By Raphael Awen
Part of me does. And part of me doesn’t.
Coming to recognize yourself as a make up of parts as opposed to a single personality is in my opinion and experience the single greatest step to emotional and spiritual consciousness awakening that I know of.
It can be seen and felt how, in our attempt to come across as a single personality, we have suppressed other parts of ourselves who are not at all aligned with our dominant personality presentation to our world around us.
While parts of ourselves can be suppressed, they can never be eliminated from our BEing. Many of us are now feeling the futility of any and all fixes rooted in these kinds of an eradication-of-the-self picture.
Psychology and psychiatry’s attempt has been to label the presence of our subpersonalities as ‘multiple personality disorder’, when we are now coming to see and feel that the real disorder is not the presence of our subpersonalities, but rather the suppression of them into an attempted and highly stressful ‘single personality disorder’.
Your and my difficulty can be traced to this stress of attempting to be a single personality when you in fact are far from it. The ‘you’ who dominates your personality may well see itself as a single personality, and even the only personality ‘at home’, but many of us are seeing beyond these bounds to see and feel that we are more than this dominant personality that has shown up to do our lives for us and as us.
Years ago, in my personal experience with a business coach and his program, I had become quite focused and elated with the results as I had doubled my business income in the year prior. I knew however that I was suppressing another side of myself in order to stay positive and wanted to ask him directly about it, half expecting a quick fix and shallow answer. My question was about how to deal with depression when it appeared threatening the focus and energy. His reply to me was a one sentence question that went into me like a spiritual and emotional surgery that I felt I was in a kind of recovery from for the next 10 days. He simply asked “have you ever considered that a part of you has a very good reason for feeling this way?” These simple words contained a deep and next going-on place in my spiritual journey, that in the next months ahead, naturally resulted in the dismantling of my life as I knew it.
I share with you those same words now. Have you ever considered that a part of you has very good reasons for feeling the ways that it does? …for being attached to the things that it is? …for being resistant to other parts of you? …for being shut down?
If this is true, if this resonates into your being, then I think you can feel it changes everything. All the spiritual practices and self improvement practices that don’t see this model of reality will need to be set aside for new ones that do.
The idea of ‘you’ ‘overcoming’ an ‘unwanted’ ‘addiction’ and ‘getting it behind you’ for instance, is all a picture from the Single Personality Disorder parallel universe you are preparing to leave behind. Now, the concept and feeling tones of instead getting to know the part of you who needs the addiction along with getting to know the part of you wanting to overcome the addiction becomes the new reality.
All of this hinges on an emerging awareness and consciousness of an authentic self, rooted in your higher self who would be willing to relationally get to know all these varied parts of your being, their individual takes on reality with curiosity and love, without therapy agendas. This can be likened to a reparenting experience where we are receiving the water of heart open love that we are meant to flourish in.
It has become popular recently to speak of the need for self-love and even to see that without healthy self love, there can’t be a healthy love for others. But what this picture has not yet offered is a way to transact a love flow with the self because it is still rooted in the single personality picture. Love, just like in valentines, always flows ‘to’ and ‘from’. If we are going to deeply embrace self love, we are going to need a way to get to know and relate with every aspect of our being.
Only now, as we embrace our parts, can we return to the wholeness and essence that we always were and remain, but were forced to let go of in the experience of becoming human.
If these words resonate for you and you’d like to act on a profound next step that you can verify and self validate as you go, I’d like to personally offer you the session space and process of SoulFullHeart. You can read more about that here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.
I look forward to hearing from you when you are ready.
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. You can make a one time donation to SoulFullHeart at https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.