This last, and final, part of this love story shows the process of finally choosing myself. I gave my relationship everything I had, heart and soul, but ultimately I had to choose what I needed to feel whole, empowered, loved and supported. Love stories don’t always end in separation, and sometimes they even come back together. But the most important love through any kind of relationship is the love you have for yourself.
I have learned so many things about myself in each relationship cycle that I go through, but the biggest one I learned this time around is how I have related to my romantic partners. The biggest energies that present themselves are my inner mother and inner teenager. I have found that it’s so easy for me to feel like my beloved is my best friend that I can have comfortable fun around. The other moments are filled by my inner mother who wants nothing more than to make others feel loved and taken care of in every given moment.
These are beautiful parts of myself that have done nothing wrong, but limiting myself to these energies have prevented me from expressing fully as a woman in all of my layers and gifts. I’ve been more teenager and mother than I have lover and because of that, it’s been easy to keep others from becoming truly intimate with me. I’ve been working with these parts of me so deeply the last four months and I’m feeling such an incredible difference already.
I’m a day late to international women’s day but this felt like the perfect time to celebrate my decision to choose myself, to heal the parts of me that desperately need it, and to open myself out to the many layers of my sacred femininity. I’ve taken in the templating from empowered, caring, passionate, loving and incredible women around me to discover what being a woman means to me.
From now on, I will always be choosing me so that my heart can heal deeply enough to love others even when it requires boundaries, truth, patience and compassion. The divine sees all of this within us and knows we deserve it all, so now I’ll see it for myself
Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and website designer for SoulFullHeart Healing, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about free consultations and 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.