You have choices that allow for the perfect balance of fear and growth. The more you experience this dance, the more you begin to trust and take on more risk. You don’t have to go cliff jumping, just take a zip line to the next tree.
Christopher: Good morning, Soul. I was drawn to have conversation directly with you. This is not “standard SFH protocol” according to Simon, but I am doing it anyway. It’ll be good for him.
Soul: You felt guided. That is all the protocol you need.
C: Thank you. Is it okay to speak with you?
S: I wouldn’t be your soul if it wasn’t.
C: Hmmm. True. I felt the desire to speak to you because of all that came up last night at dinner with Jillian and Wayne.
S: Care to let the readers know what that was?
C: Yes, of course. They have been going through a catalytic process around transitioning from painting income to healing alchemy. This means they are looking at the reality of giving up the house they live in and going on an adventure. SoulFullHeart on wheels. They write about it here and here.
S: Okay.
C: So, naturally, I feel a desire to do this with them. I feel this desire rooted in my past aches to be free of the system, free of being “responsible” but free to be responsive, like Yeshua talked about this morning. I have felt this from what I would call my soul. And that is why I wanted to talk with you.
S: I am so glad to finally talk with you, Christopher. I know we are one and the same, but to have this dialogue feels like it could bring a lot of movement and alchemy. That ache that you have felt since college has been me wanting to have expression in the world. You awoke to me by your psychotropic drug use because it cleared the matrix of your mind long enough to feel me. To sense me. To hear me. That ache in you for more was me. That creative itch was me. The desire to live alternatively, outside the grid of “normal” consciousness, was me. The draw to spirituality was me. The fire in your belly is me, yet ultimately you.
C: Wow. I haven’t let that in yet. I always went on hikes asking God to help me find you. To help me feel you and be guided by you. Always asking for epiphanies to enlighten me from my daily burdens. None came until SoulFullHeart.
S: You had emotional barriers to feel into first. You have had to reconcile those this life and make difficult choices to get to this point. These pieces about being responsible, being liked, and being a part of “society” are your catalytic crucibles. They are rooted in so many lifetimes. This life you were destined to heal those. To become a part of something greater than the daily bullshit shoveled down the collective throat of humanity. A destiny of healing, growing, creating, serving, leading, and loving.
C: It all feels so true to me when you say it, yet I can feel the part of me that is having a hard time letting that in as a reality. This part of me, Simon, felt that all he needed was another career and he would be happy.
S: That would have been a smaller step in this direction, yet the happiness would have been another medication not to heal this life and live your destiny out. It would have been parked in another stall just with better ambience, but parked still the same. But I drew SoulFullHeart to lead us out of the garage and into the crucible of real life. A life of experience, exploration, and excitement. A life of believable uncertainty that is alive in each moment because of its relationship to death. Death of what is known. Death of what to expect. Death of control. The death of a part of you to be reborn in your heart as an authentic sacred human being.
C: This is all so much to let in, Soul. I feel you underneath all my conditioning, yearning to be free, to be birthed. I want what you want, for, like you said, it is me. I want to feel your edges and textures more. I can’t do that in bubble wrap.
S: I appreciate you wanting that, Christopher. It is a relief to feel. I know that there are parts to feel and heal. I am not a pusher in this life, but I am persistent. I will keep poking you, drawing situations and people that will lead you to growth or, if you chose, not growth. I know you know what not growth feels like, but it is still a choice. This land of adventure is where I live. It is the atmosphere that I breathe and move in. If you can trust me, and the Divine, we can take you places you and your parts could only imagine. A new frontier of being in the world. One not without risk, mind you. It is full of risk, but manageable risk. You have choices that allow for the perfect balance of fear and growth. The more you experience this dance, the more you begin to trust and take on more risk. You don’t have to go cliff jumping, just take a zip line to the next tree.
C: Whew…I can feel my parts relax when you said that. I need some time to let this in and journal with my parts around it. Thank you for talking to me. I feel to keep doing so.
S: I am always here. Patiently persistent.
My name is Christopher Tydeman and I’ve been embracing the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life since March, 2012. I am a SoulFullHeart facilitator-in-training, author on this blog, and host of the weekly SoulFullHeart Experience Radio Show. I was invited by Jillian and Wayne Vriend, co-creators of SoulFullHeart, to begin my own 90 day outing. In the next 90 days, I will be vulnerably sharing my SoulFullHeart process publicly. It will include journaling from one or more of my parts, my daemon, the Divine Mother, or all of them in one big group love fest. You will meet Simon, who is my self-image part or prime monarch; Nathaniel, who is an aspect of my Daemon; Angela, who is my newly arising feminine part; and Peter, who is my magical child. I will not be sharing anything they do not want to share, or I may process with them until they feel comfortable. This is a healing crucible for me, but also a look into the inner world of this way of life called SoulFullHeart. Visit soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.
Recommended Reading:
SoulFullHeart Map To Discover Your Parts
From Wounded To Magical: Healing Your Inner Child
Recommended Listening on SFH Experience Radio Show:
Awakening Your Emotional Consciousness Through Parts Work
Divine Self Embodiment Blog (Formerly SoulFullHeart) 