W: Hello Father.
DF: Hello Wayne.
W: Father, I’m feeling a bit depressed actually and I’d like your help to feel what is here to feel.
DF: What is here to feel?
W: Well, I’ll tell you as much as I know. Yesterday was a bunch of different people in email, and all of them felt so disconnected to me in how they communicate with no reverence for relationship. It seems the facebook level of relating is where they’re at. That feels so depressing to me. Then there is feeling some tension about money. We started talking about budgeting the remains of our nest egg, which sounds more like that bad word of rationing. There feels like a tension in that, but also a longing to be more and more free of serving mammon, and of seeing the world through that false lens. That’s what I can feel of what’s on the surface, but underneath, I get a need that is surfacing is a desire to connect more and more with the soul aspect part of me, that I call my Daemon.
DF: Well, let’s look at all 3 of those together.
W: Thank you, I’d like that.
DF: When you chose the many times that you have to leave the collective ways of relating and the collective ways of being intimate with people, you put both a distance between you and them as well as made a pact with yourself and them that would serve them. As a soul, you knew you could not serve them in their journey to a deeper place without going there yourself, but in going there, you had to let go of the conscious relationship with them, knowing that remaining in bonds that were not alive would prevent you from going to the deeper place yourself. By exiting a dead relationship out of a desire for more, you actually entered a soul intimacy with the soul of that person. This often leaves you with a feeling of your needs going unmet, especially when people who seem to like something about you can’t communicate with any grounded desire or feelings. Is this going in for you, Wayne?
W: Yes, it’s going into my heart. I need to hear this from you today and whatever more you have to say about it.
DF: Okay, thanks for the welcome and the desire. So, I’d like for you to feel the sacred pact you have with every person you relate with. In choosing to live into your most authentic self, and following where that takes you, especially in regards to who is and who is no longer in your life, you set up a hearth in your heart for that soul. If they want to and when they are ready, and when it feels safe enough, they will let you serve them. On your part, it is a willingness to have nothing with them if you can’t have everything with them. However, it really isn’t ending up with nothing, even if there isn’t a reconnection with the person.
W: I feel my heart expanding as you’re talking, and the depression lifting. I feel you energizing a hearth in your heart towards me. Can you say more about how it isn’t having nothing?
DF: Sure, let’s feel all we can about that. First, what comes is that remaining in a dead bond with anyone is co-signing and medicating each others’ mutual stuckness in life. It is using another in the most profound sense, that isn’t actually lessened by the mutuality of it. It is a willingness both to harm and to be harmed. On a soul level, there is no greater offense to love. However, becoming conscious of this dynamic in relationship and choosing to end it, is giving a great gift to yourself and the other. On a soul level, you received the opportunity to give your deepest gifts to an other, and in turn to all others. What it cost you to make that choice and to live in the vacancy of that choice is what makes the gift so incredibly valuable. The value of this gift you are the rightful first partaker of, because you can only give what you have received and what is yours to give. On a soul level, Wayne, this is learning what you came here to learn and fulfillment on a level that cannot be higher.
W: Father, I’m agreeing with what you are saying and I feel it touching me deeply, but I need to ask why then do I come up against a depressed energy in myself?
DF: In your choice of words, Wayne, I feel an expectation that there shouldn’t be any coming up against something. The present state of relationships is profoundly depressing. To be around it in other people and to receive their words and communications, especially in email, is an off gassing on their part trying to find some relief from the pain they live in, but seek to sidestep. On a soul level, that is a big fuck you to your soul. Their soul knows what your soul has chosen and has marked you as both unsafe and a target in many cases. This facebook level of communication may seem so innocuous and disconnected, but it is in fact has a whole lot more going on that meets the eye. If your awareness of this dims, it will manifest as a backpressure of depression. Some of the depression is a result of the disowned depression in others you are communicating with, and some is feeling the depression of seeing your life from the extremely limiting mundane lens where your being looks insignificant and meaningless. This depression however is a clarion call to come back to feel this on a soul level.
W: My goodness, you answer a question with such a world expanding reply, that I’m not quite sure where to go next. I think what sticks out for me though is the ‘fuck you to my soul’ thing you mentioned. Why would I want to be in a love pact like you said earlier with people kicking and kicking hard at me?
DF: I knew you’d ask for more on that. I’m glad you did actually, because it gets to the heart of something, and in that heart is a hearth that touches and nourishes deeply, it enables you to keep going with joy. The soul essence of the human being is where the deepest love and the deepest hurts are to be had. Serving souls in a love pact is what effectively neutralizes all harm that a soul is putting out. You’re only showing up for the good part, and the harm part falls back on them, calling to them to find their courage to heal, and to choose. You just need to know what comes with the territory and keep your healthy boundaries. Your yes and no are what keeps the good in and bad out.
W: I like that.
DF: I thought you would. And it feels like we covered all 3 things you started out with?
W: We did.
DF: …and how so for you?
W: Well, we opened up wide a deep soul perspective on real relationships. That in turn addresses the money anxiety in that my needs are met by giving the deepest gifts I have in the world, rather than trying to pawn myself off as a house painter, which is what it would amount to going forward for me now. Earning money in the old way I did for so many years actually isn’t very secure at all as it isn’t connected to my deepest and present gifts. And the third thing I was asking for help on was a deeper connection with my daemon, and I so felt you watering him and I feel him taking in deeply all of your words and what feels like a deep desire on his part to live into these soul realities as my daily conscious realities from which my feeling states and awareness arise.
DF: Anything else I can help you with?
W: Not till tomorrow I’m afraid, you nailed it.
DF: Great, and would you be willing to stay on the line for a short survey about the service today?
DF: Isn’t it fun only having yourself to report to?
W: …as well as the whole world to report to?
DF: Totally. Tomorrow then?
W: Yes. Thank you, Father.
W: You are so welcome.