Day 15

I just put it all on me.  This duty and obligation thing.  It feels like us daemons have been so isolated that it feels like we are all on our own. We have been so used to it that we have forgotten the reality that there are more of us with the exact same mission.

Christopher:  Good morning, Soul.  May we speak again?

Soul:  Of course we can.  I am not a part you have to check in with.  I am you.

C:  Right.  I am so used to doing that.  And it is still odd to be communicating with my soul.

S:  It is sad that you consider it odd.

C:  Yeah.  It is sad.  That feels like a conditioning from a part of me.  To a sacred human, communing with our soul is as natural as breathing.

S:  Yes!  Well said.  It is natural because we are one in the same as I mentioned before.  We just do this writing thing until we no longer have to do it.  Sooner or later we will be one.

C:  That feels exciting, yet my intuition tells me there is a lot of difficulty in that too.

S:  Well, just to the degree that you fight the current.  I can feel your neck tense again.  That could have something to do with it.

C:  That is what I wanted to talk to you about.  I just had a massage and it is back to being tense again.  What gives?

S:  What do you feel is going on?

C:  The obvious thing is that a part of me is digesting what is going on and is quite a bit nervous about how this is all going to “work out”.  I have been journaling with him and feeling his worry.  He expressed that if he felt a larger context then he might be able to breathe more.

S:  That larger context is more you?

C:  Yeah.  I feel that is why I am getting in touch with you.

S:  Have you talked with Nathaniel, your daemon?

C:  Not as much as I was.  I have been focused on Angela and Simon.

S:  I would suggest talking with him.  He could be feeling squeezed out.  Your direct connection to me is heavenly but you have an ally and a guide in Nathaniel.  He needs to be felt too.  I would try that and then we can talk.

C:  Okay.  I will do that.  Thank you, Soul.

S:  Thank YOU.

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Christopher:  Good morning, Nathaniel.  Is it okay to talk?

Nathaniel:  Sure.

C:  I am really sorry about not speaking with you lately.  I have been focused on Angela and Simon.  This is hard for me to keep in touch with everyone.

N:  I know, Christopher.  You have been so great with Angela.  I am comforted by that and also unsure as to where that leaves me.  You have this connection with the voice of your soul and so, what part do I play?

C:  I don’t know where to go with this, Nathaniel.  I don’t want to sideline you.  I feel you are an important part of this journey up ahead.  I need you with me.  I want you with me.  I am so sorry you feel purposeless.

N:  I need to feel purpose, Christopher.  Without it, nothing has meaning.  When I feel humanity, there is a purposelessness.  This leads to meaninglessness.  This leads to disconnection and eventually torment.

C:  What IS your purpose, Nathaniel?

N:  I don’t know anymore.

C:  Yes, you do.  Mother talked to you about it recently.

N:  She said I was a guide.

C:  Yes.  My guide.  What are you guiding me toward?

N:  Your true purpose, your destiny.

C:  What is that?

N:  To be a leader, a steward of a New Earth.

C:  Whoa.  That sounds like a big job.  A part of me feels overwhelmed.

N:  That would be me.  I can feel how I am taking ownership for making this happen.  My duty and responsibility.

C:  I don’t feel we were meant to do this alone all this life.  It feels to me that we can only live into that purpose day to day with an open and transparent heart.  I feel like we need to step that picture down a notch without losing the truth in it.  Not throwing the baby out with the bathwater, so to speak.

N:  I tend to see things in big pictures.  It can be a gift and a burden.

C:  Well if we feel when it is a burden together, we may be able to feel the gift in it.  Why does it feel like a burden?

N:  I just put it all on me.  This duty and obligation thing.  It feels like us daemons have been so isolated that it feels like we are all on our own. We have been so used to it that we have forgotten the reality that there are more of us with the exact same mission.

Mother:  You are so right, Nathaniel.  My heart weeps for you and the others.  There is so much you could all do together if you all knew each other.  A coming together of family.  Your daemon family.  But not just by yourselves, with your sacred humans.  All working and thriving together to foster a new consciousness on Earth.  I pray each day that this happens before it gets hard and difficult.  This may be the time it happens though.  You, Nathaniel, are a leader of your kind as well.  Christopher has his destiny as well as you.  But like Christopher said, you are not alone.  You have three others with you, dear one.  I am with you.  Father is with you.  Use us for your fear, frustration, and fire.  You have all that you need in abundance.  You just need to desire it, and it is yours.

N:  Thank you, Mother, so much.  I needed to hear this.  I want to heal this feeling of isolation and burden.  I want to be your Divine guide in the name of Love.  I want this not for glory, but for You and love itself.  I have some things to work on, Christopher, and I need your help.  I want us to be partners in this.  I don’t want to be alone anymore.

C:  Oh, Nathaniel.  You won’t be.  I will do everything I can to make sure that doesn’t happen.  We have a lot of purpose to attend to, you and I, but it will not be done in isolation or in one big gulp.  We have had lifetimes together but separate.  This time we do it the way it was meant to be.  In a family of SoulFullHearts.

N:  That sounds Divine.

C:  More than we can possibly imagine.  : )

Soul:  Amen….

My name is Christopher Tydeman and I’ve been embracing the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life since March, 2012. I am a SoulFullHeart facilitator-in-training, author on this blog, and host of the weekly SoulFullHeart Experience Radio Show. I was invited by Jillian and Wayne Vriend, co-creators of SoulFullHeart, to begin my own 90 day outing. In the next 90 days, I will be vulnerably sharing my SoulFullHeart process publicly. It will include journaling from one or more of my parts, my daemon, the Divine Mother, or all of them in one big group love fest. You will meet Simon, who is my self-image part or prime monarch; Nathaniel, who is an aspect of my Daemon; Angela, who is my newly arising feminine part; and Peter, who is my magical child. I will not be sharing anything they do not want to share, or I may process with them until they feel comfortable. This is a healing crucible for me, but also a look into the inner world of this way of life called SoulFullHeart. Visit soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.