Healing False Mother To Let In Divine Mother: Women’s Group Call July 5

By Jelelle Awen

When I shared on social media previously about my upcoming women’s group call tomorrow where we will be feeling into healing the Motherhood wound/False Mother to let in Divine Mother, a question came up around, ‘who is the false mother?’ Exploring the answers to this question is where we will go within the call space….as it is truly unique to each woman and her Metasoul experience/lineage as well.

In general, the False Mother is any projections/archetype/’lineage’ and legacy/birth family line and other lifetimes experiences/karma that block and limit access to experiencing and letting in the energies of the Divine Mother. False Mother can show up in ‘presentations’ and packages of Divine Mother that are used in strategic and dogmatic ways, such as in religions, some spiritual practices, and even in New Age offerings. These energies can have a warrior energy to them, be seductive or overly pious, and fused to other lifetime archetypal expressions such as Priestess/Witch/Sorceress/Shaman.


False Mother usually feels impersonal, transcendent, non-relational, even punitive/punishing in frequency. False Mother can show up even in Goddess worshipping practices in which you tune into and even ‘obey’ the “Will of the Goddess.” False Mother is also something you are looking to on the ‘outside’ rather than experiencing from the inside in deepening ways.


These False Mother energies are actually usually coming from the lower 4D wounded/unhealed masculine energies and the AI Matrix. A Matrix is actually a womb yet the 3D/4D control Matrix has been about programming, conditioning and conformity and distorting light/love into a false version in order to keep many souls ‘stuck’ at a certain tier of consciousness. In a way, the Matrix has also been a False Mother to parts of us and soul aspects as well.


As the Matrix continues to collapse and the wounded masculine heals, there is more opportunity to connect with the pure and authentic energies of Divine Mother. The False Mother frequencies become revealed from within (such as those expressing in your Inner Mother), in relationships (with birth family feminine caregivers and in your Matriarchal family line), and in your Metasoul experiences.
As you identify, feel, and heal these false mother frequencies, you then experience the REAL Divine Mother of PURE unconditional love, compassion, authenticity, range of expression (from still to fiery as needed…..from deeply compassionate to unsentimental, etc.), passion, and template for embodiment within your sacred feminine human body.


You feel then the Divine Mother within YOU and come that much more into embodying Her AS you. As Divine Mother has told me so many times, “I am you and you are ME. Now, let THAT in!”


We will explore this more tomorrow in my monthly women’s group call over Zoom at 10:00am PDT through teachings/sharings with me, a guided meditation to connect to your Inner Mother/False Mother within through a bridge with Divine Mother, and personal sharings for those women who would like to. We will tune into the loving sisterhood circle created during the call to generate more of the Divine Mother energy.


You can attend and/or receive the recording by whatever donation you feel to give via soulfullheart.org/shop or paypal.me/jelelleawen. More info at soulfullheart.org/womensgroupcalls and https://www.facebook.com/events/425536431663247/


You can purchase the recording of any of my previous women’s calls where we explored Healing the Sisterhood Wound, bridging to Divine Mother (two calls), Sacred Feminine healing, healing the inner masculine and more at the same links as above.


I also recommend my new book Free To Be 5D, where I describe much more about the False God/Mother/Light Matrix and how it expresses and the SoulFullHeart process to heal from it: soulfullheart.org/books

The Sacred Growth Of Letting In & Letting Go In All Relationships

by Kalayna Solais

All we can ever feel with another being in this world is possibility, potentiality… nothing is ever a given, no matter how strong the vision of what could be or the depth of soul/heart connection that seems to just BE.


We are always sorting out and sorting through. We are taking in who we are through the reflection of another, directly or indirectly. We are choosing in every moment what resonates most for us right now, which may not resonate any longer in the next now. We are also this reflection, this point of resonance or dissonance for others, in relationship to them.


None of us are exempt from this sacred sorting out process or the growth that comes of it.
Let go, let in, let go again… be surprised, be enlivened, by new beginnings and even necessary collapses. Though there is always more to feel and be with in all of this, and many reactions pinging for parts of you, it’s all part of the process of deepening your intimacy with yourself and with others as well, whether they can continue to connect with you on the next leg of your individual journeys, or not.


Each and every time I walk this out… I’m surprised by what it opens out within me. The clarity of what I want next, the boundaries I need to hold with an open heart, are priceless to feel and honour. It’s always challenging in new ways, but feeling the trust in my own growth that I know is always available and necessary, that helps me sink and surrender into each crucible… and feel the Divine with me at all times.


Much love from my ever-growing and opening heart to yours,
Kalayna

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Ahimsa: Healing The Inner Violence To Feel Our Non-Violence

Ahimsa. It is a Sanskrit word that means “non-injury” or “non-violence”. In my recent process of diving into sexual and emotional trauma as a young boy and teen, I have been able to access the more innocent and essential aspect of me.

This In-Essence, I am calling it, is so very sensitive yet strong and enduring. When I tap into it, I feel how much violence I have learned to be with this life, and many others. This is true for all of us when we get to this very kernel of our Being. When I go outside, I am aware of the violence all around. Things that I would not have deemed as violent before. Sounds, words, actions, thoughts, energies, etc.

Now, going down that awareness road could lead me to just hold up in a cave somewhere and never come out. Of course, that is not what I want (well, maybe a part of me would be okay with that for a short time). What I want to feel is how I can practice Ahimsa in each moment with myself, with Other, and with the World.

The first thing for me is to be aware of the violence within and hold it with compassion. From a SoulFullHeart perspective this violence can come in the form of an Inner Punisher and/or our inner unworth. One parcels out the violence the other acquiesces to it. Holding space for both brings them into relationship, into forgiveness, and into healing.

The more we can heal the violence and unworthiness within, the more we become aware of what is not Ahimsa for us in each moment. That which did not seem violent yesterday may seem much more so tomorrow. The thoughts we have, the things we eat, the way we eat, the way we have sex, the way we talk, the things we say, the feelings we have, the expression or suppression that ensue. The list goes on.

It is Consciousness loving Itself in the most subtle of ways. Compassion is the bridge that takes us there. We cannot find ourselves in a vacuum devoid of violence but we can choose what we are a part of and/or how we respond to situations. Ahimsa becomes a momentary mediation on Love, just as much as holding the part of us that doesn’t feel it has ever really known it or deserves it.

Take a moment to be still and feel Ahimsa. Feel what is not. There the healing begins.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

In The Darkness The Queen Is Born

By Deya Shekinah

It’s hard to share and write as much when I am in the depths of feeling darker emotions and shadow aspects of myself. It feels so vulnerable for my parts to show the depth of grief, unworthiness, self loathing and entitlement they are feeling. For younger parts it can feel dangerous to show these feelings, as they are so conditioned to be good, nice and keep quiet. Yet to show up as the woman I know I am, this process of welcoming, owning and revealing the darkness feels like a key part of maturation and embodiment.

As I danced this morning with the darkness, I could feel how alive and juicy it feels to dance, feel and express these darker emotions. There is a power within them, that feels so connected to embodying and stepping into my Queen. To push intensity and darkness away, to hide from it and make it ‘not ok’, I feel like I am pushing away essential parts of myself as a woman. My passion, my pleasure, my joy, my purpose are all being suppressed along with them. 

There have been times these past weeks where my parts feel like they are drowning in the darkness, like they will never find their way through. To be honest that can still feel like the only reality as I, Deya, am still growing my capacity as a space-holder for my parts, and am still becoming the container that they can rest into and feel held within, rather than becoming them.

I don’t think I have ever felt so shaky in my life. Even as I feel a strength in sharing these words in the moment, once they are out in the world, the unworthiness, fear and anxiety will surely arise as they keep doing. The more I am choosing to step up and shine, to be more authentic, to follow my desire to be in service to Love and to be in intimacy with others, the more these shadows are being revealed.

It feels like there are now no other options, no more hiding places; there is no way to go but IN. To be authentic, to serve and to live in joy includes all of the uncomfortable emotions, to Love and be in intimacy with myself, with life and with others includes them all too. To be a Queen means being willing and brave enough to face the shadows. To be a Queen means to lead by example with a loving, empathetic heart to the feelings of others, because she is in a deep, real and intimate relationship with her own and knows the challenges that will be faced on this journey through her own lived experience.

Love,

Deya x

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

Reclaiming The Lost Boy Of Our In-essence

As a sensitive boy growing up, I could feel so much around me yet had no real guidance on how to interpret, digest, and integrate it all. This is really true for most if not all of us. The biggest piece I am revisiting now is the depth of my sexual trauma as a boy moving into manhood.
Confronted with so many images, energies, and conditionings around sex and sexuality, this boy in me found himself between a rock and a hard place (pardon the pun). There was the desire for innocence to be the name of the game. To dance with the essence in both the boy and the girl. Like a journey of discovery and playfulness.

Instead it was about fitting in to the dominant culture of woundedness. Girl became an object of my need to be validated as a man in the world. Her yoni a portal back into the womb of The Mother. But Girl was wounded too. She was looking for her own needs to be filled…so to speak
Now Boy is caught between fulfilling the needs of both the wounded masculine in his power over the feminine and the wounded feminine in her need to feel some hook into the masculine. Both invulnerable and unable to really see each other in their innocence or in-essence.

I reconnected with that boy in me again and replayed those days while feeling the innocence in contrast. The pain of what this boy packed away in order to survive in that world was heart-wrenching. I could feel the toxicity and pain swelling in my cells. All of the trauma that I never categorized as trauma because men don’t do that in what is just ‘those teenage years’.
If, as men, we were to really feel where we lost our innocence, we would really get to a core of who we are as a man. Why we have done, and to some degree still do, the things that we do. If we can ‘come to Jesus’ with this Lost Boy inside of us, we would find the root and beauty of our masculine innocence. Something we packed away a long fucking time ago.

In that innocence we also find the warrior who has fiercely protected him. The warrior who has both shadow to heal and truth to tell. Between them both is the Man who has a vulnerable heart and a willingness to call bullshit when he sniffs it. He is willing put his heart on the line but not his power. He is willing to seek forgiveness but not condemnation.

There has been no greater process for me than the one I am currently in. This Lost Boy in found again in my heart. I am loving him with every once of it that I have access to. It is my current sacred bromance. It is this process that activates and unearths more of my King or Sacred Sovereign Masculine Self. It is this process that leads me to more self-love and ability to see, feel, and relate authentically to the feminine within and without.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Dearest Daughter: A Loving Message From Divine Mother To Heal The False Mother

Dearest Daughter,

I am inviting you now

to feel your legacy, your lineage, your leanings

that lovingly bond you to ME.

Within all this potential,

all this capacity,

all this inheritence,

all this birthright

is ALL that you need to become

the embodiment of ME.

As you heal the false mother,

that you have been misled to follow

that you have been conditioned to template

that you have been required to model….

so then you can let ME into your heart,

into your soul, into your body, and into your BEing

as a nurturing, catalytic, unconditionally loving

Mother to all parts and aspects of you.

You, my daughter, have always been wanted

never actually been rejected

never truly been separated

never completely been orphaned

from the home of MY heart.

You are an expression of my likeness,

just ripe to arise

into your unique version of ME.

I am here,

in all my numerous faces and figures

holding the infinite possibilities

of your ongoing embodiment

as Infinite Love

in Sacred Womanly form.

My love awaits your reclaiming!

love,

Your Divine Mother (With Jelelle Awen)

~

Join me for a special Sacred Feminine arising women’s group call event over Zoom on Sunday, July 5th at 10:00am PDT to attend live and/or receive the recording. I’ve been in surrogacy and ongoing embodiment connection with Divine Mother for over ten years and I’ll share about my process of healing from false mother and healing the motherhood wound to let in Divine Mother. I’ll also be providing a guided meditation with Divine Mother to connect with the part of you that needs the healing and create a bridge to your Divine Self as an embodiment of Divine Mother. You’ll also have space to personally share and take in sharings by other women on the call. You can attend by offering a donation of ANY amount at soulfullheart.org/shop or paypal.me/jelelleawen. More info here: soulfullheart.org/womengroupcalls

The false mother is the wounded feminine (usually has quite a lot of wounded masculine expression) that we’ve all experienced in some form in our daughter experience. False mother can also be a distortion presented by religions from a patriarchal lens or the Goddess paradigms that distance and don’t create an intimate and personal connection to the Divine Mother that we can then feel as an embodiment of ourselves. As we experience more of Divine Mother, we feel ourselves what has been ‘false’ and what has been true.

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Divine Feminine Bridge/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical/mental levels. For information about a free consultation call and 1:1 sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators Raphael Awen/Gabriel Heartman/Kalayna Solais, virtual group call and in person events, writings/books (including Jelelle’s latest Free To Be 5D), and videos, visit soulfullheart.org.

Loving The Spiritual Warrior Into The Spiritual Ambassador

Since the Solstice/Eclipse I found myself flying high in the sky to then falling toward the ocean like Icarus in the Greek myth. An outer trigger that constellated another layer of my wounded masculine and feminine.

It illuminated the ways in which they are both still working out their relationship to each other. As my own ascension and maturation process continues, I reach more subtle areas of my wounded and shadow selves. Then the subtle becomes more obvious and like an elephant in the room.

The awareness I felt was that parts of me still look outbound for validation rather than inbound and from me and the Divine. Before this SoulFullHeart work, I would respond to this awareness by trying to ‘improve’ myself or take care of my ‘shit’. This only brought in more frequencies of self-judgement rather than self-compassion.

Through connecting to my inner world of parts and Metasoul aspects, I have become more clear about who I, Gabriel, is as the ‘eye of the storm’ sort of speak. I am becoming more clear of my Essential self, that Me that is the spark of the Divine.

As I connect to that energy more, I can start to see the architecture of my wounding more and be able to hold the parts of me in vibration and pain. I am the Ambassador of my own ascension. My trailing edge wounds are a part of who I am. I cannot go very far without them. Their ascension is my ascension.

So in I go. Feeling. Reflecting. Compassionating. Loving. Owning and Growing. This is the path of Spiritual Ambassador, not the Spiritual Warrior. Even the warrior is held in Love and not in spite. It has enumerable gifts that are the fuel of our devotion to Love for all humankind and for ourselves as human souls.

For more on this topic of 4D Warrior to 5D Ambassador I highly recommend today’s call with Raphael and Jelelle Awen. They will be bridging these energies through teaching and a guided meditation to bring in more compassion, forgiveness, and self-love. It will be available as a recording as well. To get the details go to soulfullheart.org/freetobe2.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Energy Update: Solstice/Eclipse/’Father’s Day’ Sacred Masculine Codes Illuminating Shadow Masculine

by Kalayna Solais

The Solstice/Eclipse energies coming in are super activating and A LOT to let in, especially as it feels like they are mostly coming from the Divine Father/Sacred Masculine. Plus, on top of that, we have a blend of the shadow masculine and sacred masculine energies coming in on ‘Father’s Day’. None of this is accidental, of course, and I definitely get the sense that we’ll need to ‘buckle up’ a bit for what is being illuminating and what wants to move within.

As Divine Father/Masculine energies come through, you’ll feel illuminations of your own shadow masculine expressions in this life and others. You’ll likely feel the grab at old relationships to others, to soul purpose work as well that your masculine has needed for a sense of ‘worth’ in the world. You’ll feel the outrage of your masculine and even masculinized ‘warrior feminine’ coming forward in some cases, wanting to set fire to everything in your life and to the 3D systems still collapsing.

None of this is ‘wrong’ to feel and all too often the necessary waves of rage, which is really passion when felt in its leading edge, get put down or therapized instead of heard and deeply felt. These are necessary pieces to feel as the world continues to shift and change and your parts/aspects are figuring out how to respond to it all. Do they conform to what the popular opinion or action-taking is, or do they rebel against it? Do they feel to stay in a polarized position and argue, fighting to convince others of their side… or do they choose to go inward, to drop the sword, to have their truth validated by YOU as a growing and healing ‘self’, and feel their vulnerability in it all?

When the Divine/Sacred Masculine moves through our heart spaces, it penetrates. It pierces through the din within. It creates a poultice because of the potency of its love, to draw out the parts of you that need love and that are convinced that the outside world has to change first before they can feel loved. It’s an energy that shows you its truth and helps you feel your own. It’s an energy that wants you to be empowered yet invites you to heal any need to seek power over anyone or anything else.

This weekend is going to be VERY powerful! It’s a potent time to go inward, connect with the Divine Father face/expression that most resonates for you, and to connect with your own Inner Masculine and what may be rumbling within him/them as well.

Here is a meditation led by Jelelle and Gabriel to help you connect with the Divine Father: https://youtu.be/QTWxFux2KA4

Much love! ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Free Consultation Calls With Gabriel Heartman

So many rumblings and reactions happening right now. So much shadow coming to the surface to be met with love instead of fear. This can be a lot to hold with all of the energies swirling and popping.

In SoulFullHeart we feel all the parts of us that are in pain, reaction, and/or confusion. We feel the Metasoul aspects that may be bleeding through at this time and needing your attention and care.

This is very catalytic work that can be attested to by those that are currently in session space with us. It does require a real desire for change, not just temporal relief. Yet, there is a self-loving way to be with the change that is knocking on your door.

I, along with Raphael Awen and Kalayna Solais, offer a free consultation call to feel with you what your presenting pains/fears/frustrations are and see how the process can navigate you to deep, transformational change. Moving out of the old way of being and into a new way of seeing and feeling yourself and the world. An invitation to the community within you and our community on the outside.

There is support during these times and I would love to help feel how I, and we as a group, can support that. I have been in this process for 8 years now and I have gone from very dark days to a deep and profound connection to myself, to others, to the world, and the Divine. I want to share and serve that to others who are in the space I was back then.

“After only a short time of sharing Gabriel was able to help me identify aspects of my gatekeeper and protector that have been currently activated, and now I can build a relationship with them. Gabriel’s feedback clearly comes from deep listening, to his facilitant and to his own deepest self. I felt seen, and seen through, safely with great compassionate understanding. What I’m feeling is so special about this work is how embodied it is.”

For more about my story you can visit: https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/about-gabriel

For more information on SoulFullHeart Consult Calls and Sessions visit:
https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

You can email me at gabriel@soulfullheart.org or PM as well.

Sending you much love and grace during these shifting and rumbling times.

Feeling The Fears Of Deepening Intimacy In Sacred Union

by Raphael Awen

When we hide and compartmentalize our deeper truths to ourselves and others, we are rolling a stone up a hill, that gets larger and larger with time. Eventually, that stone gives way and demolishes those compartments, and reveals much about our fears, our shadow, as well as our light.


I have found this as a pattern that has shown up in my earliest relationships this life, and also in my Metasoul family as well. It came up yesterday (again) in my deepening intimacy with Jelelle, where even the finer attempts at compartments falter sooner and sooner. Ultimately, those compartments are about the fear of intimacy, and strangely (or maybe not so), even a fear of a deepening and proven intimacy.


To a part of me and in my Metasoul, it is still like the deepening intimacy is the stone being rolled up a hill, rather than the withheld truth. Then ‘the truth’ can be used as a threat in an attempt to return back to safety, to manage the fear, which gets into control and manipulation.

I was churning on all this last night and got out of bed to digest with Yeshua and Magdalene as well, being the perfect guides for a gender and Sacred Union need. They both assured me that this is the growth edge of the masculine and feminine now to lead with their vulnerability and their truth, in that order. They were also kind of amazed that I would seek to first find that reality inside as the source of the outward manifestation, as this wasn’t the deeper conscious reality in their lifetimes here on Gaia.
They also energized so much gratitude to me for being willing to walk this out, which spoke deeply to the remorse and almost shame I felt for causing hurt or blocks to intimacy in all of my relationships, regardless of the degree.

This I feel is the new playground ‘I Am’ being invited into, one my soul has always craved and longed for – truer and truer Sacred Union within and without.

~

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.