The Safe Haven Within: Sacred Feminine Arising Guided Meditation Series (Video)

In an outer world that can feel so unsafe with all that’s shaking out in the Matrix, in personal relationships, and even in spiritual circles/communities, the place you have the opportunity to cultivate true safety is within your inner world. From that place inside, you can find the clarity and guidance necessary in order to make the choices for cultivating an outer reality and relationships that better match those frequencies.

In this video from the Sacred Feminine Arising Guided Meditation Series, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator/Teacher, Kasha Rokshana, leads you in a guided meditation to feel this inner ‘Safe Haven’ where you and your parts/aspects can find rest and recovery, but most importantly, a place of safety where they and you can feel held by the Divine and within your sacred womb. 

This video is a part of an ongoing series of guided meditations which you can do in any order you feel. Here is the full playlist.

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Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

What Lies Behind The ‘Normal’

This is an evening look outside our Airbnb window at a huge hotel complex, that reminds me of a docked cruise ship, in the evening here in Albufeira, Portugal, along with a morning scene from the beach, where Jelelle and I are so enjoying 5 days magical away.

People seem to be drawn back into taking vacations after the last two years of the plan – demic. A few precious souls can be found still wearing masks, but most are happy to continue on with the authorities ok to toss them for now, and then it feels like most people just want to conform socially, too.

I did! I wore a mask (always under my nose) in situations that I just wanted to barely comply so as to not draw attention and contention to myself. I get that others are called to be more of a resistance, albeit in a bigger play out of divine drama.

So it almost looks ‘normal’. And normal feels like a comfort for now, at least.

But behind the normal, one can feel a tension. I’ve enjoyed laying off the more alarmist news sources that I’ve been known to follow, and allow my frequency to move into a deeper layer of trust, but I still feel very curious about what’s playing out all around us now, as 3D goes through it’s necessary ascension, along with the 3D conditioning that lives in you and I, and the collective all around us.

Something profound is dying. But dying is not ceasing to exist, but rather energy being transmuted from one frequency of expression into another (and higher) frequency of expression. That is something all of our souls are yearning for.

So before we blame the powers that be and the elite for this dark agenda, we’re invited to see and feel where and how we are an inseparable part of it. It is your and my awakening souls that have yearned for this death and rebirth. Our souls have authorized and permitted the darkness to have its necessary role. The darkness will need reconciliation after it completes it dark deeds, and where will it find that, but in your and my opening heart.

We’re called to be ambassadors to the darkness, not to eradicate it, kill it, overcome it, or make it pay. There is that whole arena where these opposition energies are playing out, and this too is part of the death and rebirth unfolding.

But ultimately, we will come face to face with the darkest darkness and see a reconciliation point that we personally need if we are to make the transitions we want to make.

It’s a planned-demic for sure, but we all planned it!

If we planned it, we can also un-plan it! Reconciling our hearts to this higher ambassadorship to the darkness is where we get to live in our higher desired frequencies of light.

None of this higher perspective is in denial of the great loss of life and quality of life that is underway for so many right now. My heart is broken and finds it almost unfathomable to imagine what people are going through, losing loved ones suddenly and unexpectedly. We must feel it all, yes, but know that love and consciousness itself never invests a price so high without taking all of us into much higher places.

Life as we’ve known is not what is returning, but instead, life as we haven’t known it on a much higher level.

I feel so many abundance source codes here at the point where water meets land. People of all walks of life, and consciousness are drawn here to receive something, and I feel it’s a lot to do with the light that everyone of us is and are. The meeting of land and sea provides a portal that our souls are drawn to.

Radiating kindness to all souls you meet and exchange with us such a balm of the building trust within of this higher timeline, being in kindness, reminds you and those around you of being of the divine kind that we are.

*****

Raphael Awen is a Sacred Masculine Love Ambassador and Co-Creator/Teacher/Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Healing, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group calls, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheart.org

The Challenges Of Sacred Intimacy

Last night I helped a beautiful heart and soul sort out some deep reactions to a soulmate of theirs. When you are on the outside of it and not taking ‘sides’, you can really get to the root of an issue pretty quickly with compassion, curiosity, and a little bit of loving challenge.

But when you are the one in it, well, that is a different story. It is hard to see all the ‘blind spots’ or what we would call a ‘fusion’. I know these all too well in my years in and out of sacred romance. We get caught in our woundedness and things take on a whole new meaning to the part(s) of us fused to that wounding.

We see, feel, and hear things differently. We don’t feel ourselves and we don’t see the Other as themselves. It is a fusion/projection soup that distorts our reality and keeps us from the deeper vulnerability of what lies underneath. I have been at the mercy of this situation many times.

It is so hard to turn the corner on it by yourself. Not impossible but very challenging. Many times we need that outside reflection, query, and loving challenge to see what is happening in a larger context. It does need to be held by one that you trust to be heartfully honest as well as insightful. Now, we may not be ‘right’ all the time, but the deeper trust is that if something is off, there is enough integrity to own it and be responsible to it.

It is one thing to do it as a third-party, but quite another to do it in real time relationship. This is where the rubber meets the road when it comes to our deeper growth and healing. I still have a lot to learn and meet within myself when it comes to sacred intimacy. I am humbled and amazed by those that are in the thick of it, or covet it as their spiritual and healing path.

Between my own experiences and those I have been honored with providing space for, I get to see and feel where I too have been hiding my own vulnerability as well as my truth. We may be so good at reading out that the vulnerability takes a back seat. It is no small task to turn that one around where the tender heart leads and the intuitions follow. That is where we meet our humanity and our sanity.

I learned a lot from this exchange and my personal experience. I learned that women are amazing and brave at working through their emotions and finding their way to the heart. It is hard-wired in them somehow. For us men, it is more like a software program that we are still trying to suss out the deeper code and integrate it into our internal ‘Mother’ board. I believe we are doing the best we can with what we have even if it seems we are not trying at all.

I have also learned that we are just scratching the surface of what it means to be authentically and relationally human. I am getting how spirituality is our container and context, while our relational humanity is our teacher and playground. We are but kindergartners on this path we call ‘ascension’. This somehow makes me feel a humbled compassion for all that we have been through and all we have yet to learn and arise into.

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Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Re-homing, Re-wilding, Re-integrating

This past week I have been living in an area of land just outside a village near my soul family of feminines. They live in an apartment together I have been calling the Magdalene House. So, not quite wild camping by definition, but not campground, on-grid camping either. A bit in between. A balance between the domestic and the wild.

Since my recent completion with Kasha, I have felt a need to ‘re-home’ myself more than rewild myself. I do feel a draw to get more wild by going deeper into nature but for now, practically speaking, I need a balance for many reasons. So this itches a scratch and a need.

I have felt a split inside myself between polar parts and aspects such as the domestic/wild, the practical/spiritual, the masculine/feminine, and the calm/passionte. It is interesting when I look at those in this moment and I organize them by what came first and then second I get this polarity:

The domestic, practical, calm masculine vs. the wild, spiritual, passionate feminine.

Now there are other ways to organize this list but this one in particular symbolizes something for me personally. It represents an archetypal pattern inside of myself that has played out externally but is occurring inside of me from self to self.

I feel this re-homing period is about creating a space between these parts, aspects and energies to find a safe haven to come and be felt, seen, heard, and hopefully back into union. Being a part of a sacred union off and on, I have tended to focus on the bond rather than my own unification. I have had a history of care-taking that I am in still in a process around to shift into care-giving.

True care-giving is holding a line of goodness and honesty within oneself to bring an overflow of care, compassion, and challenge if needed. If this is not being felt and intergrated internally, it just doesn’t happen on the outside. It turns into obligation, compliance, and the dreaded care-taking that really does no one any good. It may solve a short-term uncomfortability, but does not address core need and growth.

So this care-giving goes internal now. It goes into feeling and bridging these aspects inside of myself through journaling, inner dialogue, and meditation. It is feeling myself and parts in their needs, truth, and desires in each moment. Any dissonce in my field felt as a portal to this reunification inside.

It is like a zipper. I am sitting staring at one in my tent. These parts and aspects need me to zip myself up into a cohesion. A unified field of masculine/feminine, practical/spiritual, domestic/wild, and calm/passionate. I, as Gabriel, am the piece of metal that bring them together and bond them in union to form a more solid pillar of Self, both divine and human. More real and raw. More me, less other.

This has been an ongoing journey for me that has just taken the time it has and the path it has. Any self-judgements just set me back again. Yet, if they come, I will it with them, honor them, and heal them with Love. I desire that my own journey around this re-homing be an inspiration or a guide for anyone else experiencing the same, especially for men. I know there is lot for us to heal and show up for in this ongoing ascension process that just keeps getting more activated by the arising Divine Feminine.

I am having some more ideas about the different types of masculine energies that live within myself and the collective that I will be sharing soon that may be a marker for other men who may feel the same. It is becoming a deep passion of mine to serve other men on this quest for Self, Love, and Purpose while re-homing themsleves.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Being Spiritually Practical

Am I being spiritually practical or practically spiritual?

That is the question I have been asking myself lately as I am navigating another life change at the moment. The Sirian Gateway is stirring the pot again and that has left some practical things to consider while at the same time letting them unfold.

When I have been met by big life changes, parts of me can get swirled up in a lather. I drew the picture below many years ago when another life change happened. It was quite the cacophony of energy that got kicked up. When there is no differentiation of particular parts it is all felt as a giant storm at times. Yet, there are individual aspects that are floating around in there getting battered and bruised.

I have felt my more ‘practical’ parts or aspects come to take over the situation like a tactical team of experts that come repelling from the skies to manage it all. I am grateful for that team. I need them. Yet, I realize how much in my past I have fused to that energy at the cost of my emotional and spiritual bodies. One big brain walking around until it exploded or passed out.

When I was in my 20s I had hallucinogenic drugs for the first time and they tore down the more mental and practical veil I had clung to like a safety net or security blanket. I realized I had a ton of fear and anxiety that I was managing with the mental and the practical. I was also preventing Love from entering my inner house at the same time to help heal that well of fear and anxiety.

Fast forward 30 years and I don’t feel the same depths of that fear and anxiety as much, but it is still there waiting for me to continue to meet it and Love it. I still feel my tactical practical team coming in, but I am wanting to take a breather to feel what has seemed to get set aside in those moments. Is there something deeper to feel here? Can I take a moment to take stock of this big change happening before me? What is mystical and emotional amongst it all?

This has just been one of my personal tendencies this life. I don’t want to judge it or make it wrong. I just want to recognize it, sense its gifts, as well as its burdens. For carrying the practical can be a burden to parts of us. As a man, this may come at the cost of my inner child and inner feminine. Two aspects that are intrinsically connected to my Heart and Spirit.

I am still walking and waking out of the matrix. It has been ingrained and conditioned in me for a lifetime and beyond. It is true for many of us, especially the masculine. It takes the time it takes to keep untangling and unfurling our wings. The courage we can receive from our Sirian guides and aspects can be a big part of this ongoing process that continues well beyond any Gateway. It is internal and eternal.

I am looking forward to connecting to these energies more this Monday when Raphael and Jelelle Awen host their Lion’s Gate Activation group call. Even if you can’t make it I highly recommend getting that recording for the recoding. More info on our events page here: www.soulfullheart.org/events.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Lion’s Gate Invitation To Emerge Into Infinite Possibilities & Infinite Love

by Kasha Rokshana

To move out of tight-feeling places, smallness, feelings of being stuck and stagnant, takes oomph and even a ROAR at times. I feel this Lion’s Gate is inspiring this movement in myself and others, this desire to launch off a springboard and leap into the air of infinite possibilities and infinite love.

Something becomes so normalized in our Matrix connection around feeling small and the layers of this take so long sometimes, so many years, so much processing, so much deep feeling to move through. We’re conditioned to believe that ‘this is as good as it gets’ and then parts of us can become very afraid to imagine anything more is possible. Scarcity is God. Abundance is something you can only wait and work for and it may not even come to you. Unworthiness is the foundation upon which your ‘house of life’ has been built.

I’ve been feeling my Queen aspect quite a lot lately and feeling a new sense of my inner masculine King as well. They’re showing me their stuck and fearful places and where they haven’t connected deeply together, along with what they both desire to become. They are heading toward a reconciliation within themselves, with each other, and with me, plus also with the Divine which is a connection they both want to embody more. They want new levels of collaboration together without pushing or prodding, just mutual evolution and dance with their own wishes and desires. My Queen dreams and my King makes it happen. And well, maybe sometimes it’s meant to go the other way too where my King is the dreamer/visionary and my Queen can help birth it into being. I feel how they want to have a new level of maturity around this together and truly stay in the room now without suppression or fear… and I humbly feel how that’s in process for them both and not yet mastered.

This Lion’s Gate seems to really be supporting us all to move out of the Matrix at a new level, yet with honouring of the sacredness of the smallness-settling/settling for suffering too. Feeling our inner dynamics between parts/aspects is a way to do this that really brings it all inward, takes responsibility for what’s been created in the outer world, and begins to turn the ship around. There’s nothing to leap over or to make wrong in the process of feeling it all and feeling why parts of us have been ok with that being their only possible reality. Yet, maybe now it’s time to feel into the steps that can be taken to move out of it more.

Your own patterns, if you’re anything like me, may have to do with money earning and a huge mountain to climb around stability being accessible yet also using your own creativity to keep that moving along even if you do need to lean into being an ‘employee’ of some kind for a while. They may also have to do with wanting to feel more centred in the infinite possibilities of life and of love, to feel like no matter what, you’re drawing to you what you need to experience to keep you moving beyond even the most subtle suffering loops about anything… relationships, work, soul purpose expression, geography, etc.

I feel humbly like I’m learning about this all over again in a way, and I welcome that because to me it’s always interesting where these layers take me and what I learn about myself through feeling them. Without suppressing my shadow and my own parts’/Metasoul aspects’ resistances to Divine surrender and timing, I get to feel what else I and they want, desire, need. I’m afforded the opportunity to dream anew, even when there’s mourning that’s needed too…

There’s so much for us all to launch into now, to see about our soul patterns and this-lifetime patterns too. The wounded visionary is just as real as the elevated one. The wounded healer is just as real as the centred one. Your parts are just as real as your integrated wholeness. There’s so much we’re invited to just drop-in and feel, to fall in love with even in the tightest moments and the most tearful waves of grief. I feel so much desire to move beyond any settling for suffering… and I truly hope, that on whatever level you need to right now, you feel that for yourself too.

Love,
Kasha

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Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Healing Perfectionism With Divine Love

By Raianna Shai

Perfectionism is expressed by many different parts of us, in varied ways and for so many reasons. I’m sure many of us can relate to the constant need to control the outcome or appearance of everything we do. The fear of doing something wrong or being judged for it is running in the background of our minds even in everyday, simple tasks. We often feel tension and anxiety when something unfolds in a way we did not expect or control. Maybe it comes up when you have reactions you don’t want to have, or there’s conflict you wanted to avoid, or you chose to do something that you realize others would judge.

Perfectionism is often used as a way to protect the most precious and vulnerable parts of us which has been so needed in certain phases of our lives. Overtime it becomes so ingrained in us from messaging by society, matrix coding from as far back as birth, personal desire to appear a certain way, and to avoid judgement and loss. But it gets to a certain point where it prevents those vulnerable parts from growing into their bigness and recognizing that they don’t need that protection to the same degree anymore.

Perfectionism for myself has been so strong my entire life. I strived to be a perfect student, perfect friend, perfect girlfriend, perfect daughter, perfect community member. And slowly but surely I’ve come to unwind this ingrained desire to avoid any and all judgement and conflict. Much of this has been rooted in the idea that I’m not good enough and that I’ll lose everything I love so much. The moment we separated from the Divine, we were given an underlying feeling of guttural and tragic loss of our home frequency of love and connection. So much unworthiness stems from that loss and everyday we try to prove we are good enough to the divine in some way, shape or form.

Freedom can be found in the moments when all parts of us are nourished and aligned: heart, body, mind, soul and spirit. When we allow ourselves to let in true divine love, we are then able to realize that we can truly do no wrong from the perspective of the Divine. This is really the only place we can find unconditional love and acceptance. When we let go of expectation, obligation and self consciousness – we find liberation.

Freedom for me was felt in the picture I’ve attached to this post. That week I felt the words from the Divine rumble through me when she said “You are my everything”. The energy and truth of these words started to unlock this strong hold parts of me had on the idea of not being good enough. We truly are everything to her – everyone of us and in every way. In the moment of this picture I stepped away from something that was bringing me tension and took in beautiful nature and sunset codes with my beloved Kasha and every part of me felt nourished and aligned.

Freedom is found when we take the time to remind every part of ourselves, even the ones that are hard to love, that they always have been and always will be good enough. Even when there’s room to grow, even when there are regrets, even when the future is unknown – they are good enough and more. And the more we see this bigness in ourselves, the more we can see and feel it in others. And from there, the love spreads like wildfire.

Love,
Raianna Shai

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Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and website designer of the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.

The Healing And Ascension Of The Divine Masculine: A Personal Perspective

During my time in Lisbon last week, I came to realize something big for myself that may resonate with others as well. When I came home, it took a few days for the buzzing feeling in my body to recede back to its more native and natural state. It was like the city vibration had taken a hold inside of me. I have had this before when Kasha and I lived in Porto for a month last year so it has been awhile, yet I knew prior to our trip that it was going to be interesting to see how it would all transpire.

What I experienced in the city was a sensitivity that I have taken for granted most of my life. Coupled with eating much lighter and cleaner, I felt like an unsheathed nerve ending by the time I came back. I didn’t have a bad time at all, but I definitely had an overwhelm that I felt was being a bit glossed over due to a part of me really wanting to explore and get the ‘most’ out of our time. A very masculine kind of energy.

I am not judging that energy as it was very excited and curious, yet there was also a real-time part of me that was feeling pushed, maybe my more feminine side. My flow state and body were a bit ignored at times. This led me to realize how much my masculine side has operated from this place of ‘getting through’ or ‘getting over’ something to achieve a goal or outcome. I also felt control and anxiety come up at times, navigating a very busy and populated city.

By our return to the tranquility of our rural village, I could feel my nervous system and mental body a bit frazzled. I felt some judgment about not being able to deal with the intensities of the city as much as a part of me thought it could. In retrospect, I am amazed as to what many other people have conditioned themselves to be able to deal with in these kinds of environments. This where the smoking, eating, intense exercise, sex, and other forms of medications help to create an energetic buffer and wall to all the vibrations.

Since I was in more of a porous state in my energetic body, I realized I was also feeling all the things that were in the collective field wherever we went yet wasn’t as present to its effects due to my past density and ability to pack it away somewhere else. This is why I would always get sick in my early days and then follow it with the reintroduction of past addictions and medications.

There was a definite feeling deep inside me of something collapsing in relation to the mental and protective bodies. There has been such an attachment to these that I feel parts of me have identified with those. Then I realized that this may be true for most men, or the masculine in us all.

As Gaia continues to move into and through this increased photonic energy field, and the more we each continue our healing and body detoxes, the more the veil to all that we have identified with and suppressed are coming to the surface. This will make for a bit of crazy-making, especially for the masculine, and men in particular.

I needed the mirror and messiness of intimacy with Kasha to help me see and feel this. I feel the feminine is more intimate and in flow with this death and rebirth process. This is why this is the sacred feminine time to rise and help the masculine to be born into the New. This is not to suggest that the feminine is responsible for the masculine, but there is a bigger context to see and feel here.

The Feminine is increasingly feeling the need to heal and be in alignment with herself and with the Divine. The Masculine is in deep death and rebirth around all that has felt true to him for millenia. It is coming to recognize his own sensitivity and need to be more real with his own truth and needs. This will butt up against the Matrix-hijacked version of himself in the 3D and lower 4D frequencies of robot, soldier, warrior, and shadow king/magician.

I am getting how messy this process is and will be, yet it is all held in the loving embrace of the Divine Mother and Father. The Divine Feminine will act as the midwife to this ongoing birthing and ascension process. We need Her to help the Divine Masculine arise into His most humbled and worthy role as co-creator of New Earth. We need other men to take the mantle of this difficult yet necessary disentanglement from the Old Guard and the collective masculine conditioning.

This is not about doing it alone either yet there may need to be a period of necessary cocooning. We men have been more alone than we realize in our worlds. We have hidden ourselves away from our true sensitivities and needs. We have created walls where we need to be building bridges connected to our hearts, not just our minds and souls. This is our coming of age story. Our true Hero’s Journey. The one that leads us to intimacy with self and others as well as the Divine in both the Mother and Father.

It does not make us more weak or dependent, but rather stronger and more whole in our Being and Presence. It is where we truly begin our work as co-creators or co-rememberers of our Original Union with the Feminine, inside and out.

I feel I learned something profound in my time in the city that relates to the bigger picture for all of us on our journeys during these volatile and uncertain times. We can bring more certainty into The Field when we begin to shed Light and offer Love to all of that which has been forgotten and hidden inside of us. It is time for us to remember how sensitive we are as well as how strong we are as sacred human expressions of the Divine.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Sacred Spiral Of Healing

The path of healing in my experience has been a spiral. It is what I have witnessed with my beloveds as well as those I have held and hold space for. Trying to set a linear path is a need of a part of us to ‘get to the good stuff already’, to get on with our ‘mission’, or maybe to reach an attainment. In that way, there is so much that can get left behind and remain in shadow.

I consider myself a human being first. Everything else comes after. I believe we all have human pains that have been stored up and held onto for good reason. They needed to be sequestered to survive and maybe even thrive, even if in not the most ideal of circumstances. Yet, when it seems like all is safe and held to a large degree, these hidden pockets of energy, feeling, vibration come to the surface needing, desiring love and reconciliation that they couldn’t get when it wasn’t safe.

This is why you may ask yourself a big WTF? when all seems to be going along great and then….WHAM! Something comes out of what seems like ‘left field’ and you are bulled over with grief, depression, anxiety, fear, etc. It doesn’t make sense with what the external situation is! This may be the case. The external has become safe enough for these repressed parts to bubble up in the most unusual of times. It may be exacerbated and supported by the ‘energies’ of the moment, but they are not a product or result of. They are still a part of your humanity in need of healing.

There are some who know that have things that have been in the closet. Tucked away boxes and suitcases that they are consciously aware of yet have needed the ‘time’ to feel right to go back in. This is very intentional rather than being side-swiped. Neither is better or worse. Just how it has all presented itself to you in the way and time it has needed. The main point is that you meet it. Feel it. Walk the spiral path with it for it is your sacred healing journey and no one else’s.

I don’t feel to convince anyone they still have healing to do. That needs to come from each soul. For me, I know I do. On so many levels even if I am doing ‘well’ right now. Which I am. I may not have the deep pain I once did before I started (thank the Divine!), yet I know that there are deeper layers of my emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical bodies that have pockets yet unrevealed. Whether it is another round with my inner child, a Metasoul aspect, or existential separation wounding, I know that I want to meet it with the depth of heart and soul I have cultivated in this process. I feel I am meant to serve those that sense the same for themselves.

The Sacred Spiral has been around for eons. It represents so much of our own humanity as well as our Divinity. I honor this path something to be present to not just get over, through, or around. I honor all of those that continue to walk this winding road back to wholeness without leaving anything behind in the rush to heal or attain, but to just live and be in every moment whether it is bliss or a mess. Love is holding us in each and every turn.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Inner Teenager: Our Beloved Uninitiated

I have come to recognize in myself and in others, how much of our stasis or growth emotionally and spiritually lies a great deal within our teenage self. This self that still lives in the house of our emotional and spiritual bodies. Actually, they may even be in two separate houses due to a divorce between the two. A Spirit-Human Spilt if you will.

I knew that this was true 10 years ago when I started my healing journey. How much of a well this was and is still being discovered, met, and reconciled. This teenage time in each of our lives holds so much information about who we are now and how we relate to the world, to intimacy, and to Spirituality. Whatever our wounding was that stemmed from early childhood was like an exposed nerve ending that was cauterized through our teenage experiences.

We actually stopped growing in our emotional maturation. I personally put on the 3D ‘adult’ pants and tried to fit into that traditional mold of ‘get-a-career’. Next came a marriage, then a baby. All the while the teenager lived-on on the inside. He did the best he could playing mature adult but would leak out many times in immature actions. Then a battle would ensue with my own punishing voice to get my ‘shit’ together.

Others may have taken on the spiritual route earlier and stayed away from more 3D type jobs and found a less ‘stable’ environment from which to live yet be free of the Matrix while still being a part of its clutches. A teenage relationship to Spirituality grew that was disconnected from its human pain and a shell of a true integrated spirituality was born.

Maybe it was a blend of the two.

Either way, our unfelt and integrated teenager has been at the helm of our growth trajectory deciding what is and isn’t acceptable. He or she has decided that they own the keys to the car now and it is up to them what happens next. This unhealed teenager is probably found most noticeably in our intimacy and sexuality. They were hurt deeply in these relationships and damned if they will be hurt again. Sexuality either becomes underexpressed or overexpressed and that can show up in their relationship to spirituality as well in the seducer and the seductress.

We were most susceptible to influence and hijacking at this time of our life. We were also susceptible to hiding and fighting. Our relationship to all of Life on all levels was deeply embedded during this time. While our Inner Child may forgive more easily, our Inner Teenager has been less likely to, as it needed to be like this in order to survive and maybe even thrive. To say that we are still emotional teenagers on some level is not a judgment. It is a reality that exists until we are open to come into the same space with him or her and really be honest with where they still have the proverbial keys to the car. This is also not meant to shame ourselves or them for it. It is to heal, to mature, and to integrate the power that we had at that age yet has been distorted.

If you take a look at the world through this lens, you may see it all acting out from this place of teenage wounding and lack of true initiation. Of course, that is not ALL that is going on but it is one big facet. If you were to visit and feel this part of you, you may be surprised by what may still be operating in the background of your emotional and even spiritual consciousness. The goal is to help free this part of you from the position of trying to be the adult when all he or she wants is to be felt as the magical, beautiful, and powerful being it is and was. They have a role in our lives that is not about being in control but about being initiated into our sacred mature humanity. The more we feel them and even challenge them, the more we can start to feel the real spiritual man and woman we truly are.