By Raphael Awen
The universe is untamable. It is wild at heart.
There are no insurance providers that can underwrite the inherent risks in your participation here. When you suffer a loss, there is no claim you can file to get reimbursed for any loss of your assets.
You get to lose, actually. You get to suffer loss. You get to mourn and grieve the loss. You came here to lose. You gave up the experience and knowledge of possessing everything and spent it lavishly like a drunken sailor on the experience of what it feels like to not have. This is the souls journey of discovering the love that you are, that you can never lose on a higher level.
This is the stuff, you, and everyone around you, ARE, and are made of, regardless of your awakening or spirituality, or your culture.
When we attempt to tame our 3D worlds, like we all naturally do, to make it bite-sized or manageable, to lessen the risks, to build in predictability, we attempt only to tame ourselves in relation to the wild universe; we acknowledge, even if only subconsciously, that the universe itself is untameable.
Why does the wild fear the wild in this way?
What is it about the wild that makes it so fearful?
Could we live without the wild, where all was known and tame and predictable and safe?
Would romance be romance were it not for the wild unknown?
What even is this wild we speak of?
It is said to be ‘the natural state, prior to being cultivated’.
Is the wild you, then, the You who was prior to being cultivated by your present culture, the real you?
Is it the You who is underneath all of the cults you ever subscribed to and are currently a member of?
Were the cults, and enculturations and cultures all necessary to point us back to our truer selves that cannot be cultivated?
Did we subscribe to pain itself to point us back to the bliss we are?
What would be the point though of willingly forgetting who we are, and returning and remembering if it wasn’t to expand and benefit ourselves in the process? Who would surrender to the loss everything were it not for a clear benefit?
What might that expansion and benefit be about?
What would you and I be so googly eyed over that we would give everything we had to exchange for that something?
Even attempting to write about the wild, as I am here, is a fools game, for in so doing, I attempt to understand and know the wild, and thereby, to tame the untamable. Yet, somehow, playing the fool surrenders to the wild at the same time.
Many attempt to tame themselves through a form of obedience. If I can surrender to a power much greater than I, I can claim that I am the lesser, and in so doing, attempt to make the greater responsible for my fate. We surrender to the greater, and pawn off obedience in exchange for a false of security to keep this wolf of wildness away from our door.
Others try to tame themselves through awakening or spirituality, to transcend, and thereby to escape the wildness that lies at the core of life itself.
These, and many other strategies can work for a time, as we are given the ability to proximate ourselves to this wild universe, to feel into our next choices, but when we overstay at the hotel stasis, thinking we’ve tamed the universe, we only amplify an underlying un-ease and dis-ease that is at the root of our assumption, that then rocks our bodies, our relationships and Gaia herself. The wildness of the universe seemingly makes our next choices for us as we build courage to flow with, rather than resist the wildness.
The resources you’ve cobbled together, that provide a sense of security, be it family, friends, money, career, fame; all of it is external to the degree you haven’t explored and surrendered yourself to your own wild heart. These external resources can’t ever be that imagined insurance provider because they are external to you. You, as the wild, contain all the love and safety you ever need, where even death and loss cannot remove you from your wild essence, as love itself.
You get to lose, and never lose at the same time.
The parts of you that make up your personhood are equally as wild and untamable as the universe itself. Even the parts of you that attempt to tame your world are themselves untameable. They possess a wildness that can only be related with, but not tamed. If they soften and become relational and malleable to you and your heart, they do so out of their wildness, not an overlay of cultivation. They do so out of their wild hunger and search for the love that you and they are.
If you’d like some help and community around going to your next unexplored domains, I’d love to serve you. I’d love to serve you with the resource of your own authority, desire and awakening.
My truth is that you and I came here to feel, what we couldn’t otherwise feel from where we were. Feeling is the healing that awakens us to the godhood and personhood both, that we are.
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.