The Opposites You Feel Inside Are A Portal To The Oneness You Are

By Raphael Awen

Experiencing and feeling what you don’t want is actually what’s key to experiencing what you do want.

To the degree you feel depressed is actually testament to your native capacity for enthusiasm, creativity and divine play.

To the degree you know what it is to feel anxiety, speaks to your natural ability for radiating deep trust, rest and security in relationship to yourself, others, and beyond.

The presence of the negative is the evidence of and testament to the presence and reality of the positive. One relies on the other for its existence. 

This tug-of-war polarity and tension between what you desire and what you actually experience is the pathway into navigating between the two in the direction you want to go. You are like this anti-gravitic travel device in this way that can dial up both gravity and levity to create movement. Knowing one allows you to know the other.

You wouldn’t even be able to feel tension, were it not for rest. You couldn’t feel love were it not for fear. You couldn’t feel trust were it not for anxiety. 

These polarities seem like opposites, they seem ‘opposed’ to one another. While they have polarity, they are not separate or opposed in the way we think of separation or opposition. They come from the same source, making them two expressions of oneness. No ‘opposition’ per se’, just polarity, the likes of which make for great romance.

All of this is flowing from the oneness that you are, that you came from, and that you are returning to. You are already perfect, just maybe not in the way a part of you defined perfection. 

If this is true, then what?

Then,….you are being invited to embrace the opposite, the thing that is ‘opposing’ the thing you want. It’s a magical doorway into the thing you want, an invitation instead of an opposition.

You can now choose to explore what you feared exploring, what you deemed off limits and parked in secluded shadow, to then have more and more arising felt experience of your true essence in your everyday life. 

Sounds like magic and play to me! 

Begin to really dream of the life you want. See it, feel it. Feel it deeply in contrast to fully feeling the life you presently have, but long to change. Especially feel and don’t deny the parts of you who just can’t see it, who just can’t get excited just yet. 

GET CURIOUS, open your heart to all that is inside of you. Enter the darkness. It is your magical portal into the infinite magic of being that you are!

I can tell you personally, that I no longer experience the unaddressed and avoided layers of anxiety or depression or shame that I once did. Where these things once lived in my life is now the presence of deep trust and arising creativity, and very meaningful and deepening self worth. This doesn’t mean I am without challenge. Duality still provides me with the tension between what I have and what I want. That’s called appetite, always moving between satiation and desire. 

What’s cool about this is that the courage it took to face and love my depression and anxiety is the same template for how I live in the moment of every day. What need is arising now? How can I embrace that need! Where is love wanting to flow and be felt? 

What largesse of my being is wanting to engage it’s next step into the world of infinite love and infinite possibility?

We are this crazy hot stuff, only reeling from how magical we are, how infinite we are, how full of love we are. Everything ‘else’ isn’t anything ‘else’, it’s all the same pointing to the oneness we are inside, outside and collectively.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

Please consider joining Jelelle Awen, myself and others for Free To Be Two – our soon upcoming six week group call series held on Wednesdays (May 20th to June 24). These two hour group calls have been very transformative and healing for those who participated. A donation of any amount gets you the Zoom link to join as well as the recordings of each meeting in case you’re not able to attend. They’re also a great way to get introduced to SoulFullHeart if you’d like to. You can get more info and sign up here: soulfullheart.org/freetobe2 I really hope you can join us.

Welcoming The Peaks And Valleys Of Awakening

by Raphael Awen

You can have what you want. That’s not actually the question.

The bigger question is about being ready to have what you want.

A part of you may readily say ‘oh, believe me, I’m ready! I’m so ready, I’m getting both depressed and impatient waiting to have what I really want.’

But this is only taking into consideration one part of you. Other parts of you can be just off your radar and actively resisting you (or what we call ‘you’) as they are not interested at all in these big changes ‘you’ feel you are so ready for. This resistive part of you is not something you can control, but it is something that you are responsible for, and something that you need to become responsive to.

Then, there is also another aspect of you, that is probably also just off your radar and that is your higher self. Your higher self may have chosen a preferred path of difficulty and going without something that another part of you deeply desires in order to learn and grow through a difficulty. It wouldn’t actually be a growth crucible without this tension between what ‘you’ want and don’t want. Your higher self is also something you cannot control, but it is something you are responsible for and that you also need to become more responsive to.

You are not a victim. Your life as you know it now is shaped by you, and the life you will come to know in the future is also shaped by you.

Your life as it is right now, warts and all, is perfect in the midst of imperfection. You are perfect while growing and learning. All the angst, pain and confusion is sacred. You had so much heaven that you needed to dial up hell in order to grow. Your soul loved the heaven it knew, but it also wanted more, and it knew the path to more was though the tension of less.

Consciously letting go of reaching for peak experiences and instead welcoming your awaiting valley experiences is what your soul may be asking of you. You may have very much needed your awakening experiences that happened through the peak experiences to let you know what is possible and what awaits you. But now, your soul wants you to let go of what a part of you may be be in danger of becoming quite addicted to, in order now to more consciously connect to what you actually came here for.

Whether conscious or not, you can’t escape growth. Growth is built into the DNA of the universe that you are a part of. While you can’t escape growth, you can accept your awakening to what is, and even the need to mourn the loss of your deep night’s rest in the 3D fusion of unconsciousness.

Now, as you are awakening, you are offered a conscious choice that your path up, is a path down. The downward path is a matter of feeling all there is to feel that you were not able to feel while asleep in 3D consciousness.

This will involve feeling crappy on a regular basis for a good amount of time. If this isn’t an option for ‘you’, then you are not yet ready for this deeper more conscious path of healing, but you can be assured, all of us will be invited and re-invited to return here just as soon and we are ready to. It is what we came here for. We came here to ascend with all of us, without any ‘lesser’ parts of us left behind being punished for any insubordination, or for just not getting the program.

Time now to look at what we’ve called ‘spiritual practices’ to feel where they are actually about transcending in the name of ascending, where they are about not feeling, rather than true healing.

We all come eventually to having what we most deeply want, with the fullest and deepest bliss that we can’t quite imagine. We are living our way to being able to imagine it as we feel and heal the parts of us still in deep pain that were covered over with our positive spirituality agendas.

Time now for a negative spirituality agenda that sees it all as sacred.

Raphael Awen

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Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

Energy Update: High SOULar Winds, Matching Magnetics, Inner Polarities

By Jelelle Awen

Energy Update: HIGH Soular winds the last few days….beyond 600 km/sec at some points when ‘normal’ is 300 and lower. There is a kind of magnetic matching going on with these winds so that they are not creating the usual geomagnetic storms.

Here’s more according to spaceweather.com, “For the third day in a row, Earth is inside a stream of fast-moving solar wind. Inside the stream, wind speeds are topping 600 km/s–yet there have been no geomagnetic storms. Why not? There’s a mismatch: Magnetic fields inside the solar wind stream are pointing North, the same direction as Earth’s magnetic field. “North” versus “North” prevents the type of magnetic link-up that leads to storming. “

This match in magnetics may actually be illuminating a mismatch inside of you and where polarities exist from one part of you to another. An example of a mismatch inside is when part of you may be stuck in a masculine suppressing/judging/guarding while another part of you (more feminine) aches for intimacy, vulnerability, and magic. This is often an Inner Punisher and an Inner Child dynamic that we feel in our process through helping you get to know BOTH energies and loving them back into balance again. It can be very challenging to BE in balance and experience your outer life in balance while inner polarities and wars are going on.

It feels like these current energies actually SUPPORT the experience of being in more alignment and what it’s like when inner north matches up with inner north. An interesting process to feel into as 2018 completes and powerful energies of completion, digestion, and NEW bridges to your higher timelines expressing in 2019 are possible.

More about parts/Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

Also, with high SOULar winds, there can be a feeling of consciousness dip more into 3D leading to tiredness, irritability, just sense of more density around you. Illuminating the 3D anchoring still going on inside and WHY…especially as connected to relationships of all kinds.

Matching and BEing in balance of energies INside and from other timelines is the opportunity we are gifted as this Ascension/Awakening process continues.

Jelelle Awen
soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Pic of aurora taken by andrei (enjoy the arctic) on December 9, 2018 @ tromso

Relationships Are A Mirror

By Jelelle Awen

The push and pulls, the mixed feelings, the uncertainties and doubts…..These feelings can SEEM to be so often about circumstances and situations that are outside of you. That person, that relationship, that dynamic….it is easier to focus outside than it is to go inward.

3D life has conditioned you to look outward. 3D reality supports you to project yourself onto others, onto cultures, onto self image-based ‘ideas’ of who you ‘should’ be. This conditioning creates a feeling of not knowing who you are unless it connects to other people. This produces a malleable sense of self represented by a shifting cast of characters/parts covering over core wounds of unworthiness, separation/abandonment, and disconnect.

You may have a Phd in understanding and analyzing other people….your mother, your father, your romantic partner, your friends, your siblings, your teachers, your clients. You may empath other people’s feelings to such a high degree that you BEcome and fuse to their emotional states as if they are your own. You may fixate on other people as the ways and means to obtain happiness and deepen your awakening as if how they are relating with you holds the KEY to how you can be. You may be focused on changing THEM as the way to receive the love you want.

It is challenging to decondition from this 3D focus on the OUTside and other people, yet, during awakening, your soul starts to move your attention INward. With this inward movement, you start to naturally retract away from the previous 3D-based social networks that served to define who you were. Your soul supports you to wake up to see, heal, and feel the traumas that bond you to other people. Your self awareness collaborates with self compassion, self love, and curiosity as you go into a deeper dive into your heart and soul.

You realize, then, that EVERY relationship in your life is a reflection of relationships going on inside of you….from one part of you to another. The polarization with other people represents polarized realities inside of you….the inner child and the inner mother/father, the Punisher and the inner child/inner teenager, the inner feminine and the inner masculine. These parts of you seem to be ‘against’ each other in some way due to not being connected with, seen, and felt. The inner conflicts rage on unfelt and, so, draw the same dynamic on the outside. More about parts/Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

You realize that the outward relationship would not be there if you didn’t need to SEE this inner relationship. Every relationship with another person serves as a mirror in this way. As you become more aware of your inner world and the parts in it, your soul self/5D self coming into your body and waking consciousness can then choose WHAT mirrors it wants to see of itself.

As you heal the inner relationships between parts of yourself, the mirrors represented by others begin to show you ONLY resonance, soul connection, and non-polarized frequencies of love. Then, a healthy sense of unity consciousness can start to transact…love flowing from your open and healing heart/soul/mind to and with the other person’s open and healing heart/soul/mind. You are becoming whole INside and don’t need them to define you in any way. You complement each other rather than compete with each other. Your consciousness can merge together in moments, yet you can still remain individual, sovereign soul sparks.

This is emotionally mature relationality INside and with others. It happens as you connect with each part of you that so needs you and heal the polarized frequencies inside of you. It happens as the integration and unification happening inside of you is able to overflow out to all those you chose to be in relationship with. It happens as you let go of any mirrors and reflections of you that are LESS than the love that you ARE.

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We support you to bridge in self love to parts of yourself during powerful, illuminating 1:1 bridging sessions with me for women or Raphael Awen for men and women. More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-sessions

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Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about  1:1 individual sessions with her for women and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group calls, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Embrace Rather Than Resist: Nothing Inside Of You Is Truly Negative, Dark, Or Evil

By Jelelle Awen

The pain comes from what has been resisted inside of you rather than embraced. The suffering comes from continual loops that pit one energy inside of you against another one. Resistance is feeling anything as ‘evil’ or ‘dark’ or ‘negative’ inside. Resistance is judging without love your body, your behaviors, your choices, your experiences.
 
Resistance is labeling things as ‘negative entities that attack you’ and then going to battle with them or to war with them (even with ‘light’) or trying to cast them out. Such a long legacy of this approach with roots in exorcisms, some Shamanism that now takes the form in New Age spirituality as ‘implant removals’. This feels like fear trying to fight fear with more fear. This only seems to produce MORE fear inside of you and in response to the outside world.
 
To embrace rather than resist is to BEcome curious, to BEcome loving, to BEcome your own ambassador to ALL the energies inside of you. To see all of what has felt like outside that is ‘doing something bad to you’ as actually coming from INside and that it has been necessary to be there. Each of these energies has stories to tell you, pieces of YOUR puzzle to offer you. While you resist them, while you label them as bad or wrong, while you disown or reject them, while you hold tension and panic in your body, while you respond in flight or fight…..you cannot create and hold the loving space to find out and discover what they are here to offer you. You cannot experience the GIFTS that these energies actually have to offer you.
 
These energies arise from often very intense unhealed polarities from one part of you to another; a dominating masculine and a repressed feminine; a dominating matriarch/inner mother and a repressed sensitive masculine; an inner mother/matriarch or inner father/patriarch and a very sensitive yet rebellious inner teenager. One of the usual dynamics is a rather ruthless feeling Punisher part of you and the corresponding shame/unworthiness that comes up in the inner child and inner Teenager in response to it. Another polarization can be the 3D Self parts that are trying so hard to remain anchored into 3D to be ‘safe’ there and the 4D awakening parts and Metasoul aspects that just want to ascend and yet don’t know how to be a bridge. Aspects from other timelines/lifetimes can be hugely polarized against your reality and everyday ‘modern’ living. More about parts and Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts
 
To embrace rather than resist is to BEcome a bridge to all of these polarities. To BE in the middle of them with love, to recognize where the source of them comes from, and to provide love to BOTH sides without actually taking sides. This ambassador YOU is watered by the Divine, who never takes sides, who never sees anything or any BEing or any energy as ‘evil’ or ‘truly negative.’
 
All energies serve a purpose in their creation…..until they are ready to move back into love again for which they are being constantly invited by the Divine to do so.
 
This ambassador YOU is your Divine Self, your Higher Self coming into your body. Your Divine Self can offer a brand NEW reality of acceptance and forgiveness to ALL dynamics and polarities and inner relationships that it finds and discovers. Your Divine Self feels when someone else’s unhealed polarities and fear are being projected onto you. When a healer or teacher has not undergone the deep dive into their emotional body and soul field to heal and feel their own polarities, it is difficult for them to offer you a truly uncharged and loving energy in response to yours. Their unhealed fear inside projects onto you and triggers the parts of you that are also in fear. I have seen trauma created from this in seekers and in teachers/healers that are innocent in one way in perpetuating this unfelt cycle with each other.
 
I know this sounds simple in some ways. Embrace rather than resist. Yet, what is challenging about this is that we haven’t been given the language to describe these dynamics. We haven’t been given a model for how to BE this way with ourselves and ALL parts of ourselves. Instead, we have been fed, bred, and served clashing polarities in our governments, in our parents and families relationships with each other and with us, in our religious and spiritual groups, in our professional and cultural societies. This has been 3D going into 4D, to experience this clash of separation, isolation, competition, contention, insecurity, scarcity, distrust, and lack of surrender and to accept it as ‘normal’ and even necessary.
 
ALL of us have received this conditioning as we have chosen to be here during this phase of Ascension with Gaia. To battle and to fight is ingrained in our Metasouls, where multiple and many timelines are playing out these very inner polarities expressing on the outside. To pick up the sword, to lash out in words, to take sides….this has been our dominant experience in 3D and even going into 4D as well.
 
You have probably put down the swords that parts of you used to take up towards others. You probably have forgiven others in a deeply genuine way.
 
Yet, now, is the turning inward and offering to yourself and ALL parts of you what you have extended to everyone else. Now is self forgiveness and self compassion that FLOODS all parts of you with love that transmutes, that transforms, that brings HOPE and infinite possibilities to every cell in your BEing and every remaining trauma and pain in your emotional body. Now is to BEcome your own love ambassador and bring diplomacy and peace to any warring factions that remain inside your BEing.
 
Now is to embrace rather than resist….inviting it all by love and with love to BEcome love once again.
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We provide support for the arising/rememberance of your ambassador self and a bridge for your connection to all aspects of yourself (led by you) through sessions. More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions
Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Jelelle offers a 90 minute one on one bridging session with her over zoom for $55 USD min. donation…more information here. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.