Day 20

Your soul has chosen a path of a journey back to itself.  It cannot be bothered by worry.  That stops its desire for real love in its tracks.  As you have been learning, love is a flow of energy that cannot and will not be stopped.  It is what moves all things.  It is what grows all things.  When you align your heart to your soul’s natural state you are in the flow of Divine Love.  You are in my Heart.

Christopher:  Hello, Mother.  I have a lot in my field today and it felt important to connect with you and have my parts listen in.

Mother:  I am so honoured to do so, my noble son, bearer of the Christ.

C:  You don’t start off lightly do you?

M:  I start off where you need me.

C:  Hmmm…why with the meaning of my name?

M:  To set in place a reminder of who you are.  Your soul is meant for great things.

C:  I just wanted to talk about trust.

M:  Do you trust me?

C:  I feel I do.  My parts may still not be too sure.

M:  I just need you, Christopher, in the moment.

C:  Okay.

M:  I set the bar where it lies naturally.  I know your parts look at that and worry and fret that it is “too high”.  But it is not their bar.  It is yours, my love.

C:  Okay.

M:  Your soul has chosen a path of a journey back to itself.  It cannot be bothered by worry.  That stops its desire for real love in its tracks.  As you have been learning, love is a flow of energy that cannot and will not be stopped.  It is what moves all things.  It is what grows all things.  When you align your heart to your soul’s natural state you are in the flow of Divine Love.  You are in my Heart.

C:  That sounds beautiful and magical.  I want to experience that more and more.

M:  You can and you will, but it is a choice and a process and a willingness to be…?

C:  Vulnerable.

M:  Yes, my dear Christopher.  Trust can only be felt when one is willing to be vulnerable with the fear of not having it.

C:  Simon feels so much concern around all the pieces of this new world we are transitioning into.

M:  This new world will always be shifting and changing.  You must hold and feel him through all of this or else it will be crazy-making to him.

C:  I completely feel what you are saying.  This new way of living and being in the world will be quite different than the one he created for himself in this life.

M:  And new love too, correct?

C:  Yes, absolutely.  A new way of being with a woman that is not about avoiding vulnerability but leading with it.

M:  Do you feel how much that is for Simon?

C:  I most certainly do, Mother.  I can’t know anything with certainty.  Where I am going to be in six months or where Kathleen and I will be either.  I just have my desire.  My desire to live into love, breathe it in, teach me, move me, help me grow.  My desire to take that love when it is in overflow and give to others, through passionate compassion.

M:  I love hearing you say “when it is in overflow”.  It is so easy for some to give love away when they don’t have it themselves.  I want all my children to fill up their cups and THEN give to others with their whole being. Not out of guilt or obligation, which is just false “love” in the form of caretaking one’s lack of love in their own cup.

C:  That feels good to hear from you, Mother.  A part of me would have considered that selfish in the past.

M:  Then tell this part to be the most selfish being in the world.

C:   You just did.

M:  What are feeling Christopher?

C:  I am feeling charged.  I am feeling you in my heart.  I am feeling an excitement to flow into trust when I hold my desires and feel my fears.

M:  I love feeling that, my son.  I feel Magdalene wanting to speak to you before you go.

C:  Oh, okay.  Hello, Magdalene.  I pretty much know what you would like to talk about.

Magdalene:  Oh, yes.  I was with you and Kathleen all day yesterday!  Yummy!

C:  Hahaha!  Yes it was, wasn’t it?

M:  I wanted to tell you that you are a true King and Lover.  You held her so tenderly but with fire and passion in all the right places.  ; )

C:  Uh…thanks, Magdalene.  I am really touched by that.  I have my trailing edge triggers from our last incarnation together, but when I place them next to what I felt yesterday, they seem to subside.  We are so different together in one way, yet the same in another.

M:  What is real between you two will find its way, Christopher. You cannot hide or sequester the feelings you have for her, or place them in some rational box.  They are alive, bursting at the seams!  Literally!

C:  Magdalene!  Lol!  Simon has just run into the room and put his head under the pillows.

M:  Awww…I am sorry, Simon.  I can’t help myself.  I get all juiced up when love is being explored.

C:  I guess!

M:  Be vulnerable, my love.  She is worth it and so are you.  I don’t know where you two are going, but what matters is where you are at.  Feel your heart with hers.  If something comes up, bring it up.  No more hiding.  No more protecting.

C:  Yes, Magdalene.  I feel Angela will help me with that.

M:  Sweet, Angela.  She needs your heart too.

C:  Yes, she does.

M:  I am dancing to the sound of sweet love in the air.  This is a magical time, Christopher.

C:  Yes it is.  I am excited to be with it in each arising moment.

M:  My heart is with both of you.

C:  Ours is with you too.

 My name is Christopher Tydeman and I’ve been embracing the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life since March, 2012. I am a SoulFullHeart facilitator-in-training, author on this blog, and I hosted the SoulFullHeart Experience Radio Show. I was invited by Jillian and Wayne Vriend, co-creators of SoulFullHeart, to begin my own 90 day outing. In the next 90 days, I will be vulnerably sharing my SoulFullHeart process publicly. It will include journaling from one or more of my parts, my daemon, the Divine Mother, or all of them in one big group love fest. You will meet Simon, who is my self-image part or prime monarch; Nathaniel, who is an aspect of my Daemon; Angela, who is my newly arising feminine part; and Peter, who is my magical child. I will not be sharing anything they do not want to share, or I may process with them until they feel comfortable. This is a healing crucible for me, but also a look into the inner world of this way of life called SoulFullHeart. Visit soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.