By Raphael Awen
Today, like any next moment, is a blank slate.
There is the momentum of your beliefs and values rolling like a train down a well worn track inside of you, held in place by parts of you, that will fill that blank slate if you allow it to, but prior to any moment, the next moment, in its essence is always a blank slate.
Because we are so accustomed to every arising moment being spoken for by this massive freight train of our beliefs and feelings and its seemingly unstoppable inertia, we lose sight of the blank slate and its potential, accepting instead the all-too-familiar manhandling of these agents of some bureaucratic moment-killing agency; in this case, the very beliefs and values that we adopted along the way in the name of fitting in.
Life from then on becomes largely a ‘just what is’ kind of reality that we have long ago simply accepted, forgotten, having long moved on now to seeing how we can best tolerate the leftovers, of what actually amounts to a devastation on an epic scale in our consciousness.
The Now has become simply an extension of the past, protruding into the future, with you and I sitting rather uncomfortably faced with our present.
Reverence and wonder is sacrificed to paying homage daily to a despised, but nonetheless revered god of normalcy. No longer are we the creators, but now we are turned to the need to make life one big pharmacy dispensing machine, giving out one medication after another to cover over this pain of the loss of our true creative power. All of life then at root becomes about assuaging this very real, but well hidden pain of this loss, while we are mostly too medicated to even see this layer of reality.
We lost the moment. We lost our power. We simply give it away every single moment of every single day, until something awakens in us.
I find I can write passionately about this truth, crafting words to attempt to drive home my point, but truth be told, the more I feel the reality I just described, the less I feel like any master over it. I awaken to thumb away here on my iPad to reach for a drink from my own well, from my own Higher Self, to receive an awareness altering message in order to face my own inner freight train of my preconstructed looking glass. The very next moment is right there before me, virgin, without guile, and yet wanting to play in whatever innocence we can feel together, yet there is also the very real threat of the moment being seized, by ‘the agency’, like the last one and the one before that.
Near as I am able to now tell, having wrestled with this false god for some time, in a variety of spiritual settings, there actually isn’t anything to master here, or to overcome. What I have actually discovered is that the attempt to master some life altering spirituality in the name of overcoming an unwanted limiting pattern and predisposition is actually to strengthen, rather than diminish its reality inside of us. What we resist persists.
Instead, I am invited to assume my Higher Self’s position and feel the parts of me who hold these limiting beliefs and values that they cling to. Here, I discover very beautiful reasons they hold for clinging to old patterns so tenaciously. Only as I feel these parts of me and their sacred ‘why’s’ for feeling what they do, and why they energize the barriers to the moment that they do am I afforded any real shifts in my life. Only as the parts of me that live inside of me find new values and beliefs that they adopt of their own free will and sovereignty, am I actually afforded any lightening or shortening of the moment-crashing freight train inside of me.
I am invited to turn the passion of the ‘fight to overcome’ into a heart campaign to claim the previously unknown and unwanted parts of myself. My passion will still surely be called upon, but with a whole new set of values and beliefs to guide them. The warrior within will still have plenty of territory to express and transform, albeit inside of a letting-in reality, over a keeping-out reality.
I get the dawning awareness that this may well keep me busy the rest of this life, that this actually is what life is, to bring awareness to every moment in this way. If I did succeed to the point of no longer needing this practice, I may well have lost the whole point of being here, which is to keep letting in the love that I am. Quite possibly, the best place to gain the most traction and momentum in living my way into this new reality is from right here on Gaia.
I mean, if it were not so, wouldn’t you and I be somewhere else, doing something different with our sacred power?
Read more about enculturating a new way of life inside of you at:soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions. We would love to have your inquiry into SoulFullHeart’s new program offerings ‘FREE, PREP and DEEP’.
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.