By Raianna Shai
Today is 12/12, that may not mean much to you, or maybe it means a lot! I never kept track much of numbers or their meaning before this year. But one thing I’ve discovered is that if you can find meaning in something, then why not feel if it resonates for you?
A month ago was 11/11, a time for a shift in a higher timeline, a realization and a choice point of living into your highest creativity, progress, and ultimate heart’s desire. This was around the time that I started doing a lot of graphic projects for SoulFullHeart. A new revamp of almost everything visual that we put on the web. I was excited, it was a new way to output my creativity in a way that parts of me didn’t feel I needed technical “skill” for.
It was also around the time I started working with an Inner Punisher and previous to that, a part we call an Inner Protector. Both of these parts of me, these energies that have existed within me for years and years it feels like, are both male. I never thought starting this process that I would ever have a male part. I had always associated myself as being “feminine”, which had a very different meaning for me before this process. But the timing of working with these parts went hand in hand with all of the output and projects that I’ve had going on this past month.
Whether or not these dates really “mean” or “do” anything, I have felt a supporting of this creative energy lately. Something within me, often feeling like it was outside of me, encouraging the experimenting and pushing and feeling it all along the way. I felt unworthiness, self judgement, frustration, anger, doubt. Everything that comes along with starting and inhabiting something new. Yesterday I finally connected with the energy of my Inner Punisher in the moment of feeling these doubts, rather than afterwards. It felt like such a distinct difference in letting him roll out what he was feeling then and there, with tears along with it. I went about the rest of my day in a much more restful state, allowing projects to arise for me anew and choosing to do what my heart desired.
So here we are on 12/12, after a supermoon and preceeding two supermoons in January. As I’ve been learning, femininity can be represented by the moon, as the masculine energy influx was represented by the sun in the August eclipses. And today I feel a stillness and a letting in. I feel an appreciation of what I’ve started this past month and an awareness of its beauty that came from my heart. It’s time now for me to “reap the rewards” of all of the OUTput and INput, too. I will go IN, with love and care, feeling and healing, to give space for my heart’s work and the parts of me that need my love along the way.
Happy 12/12 ❤
Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, retreats, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.