. It’s like the karmic shadow bill came due quite suddenly on what was underneath my relationship with Jelelle and by extension; inseparable relationship with SoulFullHeart and its community.

Really letting go of being in romance with Jelelle brought up, pretty quick after what felt like a treasured phase of deep and real appreciations, being faced with my own buried resentments based in real dynamics in our bond (as Peter Gabriel says ‘the seeds of my undoing that had been there from the start’), but so amplified by Metasoul realities that have been a long time in wanting to be felt and owned by me. The ripening projections of what was not reconciled me-to-me all but made it impossible to really feel and process any of those resentments, reactions between us that had been placed down under to protect a goodness and bounty where on one level, I always felt like I was in a permanent honeymoon phase with Jelelle, and by extension with our growing community. Maybe some of the cognitive dissonance of ‘this is all too good to be true’ had to do with this unreconciled shadow that always threatened to undermine the goodness. Gabriel and Kalayna can certainly speak to the rumblings that would come out of the woodwork at times between Jelelle and I.

This week, I found and connected with a Metasoul, whose name is Pillar (pronounced Pee-lar), whose timeline is the fall of Atlantis, who knew deep romance with his beloved Charee, (pronounced Kah-ree), and love within community, a ‘haven within a haven’ as he called it, but lost it all when he spoke to what he felt was the unowned shadow within the group. We felt and digested his devastating experience with being shunned, and losing it all, and the blame and shame, and all the after-the-game quarterbacking about what could have been different had he done things differently, particularly with more vulnerability. He also felt the words famously quoted from the Bhagavad Gita, by Robert Oppenheimer, the man credited with inventing the atomic bomb; “I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.”

Pillar and others in my parts and Metasoul have also deeply felt this theme of their truth being the torpedo of all that was good. My this-life history of leaving Christianity and the loss around that, as well as later losing the group that Jelelle and I met in, after being kicked out, so amplified these themes in my Metasoul, coming back to haunt me once again. I so get what people are speaking to when they mention their or someone’s ‘Inner Demons’, but see it as aspects of our soul awaiting our open heart to digest what they need to move their trauma, and afford us the overflow from their movement.

Pillar had the opportunity this week, being held in my heart, to feel me sort through, my own agony of feeling a future without beloveds, without SoulFullHeart, and then to make new choices and vulnerable reconnections. It began while staring down an insanity, seeking the handrails of goodwill and decency being restored here in the house we share, which was really rumbled the day before I moved downstairs to the basement suite, where part of me got vulgar in words towards Kalayna (the real low point). Gabriel’s subsequent help with daily checkins and space holding for Pillar recently helped things move through the birth canal. Each step brought new openings, and yesterday, after not seeing Jelelle for 2 weeks, and having limited contact with our community here, we met together as a group for some very precious words and tears together, and I was welcomed back into their hearts and my familiar treasured community.

Imagining a future of starting over in seeking a new community, a service of love expression within that and future romance possibilities looked and felt so hard, when my truth doesn’t resonate with any other known offerings that are out there, leaving me some hard road of beginning from the ground up, based in and on unresolved resentments, and ‘I’ll show them’, did not feel like a path I or any of my parts really wanted to embark on.

Well, that’s the short version of all this, which I hope to expand out into a new lived in reality on the other side of a huge compartment in my heart and soul and relationality now being integrated.

Jelelle even said to me at one point while we had a moment yesterday, ‘you never know what’s going to arise between us’, and my heart swooned, all the while knowing that time and space for integration and new discovery, new ways of being are also needed. I can tell you, with some trepidation, that it remains my (now, not-so secret) hope, that what does arise between us flowers naturally back into romance, but if it doesn’t, I really do trust that what arises can be and will be even better. I truly died to what was between us, and even SoulFullHeart, and am sooo grateful to be emerging back from the dead.

Parts of me are seeking guarantees from the Divine that there isn’t any more dark nights that will need to be this difficult. I trust that the fusion and pain was all necessary, though I really do hope to never again suppress anything on this magnitude, as it just hurts way too much. In that way, I can be the answer to the above prayer.

Thank you to all of you here who have ached for me, letting your heart be broken with mine, and rooting for me and loving me. I couldn’t have done it without you.

Much love and anticipation for the good that wants to come for us all, even through the shadow,

Raphael, xoxo

Higher Timeline Illuminations Happening For ALL Relationships

by Kalayna Solais

‘Old’ timelines are destabilizing now. What isn’t a part of your higher timeline is being shaken up for you to look at and come to terms with somehow. This could be your relationship to different birth family members, friends, romantic partners, or everyone you’ve related with in some way, including yourself.

Parts of you may be becoming agitated at this time, wanting to feel better again and like life can go back to the way it was before, yet the feeling I get right now is that some sort of energetic earthquake has been moving through and continues to move through, encouraging the unraveling of what has been to reveal what could or will be. As always, there are choices to make about which direction to go in, if you feel ready enough to take your next steps into your higher timeline which affects the health of all of your ‘bodies’: emotional, physical, spiritual, etc.

This shaking up of old timelines is not meant to bring suffering, though parts of you may be experiencing it this way. This is actually love waking you up to what has NOT been love, or at least what has not been ENOUGH love. It’s as good a time as any right now to realize that the ‘love’ that parts of you have held dear between yourself and others may not actually be enough when it comes to the deeper longing for love transaction you have inside. You may have cultivated much more self-love lately than ever before and this is catapulting you into a new timeline where this self-love overflow gets to transact more fully and nourishingly with others.

Long-established relationships of all kinds are especially being backlit right now in this way… what has been long-established may still bring enough nourishment if you and they can move together into a shared higher timeline, yet this isn’t always the case and right now this could be the deepest pain to feel as the letting go process is let in. Ultimately, every single person and being (animals included) in your life has sovereignty and a timeline for themselves that they get to choose somehow, consciously or unconsciously. There is nothing you can really do to shift this for them, as this is up to them. My sense is that even animals get to have their choice about whether or not they will ascend alongside their human companions.

The ‘3’ symbol being presented today and all month I can see now is a fork in the road… you have an array of choices, as does every being in your life as you’ve known it. Your parts have choices too, that they get to make along with you as you bring them along on your next trajectory.

I feel how this is a lot to digest and has a deep rumble to it… I feel how my own choices are arriving at my doorstep personally, how it’s always ultimately a choice of becoming our biggest, brightest soul selves or continuing to avoid making that choice and taking those steps. No matter what, the love we are all offered from the Divine is ever-present and supportive… understanding in a way that goes beyond ideas of unconditional love. The Divine wants to offer this love to you and parts of you as you feel all of this through and lean in to the trust that is being invited of you in each moment of ache, of desire, of deep deep learning and process.

This guided meditation from Jelelle Awen may help you tap into and feel your higher timeline possibilities and offer support for you at this time:

Much love to you through all of the rumbles… and if you feel drawn to ask for support, my beloveds and I can help you bridge to your higher timeline and process everything you need to process to step into it more and more: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 30 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Sacred Romance; Sacred Ceremony

Wow.

What a magical day it was yesterday. The weather could not have been more ideal (well, maybe a tad warmer, but not complaining!). Jelelle and my daughter Raianna wove a stunning tapestry of love for the ceremony with decor and an altar in honor of our Usness. Jelelle’s holding of the space was truly beyond words. Her words invited depth and spirit and could feel the multitude of being and lifetimes in the room with us.

Kalayna was just stunning in her dress and radiated and glowed with the love she came into this world with. I felt rather dapper in my thrift store finds (in full disclosure). We carried the love to the ocean where we felt The Divine grace us with jubilance and fanfare. Raphael spoke eloquently of feeling the mourning as well as the celebration which lets in the poignancy of the sacred moment. We commit ourselves not to its length but to its depth.

We were joined by a new friend to our intimate circle, Annie, as a heart and soul presence that so sweetly took in and reflected our love. Raianna brought us to tears with her words and guitar playing.

We are so blessed with everyone’s love and well-wishes in this new phase in our growth and service of love. We look forward to serving its overflow to the individual and the collective.

Much love back at you all,

Gabriel & Kalayna Solais (pronounced So-lay-is)

It is pronounced Solish in Irish/Scottish but we felt to be phonetic as it is easier. It means light and soul.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Sacred Union Wedding Celebration

by Kalayna Solais

These are the posts I made for the day before, the morning of, and the day after Gabriel and I wed on March 9, 2019. A day with MUCH ‘3’ energy! It was a powerful and poignant day, celebrating cycles of life and the ongoing death and rebirth of all relationship grounds, romantic and otherwise.

Here are the posts with their dates! ❤

~ March 8, 2019 ~

Tomorrow we marry…
Declaring love and desire for depths
Yet untraveled 
Between us.

Beloved Gabriel! 
Joining my soul
Heart and body
With yours 
in this deepening way
Inspires
And drives it all home deeper
That this is what I’ve truly wanted
Earned
And worked for!

I love you! 
And the journey here has been worth every tear… ❤️

~~~

Face-squish snuggles,

melting touches,

roll between bedsheets

of softness,

bellowing and beckoning

heartbeams of sunshine and goodness

among the sticky-hot sweetness.

My head catches up

to my heart’s warmth and wonder

at how we two

so different,

so alike,

came together

to move together as one

yet two

all over again…

Lover of my heart, soul and body,

cherisher of that which I cherish,

my everything claims this,

our space of phases

and movements together,

no matter the length and breadth

of roads we travel side by side.

The light I love in you

holds a lighthouse lamp shining

for the leadership of yours

next to the shining brightness

of my own.

From here we gaze inward,

toward ourselves and each other,

belly-laughing,

dog-sandwich, morning-bed cuddling,

sweet sunset kissing,

and daylight collaborating…

This bridge between us

made of much,

holds the truths of which

we will uncover

as we each agree to the next MORE…

and our flow of love

cascades onward

as we walk hand-in-hand,

together. ❤

~ March 9, 2019 ~

Preparing for this wedding today in ways that honour my heart and parts but also honour the heart and parts of everyone coming, witnessing, feeling us in our next chapter together. This is another cycle of death and rebirth today as much as it is also a celebration of a new beginning unfolding.

I feel a poignancy in my heart today… and amazing to add, as I sit in this nearby coffee shop sipping a morning Matcha latte with my parts in my heart, the song ‘Landslide’ just came on… 💕

I feel a peace and love in my heart yet also the soft rumble of what’s to come… which is largely unknown yet the crucible of growth is real in relationships, no matter how spiritually conscious they are.

The hum of life and love continues to drone on. The invitation into deeper surrender to every twist, turn, arising and unfolding of the path before me and us is very real and sitting across from me in this coffee shop. Every face of the Great Mother and Father too is here in celebration and deep reminder of the next and next moments of deepening growth and healing to come. For myself, for Gabriel, and for all who witness our Union today.

We will share digestions and photographs with all of you later. ❤️

Thank you SO much for ALL of the love, blessings, and well wishes yesterday and always. You are all in our hearts…

Much, much love!

~ March 10, 2019 ~

I am nothing but blown away.

This man has no wallet worth a million dollars
But a heart worth a million kisses
And a soul worth a million explorations
… and then some!

Our day yesterday was magical, wonderful, poignant. It held the reality of beginnings and endings, that one ground has to give way to another eventually in the name of growth, healing, and service. That ‘forever’ on a soul level is one layer infinitely present, yet ‘forever’ on a personal level in this lifetime and others, cannot be promised or granted.

Every single moment of ‘together’ is a treasure. Every single wave of NEW is a gift. Every single ground of exploration is sacred… together and individually.

I love this man, my community here, our greater community of all of you taking this and us and our service of love in, and I look forward to the many expressions of our mutual growth, reflections, and above all, the deepening LOVE shared among us! ❤️

With big big love for all of you! Thank you for the well wishes!

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Loving Others Is A Sacred Opportunity

by Kalayna Colibri

Loving others isn’t a mandate. It’s not something we are required to do. Nothing can magically force us to love each other… and the truth is, we actually can’t fully love each other until we have love overflowing from within.

Loving others, then, is a byproduct. It’s something we will organically feel flowing between us the more we love ourselves.

Loving ourselves is not a mandate either… but an open and constant invitation that we can choose to accept and journey into, or choose to walk away from.

There are many ways we can learn to love ourselves so we can love others deeper with more genuine appreciation and respect, even reverence. One way is to be with and love deeply ALL parts of you. There are so many in there, waking up and wanting love. They may have some funny ways of asking for love, such as through self-ridicule, criticism, depression, or anxiety… but they want love just the same.

If you can learn to love them, in everything they are, you WILL come to love yourself… and then, in this same frequency and consistency, you WILL come to love others in ways never taught or imagined before, even when the relationship ground can’t transact or find mutual nourishment and you need to love them with healthy boundaries in place.

Even though the path to deeply loving myself is challenging sometimes, I have always found it so worth it… it’s worth all that you’re asked to feel by and with love… it’s worth looking at the darker parts or the ones that can express with darkness where they don’t care or have much compassion for others or, firstly, for themselves. It’s worth it, because in my experience, the possibility of transacting and being IN deep love with others who are also on this journey is incredible. Unreal! Nourishing beyond what you’ve thought of as nourishing. Every time my heart opens more to myself, I feel it open more towards others. And that feels much better than any past efforts made to falsely love others or love them only for what I or parts of me could get from them.

Such is the depth of healing possible. Such is the way of true and real love. And these are the possibilities for deeper unity and love transaction in our Sacred Human family. ❤️

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Love Within To Love With Other: SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter (Feb 11, 2019)

It’s the release of our weekly Museletter! Offering ALL of our writings, videos, events, healing offerings, and audio blogs for the week. Go read it here!

Happy Valentine’s Day! This week’s Museletter features a piece by SoulFullHeart Facilitant, Raianna Shai. She acknowledges all of the different reactions you and parts of you may have felt to Valentine’s Day and invites you into a deeper self-love space as you feel and hold these different reactions and responses:

“I think most of us have been in almost every stage on Valentine’s Day in our lives. I know I have….but if I’ve noticed anything this year, it’s that it all comes back to YOU! You are the only one responsible for your heart and how it loves. You have been given the gift of feeling all the ways in which parts of you feel unlovable and loving them anyway. Self love is not selfish. It teaches you how to truly love another and it shows others how you want to be loved.”

We have two upcoming events in March, taking place here in beautiful Victoria, BC!

On March 3rd from 1-3pm PST, join us for a meeting to experience a guided meditation and personal sharing afterwards! We will lead you in a powerful, high vibrational guided meditation to connect to your Higher Self. Your Higher Self is the aspect of your soul that vibrates in a higher vibrational frequency and is available for you to experience, get guidance from, and also embody more and more.

Raphael and Jelelle Awen will be facilitating an in-person group session on March 10th from 10:00am to 5:00pm PST in Victoria for $111 CAD minimum donation. The group session offers resonant soul community, individual process digestion space, and high vibration connections.

Many new articles and audio blogs have arrived this week from Jelelle and Raphael Awen, Gabriel Heartman, and Kalayna Colibri. They cover different topics related to Valentine’s Day and how you’re invited to digest it and relate to it, plus some energy updates and many invitations into new ways to feel your parts and your ongoing healing and awakening process. Also, it was Raianna Shai’s birthday this past week! Happy Birthday Raianna!

Raphael, Jelelle, Gabriel, and Kalayna (Kalayna is available to serve women 25 and under) offer 1:1 90min Bridging Sessions to help boost and digest your Ascension process and feel with you what your next steps are towards your highest timeline possibilities. These sessions are available for $55 USD minimum donation per session. More information can be found here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

We love to share our offerings with you and would enjoy receiving whatever heart donation in the form of money you feel that resonates with our offerings. You can go to our donation page for more info on how to donate: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Way of Life! If you’d like to receive these Museletters directly and automatically in your email every week, you can subscribe on our website at: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/writingmuseletters

Check out the latest Museletter here.

The Poultice Of Love And The Fear Of Intimacy

Wow! What a response the last couple of days to our engagement. Thank you so much to everyone who left your well-wishes and congratulations.

One thing I took away from it all is that one way or another we all seek Love. Maybe there are parts that may feel despair, doubt, or indifference to it, but at our core we love Love. The only thing that gets similar reactions is anything based on Fear. So in some ways, we have parts that love Fear too. Yeah, I know, an oxymoron.

This is the sacred dance though. The two poles of our BEing that seem at odds but are just trying to reconcile each other. As we all continue to heal our Selves with Love and for the sake of Love, we enter a new relationship to Fear. Something shifts in the power structure. The deepening commitment and claim of this romance with Kalayna will certainly bring up another layer of this relationship to fear of intimacy. Deep transformational intimacy that takes us to the core of our deepest traumas and pains that can only surface from the poultice of Love.

So the collective response is saying to me, “YES! Keep going! Keep feeling the edges of this because I want this too!” or “YES! Bring more of this into the world as it adds to mine as well!”. Even if Kalayna and I don’t “make it” in the long run, we are committing ourselves to this deeper healing that has collective and personal consequences. “Success” is only determined if we feel everything we to feel and say everything we need to say while we are engaged in this marriage of Soul and Heart. We are bound by this in desire, not duty.

I feel to continue this exploration of marriage, intimacy, love, and fear through the heart of the Masculine. What is its relationship and desire to those very things? Right now it is about being centered in Heart while exploring the Soul in healing the parts of me still in shadow around intimacy with the Feminine. It is a sacred one that I accept with dedication and passion.

If you are a man or a woman with this rising desire in you, stay tuned for more. I am also available for sessions to support you along the journey of this sacred healing and letting in of Love. Thank you so much again for all the outpouring of support and love for us both. ❤

*****

Painting by Eduardo Rodriguez Calzado

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Thy Queen Hath Come!: A Healing Man’s Journey Of Love

My beloved Kalayna is going to be my wife!

Our hearts and souls have been married in this journey of Sacred Union for some time now. We began 6 years ago and in the ebbs and flows of romance and friendship, we have found ourselves in the deeper waters of claim and passion, ready for what comes next in our exploration of soul and service.

As a man, this was also about a deeper claim within myself to honor and engage The Feminine, as well as her feminine. It is also a communion of our masculines as Kalayna’s needed to trust my own in that claim. It has been a process for both of us and will continue to be.

More specifically, I am blessed and infinitely ecstatic to make this a more “official” declaration. It does more than just represent something. It intends. It intensifies. It clarifies. I am in love with a remarkable woman that has spent her life in pursuit of her biggest heart and passionate soul calling. She seeks with great courage the most authentic reflection of herself, even if that reflection is not so easily digested.

It is not through luck that we found each other, but a process of deep inner work and difficult choice points. We have been through several iterations that were no less sacred than the one we find ourselves in now. It is a Love Story. It is our story. We have had moments that were far from ideal and yet the heart and soul kept on. We have been through our suffering phases and now it is time for our Deepening.

To my beloved wife-to-be

You have been the queen, the muse, the one I couldn’t let in

You have traversed the waters and lands within

In search of your Higher Ground

In that space, you set your beacon

Your Love Light shine

The scent of your lavender soul

Wafting across the ocean of stars

Into the vulnerable and readied sails of my heart

I saw you, I see you, I need you

Like I never knew I needed you

I see me, what I am, what I can be

Through you

From you

This once-soldiered soul has found a home

A place to rest and share his heart

His love, His art, His Kingdome Come

Forever blessed, forever changed, forever in pursuit of You

I am honored to be your Husband and King

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.