Premise 17: You have a mind, you are not your mind

By Raphael Awen


Welcome to day 17 of the 21 day SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises tour.

I’m not quite sure if I should be out writing today, feeling not quite all here mentally, but in a way that feels really good. The stranger part is that today’s premise is called the ‘Beyond Mental Premise.’ How fitting.

Let’s see where we end up and as long as I have a few designated drivers just in case. And no, it’s not about a drug-induced high. 🙂

Today’s premise goes like this:

“We have a mind; we are not our mind.”

The very term mental illness is grounded in our collective mental illness. It’s the minds way of trying to reconcile a world without feeling. The mind needs to be grounded in feeling, but alone it can never get there. Without feeling, the mind goes nuts. Then it goes to insane lengths to reconcile a world void of feeling. People that are recognized as functional and well adapted people are essentially people who are at present reconciled to their mental illness with a societally accepted and ‘co-signed’ mortgage on their true sanity.

You have a mind, but you are not your mind.

Most people cannot fathom the essence behind these words. The mind is so in the forefront of navigating life and has been for so long, that parts of us have no other sense of identity or reality apart from the domain of the mind.

Who you are and what you are is so much more than the computer that is doing your 5 sense calculations for you. You may claim to believe what I am saying and agree deeply. But this alone doesn’t mean you live outside of the almost total mental domination and control of the mind.

Belief is a function completely of the mind.

Feeling is the function of the heart. The heart has ways and means the mind knows nothing about. An easy test to see if something is a feeling vs. a belief is to see where the tears are. You may pat your heart while you speak your beliefs, but without movement expressed in tears and vulnerability, you are still squarely in mental territory. Another easy test to see what’s of the mind vs. the heart is to feel where someone’s words do not match their energy.

The smiling clerk asking to help you is usually so dragged out in anxiety and the toxic corporate environment they work in that the offer to help is something most of us tend to instinctually avoid or at least manage carefully as we engage. The energy doesn’t match the words. We’ve become so accustomed to this however that we are truly surprised to find and feel the unmistakable difference of when someone’s words and energy actually do match. We want to make them our new best friend. Jelelle and I experience this often as our energy does match our words, at least as far as we can feel.

Truly living from the heart is so shut down in our conditioning, in how we were raised and in our collective agreements about what relationality is, that access to the heart is almost all but completely sealed off.

This dire view of relationality as it exists now is a bedrock premise of SoulFullHeart’s offer. If it is too negative for you or bleak, I can simply say that this work wouldn’t be for you. We are not in any way about finding positive thinking solutions or spiritual ‘love and light’ practices or outlooks to bridge this deep ache and gap in what it feels like to be a human being on the planet at this time in our collective evolution.

Facing into this stark picture of where we are at without any denial mechanism to lessen it is the only grounded place from which one could healthily choose to get in touch with and thereby feel and heal the wounding they are carrying. The mind and the parts of us identified with it will not yield their dominance easily, no matter the degree of suffering.

It’s important here to feel that the mind and the parts of us identifies with it are not bad or wrong. They are simply doing the best they can.

I recently watched a popular teacher offer that in order to meditate effectively, one had to recognize the mind as being like having a monkey in your car while you are trying to drive. Not just a monkey he said, but one on drugs and one that had just been stung by a scorpion. No other way around this, he offered, but to simply get the mind to eventually shut up through repeated meditation. Can you feel how barbaric we’ve become in our drug dispensing solutions to medicate (including using meditation practice) rather than face our wounding?

SoulFullHeart instead sets out a path of getting to know and relate with the parts of ourselves that are stuck in the identity and prison of the mind. This is done through a heart open ‘template other’ that we refer to simply as a facilitator whose own work at opening their own heart makes them energetically and emotionally present and porous that no other certification or mental attainment can offer. Without this energetic and emotional presence, parts of us trapped in the mental domains simply cannot be elicited from their suffering. They can spot a fake with ease, and simply won’t respond. Why leave what feels like the best thing going to them?

Over time, once our parts experience, feel and come to trust reality adequately beyond the prison of the mind, it is so natural for them to be open to true creative play and imagination that comes from the heart and third eye. Now, the mind as the saying goes, can finally become our servant, rather than our master.

The other critical piece in SoulFullHeart’s picture is the arising authentic self, which we call the SoulFullHeart Self, who can show up consistently for the parts of us who are fused to mentally navigating life. This sovereign self, an inner reality, vs. an external spiritual practice or group, is the only way this can be healthy and sustainable. The answer is ever and only you. Read more about subpersonalities and the authentic self here:…

SoulFullHeart’s bold claim is only about helping you find that you.

I invite you to feel these words as deeply as you can. If you’ve read this far, I trust you have been. Let these words move you. Let them help you find your tears.

And if you’re ready for a bold action step of reconciling your words with your energy, contact us to explore a first free session together. Sessions are the doorway into SoulFullHeart if you are feeling to explore more. First session is free and very affordable after that.

Thanks again for taking the premise tour. I am nothing short of honoured to have you along.

Raphael Awen is teacher and facilitator of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information. 

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