By Jelelle Awen
“Forgive me, Father, as I forgive you…” This prayer came to me today as I was tuning into Divine Father frequencies in preparation for our women’s group call with Kasha this Sunday where we will share about healing the false father wound to let in Divine Father.
The religious version, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned,” is what originally came through today, feeling like a relic from many lifetimes of confessional, shame-based worship and self inquiry rooted in unworthiness.
Feeling sinful and asking a punitive Father God for forgiveness/to be deemed worthy enough for ‘Heaven’ is a program that can be challenging to deprogram from, as wired up as we are from the Matrix to believe that we are bad, wrong, and sinful. This programming actually blocks us from receiving TRUE and pure forgiveness frequencies from the Divine Father that empower us to experience Heaven within us.
As we unplug from this False Father programming, we are able to have and embody growing autonomy, self love, self worth, and our own goodness…and experience of our OWN Divinity. Yet, this programming runs deep. Beyond the religious programming, it has also been showing itself in the rampant abuses on all levels between mostly male gurus/spiritual teachers and their followers. This abuse is being exposed more, yet still so many vulnerable wounded daughters especially are drawn into the seduction of a holy father in the flesh that finally accepts, sees, and wants them (even if in very inappropriate ways at times.)
I am still digesting, even years later, my own experience of this kind of false father/teacher relationship with a former teacher of mine. I will share more about this in the women’s call… how I recovered, what I learned from it, and my process of forgiving him and myself.
While connecting with Divine Mother is very natural and fluid for me, it has been more challenging for me to commune with Divine Father. The blocks have also come from the woundings/traumas from an absentee birth father and series of mixed step-father experiences. I’ve also had some lifetimes as a nun in devotion to the Holy Father and as a devotee to male gurus/teachers that I have needed to heal and reconcile.
Letting in Divine Father has deepened for me over the years as I clear and feel these blocks/fears/resistances within parts of me and soul aspects. Divine Mother has been a bridge to this as She shows me how to love Him again and receive His love. As my Divine Daughter arises to accept love and embrace from the Divine Father, I often find there is more forgiveness to be exchanged from my heart to His and to then receive from Him.
So, today it was, “Forgive me Father as I forgive you,” and my Inner Daughter is still in process of this, for which He readily forgives….and offers His ever ongoing love to allow the healing process to deepen and continue.
Join us on Sunday, March 30th at 5:00pm BST/12:00pm EDT/9:00am PDT for the two hour women’s group call to explore the false father wound through teachings, a guided meditation journey, and sharings. You can offer whatever donation amount you would like to (usual is around $10 CAD) at soulfullheart.org/shop or paypal.me/jelelleawen and we will email you the zoom link and the recording afterwards. More info at soulfullheart.org/events.
Love from Avalon,