Inner & Outer Feminine/Masculine Union Balance

By Jelelle Awen

Oh, how the inner feminine will want to go soft at times. To cry. To grieve. To REALLY feel what is going on that causes her heart to ache. She will BE with the longings and the missing without trying to fix or manage. Then, she can feel judged as oversensitive or too reactive by others and try to suppress her feelings….usually without success and not for very long. She may lash out in frustration, dissatisfaction and sense of injustice that her feelings have not been given enough space when they haven’t within her own heart.


And the inner masculine, then, doesn’t know what to DO with her or how to help. He feels locked in and also locked out, especially if she becomes protective of her feelings and won’t share. He just has an impulse to solve it, as if he could fix himself if he can fix her. He wants to be seen and appreciated by her always for his efforts, yet also fears disappointing her and being inadequate. He resists her tenderness and his own at times, afraid of being hurt again.


This distorted dance of inner feminine and masculine seems to be so common, so conditioned, and modeled for us in so many ways, starting from our own parents. I felt recently new layers of sorting through of the inner masculine and inner feminine dynamics within myself, triggered by being here on these powerful Michael Divine Mascline, and Mary Divine Feminine lines. I have also seen these masculine/feminine sortings out in those in my small community of beloveds, in my relationship with Raphael (although we are in a current blissy merging phase after some initial conflicts when we got here to Avalon) and in women I have met with for sessions recently.


There’s nothing wrong in the push and the pulls, yet it can be challenging when these energies within are not on the same ‘page’, the desires are diverging, and conflict arises. This is the same mixed experience as what so commonly occurs on the outside in relationships as well. I have so learned that experience of relationships with others can’t be shifted into new grounds until it is from within. New and deeper possibilities of intimacy arise initially from within and can then be transacted with others rather than just a focus on the outside dynamics, which is so common.


I always come back to the inner union to see what its status is when there are mixed feelings going on. As I hold space for my inner feminine (however she is needing to show up) and my inner masculine (who is quite soft at this point), they can find their connection with me, the Divine, and each other. They can move into their dance again, in flow, and ultimately….as is always the desire…into balance.


This reunion within then flows into my sacred union relationship with Raphael with new grounds of connection and exploration now possible. One day I am in tears and holding space for my feminine and bridging to my masculine so he can be felt too. And the next, I am in bliss lovemaking and connection energies with Raphael. From within and then out draws the experience of joy, bliss, and balance with a beloved mate that feels like a deep merging even while you remain two separate consciousnesses.

The ache for sacred union is consciously felt in many people…a ‘mate ache’, I have called it. Yet, the desire for inner union of your masculine and feminine may be less known and cultivated. That inner union ache is powerful to follow and does seem to ultimately draw your precious sacred union partner too.

Here is a guided meditation with Raphael and I to connect to your inner masculine and feminine: https://youtu.be/nvi_m4i1KvQ


love,

Jelelle Awen

Join Kasha and I for an Avalon Activation women’s group call on Sunday, September 20 at 5:00pm BST (9:00am PDT) with teachings, meditation, and personal sharings by donation. We will share these Avalon energies that invite the inner masculine/feminine flow. More information at soulfullheart.org/womengroupcalls


More information about 1:1 soul initiation/emotional-Karma Trauma healing sessions with me for women over Zoom and here in-person in Glastonbury and with other Facilitators at soulfullheart.org/sessions

The Vulnerability Of The Masculine Relating To The Feminine

by Raphael Awen

The masculine in its ability and desire to provide is a great thing in and of itself, which we all have inside of ourselves regardless of gender.

Where the masculine gets into conflict is when it needs to find, maintain and suppress a dependent feminine in order to keep his gig working. Eventually this comes to a demise and both the masculine and the feminine are afforded an opportunity to restructure – vulnerably admit their fears, needs and desires to find a new way, or at least a completion of the old to eventually allow a new way to arise.
The masculine has a particular challenge in that it was born of a feminine womb and yoni from which it wants and needs to separate, to define itself, to be different enough to create attraction in order to be afforded a partaking of that exquisite feminine while it is trying at the same time to differentiate itself from and pretend to not need.

The more the masculine leads in the world with his power, attainments and capabilities, the more he is trying and still needing/seeking feminine love, as it is only the feminine than can give all that power and attainment meaning, yet he is not quite ready, or sufficiently aware to transparently and open heartedly admit the true nature of that need.

This dynamic takes a quantum leap forward when the masculine is ready to feel, ready to vulnerably admit need and desire to himself, his innerverse, his inner feminine, and then energetically and emotionally to the feminine in his outerverse, his universe – yoniverse.

When you get that sorted a bit, all lovemaking and love getting strategies take care of themselves, effortlessly as you have it aced inside, which is a very cool feeling for the masculine – doing something really stunningly well!

***

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of SoulFullHeart. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

Avalon Activations: Sacred Union Experiences in Avalon

By Jelelle Awen

Oh, these Avalon energies stir up sacred union within and with other as the Michael and Mary energy lines vibrate all around you! These ley lines of masculine and feminine energies are entwining and overlapping…..and then flowing away from each other again….only to return back into each other’s embrace again like lovers do.

These energy serpents spiral around the Tor together in a steady procession and then climax, bursting out on the top of the Holy Hill’s crown chakra…again, like lovers do! Once, powerful standing stones stood in a circle to capture this outward flow and redirect it within, connect it within the circle of souls gathered, and network it to the Stars and beyond.

We can bring these energies from the Tor now into our bodies and receive a template for a balanced flow there again of masculine and feminine. That which was once polarized can find union…and Mother Gaia shows us the way.

In this moment, I am in lovemaking afterglow with my beloved and feeling the energies of our sacred union dance move into new terrains and places of discovery from being here in these Avalon energies over a week now. Raphael and I had some tension and friction move through in the first days here….as many couples experience coming here.

Yet, we came into balance again, as we always eventually do, by going within and feeling our ‘sides’ of it. The parts of us and soul aspects (so triggered up here!) that need our attention and love receive it through the process of openness, curiosity and space from reaction.

And, so we return to Raphael and Jelelle again and to the steady transaction of love that is both brand new and many lifetimes long. I am so grateful for this soul, this man, this BEing who has journeyed with me through so many phases and stages this life. We’ve built up and let go of so many worlds together now. I am grateful to this king who brings out my queen with his devotion, with his kindness, with his directness, with his integrity, and with the HUGENESS of his heart.

Today, we visit the ruins of the Glastonbury Abby and King Arthur’s remains as well. And something else gets revealed in this visit and something previously unknown can then be explored and integrated. That is the reason for coming in the physical to these sacred places with energies that have remained unchanged for so long and remain pure…to know ourselves in new ways, to remember what our soul wants us to recall…to become the Infinite Love that we ARE.

Love from Avalon!
Jelelle Awen

Join Kasha and I for an Avalon Activation women’s group call on Sunday, September 20 at 5:00pm BST (9:00am PDT) with teachings, meditation, and sharings by donation. More information at http://soulfullheart.org/womengroupcalls

More information about 1:1 soul initiation/emotional healing sessions with me for women over Zoom and here in-person in Glastonbury at soulfullheart.org/sessions

Feeling The Fears Of Deepening Intimacy In Sacred Union

by Raphael Awen

When we hide and compartmentalize our deeper truths to ourselves and others, we are rolling a stone up a hill, that gets larger and larger with time. Eventually, that stone gives way and demolishes those compartments, and reveals much about our fears, our shadow, as well as our light.


I have found this as a pattern that has shown up in my earliest relationships this life, and also in my Metasoul family as well. It came up yesterday (again) in my deepening intimacy with Jelelle, where even the finer attempts at compartments falter sooner and sooner. Ultimately, those compartments are about the fear of intimacy, and strangely (or maybe not so), even a fear of a deepening and proven intimacy.


To a part of me and in my Metasoul, it is still like the deepening intimacy is the stone being rolled up a hill, rather than the withheld truth. Then ‘the truth’ can be used as a threat in an attempt to return back to safety, to manage the fear, which gets into control and manipulation.

I was churning on all this last night and got out of bed to digest with Yeshua and Magdalene as well, being the perfect guides for a gender and Sacred Union need. They both assured me that this is the growth edge of the masculine and feminine now to lead with their vulnerability and their truth, in that order. They were also kind of amazed that I would seek to first find that reality inside as the source of the outward manifestation, as this wasn’t the deeper conscious reality in their lifetimes here on Gaia.
They also energized so much gratitude to me for being willing to walk this out, which spoke deeply to the remorse and almost shame I felt for causing hurt or blocks to intimacy in all of my relationships, regardless of the degree.

This I feel is the new playground ‘I Am’ being invited into, one my soul has always craved and longed for – truer and truer Sacred Union within and without.

~

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

The Beloved

By Raphael Awen

The Beloved

What prepares you for being able to bear the beloved, is bearing the longing for the beloved. Belonging is one with being in longing, that starts from you to you, and only then provides the courage to risk all going in with a beloved, for only now, do you now possess the necessary safety of something you can never lose.

What enables you to dance with the beloved, is the dance with your own heart and soul. What drew you together is sure to undergo great and fearful change. How you relate with those changes is a mirror of what’s currently true in your deepest core of knowing and feeling.

What draws your beloved to you, is the magnet of your own inner tended garden radiating through all time and space. Fearing he or she will never come is only answered by continually preparing your heart chamber and making space, like breathing, in the even greater fearful awareness that he or she is most surely approaching, everyday closer, if you’ve set this intention.

What endures and can never be lost is love, for all is love and even that which is seemingly not love, came from love, in order to magnify itself. Your journey is always and ever the greatest story of love ever told, nothing more, nothing less. We all needed to be so deep and buried in the story; so lost and ‘in-character’ role playing, so that we could ‘event’ually awaken from the charade of our character in order to return back to the charisma at the core of all universes and cells and atoms alike.

We are all being invited to bear the longing of the beloved, and to expand our capacity to know and feel love, which is never to be satisfied for long, and is sure to kill as much as it is to enliven.

I write these words in my attempt to assist you in some way to be with the longing that lives in your heart, and for myself, to be with the ever expanding longing and joys that belonging with with my beloved, moves in me.

Happy and joy filled Valentine’s Day to all beloveds, the beloved Divine, beloveds in love, beloveds in waiting, and to ‘the one’ I am delighted to call ‘mine’ – Jelelle Awen

Xo😍❤️

Raphael

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our Patreon Page to send us love in the form of money: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart 🙂

Heart-warm Closure With The Men Of My ‘Past’

by Kalayna Solais

Last night before going to sleep, some really sweet energies moved through my heart space that I so wasn’t expecting, but I welcomed it all fully. I felt invited to think about the men I’ve been with or ‘almost’ been with in romantic relationships. The ones who parts of me felt rejected by for some reason, the ones who kept me in the “friend zone”. The ones I made love with or talked about making love with. The ones I wanted to marry. The one I did. The ones I “friend-zoned” and sometimes felt confused about. The handsome ones… well, they were all handsome, let’s be honest. And I loved all of them.

In all of this I felt how much I STILL love them. And a genuine appreciation for them, and whatever relationship we had or didn’t have. I learned a lot from each of them. And somehow, up until last night, parts of me and Metasoul aspects in other lifetimes too, felt primarily rejected or cast aside or ignored… or simply unworthy, not good enough, and made it seem to themselves like these patterns of “not ever” being with a deeply passionate man who can truly meet me in all ways, “stay in the room” with me, explore his King’s leading and trailing edges while I explore my Queen’s, would last forever.

There’s no romantic companion in my field at the moment. No prospects or crushes beyond the etheric ‘mate’ I can sometimes see and feel. Yet, I felt guided to keep feeling this through. And for the first time, I could see not only the gift of each of these connections I’ve had, but the gift of ME that’s come out of each of them and the ways in which they were each able to adore and love me, no matter how complicated it was or wasn’t between us on a romantic or even just a friendship level. My own Inner Masculine took notes throughout all of these connections, I’ve realized, and decided from each of them what he would take with him and what he would help me say “no” to in the future, even within him, himself, in my relationship to him as an Inner Father, Protector, and Mate too.

My personal process is so deep for me that no matter what happens in my life, I “mine” it for the golden nuggets, the exquisite diamonds, of personal growth and healing on a heart and soul level. I have looked deep into the mirrors of all of these relationships with still more layers emerging, and I’ve been willing to let that show me what the truth of ME has been throughout it all; which parts of me were hiding or activated and where/why, which Metasoul aspects were feeling the pain and the sting (and also the joy and lust) in their own timelines.

All of this exploration has been rich beyond measure and I’m still reaping the rewards of these inward journeys. It’s because of this work that I’m able to, for the very first time, HONESTLY say “I am GRATEFUL for it all… for every cut, every bruise… every loving touch, every hug and kiss… every unconscious choice and every conscious one too.” If any of these men are reading this (many of them probably won’t because I’m not connected to them anymore… but I know their Higher Selves are listening and feeling this) I want them to know how much I can feel the adoration I and parts of me have always had for them on many levels, even with the impact we had on each other and the fear-based choices that sometimes overtook the love-based ones. We’ve helped shape each other into the people we are now and I know in my soul that I needed every single one of you.

Maybe now we can move even more fully into whatever is next for all of us.

Much love to you as these Valentine’s Day energies bring out whatever you may need or want to feel through in your own romantic life or even just with regard to the Sacred Union within…

Kalayna

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart facilitant, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Gratitude For A Decade Of Sacred Union On New Year’s Eve

By Jelelle Awen

Happy New Year’s Eve! As this decade completes and I reflect on the last ten years, what comes up in my heart is my relationship with the beautiful, genuine, enchanting man that I’ve gotten to spend it with. This relationship has provided the experience of being in an ‘usness’ yet it has also been a powerful mirror to see, feel, come to know, and express myself increasingly in my soul bigness and leading with my heart.

Raphael Awen and I married ten years ago in March, following a longing to be together that had already dissolved previous configurations in our lives that were no longer serving us. We let go of a previously beloved spiritual group and all of our social connections tied to that group and settled into a new geography together. This picture was taken on our wedding day in a studio apartment in West Vancouver, where we still didn’t even have any furniture together!

We continue every day to consciously choose this relationship as our main way to grow and learn and serve….yet it isn’t taken for granted or just assumed to be there or related to in an entitled way. It arises as we arise….inviting us into ever deeper waters of transparency together. I feel so blessed to be in this exploration with a soul who so GETS me on every level.

~

Raphael….Thank you my beloved for this ongoing exploration into intimacy, vulnerability, transparency, sacred sexuality, co-leadership in service and community, parts/Metasoul integration and quantum healing, daily living as a sacred practice, embodiment of the Divine as a man and woman….and SO MUCH more. I love you and thank you for spending these last ten years with me…..here’s to many more!!

~

 

From Raphael:

Everything for me in this past decade pales in comparison to the gift, growth, challenge, and magic of being so in life and love with you, Jelelle.

The phases we have gone through, even of ending the relationship this past year in a death and rebirth cycle, have renewed the lease on togetherness yet again.

On one hand, I have felt both stunned at the ongoing magic with no reference or experience point for it outside of myself, and no file for it, other that digesting it together, as well as allowing our ‘usness’ to inspire others. On the other hand, I’ve had to normalize the relationship to enough of a degree to be in it everyday, almost what feels like a taking it for granted. Between those two hands, I’m invited to keep feeling all there is to feel for my own growth, for our deepening service of love together and where that wishes to take me.

Thank you, Jelelle for being so fully here, in this ‘this’ together. I love you. 😍 Thank you for the honeymoon giggly anticipation of another decade together.

Energy Update: 11/11 Codes Offer Infinite Love Experience Through Sacred Union

By Jelelle Awen
Energy Update: 11/11 codes are ALIVE already. All codes from Divine Source offer Infinite Love and the receiving of it, becoming of it, reminder of it AS our essence. To align with receiving of these Infinite Love codes is to feel (primarily) the densities, the traumas, the fears, the blocks to becoming this love so that they can transmute and clear.
 
11/11 also offers a preparation for sacred union codes to draw your Divine counterpart mate, deepen your current sacred union, complete unions that aren’t transactable in sacred ground, or illuminate the grounds of your inner sacred union between your inner masculine and your inner feminine. Next month, the Christmas/Winter SOULstice/12/12 codes of Christ Consciousness and Magdalene Consciousness come streaming in.
 
11/11 is our preparation to become these sacred union codes within…healing the polarities that exist inside, the inner relationships between masculine and feminine that have needed to be more polarized and densified (this is the template we received) and are NOW ready to move into more union and balance.
 
In this moment of, yes, afterglow, I am in so much gratitude for the connection ground that I get to experience as an outer sacred union with my beloved Raphael Awen. As captured in the photo below, it was so wonderful to let our Metasoul connection channel through into the present on Halloween/Samhain. We were surprised by how fluidly and naturally it came through after the work we’ve done to integrate and embody these soul energies. This was not just ‘dressing up’ as something, yet rather letting our soul essence shine through.
 
The deepening and richness of our sacred union connection is revealed and exposed over the YEARS, getting better and better actually. Not deadening, yet enlivening. Not flattening, yet enlivening. Not polarizing, yet unionizing. We are moving into deeper embodiment of our King and Queen energies together, beaconing out to others to join our kingdom of heart and soul healing….. and it is SO exciting to feel this grounding into our emotional bodies in a healthy way too! Many lifetimes/timelines are coming together for us in this one!
 
This coming together of many lifetimes into this one is a theme of 11/11 and going into 2020 as well, when so many of the karmic patterns our souls have signed up for finally complete and heal. For many of us, this is our final lifetime to choose a denser 3D reality to incarnate into in order to heal and grow.
 
Our work in SoulFullHeart with the Metasoul aspects opens up bridges to these other lifetimes, allowing for integration, soul gift exchange, and quantum healing of soul trauma. We lift together the previous veils of amnesia to gain quite easy access to the lifetimes that most need your love and attention. This allows for identifying the soul themes and patterns that are playing out in this life and other lifetimes.
 
You are so welcome to join us this Saturday, November 9th to experience these sacred union codes that we live in as a transmission from our hearts to yours. We’ll be tuning into the 11/11 codes and teaching about them, bridging to the crystal bowls to provide their transmissions too, and offering a guided meditation with us as well. More info here about joining us; https://www.facebook.com/events/2595514423846711/
or here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/grouptransmissions
 
Thank you for being on this journey with us into deeper grounds of sacred everything in this exciting time of transition!
 
Love,
Jelelle Awen
We also offer a free 30-45 minute intro call with Raphael or Gabriel Heartman to consult with you about going into 1:1 sessions. More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Celebrating Sacred Union/Info About Our Next Group Transmission

By Jelelle Awen

Your loving hands bring me back to me,
my woman’s heart widens to receive and give,
in this moment between us,
in this slowly arising dawn…..
it feels new, it IS new,
Even as it is ancient too….

~ For Raphael Awen and for the possibilities inside every heart, soul, body and mind for sacred union within and with a beloved mate…..

Love,
Jelelle Awen

~

Join Raphael and I for our monthly group transmission live or to receive the recording on Saturday, October 12th at 10:00am PDT for $15 CAD donation. We will be offering teachings, meditation, and a sound healing with crystal sound healing bowls to help activate your light body, bring in any galactic/ascension codes in your ‘field’ and raise your frequency for deeper embodiment to receive inner and outer sacred union!

More information here: https://www.facebook.com/events/467546737430726/

And you can purchase here: https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/product-page/group-transmission-1

Or via paypal for $15 CAD/$11 USD here: paypal.me/jelelleawen

Picture of us taken at Salt Spring Island during our recent Equinox Gathering by Saralyn Bliss

Falling IN Love

Photo by Everton Vila on Unsplash

By Raianna Shai

In the past few weeks I have been trying to find the space and time to write a blog post, finding that I have struggled to “force” something profound and meaningful out of me when sometimes just living is as profound as you need to be in any moment. I have so much desire to serve love to others and to share what I learn on my awakening journey. Even now, I have many ideas of what I could write about but the words aren’t flowing as easily as they have in the past.

So as I sit here with an open heart, energy and time, I decided just to write about where I am currently in my life. That is what’s most authentic and flows from my heart with ease.

Right now I am falling in love. With myself, with other, with my life and family. I am falling in love inside and outside. I am growing and changing and facing my fears as much as I possibly can to continue letting in all of this love.

My inner process has been focused on a feminine and masculine part of me who are also learning to fall in love. They both have desires, needs, boundaries and fears. My feminine part, who I am calling Shai, is emotional and passionate and a true romantic at heart. My masculine part, named Michael, is discerning, intelligent and has a gift of holding 3D tasks. Together, they are balanced and full of love. Apart, they are opposite forces working against one another creating fear, anxiety and projection onto others.

Because of the abundance of goodness in my life right now, I have been focusing on these two parts in order to be able to continue letting it all in. It’s easy for parts to get scared when things are going well. In a dimension where things tend to “go wrong”, we can make predictions ahead of time of what may not work or what we might lose. In that, we lose the moment. We lose what we have in the present and we don’t get everything out of it that we could.

I’m working on not expecting the worse. On not bracing myself for the impact of something bad. But first, I feel the parts that do expect the worst and discover why that is. The more that Shai and Michael vulnerably share their fears with me, the more they will fall in love and fall in tandem with one another. That’s when their gifts can shine and that love can be shared with others.

We talk about inner sacred union a lot for a reason. It’s so important to start within. To grow the glow of love so brightly that it shines through every pore and into those around you.

*****

I found this poem from almost two years ago that I thought was fitting for this! It’s from my masculine too my feminine:

I always thought I was different than the other men

More sensitive

More emotional

More mature

 

I thought I was protecting you from the other men

Giving you edges

Hiding your feelings

Numbing your reactions

 

I thought you’d be hurt by the other men

They would crack you into pieces

They would scratch your porcelain skin

They would break your fragile heart

 

But now I see your strength as a woman

Your compassion

Your empathetic prowess

Your stillness and energy, both

 

I thought I could hide you as a woman

Under formless clothing

Under quick-witted comebacks

Under disinterest in romance

 

Maybe now I can support you as a woman

Become the mind to your heart

Become the here to your now

Become the pot to your plant

 

I’m not meant to be your guard,

But instead your partner

Your partner in this dance

Few know the steps to

 

Where our rhythms match,

Our hearts unite

And our souls release the energy

Of every star in the nighttime sky

*****

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.