By Jelelle Awen
Happy New Year’s Eve! As this decade completes and I reflect on the last ten years, what comes up in my heart is my relationship with the beautiful, genuine, enchanting man that I’ve gotten to spend it with. This relationship has provided the experience of being in an ‘usness’ yet it has also been a powerful mirror to see, feel, come to know, and express myself increasingly in my soul bigness and leading with my heart.
Raphael Awen and I married ten years ago in March, following a longing to be together that had already dissolved previous configurations in our lives that were no longer serving us. We let go of a previously beloved spiritual group and all of our social connections tied to that group and settled into a new geography together. This picture was taken on our wedding day in a studio apartment in West Vancouver, where we still didn’t even have any furniture together!
We continue every day to consciously choose this relationship as our main way to grow and learn and serve….yet it isn’t taken for granted or just assumed to be there or related to in an entitled way. It arises as we arise….inviting us into ever deeper waters of transparency together. I feel so blessed to be in this exploration with a soul who so GETS me on every level.
Raphael….Thank you my beloved for this ongoing exploration into intimacy, vulnerability, transparency, sacred sexuality, co-leadership in service and community, parts/Metasoul integration and quantum healing, daily living as a sacred practice, embodiment of the Divine as a man and woman….and SO MUCH more. I love you and thank you for spending these last ten years with me…..here’s to many more!!
Everything for me in this past decade pales in comparison to the gift, growth, challenge, and magic of being so in life and love with you, Jelelle.
The phases we have gone through, even of ending the relationship this past year in a death and rebirth cycle, have renewed the lease on togetherness yet again.
On one hand, I have felt both stunned at the ongoing magic with no reference or experience point for it outside of myself, and no file for it, other that digesting it together, as well as allowing our ‘usness’ to inspire others. On the other hand, I’ve had to normalize the relationship to enough of a degree to be in it everyday, almost what feels like a taking it for granted. Between those two hands, I’m invited to keep feeling all there is to feel for my own growth, for our deepening service of love together and where that wishes to take me.
Thank you, Jelelle for being so fully here, in this ‘this’ together. I love you. 😍 Thank you for the honeymoon giggly anticipation of another decade together.