The Velveteen Rabbit Within Us All

Digesting a lot in the aftermath of completion. My heart and consciousness still calibrating to a new reality post-marriage. There are ghost-like sensations throughout the day, things that I would normally have responded to are no longer there. It is a bit of a emotive and cognitive dissonance yet that is the very thing that lands me back into me.

Me.

Who is that even? I am beginning to become aware of who I was and which parts of me were in response to all of the relationship dynamics. I do feel a core self that has been there but the degree to which “he” showed up is still in question. That is the current process. Taking stock of where “I” was and who this “I” even is.

It is not so much existential or judgmental as it is curious with compassion. That is what allows the shadow to come out and be seen and felt. Just hanging outside the cave entrance and letting it know that I am here to be a friend and a caring advocate. Not a punisher or a hunter looking for extradition.

When we go through emotional times like this it can be so easy for a part of us to go into “fix it” mode or into the blame/shame game. Instead there is an opportunity here for us to get to some tender and profound understandings of what make us who we ARE and who we want to be going forward. This makes all our experiences sacred and meaningful. We get to come in contact with aspects of ourselves that are deep need of love and forgiveness.

Through this experience I will find something that may not look “good” or feel good, but if my Higher Heart is leading the way I can guarantee I will find something that will be real and that is what any of us can hope to aspire to. Just ask the Velveteen Rabbit.

******

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The Sobering, Activating, And Powerfully Burning Solar Eclipse Energies

By Kalayna Solais

Darkness, sobriety, landing in what’s real. The bursting of much-beloved (though sometimes also resented) bubbles of what parts of you had held as reality.

This is the energy of the Dark Mother/Madonna face of Divine Mother, powerful and unsentimental yet deeply loving. This is the invitation back inward from this upcoming Solar Eclipse, on the feminine (moon) side of it.

Support to keep feeling what’s real and to make space for the pain that surfaces, yet to FEEL and let in that you ARE supported and deeply loved…

This is the energy of the Father Sun/Metatron face of the Divine Father, helping you activate and step into NEW timelines even through the rubble of what has just crumbled and deeply feeling you and your parts in the sobriety and sadness. This is the invitation of going inward and yet not hiding your newly awakening desires and the Phoenix within you, another energy offered by this upcoming Eclipse. This time from the masculine (sun) side of it.

I feel the sobriety and continuing mirror of this Eclipse and what these energies are offering rumbling through as I write this. It can certainly feel intense at times, especially if you’re shifting from an outward focus and going back inward. This is something I’ve experienced personally with almost every phase of shifting timelines so for me this is an ongoing invitation to keep bringing it ALL back inward, taking in ALL of life’s reflections and letting them help and support me to cultivate more love inside of me, less suffering, more significant movement into the NEW.

Important cosmic events like this Eclipse help bring us back to the foundations upon which we’ve been relating to life and love. They have a way of encouraging old phases and relationships to burn up so we can all begin to see what’s been REAL about them, especially how parts of us have been relating to it all. The masculine and feminine parts of you have their own personal ways with which they relate to all of life and also to each other. It’s important to feel the polarity dance of these energies inside of you in order to understand more of what could be happening, why you could be drawing or not drawing what you are on the outside.

Raphael and Jelelle Awen created a video and guided meditation for connecting with your inner Sacred Union of feminine/masculine that I highly recommend taking in:

I’m finding it especially important and clarifying to check in daily with these energies inside, to see how they’re doing and if they’re flowing together or not. It’s a way to see the ‘state of your INNER union’, if you will. 🙂 Sometimes my masculine is frustrated with my feminine or vice versa. Sometimes one is overwhelming the other instead of actually caring about their impact on each other. When they dance in more harmony and balance and love, alchemy happens. More moments of joy happen. Life just generally feels more empowering and so much better, even if there are still some sobering circumstances moving through.

Eclipses especially seem to bring messages of inner masculine/feminine polarities… the dance between feeling and doing, going inward and flowing outward, INtegration and ACTivation. It’s a highly creative and alchemical time too, even if there’s deep and necessary mourning. There’s always something about returning back home to yourself, your parts, your heart and soul and the consciousness it truly embodies right NOW that helps you step into whatever is ‘next level’ for you, especially next level of love inside.

Much love to you during this much needed and alive, though quite sobering Eclipse phase… collectively and personally. ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Exploring And Honoring The Inner Feminine As An Integral Part Of The Ascending Masculine Journey

For some time now I have been feeling and acknowledging my inner feminine as a part of me. A very important and beloved part of me. There is a movement collectively for men to become more aware of their ‘feminine side’. This can be related to in a very general way that can just refer to our sense of sensitivity, caring, compassion, and intuition.

However, to take it a step further and give ‘her’ a name and thus a conscious identity within our physical masculine expression, can bring some interesting reactions inside. To claim our inner feminine is to relate to her in a very conscious way. It is to feel her feelings, her needs, her wounding, her story.

What has life been like for her in this male body in the context of a more patriarchal society?

If I explore this will I begin to question my own sexuality?

What will other people say if I claim her as an integral part of my being?

So to another part of me it feels like ‘coming out of the closet’. To my inner feminine part, who goes by Genevieve, this can be a bit unnerving as well considering the experiential history of feeling like she has not been welcome among other men in my life. Any hint of sensitivity that could be turned against her and me, Gabriel, was immediately thwarted by my protector.

There was a moment a while back when I could feel how growing up Genevieve would try to be a man the best she could to fit in. Doing and saying things that just weren’t her. When I actually felt this in my heart, we both had tears around it. I felt tears not just for myself but for all the other men who have these feminine parts doing the same exact thing. Men that I knew, that I friendships with.

In feeling her, I got to see and feel myself in a whole new way that actually has allowed my true masculine to emerge to the surface. Not the masculine prescribed by conditioning and trauma, but a more balanced and healthy masculine that can love and respond to his counterpart feminine.

I feel I am part of a band of brothers who live with this everyday but may be unaware or resistant to it for very good reasons. It goes beyond sexual identity and into what lives and breathes in our hearts and souls. I believe She is the next frontier of our collective male healing journey. She connects us to our Higher Heart, our sensuality, our creativity, our compassion, our intuition. She is a bridge to what lies in the shadow of the wounded masculine and his emergence into healthy strength and power.

There is more to this connection and what it means for us as spiritual male human beings. It is a beginning point for further feeling, exploration, and digestion. This comes on the heals of some pretty heavy Orion timeline bleed-throughs that need the feminine to hold and heal. I will be writing more about this as it seems fitting and necessary.

Thank you for taking in this very vulnerable and important part of my process and hope that it lands in the hearts of those it is meant to.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Love Transmission From Divine Mother On ‘The Day Of The Mother’

by Kalayna Solais

From the beloved Divine Mother on this ‘Mother’s Day’… or what I feel to call, ‘the Day of the Mother’. ❤️

She offers, in all of Her heart for us, the following… as a way to feel Her ongoing INvitation to us and all parts of us…

~

“I am proud of your integrity.
Your desire for more of it.
Your journey to deepening and refining it.
Your search for what’s true… about you, about others, about the world around you.

I am proud to watch your journey.
Sometimes as a silent witness, sometimes with cascading sounds, deep cries, or buoyant laughter.
I am proud when you feel proud and when you feel the ways you don’t feel proud too.
I am proud of your courage to be here now, even when your courage feels null to parts of you and they aren’t sure how to carry on.
I am proud when you do carry on and I’m proud when you don’t.

I hold a flag and a candle for you in all weather, in all circumstances, believing in the you I see and feel and know beyond a shadow of doubt.
The you that may take you decades, many timelines to unravel and uncover, many dedicated hours of inner work and self-discovery.
The capricious and ever-shifting emotional landscape of your being that is on its own sacred journey through the woods of reactions, pain, and heartbreak… I am proud, unendingly, of that too.

The energy and frequency of my love is not one always easily let in, yet it flows to you and all parts of you,
to all warring and battling energies inside of you and your soul,
to the collective you are part of that is coming apart so it can come back together in a way more loving and empowered.
I bring you all of the seeds and blooms of new life within and outside of you
and it is, always, your choice if you plant them, water them, and love them.

I am, at all times, witness, Mother, Sister, and divine beacon of what is possible for you to BEcome.
I am you as you are me, in expression of your personal truths and evolving being-ness.
And I am completely, utterly, in love flow
with you and as you.

Much love to YOU
Today… and always.”

~ Divine Mother

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Her Essence Cannot Be Burned: A Poem From Divine Mother, For Notre Dame

By Kalayna Solais

She does not live in our buildings.

She lives in our hearts

Our souls

And our bodies.

 

Our precious inner artistry

Cannot be lost

With the destruction

Of a symbol.

 

Our opportunities

To anchor into Her love

Will keep popping,

Cropping up

And inviting us inward…

Calling us YIN-ward.

 

Her essence

Cannot be burned.

It lives

despite all efforts

That rail against the dawning

Of the Feminine Day

And wail

That She has forgotten us.

 

Her arms, outstretched

Remind us to trust

Her heart, open

Reminds us to open our own

Even and especially

When it feels most challenging

To do so.

 

With the love of Our Mother

We align with Her

We remember Her

And we fall upon Her

To collaborate with Us

As we birth the New

Pressing through the birth canal

Of our highest and deepest hearts.

 

Much love,

Kalayna Solais

And Divine Mother ❤️❤️

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Healing Inner Conflict Into Our Embodied Truth And Service Of Love

Over the past few months, I have felt myself in a very awkward space between two of the most influential people in my healing journey. There have been times when parts of me could feel this tug to ‘side’ one way or another.

As a young boy, my parents were in a state of bitter contention at the end of their marriage. I felt the split inside of me to care-take both of them but for different reasons. This conflict found its way inside at an early and impressionable age. What was ‘right’ was more important than what was ‘true’. This theme also plays out in many soul timelines that are looking for connection and resolution.

As I felt this arise in myself once more, I could feel the ways in which this tug was always inside of me regarding my truth and needs. This is the ongoing work for me. It has been a challenge for parts of me this life to be in a seat of self-loving power, personal clarity, and expression. I could not have felt this without this relational experience.

We think we have ‘cleared’ or ‘released’ something inside of us when in reality it is always another turn in the spiral of healing. The energy is less and less but the theme will arise when it needs to in order to feel and heal it again. Each time arising anew and changed. I feel another layer of who I am as I continue to express more of my needs and truths.

This is ongoing. I feel more there to explore, examine, and offer love to. I used to feel that this was a disqualifier for me as a healer and leader. Now I am learning to accept that this is my personal certification process. I can only serve that which I have chosen to witness and heal within myself.

This arena of truth is a big top world, and it has much to teach us about who we are as men, women, humans, and BEings. It is the poultice of our soul.

Join me for my ongoing video series that I began yesterday as I will talk about this and other topics related specifically for men, but intended for all. Thank you as always for your taking in of my journey and how it may serve your own.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

April Energies Invite You To Come Home To Yourself

Coming home to ourselves is the greatest work we can be doing at any given moment.

In recent sessions that I have had there has been an underlying theme of this very thing. So much of what we ache for or about on the outside is really about what is missing on the inside. A need of being seen and validated by another, a fear or anxiety about financial needs, or a deep feeling of loneliness, depression, or anger.

If you can begin to explore that nothing on the outside can ever make you feel anything that wasn’t already there on the inside, then you have just offered yourself, and your inner parts, the gift of empowerment.

In the process of inner work, using the imagination and memories helps to locate where these core needs and fears are stemming from. This can be a very natural process when the curiosity and desire to sort and heal these are aligned. It is one felt step at a time.

Inside lay the wounded, the hurt, the afraid, the pissed off, the rejected, as well as the joy, the passion, the vision, and the love. They all have their roles and needs. They all have their ascension journeys. Their deaths and rebirths. There you face all the things you really need for your growth and validation. They get to be offered a home in you.

No mantra, book, or medication can take you there quite like opening the portals to your heart and soul with self-loving compassion. It is a process I inhabit everyday with different layers of depth and discovery. Let these current energies support you in that coming home journey as well as those that have been there too. I open my heart space in the self-led exploration and embodiment of your deepest desires and gifts.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

The Crucibles And Gifts Of Sacred Union

by Gabriel & Kalayna Solais

It’s in what we see in each other’s eyes. It’s alive in the touches of mutual nourishment and softness. It’s present in the sometimes fervent moments of conflict or advocating for each other or ourselves. We see each other as each other and yet as very different beings too, each with their own path and their own healing crucibles, riding alongside this mutually claimed healing crucible of being in Sacred Union… which we claim for its depth not its length.

A ‘successful marriage’, to us, means a commitment of heart, soul and body that has found all the depth it can in this current lifetime and phase too. It’s not about staying together ‘forever’. It’s about being in this exploration of a deeper bond with each other while feeling all it pushes up and yet helps heal too inside of each of us as individuals.

This is not a perfect process. We engaged in romance on a few occasions so that we could see deeper into ourselves at each turn. The blind spots, the shadow, is revealed in the dance of intimacy. At times they moved us to new places and new ground between each other, and at others they took us to a completion that sent us on a more singular quest of self-understanding and growth. Each one leading us to new awareness and new desires…..sometimes for others and eventually back again.

In this current revolution of our Usness (the bond that lives between each of our sovereign beings), we have chosen to go deeper into this soul pairing. We have felt parts of ourselves that relate to each other’s parts in different ways. Many of our differences and conflicts arise from the meeting of these parts and Metasoul aspects. This is the quantum healing that is possible inside of this kind of conscious union. We are not together to ‘ride it out’, but to go deeper into our growth and soul edges. We both have masculine and feminine parts relating to each other, soul contracts to feel and resolve, lifetimes of joy and pain to integrate together. We have felt our kings and queens, soldiers and maidens, priests and priestesses, and galactic counterparts.

~

Gabriel: The journey of Sacred Union with Other begins with Self. What we feel and see about ourselves is reflected in those we relate to, especially those we are most intimate with. The ache for Other that may reside within is in large part an ache for Self. As a part of this journey with my beloved wife Kalayna, it was a process of falling in love with me. My parts. My parts loving themselves and being loved by me. One big Me love fest. It is that love of self and selves that beacons and draws that which is alive on the inside.

~

Kalayna: When I look at Gabriel, most of the time I can see him on all of these different levels and layers of who he is. Yet, he arises as a mystery to me. Also, there are moments and days where the soul isn’t seen right away, where he is a body in a space shared with my own. These moments though, I’m grateful and happy to say, are few, because of the degree of mutual respect and reverence we have for each other that still continues to deepen.

At the end of the day, I’m grateful for every moment spent with him and every moment that this relationship has helped reflect to me my next places to go inside, even if this is the last day we have together in this romantic bond. I feel my parts pinging off of and interacting with different parts of him in this this-life dance we share. I also feel, especially during love making and moments of deepening together, the other-life dances our souls share, sometimes unbeknownst to us yet ever present somehow. I desire for more depth with him, to venture off into many sunsets with this man, riding this horse called “Sacred Union”, trusting the unfolding of the path we share.

~

Gabriel: We know each other well in some respects, but are a complete mystery in another. Kalayna has continued to arise as a woman and blossoming feminine leader whose scent gets sweeter and succulent each time. Her passion and shadow reflect mine. She activates and triggers what needs to as part of my own growth and response to my own leadership. This has happened both in and out of romance, but this Sacred Union calls something forward that is part of each other’s crucible of Love’s ambassadorship. It is us and more than us at the same time.

~

Kalayna: Love is always here with all of us, inextricably part of us yet also making up our whole being. We cannot be ‘left’ or ‘abandoned’ by it, though the imprint of feeling this way in the trauma of separation from Divine love especially has made it feel to parts of us like sometimes love really does ‘leave’. In past relationships, even in past phases of romance with Gabriel, I’ve felt parts of me cling to him as to a liferaft. I still feel where I need to go with parts of me in their sometimes over-attachment to him and the comfort and natural solace he brings to the relationship, in order to help them find that more with me than with him. This feels so important for any and all relationships in my life actually, and is what the main process is sometimes for me… to keep bringing it all back to me, back inward, to find, cultivate, and nourish the ultimate source of comfort and love there and with the Divine as well.

~

Gabriel: There have been times of complete overwhelm and resistance and other times of ecstasy and bliss. The in-between is what we navigate daily, surfing the realness of heart even if it risks an ‘end’. In reality, there is no end, but rather a moving on place. This is the crucible of my process as a man to be as vulnerable and real as I can and to feel and love the shadows that arise from such a difficult place for a part of me. This is the Real Deal. It is the Big Time. We both signed up for one of the most catalytic experiences in life. True conscious Sacred Union. I am excited and scared as hell at the same time. Who we will be and become are unknown and yet ready to be born. I couldn’t imagine doing it with anyone other than Kalayna.

~

Old ideas and conditioning that say that romance is really supposed to offer a ground of having someone to come home to who will love you unconditionally are still very much alive in our culture and embedded in our hearts and souls too from many different lifetimes of feeling abandoned especially by romantic love. The new sense of Sacred Union though, feels so different… it feels as if it wants to come from the transaction ground between two lovers who are in a mutual healing and maturation space, meaning that this cling to each other for reasons of quelling wounding for a while wants to move into something new, some new ground of relating that is based much more on health rather than dis-ease within. This is the sense of Sacred Union that we commit to with each other now… and we cannot know how deep this will go or how long it will last. Yet, to treasure what we have right now in this moment, even in this moment of writing this piece together, feels important and desired.

Much love to YOU and with YOU as you continue to explore your own journey of these Sacred Union grounds within… and possibly with an Other too, either in this moment or another moment to come. ❤

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

     ***
Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 30 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.



The Rise And Balance Of the Mental Body During The Equinox

I think therefore I am.

This was an invitation to go beyond what we “knew” about the world around us and dive into the world that resides within us. A philosopher’s creed. There was so much to think about in regards to the nature of existence and our place within it as humans. This heightened sense of cognition and curiosity led to so many discoveries in the mathematics of life. Pythagoras finding God in geometry. The inevitable rise of knowledge leading to power.

A mental grid blanket formed over the heart. Efficiency, productivity, invention, and progress became the engine of modern civilized industrialization. The masculine drive lost touch with its counterpart of intuition, cooperation, trust, kindness, and decency. It is not they do not exist, but they do struggle to find balance and a place at the table of humanity.

Even religion and spirituality can have its mental overlays that keep it “out there” rather than right “in here”. In the heart. In the now. It is not an attack on the mind, but rather a much needed and desired relationship to it. The unbalanced and unfelt masculine has been at war with itself and the world around it.

There is a sacred energetic poultice that is occurring here on Gaia during this Equinox. This mentalized and scared sacred part of ourselves is coming to the surface to be loved. To be felt in its protection, in its need for control, and its fear. This part has a lot of discernment and can be very unsentimental which is needed in certain situations. But it can be at the sacrifice of something quite innocent and tender inside of us.

This “mental body” has a name and a story. It has a deep purpose as a guide and a manifestor. It can be an Inner Protector, Inner Punisher, Inner Matriarch/Patriarch. Yet, when left unfelt it can create blocks to our emotional and spiritual bodies.

Raphael Awen and I will be discussing this (with both heart and mind) in our next Sacred Masculine video. We will seek to connect to this part of us to feel what it has to say about all the doing and thinking that has kept many of us from truly feeling and experiencing the kind of joy and expanded consciousness that is right there waiting for us to embody and experience beyond the mind.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Sacred Romance; Sacred Ceremony

Wow.

What a magical day it was yesterday. The weather could not have been more ideal (well, maybe a tad warmer, but not complaining!). Jelelle and my daughter Raianna wove a stunning tapestry of love for the ceremony with decor and an altar in honor of our Usness. Jelelle’s holding of the space was truly beyond words. Her words invited depth and spirit and could feel the multitude of being and lifetimes in the room with us.

Kalayna was just stunning in her dress and radiated and glowed with the love she came into this world with. I felt rather dapper in my thrift store finds (in full disclosure). We carried the love to the ocean where we felt The Divine grace us with jubilance and fanfare. Raphael spoke eloquently of feeling the mourning as well as the celebration which lets in the poignancy of the sacred moment. We commit ourselves not to its length but to its depth.

We were joined by a new friend to our intimate circle, Annie, as a heart and soul presence that so sweetly took in and reflected our love. Raianna brought us to tears with her words and guitar playing.

We are so blessed with everyone’s love and well-wishes in this new phase in our growth and service of love. We look forward to serving its overflow to the individual and the collective.

Much love back at you all,

Gabriel & Kalayna Solais (pronounced So-lay-is)

It is pronounced Solish in Irish/Scottish but we felt to be phonetic as it is easier. It means light and soul.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.