In this video, SoulFullHeart Teachers, Facilitators and Sacred Union mates, Gabriel Heartman and Kalayna Colibri, discuss the mental area of life and how we can relate to the mental body from a point of view of love, respect, and spiritual and emotional healing and evolution.

There is so much energy placed on the mind and mental-based reality filtering is lauded and rewarded in our 3D reality, often over any other sort of pursuit or endeavor. Our five senses are the accepted gateway to taking in and understanding our world and the parts of us that make up our 3D Self, including our Inner Protector, Teenager, Mother/Father, and Punisher. As we ascend and awaken into more 4D frequencies and experience of life, sometimes there is a grasping at mental-based spirituality and filtering of spirituality in order to understand what’s happening in the individual and the world too, and why. This can step on the deepening emotional and embodied spiritual experience of awakening and is often a fear-based reaction from parts who are not ready for the awakening or are afraid to let go of 3D reality.

Kalayna and Gabriel also share about the awakening 5D Self, whose reality is more about visceral experience and moving with emotions as they come up rather than rationalizing or filtering them through mental-based conclusions or reasoning. Throughout Ascension, there is more fluidity that is invited, starting within, as the healing and unification of the Self continues and more oneness/non-dual experiences that are well beyond the mind can be had.

They offer too, that the mind is meant to ‘come with us’ during this process of Ascension and not to be left behind as many other spiritual paths offer. It is a crucial aspect of helping us find and visualize what’s possible for us and what our meditation journeys want to offer and show us. Eventually, perhaps the mind as we have known it is not needed anymore, and that alone can leave parts of us feeling anxious about what that reality could mean or be like, especially as the mind and thinking has been so over-emphasized and over-energized in 3D life.

If you have any questions or comments, you can leave them in the comment thread here on the blog, on the Youtube video itself, or find us on Facebook (just look for Kalayna Colibri and/or Gabriel Heartman and/or SoulFullHeart Way Of Life!). You can also email

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Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. 

 Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at





More Questions Than Answers: The Sacred And Necessary Journey Through 4D Into 5D Consciousness

Painting: ‘Unknown Terrain’ by Andrew Hem

by Kalayna Colibri

As we continue to move through 4D and find our way into 5D reality here on Gaia, there are so many more questions than answers, and there is a knowingness inside that hindsight truly is 20/20… meaning, sometimes we don’t and can’t know exactly what’s going on or where we’re heading until we’ve gotten there. There is a surmounting, ever-unfolding journey we are undertaking, fraught with mystery and entwined with conundrums. You find and claim one answer after another, only to ’round another corner and find another existential crisis awaits…

This is the experience of parts of us on this Ascension path. This is the experience within our Metasoul too and perhaps especially since there is so much karma held there, so many stories of other timelines and even galaxies and the happenings there. What is felt and experienced to be ‘the truth’ in one moment is then negated the next because of new discoveries within and in the world at large, too. There is so much mystery in this process of moving and ascending UPward, so much we cannot understand with our limited human energetic and verbal vocabulary, as it is right now. No wonder so many attempt to ‘figure out’ answers based in what their minds can learn. The heart though, the sacred, awakening and arising human heart, which is at the epicenter of our Ascension as a species, cannot learn through books and teachings alone and needs to experience… needs to feel… needs to let in and let go, too. So many answers are being revealed, starting from the inside, yet they need to be encouraged and supported from outside sources as well. Others who are walking this path alongside you. This is not meant to be an entirely lone wolf-based phase, this time of our Ascension. We are meant to do this together, be this together, find and feel the answers together, even if/when there is contention along the way, often held by parts or Metasoul Aspects of us not ready to let go into their truest vulnerability yet.

There is so much to learn. And are parts of us OK with not knowing our way through to this learning? This has been tricky to feel in this still predominantly patriarchal-based world and dimension, as the mind has been a prized possession and trophy, a sign of worth and power, for men and women alike. Over-reasoning has led parts of us down paths of deep hatred and fear, or a complete bypassing of much emotion at all. And then sometimes the mind gets a bad rap altogether, instead of being loved UP like any other part of our being and brought into our Ascension picture along with us. The mind is still needed, just perhaps not so relied upon, as its scope of the truthiest truths is limited at best.

The truth of Ascension lives at a personal level. It starts there like a seed, only to germinate with the right about of air, space, love. It grows with the questions, the navigation of choppy lower-4D waters, into the upper-4D flowing seas. It sways in the winds of new directions to go in, new places and parts to feel within, new physical geographies to inhabit. It is forever shifting, just as we are and are meant to. How we enter these phases of deep questioning and discernment is a show of active choice points and a foray into the unknown wilds of our human hearts which are at the core of our deepest healing processes and enlightenment/enHEARTenment opportunities.

And so, onward and UPward we continue, with all of our questions still burning brightly in the headlights and fuel tanks of our personal Merkabahs, somehow shining the way  and moving us along still, even if we can’t ever be totally sure where we are going… though it seems too, that as we inhabit even these difficult states of 4D-being and the reality of this for parts of us and move into 5D more and more, the questions become less important than the pure remembering that in the end, the details and ‘answers’ to our questions and quandaries matter far less than the return to our pure and deep understanding and kNOWingness, that we are now and will always ever be LOVE embodied in Sacred Human form. And reaching this state (even if it only lasts for moments at a time at first!) makes all of the journeying, all of the prior perplexed-ness so completely worth it. ❤


Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at

The Turbulence Of Ascension



Turbulence.  That is what it has felt like the last few days, well maybe even weeks.   I have found myself feeling some pretty intense emotional energies that have felt very related to the passing through this gateway.  I have not been much into astrology this life but I am noticing emotional correlations to these particular phases.  I am moving through this which much curiosity and even some fusion to the energies.  A feeling that I have not been totally me.  Thoughts that have brought my vibration down to a gravitational pull.  It is like our consciousness is an airplane and when we have tasted the lighter frequencies of our spiritual essence, the contrast of dipping down into the tumult of our more denser unfelt emotional body can be quite a jarring experience.

Even in the thick of the energy I knew in my core something was happening WITH me and not TO me.  It took some lifting of the control wheel to get to that space.  Getting higher than the turbulence to get some context and space from it.  An influx of mind chatter that felt very rooted in a more programmed way, connected to the Archon or Reptilian brain.  But I can not play victim to that for this energy is an aspect of me on a more soul level.  It is tending to this aspect with love and compassion.  This is what turns the nose up into the higher atmosphere of Love’s expansion.

I could feel how this part of me, so rooted in the mental body matrix, it is having a hard time letting go to what it has been used to in the name of control and fear.  The fear that it will cease to exist and that it is dying.  And really, it is.  It is having to move on to a new place that it can exist in its own vibration for it no longer can do that inside of me, for I am changing, raising.  I am no longer choosing to be brought down anymore.  To be drawn back into the turbulence of a collective and personal purgatory.

It looks like one of those scenes in a movie where someone opens a door and there are thousands of souls woooshing around in a swirl with pained expressions and awful sounds coming from them. It is real. It is out in the aethers. I see it effecting so many people as they are disconnected from it unconsciously. It fuels so much of the painful actions in the world. To be able to have a relationship to it is a gift in which you can foster a new coarse that does not bypass it, but heals it with the light of love and compassion with grounded protection from guides and the experience of those that have been there.

I feel I have been gifted in some ways with going into this “hell” many times as I am to serve as a bridge from there to here.  A part of me used to suffer in it as a curse, but now I am feeling something different.  It is time to show up in a new way as way-shower out of the darkness and heaviness and into the lightness of being that can actually feel unbearable to our more 3D Self.  It is a sacred passageway into a death that moves us from fear consciousness to Pure Love.  From suffering to Joy.  From limitation to infinity.

My heart is with those of you that are experiencing intense times right now.  There is much to be learned and moved into as we mature through this death/rebirth canal.  Each one no more sacred than then next.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at


Sail Away: A Poem To Beyond


Picture by Christian Schloe

Sail away
Away…. beyond the gravity and into your levity
Where nothing holds court other than your own limitation
Your own deprivation

You are not to be denied
Unless you feel the need to decide
That it is all too much for you to let in
The truth of your own creation

It is all so there for you to have
For you to own and mold
Into the image of your long lost dream
You buried so long ago

Don’t give up my beloved
My glorious angel and magician
For you own the key AND the door
It is a matter of choice….of believing….of trusting

Do you want to continue letting it all define you?
Instead let the possibilities imbibe you
Refine you
Deconstruct you into constructing you

Back, forward, up, and out
Beyond what the chatter is claiming of you
Of clinging to you
Afraid to losing you….unable to protect you

For you are Free
If you choose to Be
Spread that mind’s canvass to it fullest length imaginable
Open that heart to the widest aperture enjoyable

Tell the world that you are here for more
More than just what you have continued to settle for
More than the picture that was painted….
Debated…. Indoctrinated

The end of this world is the beginning of You
The unending surprise of your fear’s demise
Into the vast ocean of surrendered devotion
To the broadcast of your heart’s limitless evocation


Inspired by my beloved teacher and friend Raphael Awen


Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at

The Wonder Of Magic Available In Your Inner Child

By Jelelle Awen


The wonder of magic is available in the NOW moment….around and through and AS you. The light codes from the sun shining down and inviting the experience of wonderFULL joy and connection to the magics all around. Mother Gaia offering her PLAYground of natural magics and exploration. The PURE love waves that are all around in every moment are inviting you to experience it.

The wonder of magic can move you beyond the doing. It can move you beyond coming from the mind, the mind tracking EVERYTHING and so experience can’t come in. With the busy thoughts of the mind….usually thinking of yesterday or tomorrow and rarely in the NOW……these busy thoughts block the wonder of the moment. These busy thoughts and busy mind coming from a busy aspect of you label arising wonder and make it a name. These labels dampen wonder.

Knowing can dampen the wonder of magic too, it can kill it before it can even come into BEing. Knowing that comes from the busy mind and the 3D pain body is about numbing and making reality flat….making it KNOWN so that it can be safe. This is different than heart wisdom or soul wisdoms that are remembered and yet allow for exploration into the unknown in every moment. This knowing is lower frequency and it has layers of unworthiness underneath it and lack of trust in life, love, and the Divine.

The wonder of magic is within your inner child and is spring loaded to burst like a comet across the sky. Children feel and come from wonder yet are conditioned to suppress it and to conform and dampen it. Children are conditioned in 3D reality to DO and to KNOW first and foremost…often leaving BEing in the moment far behind as they get older. Yet, it is still inside of you, this inner child, and these frequencies of BEing in wonder that you had as a child.

Healing, feeling, connecting with your inner child moves you into more and more wonder and magic that eventually expresses as your crystalline child essence in 5D. We feel this as an important aspect of ourselves to connect with in SoulFullHeart, many frequencies of hurt and shame and unworthiness contained in the unhealed inner child expressing in our lives that through space, time, and love begin to heal and transmute.

The wonder of magic is yours to let in and experience again….it lives inside your inner child and can be revealed again as you go within, reclaim and love and embrace this energy inside until it can arise as loving wonder again.

Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, soul scribe, wayshower, multidimensional bridge, lover of love and co-creator and facilitator of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information about space holding sessions with her, group calls, videos, community, etc



Premise 17: You have a mind, you are not your mind

By Raphael Awen


Welcome to day 17 of the 21 day SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises tour.

I’m not quite sure if I should be out writing today, feeling not quite all here mentally, but in a way that feels really good. The stranger part is that today’s premise is called the ‘Beyond Mental Premise.’ How fitting.

Let’s see where we end up and as long as I have a few designated drivers just in case. And no, it’s not about a drug-induced high. 🙂

Today’s premise goes like this:

“We have a mind; we are not our mind.”

The very term mental illness is grounded in our collective mental illness. It’s the minds way of trying to reconcile a world without feeling. The mind needs to be grounded in feeling, but alone it can never get there. Without feeling, the mind goes nuts. Then it goes to insane lengths to reconcile a world void of feeling. People that are recognized as functional and well adapted people are essentially people who are at present reconciled to their mental illness with a societally accepted and ‘co-signed’ mortgage on their true sanity.

You have a mind, but you are not your mind.

Most people cannot fathom the essence behind these words. The mind is so in the forefront of navigating life and has been for so long, that parts of us have no other sense of identity or reality apart from the domain of the mind.

Who you are and what you are is so much more than the computer that is doing your 5 sense calculations for you. You may claim to believe what I am saying and agree deeply. But this alone doesn’t mean you live outside of the almost total mental domination and control of the mind.

Belief is a function completely of the mind.

Feeling is the function of the heart. The heart has ways and means the mind knows nothing about. An easy test to see if something is a feeling vs. a belief is to see where the tears are. You may pat your heart while you speak your beliefs, but without movement expressed in tears and vulnerability, you are still squarely in mental territory. Another easy test to see what’s of the mind vs. the heart is to feel where someone’s words do not match their energy.

The smiling clerk asking to help you is usually so dragged out in anxiety and the toxic corporate environment they work in that the offer to help is something most of us tend to instinctually avoid or at least manage carefully as we engage. The energy doesn’t match the words. We’ve become so accustomed to this however that we are truly surprised to find and feel the unmistakable difference of when someone’s words and energy actually do match. We want to make them our new best friend. Jelelle and I experience this often as our energy does match our words, at least as far as we can feel.

Truly living from the heart is so shut down in our conditioning, in how we were raised and in our collective agreements about what relationality is, that access to the heart is almost all but completely sealed off.

This dire view of relationality as it exists now is a bedrock premise of SoulFullHeart’s offer. If it is too negative for you or bleak, I can simply say that this work wouldn’t be for you. We are not in any way about finding positive thinking solutions or spiritual ‘love and light’ practices or outlooks to bridge this deep ache and gap in what it feels like to be a human being on the planet at this time in our collective evolution.

Facing into this stark picture of where we are at without any denial mechanism to lessen it is the only grounded place from which one could healthily choose to get in touch with and thereby feel and heal the wounding they are carrying. The mind and the parts of us identified with it will not yield their dominance easily, no matter the degree of suffering.

It’s important here to feel that the mind and the parts of us identifies with it are not bad or wrong. They are simply doing the best they can.

I recently watched a popular teacher offer that in order to meditate effectively, one had to recognize the mind as being like having a monkey in your car while you are trying to drive. Not just a monkey he said, but one on drugs and one that had just been stung by a scorpion. No other way around this, he offered, but to simply get the mind to eventually shut up through repeated meditation. Can you feel how barbaric we’ve become in our drug dispensing solutions to medicate (including using meditation practice) rather than face our wounding?

SoulFullHeart instead sets out a path of getting to know and relate with the parts of ourselves that are stuck in the identity and prison of the mind. This is done through a heart open ‘template other’ that we refer to simply as a facilitator whose own work at opening their own heart makes them energetically and emotionally present and porous that no other certification or mental attainment can offer. Without this energetic and emotional presence, parts of us trapped in the mental domains simply cannot be elicited from their suffering. They can spot a fake with ease, and simply won’t respond. Why leave what feels like the best thing going to them?

Over time, once our parts experience, feel and come to trust reality adequately beyond the prison of the mind, it is so natural for them to be open to true creative play and imagination that comes from the heart and third eye. Now, the mind as the saying goes, can finally become our servant, rather than our master.

The other critical piece in SoulFullHeart’s picture is the arising authentic self, which we call the SoulFullHeart Self, who can show up consistently for the parts of us who are fused to mentally navigating life. This sovereign self, an inner reality, vs. an external spiritual practice or group, is the only way this can be healthy and sustainable. The answer is ever and only you. Read more about subpersonalities and the authentic self here:…

SoulFullHeart’s bold claim is only about helping you find that you.

I invite you to feel these words as deeply as you can. If you’ve read this far, I trust you have been. Let these words move you. Let them help you find your tears.

And if you’re ready for a bold action step of reconciling your words with your energy, contact us to explore a first free session together. Sessions are the doorway into SoulFullHeart if you are feeling to explore more. First session is free and very affordable after that.

Thanks again for taking the premise tour. I am nothing short of honoured to have you along.

Raphael Awen is teacher and facilitator of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information.