Over the past few days I have been going into my heart and soul to feel what I am being guided to offer and express. In the process it was not about solving or figuring anything out. A distinctly masculine approach. One that I have used often. I felt to reboot my relationship to more Yin energies within me. To do so is to go in rather than out. From that came an idea to start a possible book or something like it titled “Going Yin”. It is an exploration of what it means to feel our Yin nature as a human male. What are the themes that are so different from our wounded masculine tendencies? How do those live inside me and how do they shift the way I feel and perceive myself, life, reality, and love? There is a great shift happening and I am being guided to feel more into this as being in a more Yin space will offer many gifts in the arising unknown. To dance with it rather than fight it.
Words on paper. That is what I am being guided to do. While a part of me is questioning this “strategy” to starting a book, I immediately can feel the energy of plan and structure. I am not judging this, just noticing it. I was inspired to begin a…God knows what word could be inserted here…a free verse of a journey into the inner feminine of a male human being. The needs of strategy, planning, and structure are apparent as I have language and purpose to attend to but it is more an experiment in energy and intuition, and a trust that I have those already embedded in me. I feel the logical part of me wanting to reread this and check for clarification and profundity.
There is a great example. I have never used that word ‘profundity’ in my life (that I am conscious of). I am sure I heard it, was given a definition or context, and stored it somewhere. But I would have never used that word by structured choice. It came out of me through just listening to my intuition. My stream of consciousness. That, to me, feels very Yin in nature and the very reason why I am choosing to embark on this. While I have been on a very Yin-based awakening process, I still find myself relating to life, in all its variegates (okay now it is getting silly), with a more masculine filter and reaction. I love my logic and reasoning. Don’t get me wrong. They are still a huge part of who I am, and who we are as human beings. I just feel this over-emphasis on it as a way of being and perceiving in the world. It is a deep wound based in fear and separation, or the fear of separation to be more specific. That is my sense of it. This could be elaborated on, clarified, or just plain changed over the course of my journey.
The impetus for this desire has arisen through my conscious awakening way of life called SoulFullHeart. It was founded by Jelelle and Raphael Awen as means to access our emotional pain body to allow the healing that is needed for us to awaken to our essence as divinely Infinite Love. It was birthed from Jelelle’s connection to the Divine Mother and the hard to feel reality that Her love, as well as Divine Father’s, has been misplaced in the shadow of our collective wounding, which is masculine in nature. A journey back to balance is felt as crucial as we find ourselves on the brink of global uncerntainties. But there is even a bigger picture. One of ascension. That there is a dimensional transition underway. One that part of an evolutionary process. A quickening. Gaia is moving into a 5th dimensional era. I don’t exactly know what I totally mean by that to be honest. I know there are all sorts of ideas and information out there. I am just downloading my own interpretation and will be exploring that further in my heart as well as with those that I am closest to. Regardless of the specifics, the point is there is something big happening. (In Yin time it has already happened, is continuing to happen, and will be happening…all at the same time. Yeah…no sense thinking about it.) The metaphysics of this I leave to my good friend, mentor, and co-yinner Raphael Awen.
What I feel is needed in this time of change is a good deal of Yin. A trust and an surrender in something that contains us and is there for us when we feel lost and in the process of change. We are being born into something new. A new way of relating, of communicating, and creating. All rooted in the beauty and power of Infinite Love. But there is much to feel in all of it. We have much to feel as our limited perception of reality will be challenged and the pain of our past, present, and future will be exposed to be felt in order to move on. Regardless of where I, or any of us “end up”, it is all still wrapped in Love.
But I feel beyond this picture of Yin as a life-preserver, for if I solely see it as that then I am coming from fear that I will be “left behind”, I want to experience life from a more Yin seat of being. That is to not become a woman, but to experience my authentic masculine expression. It through the sacred feminine that I feel our sacred masculine arises. Our strength, heart, passion, sex, and creativity are all made whole and more in line with our divinely masculine nature. So in a way, I am more on a journey toward my Yang through the mysterious and admittedly scary waters of Yin’s birth canal. I feel changed in my being somehow just by writing this. Something shifting toward my desire, creativity, and purpose. I feel supported and guided to continue the next set of words, whenever they arise, wherever they lead. This is the heart of Yin and I think I am falling in love.
Sequoia Heartman is a facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Please visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.