By Jelelle Awen
Powerful energies coming in on this Equinox Full moon passage…..inviting an inner balance, and healing of polarities within! When I meditated this morning tuning into the Equinox, I kept seeing the Yin Yang symbol over and over. When I receive this symbol, it is usually a reminder of unification of light and dark and of maintaining a flow between the two. I then felt what I have come to call my “Black Swan” and “White Swan” soul essence expressions twirling and swirling around each other in the form of the Yin Yang.
The Black Swan represents my priestess lineage, often needing to be kept in the shadows and hidden due to persecution/lack of acceptance by the patriarchy in other lifetimes. My Black Swan (called Lorna, after a High Priestess of Avalon timeline aspect) is not evil at all, yet she is able to be comfortable in the darkness, unsentimental when needed, direct and confrontal, penetrating with truth, catalytic and alchemical. Lorna becomes frustrated and irritated when people aren’t being real or authentic, with falseness, with patriarchal control (in women too), and when she isn’t able to speak her truth and ‘do her magic.’
She is balanced out by my “White Swan” essence called Grace, the embodiment of grace, purity, stillness, compassion, and light. Grace can tend toward care taking others, not bringing her truth in concern of hurting people, etc. Lorna balances her out just as Grace’s stillness (water element) evens out and soothes Lorna’s fire.
I feel that we as women have these soul essences within us (along with the Mother, Queen, and Lover) that become more accessible to us as we heal from fusions to our Inner Teenager, Inner Child, Inner Matriarch, Protector, Punisher, etc. These parts have formed in response to wounding and trauma from this life and other lifetimes. They essentially bury and densify the soul essences of our sacred feminine from coming out and expressing.
My process the last couple of years, as I deepen in parts work/soul aspect integration, has been a focus on these soul expressions and healing the trauma/karma patterns so that they can arise more and more. And, come into balance rather than be polarized against each other. These essences can also be compartmentalized ‘away’ from each other.
During my recent rest phase, I discovered that Grace was more allowed in my service work than Lorna was, as Grace was more acceptable in certain ways. This left Lorna on the ‘outside’, frustrated at times, and not able to bring her penetrable truth as needed. Yet, I trust deeply now the need for BOTH the light and the dark, the fire and the water, the comforter and the confronter. Anything that is suppressed will express eventually, yet usually in a way that can be more harmful and explosive to self and others.
Relationships, esp those more 3D anchored, can seem to require this ‘putting away’ of certain aspects that might be judged as unsavoury, too intense, controversial, and rebellious. Yet it is these very energies that make life and relationships feel ALIVE, passionate, interesting, with healthy boundaries, and also allow for catalytic growth to occur.
An interesting meditation can be to connect with your “Black Swan” or shadow aspect and see/feel/notice what comes up. And then your “White Swan” aspect that is in more outed expression in your life. Feel the difference between the two….what are their polarities to each other? Do they even know the other exists?
Do they live in two separate worlds and realities (this is often the case)?
Invite these aspects of your being to be together in union again. Create a loving, non-judgemental bridge for both to become in synch again. Draw in the Equinox energies to support this reunion from within.
Much Equinox blessings and love to you and both your white and black swan aspects! Jelelle Awen
More info about sessions, books (including Free To Be 5D my most recent one with more about parts/soul aspects), etc. at soulfullheart.org.