11/11: What Do You Declare As You Enter Into The New?

Happy 11/11 Day!

This feels like a very significant portal day on so many levels. I guess I feel each one is significant depending on what we choose to put into it. Our intention sets the stage. Sets the wheels in motion on the other side.

One thing is for sure, what has not served us before will certainly not serve us going forward. So this is a day to decide what must be left on this side of border. When you enter another country, you have to declare what you are bringing with you. What have you packed with you that you are claiming as you enter?

What you bring emotionally/energetically into the New, can easily become the Old again as it attracts that dynamic, whether it is fear, scarcity, unworth, despair, or anxiety. You can intend on leaving it behind with daily prayer and mantra. That helps to keep mindful of what you DO want and what you DON’T.

But there is also a part of you that holds that energy and needs more than mindfulness. It needs heart presence. It wants to feel connection and companionship. It needs to feel a relationship more than just awareness. So what you can leave at the border is the looping and declare your healing. Once and for all.

This is a Reclamation Day. A Phoenix Rising Day. A Remembrance Of What And Who You Really Are Day. It is the deeper claim of healing, of journey, and intention. As with all growth, there are times when you must let go of all that has weighed you down and prevented your arrival at the Gates of Glory. Today you have only a small backpack or briefcase.

What will you take with you?

What do you intend on leaving behind?

What do you declare as you cross this threshold into a higher timeline?

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

11/11 Gateway: Intention, Intimacy, Indivuation, & Intuition

When I closed my eyes this morning, my intention was to feel this upcoming 11/11 gateway. I found myself walking on a path that approaching 4 massive Sequoia trees, 2 lined up on either side of the path. A gateway if I ever saw one. As I got closer to them I could see a word mounted on each one. Each of them started with the letter ‘I’ which I took to represent the number one…of course.

The first word was ‘Intention’. This made sense. What is my intention as I enter this gateway? For as we enter any gateway, the universe responds to what we intend. It wants to know me, you, and all of us more intimately. Our intentions pave the way going ‘forward’ if you will and helps us define an end place, even if we don’t end up there.

My intention entering this gateway is to continue to let go of all the ways in which I have kept myself from feeling and expressing my authenticity.
Who am I in my naked essence?
What leadership is still latent and ready to come onto the scene?
How far down the rabbit hole of my BEing can I shed light on and bring that light into my waking, physical reality?

The second word was ‘intimacy’. I understood that in my heart as “Into me see”. It is about being transparent with what is current in my Being. It is about getting naked with myself and others. Becoming more fluent with my emotional body, my needs, my wants, my fears, and my power. Intimacy is a scary place for our hidden and protected parts. The places that have been comfortable in the safety of anonymity. It is a dance with Trust that brings this nakedness out into the light. I feel one of the biggest fears we all have is that of being seen, even as parts so desperately want to be. Enter the Inner Protector.

The third word was ‘individuation’. This may be more personal to me, yet I do feel how this is something all of us are working on as we make our way through this dimension. In the quest for authenticity and intimacy, we are confronted with the ways in which we have conformed or molded ourselves to be in relation to a particular frequency or relational bind, whether it be social or familial. This search for Self is the search for individuation from what doesn’t feel like us in our essence. It is also a search for tribe that aligns but not remold our uniqueness. This is felt with all the parts of us (Inner Child/Teenager, Protector) that have their own reaction to this unachoring.

The last word was ‘intuition’. This continues to be one that I am leaning into. This inner knowing that feels like connecting more to the feminine within us all. This intuition sees what is not seeable. It knows what is unknowable. It is like following a leaf in a windstorm…you may have no idea where it is leading you until you eventually arrive. It is the essence of intuition to Trust. To go forth against the inertia of common sense while still remaining sensical. My intuition may take me places my Protector/Gatekeeper may have questions about and that is where I get to learn about who I really am and this brave new world I am ready for.

This feels like a powerful gateway into our next Next. Our new New. All of this is navigable with self-love as we feel all the parts of us in agreement, in resistance, in confusion, and in fear. With this inner connection to all parts of our being we are given the keys to the rocket ship that is made to take us Home.

****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Playing The Game of Hide and Seek

By Raphael Awen

In your seeking and awakening journey, a surprising finding occurs that ripples through your entire being.

You come to realize that not only are you the one with the desire to expand, to grow, to discover, to awaken, but that you are also the one responsible for your hiding and sleeping.

I believe that as a soul journeying through the illusion of time, you hid (past tense) your essence, so that you could rediscover (present tense) this essence and go on to become (future tense) something that you already were and never actually lost.

You can see this dynamic looking at your life journey so far, you can see it when looking at what you know as your soul journey. You can see it when you look at how you are journeying through a single day, or a single moment.

It’s like I’m in the boat, tossed to and fro on the stormy seas, only to realize that this grand tempest is inside of a teapot with none but my own hand on the handle.

But what then would be the purpose of all the dharma, the drama, and the trauma along the way? This is the bigger quest and question we are left with on the other side of this pivotal discovery, that I fear we best not be too quick to satisfy the quest of which with short pat answers lest we fall back asleep.

My deepest suspicion so far in an attempt to respond to this quest is that it has something to do with beginning to feel the edges of an awe and wonder that arises as I cycle in this phasing in and out of this ongoing forgetting and remembering.

Could it be that this is the process whereby infinite love is coming to know itself, through me and my up till now perceived ‘insignificant’ life?

And just how would this infinite love want to come to know itself through such an arrangement?

I believe that infinite love comes to know itself (satisfy its quest) in any moment that you as a conscious being reach out in love to another conscious being. We could call this making love in the truest sense of the phrase, as in how ‘Adam knew Eve’ in the biblical sense. This is love having a ‘from’ and a ‘to’ transaction that it couldn’t have were it not for a forgetting and a remembering. Both are equally necessary and both are equally sacred, and what they make for is something we call process. Love forgot (gave up something) in order to remember (bring back into membership). Love stepped out of itself in order to step back into itself.

And what ‘other’ conscious being would be the best one to reach out to? Your children, your friend, your mate, your siblings, or humanity in general possibly? These are ‘others’ right?

But wait, you’ve skipped over you. You are full of others awaiting your lovemaking. Your Inner Protector has been largely living your life as you in this absence of your now presenting higher self on the scene. You Inner Child who so wants to come back out to re-in-form your world with play awaits your outreach. Your Inner Teenager who wreaks havoc in your world from time to time only wants your attention in exchange for an energy source you’ve truly been missing.

Skipping over these others from within to reach out to the others without would have been deemed selfless up till now. Now, however, we are all seeing the falseness of attempting to give love to an other that we haven’t first given to ourselves – the many selves that live in our psyche and soul consciousness.

You get to make love with yourself. Truly, magically, profoundly. It’s about coming to terms in ongoing process and negotiation with a limitless world. You didn’t come here to awaken in a single moment. You came here to feel process, to feel each moment of the journey.

You have everything you need and the only valid teacher now is the one who helps you realize you need nothing. The phase of our codependence on teachers and belief systems, was necessary, but is now coming to a close for many souls who are at this stage in their process of coming to terms with being infinite love.

The love wants to flow and dance. Let it begin with you.

Raphael Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.Com/sessions

I’d love to help you find your inner guidance if who I am and what I offer calls to you. The link above will take you to more in-form-ation. 🙂

Photo courtesy of https://unsplash.com/@elijahdhiett

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Journey Of The Ascending Masculine: Sometimes You Have To Be The ‘Bad Guy’ In Order To Be The ‘Real Guy’

A man’s emotional maturation and spiritual journey inevitably comes to a crossroad with his relationship to his mother.

I write about this today because I was recently contacted by my own mother and could feel the old energies of guilt and shame that underlied the old dynamic between us and within her. These were very subtle and yet not so subtle energies.

On the outside, or from another consciousness, one would view me as an awful son for drawing my boundaries I did years ago and choosing not to communicate unless we were in a similar transactional frequency. This recent message was a clear indicator that nothing much has changed.

The timing was auspicious as well as I had just had a process not just a few days ago where I felt more residual energies in my emotional and psychic bodies in regards to my mother and how her wounding affected me as a young boy and have lived in me through my inner child and inner teenager.

These frequencies of guilt and shame are huge energetic anchors that serve no one’s growth yet are portals into that very thing. The process was to say no more to those frequencies and to feel the part of me that needed to be a bit matter of fact about how it all made him feel growing up.

This is a big part of any man’s journey. Saying no more to what has lived between us and our mothers that has not been healthy. These can be really subtle the more you keep going in, especially when you are in an intimate, romantic relationship with a woman. There is stuff that has a very long shelf life unless we keep up the conscious exploration within.

The dichotomy of a man’s journey is that he needs to seek individuation from mom while entering The Mother at the same time. Moving from one womb to another. This can be a bit of a maddening process and one that I want women to have a perspective on to understand what this is like for the men in their lives. Not and excuse, mind you, just an understanding.

Sometimes this individuation process can come while in proximal relationship to our mothers, and other times it is just not possible. Some of the triggered responses can be how we could do such a thing to someone who did all they could for us and gave birth to us. Therein lies the trap. The guilt and shame.

I am grateful for all my mother did for me, and even in this process, continues to do so. However, birthing does not give permission to retain a free pass into my emotional body. It prevents any of us from arising into the man we ARE and having the kinds of sacred unions with women that no longer perpetuate this dynamic.

Sometimes you have to be the ‘bad guy’ in order to be the ‘real guy’.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Authentic Masculinity & The Return To King

Authenticity and masculinity.

These are two roads that are intersecting for me recently. They are actually running parallel seeking to become one. As my inner work continues with my own personal sessions, I am finding this nexus of authentic, masculine leadership to be my next going on place. It reverberates with a lot of questions and curiosities.

Who is this authentic masculine within?
When has it showed up and when has it not?

These are self-loving questions and not a judgement as to when it hasn’t.

As a man that has realized his own inner feminine leanings, this is sacred ground. I have been feeling my inner feminine, Geneveive, becoming more comfortable in my heart as an integral part of who I am as a man. With this relaxing, the suppressed masculine within is coming to the surface to find His authentic place on the throne next to her.

As with any suppressed masculine, it comes with an edgy, maybe even defensive, energy, as it has not really had much practice being out in the world. As that energy comes into me I feel this a part of me. His name is Sarge (for Sergeant). As repressed masculine, he came to me as an inner punisher. Yelling and judging to be heard. That was a deep process of feeling him and his vulnerabilities and needs.

What I felt recently in my session with Jelelle, was how this authentic masculine energy had been neutralized in protection against my father’s rage and the perception of my mother’s fragility. A dynamic that stunted this initiation into the world. In some ways, at the age of 48, I feel like this is the beginning of this initiation. I had to be with some reaction to that only to feel how this is the way it has just played itself out.

In this initiation, I am dropping this old relationship to Woman (via Mom) and Man (via Dad) to feel what my authentic masculine leadership needs/wants as well as its effect on my feminine and younger parts. It is a process of moving from Knight to King on the chessboard of growth. I feel the kings of my Metasoul eager to guide me and activate me on this journey.

In the past this felt like a scared place, but now it feels sacred. It feels natural and ripe. With is comes uncertainty and unpredictability, but that feels alive to this arising masculine. It is the wounded masculine that seeks order and the known. The true King has the Order within and brings that energy to all that is around Him. I feel Divine Father in this moment than I ever have.

It is this Return to King that I want to make transparent to all the men that feel this in their hearts and souls. It is from this place that I seek to serve and lead. Amen.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Anxiety: A Peek Into The SoulFullHeart Process

By Raianna Shai

A couple of nights ago, I experienced anxiety in a way that I hadn’t in quite a long time. One thing that was very different this time was simply my awareness of it. I never totally realized that I had quite a bit of anxiety in the past. I always thought that because it wasn’t inherently debilitating that I was just an overthinker.

But I feel that this experience is quite prevalent in most of us, and is a mix of different relationships between parts of us.

For myself, it felt like my inner child feeling scared of “getting in trouble”. She wants so badly to love, feel joy and play in the beauty of life. But when things happen in my life that are more “adult” and difficult, my Protector will put her out front so that it’s harder for others to get mad at me. Who really wants to yell at a child?

My Inner Protector also has fear, for getting in trouble means he has somehow failed me. So he tends to try and avoid these situations as much as possible in order to protect my other parts such as my inner child.

Then my Inner Punisher comes into play by judging my Inner Child for getting something wrong in the first place. For he’s constantly looking for things that she could improve. When deep down, he really just judges himself for the way he feels he has to be.

All this to say that no matter how bad my anxiety or depression gets, the biggest thing that gets me through and allows me to grow from the situation is feeling the dynamics going on inside.

It’s different for everyone but what’s the same is that all of our parts ultimately want love and to be heard. So if we take the time and space (if we can) to get to know these parts of ourselves then MAYBE we can begin to draw these feelings and situations less and less.

Here is *sort of* a poem I wrote to illustrate the process I had that night!

————————————-

Tears of hopeless frustration

Feeling lost in a sea of emotion

Stomach tense in fear and expectation

Anxiety takes hold with intense ferocity

Sleep is lost to the silence of the night

Tossing and turning with measured repetition

Then I remember the family inside of me

Waiting to be felt

Waiting to be heard and loved

“What can I do for you, my loves?”

“How can I help?”

“I’m scared and just want to have joy”

Says the little one

“I fear failure, that I put you in danger”

Says the fierce protector

“I don’t like this, and I need to to fix it”

Says the punishing voice

“You are all loved, supported and heard”

I say

“You, little one, need not to worry of things in the adult world. You are the joy and love I need to tell my truth with compassion.”

“You, my loving guard, need not to protect the others. I am here now, to hold the space with intention and strength.”

“You, my precious critic, need not to judge yourself or others. You were needed once before, but now you may rest.”

And with that

The child tucked in

The protector at rest

The punisher soothed

I sleep in peace

*****

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Finding Real Love When You Come Undone

Our hearts and souls are entangled. Of course they are. We are One. But I can feel deeply, and receive guidance about the nature of our entanglement. We are seeking how to authentically love ourselves as the Divine loves Itself. We have chosen Entanglement to work so many edges and polarities of the human and celestial experience.

First you come to an awareness of entanglement either with a family member, a lover, a mate, a belief system, a conditioning, an addiction, your ego, and the plethora of psychic energies and entities that exist in this multiverse. It is mind blowing the number of entanglements we have chosen to enter into in order to fully understand the nature and embodied experience of Love.

When seen from this place, the part of you that may punish you for getting into these entanglements can start to be felt for what is truly wanting and needing to be felt. It is the fear of becoming Undone. Unseen, Unloved.

Parts of us have become so accustomed to the energy of the entanglement. It actually feels like home to them. It is known and knowable even if it isn’t healthy or if it is limiting. These parts can go on ad infinitum until one day You decide You can’t. Then the unraveling begins.

The unraveling can be a scary place to be. However, it is the most real place and the most alive. In the unraveling you are held. The degree of that truth is really up to you. It does not have to be some traumatic event that takes you into an intense Dark Night experience. It can actually be held as a birth. A process over time.

The Dark Night experience is a fusion to the part/parts of you that feel separation, void, and abandonment. This is very real to them and yet can also be mid-wifed into a new reality by the You that was never entangled in the first place. Feeling that You arises simultaneously from the disentanglement. It is a sacred paradox. Your Phoenix rising.

As you allow yourself to become Undone, with love, compassion, space, and time, a magical alchemy happens from within. You feel the parts of you that have been in hiding, scared, in trauma, as well as the protected parts that are still in joy, in magic, and in love because they were sequestered and guarded by your Inner Proctector. This process of disentanglement does not start without them. Feeling their fears and concerns first and having a relationship with them is what greases those wheels.

I feel myself disentangling from others this life and other lives as well. It is an ongoing process until it isn’t anymore. No judgement, just understanding, remorse, responsibility, and compassion. Loss, grief, and fear eventually transmute into trust, self-love, and clarity. Next stop is flow, joy, and the blissful mystery. Sometimes you need help, other times you just need You.

*****

Photo by Heather Evans Smith
http://www.heatherevanssmith.com/

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Reclaiming Authority & The Lovelight Within

Your light can never be taken. It can only be given in order to be reclaimed or shared. You have always had authority.

The more I feel and reflect on my personal healing journey and those that I have served, there is something that keeps coming to me from up ‘above’ or deep within. It is this notion that we are ultimately the creators of our reality and experiences. This can be accepted to a large degree, but there are times when it feels untrue when we are confronting some of the deeper layers of wounding both this life and others.

However, before we can really let that in, one must have the permission to feel the part that felt victimized and traumatized, as well as the part that feels rage, guilt, and shame for ever letting such traumatic circumstances happen in the first place. That must be given space in the heart but not tenure. Otherwise, it is a cycle that will continue to perpetuate itself upon itself. A negative feedback loop in a way.

I am always in awe of any of us that have come to this realization after all that we have been through. No matter how you classify the trauma, you are the beacon of a brighter day for humanity. You have a Protector that has been vigilant in the face of great challenge and pain. They have kept the light hidden but never extinguished. Even the pain proves that. That pain is the light coming through. It has always been there for you ARE Light. You ARE Love. And parts of you may not believe that for it does mean that the pain does need a landing pad.

When that Lovelight begins to be reclaimed through this feeling process, it becomes your power again. It becomes your sovereignty even though it never left. It is just this time it won’t be used to highlight the Shadow, but to be cultivated and shared with gratitude, humility, and joy. It is at that moment when you may realize the reason why your soul took the path it did. It appears as the soil from which you were reborn…again.

******

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Gatekeepers, Protectors, and Teenagers, Oh My!

I just got off my first Intro Call with a very multidimensional individual who has had deep feelings of being trapped or stuck in their current situation. They are currently assisting a parent with life circumstances. This can be very challenging if there is an emotional and spiritual dissonance, and a deep empathic sensitivity.

One of the things that I felt was the presence of a Gatekeeper who is very active and present in our awakening whenever they occur. For some, this can mean a widened and deepened view of what is occurring beyond our 5-sense reality. We can be overwhelmed by the power of this sight and felt reality. It is a reflection of how big we really are.

But it can also come with a hefty price tag if/when darker energies make their way into the lightness of being. They are like moths drawn to the flame. This can be all part of a larger karmic playout that can be very difficult to integrate in our human, earthly bodies.

The Gatekeeper can go into protection mode and shut is all down, or severely limit it. This can be really hard to deal with and is why they feel like they are “trapped in these denser frequencies”. That is because they are. They are not meant to do work here in this dimension. They are a 4D energy that is meant to be accessed and related to. They are not meant to do human work. You are.

This energy can also extend itself to our more ‘this life’ parts such as the Inner Child and/or Inner Teenager. They can get very activated through fear and frustration as to what to do with it all. This is where taking some time and space to feel all of these energies through helps to sort out what to address, heal, and integrate.

While this initially seems a bit complicated and overwhelming it is just a map of your inner emotospiritual geography that we get to explore together to unravel the mysteries and heal the cycles of trauma and unworth that lead to self-love, self-awareness, and service to others.

Right now it may feel like a lot, and it is, but with consistency and compassion, these parts of you get to lean into the You that arises out of the sorting out and feeling. It is a journey unlike any other that offers a new way of feeling yourself in this great big world of Heart and Soul you signed up for.

I would be honored to be a co-explorer and reflector for you on that journey. For more information on our free Intro Call and how the SoulFullHeart process can support you in it, click on the link below or you can PM me as well.

Much love to you at this time of our evolution and involution.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Feeling And Healing The Inner Punisher In Service Of Love

When you are in a profession such as medical, education, business, etc. you are in a constant state of learning the new data, trends, and practices that will keep you up to date and on the leading edge of the field.

As a healer and a light/shadow worker it is very similar. I am in constant ‘professional development’ to better serve myself first and then in overflow to my facilitants/clients. Without me keeping dibs on my emotospiritual needs, I run the risk of a kind of malpractice in a way. This is not a form of shadow hunting, just being keenly aware of what my next steps are.

I came to hold space for a deeper layer of what we call the Inner Punisher. My current facilitants have had this show up for them at the same time, so it felt like a reflection to feel in myself. This is part of the development. Of becoming aware of what we may still be unaware of. The signs are right there in front of us when we are open and willing to see them, even if it feels uncomfortable.

This lead to a deep process with what we also call the Inner Father. These two energies were both merged as I had a lot of early childhood trauma with my biological father. There was a legacy of harshness and rage that had been handed down to the males in my family tree. It can’t help to be transferred from one son to the next. However, for me, this inner critical voice was internalized and expressed as self-punishment.

As I held this as a part of me, an Inner Father that wanted me to be normal and successful, I began to feel the vulnerability set in. I asked many questions to unearth what was at the root of his rage and anxiety. Once we got there, the tears began to flow for all that he felt like he had become as a mirror of my outer father.

He called himself Sarge like a Sergeant in the army. Both my father and grandfather were Marines and this was imprinted in my DNA. It has many Metasoul connections as well. I felt my compassion for him and even offered him forgiveness. That was hard for him to let in.

This is a deep energy that takes time, through rounds of healing and feeling, to get to the core of where the punishment comes from and how it has played out in so many ways. When it is coupled with a mother or father imprint it can pack a lot of energy but also a lot of healing. Our birth families offer us a lot of fodder for growth and transformation.

I have not been in contact with my father for many years. However, I could feel his higher self with me, offering remorse for what he was unable to offer me this life. That lead to another deep healing inside of me. I felt his old energy leave my field and felt a newer one integrate inside of me.

This has been years in the making and I feel a renewed sense of my own Gabrielness for lack of a better term. It is this Gabrielness that is the heart of my Service to Other. It is what lets me upgrade my system in order to let in more Light and Love to hold space and guide with compassion. I offer that space to you as well if you feel the desire to get to the core of this critical energy or any other energy you feel is keeping you in a lowered state of frequency of being. This is the reason I am here and the reason I continue to heal.

Gabriel Heartman
soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

We offer a free 30-45 minute intro call via Zoom to see how the SoulFullHeart process may serve you in your healing and growth. Click the above link for more info or you can PM me. 🙂

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.