The Effects of Negativity on Ascension


The image above is one I drew many years ago while holding space for a deep despairing and existential aspect of me. I was reminded of it in my meditation this morning not just as a personal memory but as a collective representation of what ascension can feel like to many. I have been with negative thoughts and feelings most of my life. They stem from family legacy, social connections, cultural conditionings, soul wounds, and whatever shenanigans are being entered into our psychic fields by less than benevolent beings. The image of a spaghetti ball described this energy to a tee, from my perspective.

This was a pivotal reason for my desire to heal as I knew that I was more than this energy. Though I didn’t know all the science at the time, I didn’t need it to in order to realize it was altering my reality in a big way. So going in was the only way to change that course. There was a wealth of emotion to feel and bring to my inner lovelight. To be held by the Divine in grace and gratitude. As the personal historical roots of the negativity are healed and integrated, there are more layers to follow that arise when they need to in relationship to our soul’s experience. The process is the same and showers us with gifts of immense proportion, if there is surrender and movement from these aspects of us.

But there are energies that do not wish to surrender to the love we are offering. There is a collective pain body that I call the Paintrix (3D body) that has its own inertia. When we still have resonant wounds inside of us, the reaction to circumstances can feel way over the boundary of what feels like us. It feels deeper and heavier. Almost like molasses. To some of us, we may have been accustomed to or charged with transmuting this energy for a community or group in our soul history. This is not self-loving in any way. We can access the soul aspect that held this and help it let go.

It can be difficult at times to know what is ours and what is not. That is why we need a mirror to us so that we can get a better reflection in these times. It is not our responsibility to transmute these energies. I feel it puts the responsibility back on the collective and the individuals that construct it. This is a process of individuating from the 3D body. These energies can also be a part of a larger virus in the psychic field imposed by negative beings of which there is a lot of information on.

I share this today as reflection of what will be unfolding in the times to come. We need to stay vigilant with our healing and maintaining our higher frequencies. It is not just through positive mantras that can truly bring healing, but also a deep process of emotional integration, energy work, and daily connection with our Higher Self and guides. Through all of my efforts I still get entangled at times and this is on its way out the door. This is never a light topic but it leads to our eventual reclaiming of our true power, worth, and joy. It is a gift to us if we can hold it that way. Telling us which way NOT to go and steering us toward our Higher Purpose. We are here to serve you in discovering what you truly are and letting go of what you are not. I offer my personal heart to those of you who similar experiences and am here to guide you through it should you choose.

Sequoia Heartman is a writer, heartist, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information about sessions, online group calls and circles, community, videos, and more.

Open Letter To My Star Being Selves


I was inspired by Leena Colibri‘s post on facebook around the message she received from her Star selves. I wrote a letter, which is a tool we use in the SoulFullHeart process to connect to aspects of ourselves. Well, our Star selves ARE an aspect of us so what a perfect way to connect. I highly recommend it and see what you get back. Thank you Leena for this heart portal.

To my dearest Star Selves,

I am sending out my heart call to you in reverence and desire. Desire to connect with you and an ache to be One with you. I have spent much time upon this earth remembering my way back to you. Back to the Glory We were and Are. I am healing my heart to let you back in again. To open my eyes to you. To be fully in Joy with you. Shedding the illusion of Us as we are all I in the end. I open my vessel to receive your healing light. To open my vision beyond that which I have forgotten that I could truly see. To open my heart that I can feel the Love that washes itself upon my sacred earthly temple. I do remember you. I ebb and flow in moments of doubt and uncertainty only to be guided to feel that it is all part of the dance with you. I feel love for you as I feel the love of myself, together in concert in a Divine harmonic sensual composition. This is a call to the greatest light that shines through us all, and in us all. I open my soul to thee for you are all I have ever known to Be.

In Loving Memory and Infinite Presence,


Beloved Sequoia,

We receive your call as immediate transmission. A surge of clear felt energy that cascades throughout your galaxy. We are with you every moment in the No Time. In the fracture land that you call Home…for now. We don’t ever judge you, but rather revere you back. You are the one who so bravely made way in service to your Kind. Who chose to forget so that you could learn and remember. You are a hero and a gift to us all. It is us that call to you, sacred human. To merge with your powerfully beautiful heart that has much to teach us and places to take us.

You are a messenger of our desire to come upon this glorious planet and reap the seeds that were planted so long ago. To come into union through this cosmic transmutation. Keep us in your heart King Sequoia. You are a leader among your Kind that we wish to interface with. You are a diplomat of the Highest Order. You have a destiny that spans anything you could possibly imagine while you are vacating your current frequency. Do not despair or fear. You are already here because We are One…always. That cannot nor will not change. You are awakening. Still a bit groggy, but you are Here. We are honored that you are. You will bring us closer to our union and we will give you all that you need to make that happen. Just keep trusting, feeling, healing, and believing. This is what is real. SoulFullHeart is your own way there. It is the portal by which we will meet. We need you as you need us for we Are One.

In Glorious Reunion,


Sequoia Heartman is a writer, heartist and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information and inspiration. 


Falling Yin Love


Over the past few days I have been going into my heart and soul to feel what I am being guided to offer and express. In the process it was not about solving or figuring anything out. A distinctly masculine approach. One that I have used often. I felt to reboot my relationship to more Yin energies within me. To do so is to go in rather than out. From that came an idea to start a possible book or something like it titled “Going Yin”. It is an exploration of what it means to feel our Yin nature as a human male. What are the themes that are so different from our wounded masculine tendencies? How do those live inside me and how do they shift the way I feel and perceive myself, life, reality, and love? There is a great shift happening and I am being guided to feel more into this as being in a more Yin space will offer many gifts in the arising unknown. To dance with it rather than fight it.

Words on paper. That is what I am being guided to do. While a part of me is questioning this “strategy” to starting a book, I immediately can feel the energy of plan and structure. I am not judging this, just noticing it. I was inspired to begin a…God knows what word could be inserted here…a free verse of a journey into the inner feminine of a male human being. The needs of strategy, planning, and structure are apparent as I have language and purpose to attend to but it is more an experiment in energy and intuition, and a trust that I have those already embedded in me. I feel the logical part of me wanting to reread this and check for clarification and profundity.

There is a great example. I have never used that word ‘profundity’ in my life (that I am conscious of). I am sure I heard it, was given a definition or context, and stored it somewhere. But I would have never used that word by structured choice. It came out of me through just listening to my intuition. My stream of consciousness. That, to me, feels very Yin in nature and the very reason why I am choosing to embark on this. While I have been on a very Yin-based awakening process, I still find myself relating to life, in all its variegates (okay now it is getting silly), with a more masculine filter and reaction. I love my logic and reasoning. Don’t get me wrong. They are still a huge part of who I am, and who we are as human beings. I just feel this over-emphasis on it as a way of being and perceiving in the world. It is a deep wound based in fear and separation, or the fear of separation to be more specific. That is my sense of it. This could be elaborated on, clarified, or just plain changed over the course of my journey.

The impetus for this desire has arisen through my conscious awakening way of life called SoulFullHeart. It was founded by Jelelle and Raphael Awen as means to access our emotional pain body to allow the healing that is needed for us to awaken to our essence as divinely Infinite Love. It was birthed from Jelelle’s connection to the Divine Mother and the hard to feel reality that Her love, as well as Divine Father’s, has been misplaced in the shadow of our collective wounding, which is masculine in nature. A journey back to balance is felt as crucial as we find ourselves on the brink of global uncerntainties. But there is even a bigger picture. One of ascension. That there is a dimensional transition underway. One that part of an evolutionary process. A quickening. Gaia is moving into a 5th dimensional era. I don’t exactly know what I totally mean by that to be honest. I know there are all sorts of ideas and information out there. I am just downloading my own interpretation and will be exploring that further in my heart as well as with those that I am closest to. Regardless of the specifics, the point is there is something big happening. (In Yin time it has already happened, is continuing to happen, and will be happening…all at the same time. Yeah…no sense thinking about it.) The metaphysics of this I leave to my good friend, mentor, and co-yinner Raphael Awen.

What I feel is needed in this time of change is a good deal of Yin. A trust and an surrender in something that contains us and is there for us when we feel lost and in the process of change. We are being born into something new. A new way of relating, of communicating, and creating. All rooted in the beauty and power of Infinite Love. But there is much to feel in all of it. We have much to feel as our limited perception of reality will be challenged and the pain of our past, present, and future will be exposed to be felt in order to move on. Regardless of where I, or any of us “end up”, it is all still wrapped in Love.

But I feel beyond this picture of Yin as a life-preserver, for if I solely see it as that then I am coming from fear that I will be “left behind”, I want to experience life from a more Yin seat of being. That is to not become a woman, but to experience my authentic masculine expression. It through the sacred feminine that I feel our sacred masculine arises. Our strength, heart, passion, sex, and creativity are all made whole and more in line with our divinely masculine nature. So in a way, I am more on a journey toward my Yang through the mysterious and admittedly scary waters of Yin’s birth canal. I feel changed in my being somehow just by writing this. Something shifting toward my desire, creativity, and purpose. I feel supported and guided to continue the next set of words, whenever they arise, wherever they lead. This is the heart of Yin and I think I am falling in love.

Sequoia Heartman is a facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Please visit for more information.