There has been a week’s worth of journaling between my last post and this one.  I felt to share this one today as it is current and touching to me.

Christopher:  Good morning, everyone.  I felt like addressing you all instead of just one.  I could not feel any one part in particular that wanted to talk, so I thought I would just put out an invitation.

Simon:  Morning, Christopher.

C:  Good morning, Simon.  What are you feeling this morning?

S:  I feel rested.  A good sleep.  Though I feel a lot going on in my head.

C:  I can sense that.  What is it?

S:  It is a feeling of overwhelm.  I feel like I am holding your process mentally, like thinking of all the things that “need” to get done like journaling, the blog, the radio show, shopping, finding a job, plus desires like exercise, cooking, art, being outdoors.  I don’t know why I keep doing that.

C:  Maybe you do?  Why do you feel like you have to hold it all?

S:  I feel like if I don’t hold it mentally, you will forget something.

C:  Why is that important to you?

S:  I guess I am managing perception again.  Like by making sure it all gets done I will feel like a good SoulFullHeart student.  It feels good to me when you get good feedback from Jillian, Wayne, and Kathleen.

C:  This usually means a need is not getting met by me, Simon.  Can you feel what that might be?

S:  I feel like I am not as important now that Nathaniel and Angela are a part of your life.

C:  I know that my heart’s attention is being shared but that does not lessen my heart’s affection, Simon.  I journal with you everyday and we are always talking throughout the day.

S:  I know.  I guess I got used to real love and feeling it directed toward me everyday.  I feel like I am being spoiled or something.

C:  I want to spoil you, Simon!  I want to give you all the love you need.  But I also want to give love to Nathaniel, Angela, and Peter. They want to love you too.  Imagine that, Simon!  Not only are you able to receive love from me, but also all three of them.  You get thrice the love!

S:  I never felt it like that before.

C:  I am going to invite them to come here and talk to you if you would like.

S:  Okay.

C:  Is there anyone who would like to go first?

Angela:  I will!!!

C:  I can always trust your enthusiasm, Angela.

A:  : )  Hi, Simon.

S:  Hi, Angela.  : )

A:  See, too cute.  Did you already forget our last conversation?

S:  No.  I just didn’t let it in enough I guess.

A:  Well, I will say over and over until it does.  You are my hero.  You did life the best you could and you did it with honour and bravery.  Nathaniel guarded me, but you protected me.  You kept me safe and I love you for that.  I want to give you a kiss.

S:  Uh…in front of everyone?  We just met?

A:  Simon!  I am trying to express my love and gratitude with a kiss.  Where is my prince?

S:  I am honestly taking in what you said, but I just don’t feel ready for that.

A:  You are right, Simon.  I am sorry.  I am rushing things.  I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate who you are and what you had to do this life up until now.

S:  I feel that from your heart, Angela.  I really do.  Thank you.

A:  No.  Thank you, Simon.  I love you.

S:  : )

A:  Awwww…swooning!

C:  Thank you, Angela.  I appreciate you saying those things.

A:  Anytime. : )

C:  Anyone else?

Peter:  I do! I do!

C:  Wow.  Okay, Peter.  What do you have to say to Simon?

P:  Simon, I know that you had a lot of responsibilities up until now and I wouldn’t have my magical friends if it wasn’t for you.  I want you to be able to play, too, Simon.  You worked so hard at getting through life, you deserve to be free and enjoy.  I have always wanted a big brother to play with and I want that to be you.  K?

S:  Thank you, Peter.  I want to play, too.  I so much want to have fun and enjoy life.  So many times before my idea of fun was destructive and unhealthy.  I want innocent fun like you have.  I don’t want to be a stick in the mud.

P:  You aren’t, Simon.  You are a funny guy and I like that.  Ooo!  We could watch funny people on TV together.

S:  That would be great, Peter.  I was thinking we could see that Free Bird movie together when it comes out.

P:  Yay!!!! I wanted to see that.  Thank you, Simon!

S:  No, thank you Peter.  I love you, brother.

P:   Love you, A Cow Jumped Over the Simoon.

S:  You’re a goof.

P:   : )

C:  Thank you, Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater.

P:  : P

C:  Do you feel moved to say anything, Nathaniel?

N:  I wish to second what Angela said about your honour and bravery, Simon.  As I was guarding and hiding in the background, you were fighting battles in the foreground.  You are valiant man, Prince Simon.  You have strength and resilience.  I admire that and am inspired by it.  I feel you have a lot to offer Christopher and all of us.  You are respected and cared for, Simon.  Trust me when I say to let that in as deep as it can go.

S:  Thank you, Nathaniel.  I have felt intimidated by you as some powerful key to Christopher’s future.  I have also felt jealous.

N:  It is I that am jealous of you, Simon.  You have roundtable of love here, Simon, all sending their love to you.

S:  I am grateful to all of you.  I feel like a part of something greater all of a sudden.  You are my family now.  I want to let you all in more and I promise I will do so.  Thank you so much for this, Christopher.  It is overwhelming, but in a very good way.

C:  I am so glad you can feel the love, Simon.  I know it will take time to set in.  We will read this again and it will go in even deeper still.

S:  I feel like resting now.

C:  Okay, Simon.  You do that.  You deserve it.

S:  I love you.

C:  I love you too, buddy.  Rest well.

 My name is Christopher Tydeman and I’ve been embracing the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life since March, 2012. I am a SoulFullHeart facilitator-in-training, author on this blog, and host of the weekly SoulFullHeart Experience Radio Show. I was invited by Jillian and Wayne Vriend, co-creators of SoulFullHeart, to begin my own 90 day outing. In the next 90 days, I will be vulnerably sharing my SoulFullHeart process publicly. It will include journaling from one or more of my parts, my daemon, the Divine Mother, or all of them in one big group love fest. You will meet Simon, who is my self-image part or prime monarch; Nathaniel, who is an aspect of my Daemon; Angela, who is my newly arising feminine part; and Peter, who is my magical child. I will not be sharing anything they do not want to share, or I may process with them until they feel comfortable. This is a healing crucible for me, but also a look into the inner world of this way of life called SoulFullHeart. Visit soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.

Recommended Reading:

SoulFullHeart Map To Discover Your Parts

Connecting With Your Daemon

From Wounded To Magical: Healing Your Inner Child

Recommended Listening on SFH Experience Radio Show:

Awakening Your Emotional Consciousness Through Parts Work

What Are The Five Key Areas Of Life?

From Wounded To Magical: Healing Your Inner Child