By Raphael Awen
(You can listen to this blog post read out loud by Raphael here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VR5N7OVzxo)
Infinite anything is really quite scary to parts of us.
What do you do with all the flour in the world? Yet, with a cup of flour, you can bake a yummy cake?
How do we enjoy or find pleasure in the infinite?
I find parts of myself having been so conditioned in the measurable kind of exchange; where you get so much of this, for so much of that, to be feeling disoriented and even unhappy at times to be emerging more and more into this new world of infinite beingness.
It’s really strange though, because this infinite beingness is something I have wanted and prized even, having seen it though through the eyes of commodity and comparison. Then, when this new relationship with life begins to materialize as more and more as a default way of living, it definitely (de-‘finitely’) calls for some integration!
Yesterday, I went out to do a few hours of painting for our landlord, something I did as a career for over three decades. It was easy, peezy on one hand, all too familiar, humbling on the other hand to be ‘earning’ a fraction of what I usually once earned. I had this strange feeling of not really caring what I earned or didn’t earn, like it made no difference to me, which is of course very different to the me of yesteryear who liked to sit in a coffee shop early in the morning, adding up and prognosticating on a week’s profits.
The energy for all of that was so built in then, it just seemed to come out of the woodwork. I had to discipline myself to leave room for other things in my life, and not be a workaholic. Part of me was willing to be balanced, mainly because this part of me realized that I actually achieved more measurable and fulfilling results when I did so. It was all about the measurable quantities, whether of money or of joy, and everything in between.
So how does, particularly the masculine aspects of us transition from this relationship with the finite to the infinite? What would the joys and rewards look and feel like in a world immersed more and more in the infinite, in the ‘indefinite’, the undefined?
Do things like ‘results’ even come into play, and how do we relate to them when and if they do?
Love without boundary, love without measure, love without condition, all speak to this essence of who and what we ARE. We are this infinite being that chose to have a simulated experience with the finite. Here is where the divine is literally having this experience and learning through us.
We relate to this as an initiation, to be initiated out of the finite into the infinite. And that’s a really good word for it, because it is very initial, a beginning all over again. We stumble and fall before we ever walk, and the parts of us conditioned to results and professionalism and expertise can feel very frustrated in the transition, the trans-initiation.
We have to be willing to span two worlds, one that gave us much reward, where we were able to readily and even effortlessly marshall our energies in service of a goal and reward, to a world where results just emerge without our finite wrangling and dealing, where the result doesn’t bring the same assurances and pleasures in the ways that it once did.
It often feels like falling as this new world arises and the old one falls away. All our instincts are to restore balance, but balance isn’t what it once was.
What the equivalent of walking even looks like in the infinite world is difficult to measure or describe or to name the price for. All of measuring, description and costs per measure kind of realities don’t have traction here.
What does have traction here is a feeling. This feeling is a feeling of homecoming, of being Being. Of being reunited with the essence of where you started out from. Some big relief to all of the above described dilemma shows up in feeling awareness that the infinite expression of who and what you are actually PRECEDED the more immediately recalled experience of your time in the finite.
You are this big of a being to have dialed in this full range of being.
Now, we are in a place of being enabled to hold space for the parts of us in transition, to feel every frustration, every fear or anxiety that surely will and does arise in the process of trans-initiation. You were fully initialized into one world and now a whole new world calls for your initialization.
This is a particularly poignant feeling to be feeling of the day of the Lion’s Gate cosmic portal where the energetic alignment is in full support of transitions.
What gifts are parts of you longing to receive? What things are they longing to let go of?
If things like community, healing, and soul growth are on your wish list this cosmic Christmas, you may want to find a closer orbit with our soul family. One cool way to do that is to join us for our monthly group call, which happens this month to be later today. There’s still time to join in if you’d like to, or you can also receive the recording to take in when the finity of time allows.
You can find the joining details at SoulFullHeart.org/events
New souls coming into community is really one of the magical alignments of this new arising expression of the infinite for me. It’s just a portal to more curiosity and cure all around.
~ R ~
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.
The SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a virtual gathering place for community engagement, exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal here: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/ for a monthly subscription of $22.22 USD