On Showing Up

By Raphael Awen


Never before are we being asked to show up like we are right now.

But what does it mean to ‘show up’?

The show is the show of your life, as you know it right now, as its unfolding before you. It is who and what is in your face, in your inbox. It is who has your number. It is what’s happening in public and private.

There’s a new word in our culture for the disappearing act people play when they want to exit a situation without facing a goodbye. It’s called ‘ghosting’. ‘Love bite’ is another very real scenario where a couple meet and soar to some mega heights of intimacy and sexuality, only to have one party inexplicably exit the relationship, leaving the other devastated.

Until we face and complete a situation or a relationship, we haven’t grounded the lessons life was wanting to give us through that very real drama in the show of our lives.

But what would propel us to avoid such completions? Could it be that subconsciously we are simply afraid to go on to our next lessons? Like the now quite famous saying of ‘our greatest fear is not that we are small, but rather that we are great beyond measure.’

I so believe that we are in the school of coming to terms with our own greatness, and this is what is going on in our relationship playouts. Life is ever seeking to lead us to know, feel and integrate our own bigness, the infinite love that we actually are, but have willingly forgotten, in order to be remembered into an even larger version of ourselves from the us that chose and surrendered to the forgetting.

Life is ever seeking to take us out into the deep waters beyond the fear of our own greatness into entirely new terrains that consciously we have yet to be introduced to. Life provides the path and stepping stones for us, but it only works to the degree we are willing to show up for it.

Showing up is about knowing what you really and truly want, and being willing to claim that, and then being willing to show up further for any of the fallouts and fallins that occur because of that claim.

Showing up for anything or anyone in life is only real if it begins with truly showing up for yourself in this way. Many will expound the virtues of selflessness here as a way to mask their fear of their own greatness. Showing up for others when you are not showing up for yourself is actually a form of cocreated and mutual abuse between you and the person you are supposedly helping. It’s a pact of mutuality to stay safely small known as caretaking.

Then these ghosting and love bite scenarios are the only option that’s left for people when their self worth is worn too low to sustain any more perceived loss to that meager self worth.

All of this changes intensely however when one begins choosing this new integration of showing up for themselves. Simply becoming honest with oneself reverses decades and even lifetimes of self-disintegration.

Where is life asking you to show up right now? I feel I can promise you (hopefully without sounding too parental) that if you are willing to show up for your own desires in this way, life will meet you and grace you with all that you need to navigate that choice point. Your choices are a very literal portal into the next versions of yourself that life is wanting to birth in you.

I’m showing up for a men’s group call tomorrow and I want to invite you to show up for it as well if this juice and energy calls to you. The group calls we lead most weekends are about introducing a path that we call SoulFullHeart and I invite you to check out our website as fully as it calls to you at soulfullheartwayoflife.com. The men’s group link for tomorrow is below (and there is a women’s group call that Jelelle is leading on April 15th..)


Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and inspiration.