By Wayne Vriend
The wonder of being a small child has been crowded out by what we learned (posessed) and replaced with duty, obligation and entitlement.
Wayne – Yeshua, Good Morning? Are your ears on?
Yeshua – Always on, my man.
W – I like it when you call me that…:)
Y – Good! What’s up, my man?
W – I’d like to ask you about learning.
Y – You never get enough do you? We talked about that already, didn’t we?
W – Yeah, but I forgot it all.
Y – Well, how am I supposed to learn you anything if you can’t remember?
W – The fun was in learning, and going ‘wow,’ so I figured if I forgot it all, then I could have fun relearning it. I got that from you actually. Forgetting shit is what leads to being re-membered.
Y – See that, you are learning.
W – Learning to know how to be in not knowing.
Y – And THAT is what tickets you into the theatre of real learning which is always and ever beholding wonder. Wonder by definition is not knowing. Canned knowledge, the kind that most peddle in schools, is learning stripped of wonder.
W – How do I get back to being in wonder, then? I know I suffer from the deadness you are referring to.
Y – Like any other learning, you hold the quest of the question, and see that you can never own or be entitled to any knowing, you can only and ever humbly be a partaker of the wonder, and temporarily at that.
W – Whoa…
Y – And realize that all knowledge is born of not knowing and eventually returns to being forgotten, which is to renunciate (for-get) ownership of the knowledge that was gotten.
W – Knowledge will cease…
Y – Yes, in order to let die what is dying and make way for new wonder.
W – So how do I apply that to say, my spanish studies, is what I’d like to know? By the way, Yeshua, I can so feel the part of me invested in this conversation who feels like a late teenager but is so wanting to learn and grow and make his life count.
Y – Hello to that part of you, Wayne. I recall him as Marvin, yes?
W – Yes, Marvin says ‘Hey Yeshua.’ I think I’ll just let him in on this conversation.
Y – Hey Marvin, I’m liking your desire to be in wonder.
Marvin – Thanks, Yeshua.
Y – What would you say about what we are talking about?
M – I’m feeling how the wonder of being a small child has been forgotten and crowded out by what we learned in school and how getting back to aliveness is about unlearning, not more learning, at least in the way we’ve related to learning.
Y – That says it in a really cool way. And it says how even the essence of childlike wonder is forgotten, but its imprint remains and calls to us.
M – Which is what I want to get back to.
M – Because it’s boring and dead to be removed from wonder.
Y – Here’s a secret, you don’t need to go back to anything. Nature doesn’t work that way.
M – Huh?
Y – You can get to where you want to be by going forward.
M – That sounds good, but how do I do that?
Y – The childlike wonder gave rise to canned knowledge and to adultlike duty and obligation and entitlement that crowded out the wonder, right?
M – Exactly.
Y – So duty,obligation, and entitlement killed the wonder. Feel the deadness of what you once treasured, how it feels so hopeless to ever return to wonder. That is being in the deadness, which is never dead as we think of it. Death is always alchemical and transmutational. The compost heap of yesterday’s knowledge wants to transmute into the rich and vital organic soil of new wonder.
M – Forgetting in order to be re-membered…
Y – …into never ending wonder
M – How does that relate to our spanish lessons then?
Y – Know that as you learn to speak any word or phrase in spanish, it is being given to you, entrusted, you cannot own it. You don’t actually own english. Owning is the entitled sense that you have english conquered, and thereby you killed the wonder of the experience. Instead feel how language is a collective energy of flowing, not static knowledge, that is given to those who will steward this energy. Get that down pat and you should be able to learn Spanish just fine.
M – But I need to let go of trying to capture the knowledge…
Y – Yes, that’s it. Instead seek to be the grandest host you can be for the knowledge, be a temporary steward of it in its never ending cycle of death and rebirth into more and more wonder. Knowing and not knowing.
M – But I still feel a lot of energy to possess the learning, nail it down, get ahead and all that stuff.
Y – Feel instead how learning wants to possess you. It wants to be hosted in you, animated by you. Learning and wonder can’t have its fun without you.
M – So sign up for letting wonder be reborn in me?
Y – Totally.
M – Thanks, Yeshua
Y – You’re so welcome. I so wait for the day that more folks get onto this phase of real learning. There’s so much more wonder aching to be born.
Wayne – Whoa, Marvin’s an energy all of his own. We were up late last night eating vegan chocolate ice cream and studying spanish, and then we got onto what is real learning and he wanted to talk this out with you. Between the chocolate and the excitement, it was hard getting to sleep. My head still hurts.
Y – I love that feeling of new desire leading and aching out what feels like birth contractions.
W – My aching head needs some more life space to integrate all this Yesh. I think I’ll break here.
Y – Yeah, learning is never ending and it needs life to be in it healthily.
W – Now you can’t stop.
Y – No I can’t. Wonder is so very cool. Thank you Wayne and Marvin for your desire to learn. Learning is all just desire, you know?
W – No, I don’t know, but I’ll save that for another day.
Y – Desire, set free from possessing.
W – Next day Yeshua, Okay.
Y – This is why we have cycles of days you know, to let in more wonder.
W – No I don’t know.
Y – Good!
In this blog series, Mission To Me Journal, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversations with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer Wayne’s process and digestions with Yeshua as he undergoes internal and external preparation to hit the road with his wife Jillian and Christopher Tydeman to explore and eventually settle in Mexico and/or Central America in October 2014 to offer service and conscious community. Read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher and Ending The Money Madness With Wayne And Yeshua for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.